What every Femme should know...

[BullDog]

Passionate does not equate hostility.

Kobi, why are you always trying to control the "tone" of how people speak (usually femmes)? It is seriously irritating.

[Kobi]

Originally Posted by BullDog

Passionate does not equate hostility.

Kobi, why are you always trying to control the "tone" of how people speak (usually femmes)? It is seriously irritating.

Julie asked how we could make the process more constructive.

This makes sense given we are a developing community with new members added everyday who are going to make mistakes. Looking at how we can deal with mistakes more effectively without hurting peoples feelings in the process makes sense to me.

I voiced my opinion on the matter based on my experience in this thread today. And, I voiced why I felt the way I did.

You know what irritates me? It irritates me that I saw the original post before anyone responded to it. I could have said something to Jist and I didnt. And I didnt because I didnt want to get stuck in the middle of what I knew was going to be a problem. I didnt want to deal with the passion that was likely to find it way to me.

Knowing I did this makes me feel pretty fucking shitty about me. I let Jist down. And I let me down. Just like the Femmes have a code of honor, so do we butches. I dropped the ball here simply because I didnt want to put up with the bull. And that is making me feel pretty fucking cowardly.

And Jist, I owe you an apology. I should have said something to you and I didnt. I'm sorry. Maybe if we can discuss this without people getting chaffed, we can stop this from happening to other people.

If you need to feel chaffed, do it. I got my own irritations to deal with and, today, you are not going to be one of them.

[Novelafemme]

Originally Posted by Kobi

Julie asked how we could make the process more constructive.

This makes sense given we are a developing community with new members added everyday who are going to make mistakes. Looking at how we can deal with mistakes more effectively without hurting peoples feelings in the process makes sense to me.

I voiced my opinion on the matter based on my experience in this thread today. And, I voiced why I felt the way I did.

You know what irritates me? It irritates me that I saw the original post before anyone responded to it. I could have said something to Jist and I didnt. And I didnt because I didnt want to get stuck in the middle of what I knew was going to be a problem. I didnt want to deal with the passion that was likely to find it way to me.

Knowing I did this makes me feel pretty fucking shitty about me. I let Jist down. And I let me down. Just like the Femmes have a code of honor, so do we butches. I dropped the ball here simply because I didnt want to put up with the bull. And that is making me feel pretty fucking cowardly.

And Jist, I owe you an apology. I should have said something to you and I didnt. I'm sorry. Maybe if we can discuss this without people getting chaffed, we can stop this from happening to other people.

If you need to feel chaffed, do it. I got my own irritations to deal with and, today, you are not going to be one of them.

I really think you are spending a lot of time and energy worrying about whether or not people (yourself included) are going to get their/your feelings hurt.

We have a magnet on our fridge at home that says, "put your big girl panties on and deal with it." 'Nuff said. We are all adults. Some of us more direct than others, some handle tough situations with humor (JAGG) and others are natural peace-keepers. No one is right or wrong. What becomes challenging and frustrating is when people start personalizing everything, don't learn from situations, and continue to scream VICTIM!

I don't think you behaved cowardly, but I do read a lot of passive/agressiveness in your posts, and I personally don't generally have positive reactions to that sort of behavior. But that's just me.