Butches and Body Image - Let's Talk About It

[Turtle]

Things happen in our lives and we think, "I'll never do THAT again" or "I sure want to do that better." We learn from others - good and bad.

I seek to heal, to leave the world a better place, to bridge communities, to apologize when I screw up, to love wherever I can, to welcome into community - I always have an empty chair in the circle to be welcoming of all comers...

I am responsible for the way I behave and I do not choose to tell people to leave because I know I would be told to leave "their" place. How we learn from each other's identity place is relevant.

Once upon a time, I was in a bar playing a video game with an older man. I was winning. He didn't take it very well. I lost on purpose, then I felt shitty about it and swore to my self that I would never have my femaleness defer to a maleness like that again. This is some of how I have learned to be me.

And no, I don't think someone should let their boat flood and sink to protect some dipshit's butch "pride," just like I'm not not ever gonna lose on purpose for somebody else's fragile ego again.

Do I want to talk about zebras in a car thread - no. But identity formation, figuring out who we are and how we move in the world is complicated with a lot of overlapping areas...and some people might even do some "switching" in the navigating of who and how they want to be when.

And I'm up for the discussion of that and all it entails.

[Okiebug61]

Has anyone read any of the works by Esther Newton. I find her to be wonderfully honest and intellectually stimulating. She has written articles about being butch and the body image issues. She is not afraid to put controversial things in writing so you have to have a very open mind into her definitions.

http://www.lsa.umich.edu/women/faculty/facbio.asp?ID=43

[Scuba]

Originally Posted by Okiebug61

Has anyone read any of the works by Esther Newton. I find her to be wonderfully honest and intellectually stimulating. She has written articles about being butch and the body image issues. She is not afraid to put controversial things in writing so you have to have a very open mind into her definitions.

http://www.lsa.umich.edu/women/faculty/facbio.asp?ID=43

No but thanks for the information. I'll be sure to check it out.

[ScandalAndy]

Originally Posted by Okiebug61

Has anyone read any of the works by Esther Newton. I find her to be wonderfully honest and intellectually stimulating. She has written articles about being butch and the body image issues. She is not afraid to put controversial things in writing so you have to have a very open mind into her definitions.

http://www.lsa.umich.edu/women/faculty/facbio.asp?ID=43

She was my intro to gay & lesbian studies and Gay & Lesbian studies Jr/Sr seminar professor. She wears her butch identity with pride every day and is DEFINITELY not afraid to speak out against things she does not agree with and find oppressive. She and I use different definitions of "butch", and we butted heads from time to time (I was butch presenting when I took her lectures), but her knowledge and conviction is astounding. She presented some interesting thoughts on being butch and aging, too.

[StoneOne]

I will read on I have felt and tried to deal with all of this and it feels good to talk about it...........

[StoneOne]

talked about the bathroom issues ?
Good God I walk into any public bathroom and everyone stops and stares then they go look to see what the sign says thinking they walked into the wrong room and then I get Syr your in the wrong bathroom not sure what to do with this or how to feel or just feel nothing at all............... OMG it is sometimes funny to see the group of women stuck in their footsteps bogged .......
can I just say I'm sexy and I know it LMAO the m&m ad

[Heavenleahangel]

Originally Posted by StoneOne

talked about the bathroom issues ?
Good God I walk into any public bathroom and everyone stops and stares then they go look to see what the sign says thinking they walked into the wrong room and then I get Syr your in the wrong bathroom not sure what to do with this or how to feel or just feel nothing at all............... OMG it is sometimes funny to see the group of women stuck in their footsteps bogged .......
can I just say I'm sexy and I know it LMAO the m&m ad

I have been in this same situation when I was with my ex. When we went out, hy avoided the restrooms at all cost, except Wal-Mart which has the "family restroom" in the back. Of course then I had to remind the pervert the family restroom is not for *trying to create a family*!!!! Hy always had that devilish grin that sait "It didn't hurt to try!"

[Okiebug61]

Originally Posted by StoneOne

talked about the bathroom issues ?
Good God I walk into any public bathroom and everyone stops and stares then they go look to see what the sign says thinking they walked into the wrong room and then I get Syr your in the wrong bathroom not sure what to do with this or how to feel or just feel nothing at all............... OMG it is sometimes funny to see the group of women stuck in their footsteps bogged .......
can I just say I'm sexy and I know it LMAO the m&m ad

I'm sorry you are being stereo typed. A new trend we have here in Oklahoma which I am sure is not a first is family bathrooms. I love it. It truly helps those who do not fit the worlds view of men and women have an option where going to the freaking bathroom is not such an issue. I frankly am more worried about a clean stall than who is using it.

[StoneOne]

Originally Posted by Okiebug61

I'm sorry you are being stereo typed. A new trend we have here in Oklahoma which I am sure is not a first is family bathrooms. I love it. It truly helps those who do not fit the worlds view of men and women have an option where going to the freaking bathroom is not such an issue. I frankly am more worried about a clean stall than who is using it.

I would give anything for a butch restroom ... as we change everyday becoming who we are suppose to be it gets harder to be part of the "public" vision . I could pass enough to use the mens restroom but ......that really does not feel right. I have not seen the family restroom as of yet but I will keep my eyes open. My guess is the "public" may view it as the mom with 5 kids and that would be a sight to see lmao as I go into use the restroom and there are 3 familys 14 kids saying mom why is that man in here?? Thanks for having my back on the stereotyped