Privacy?

[dixie]

Originally Posted by Apocalipstic

I did not realize it bothered anyone if members were invisible, now that I know...I will remain visible.

Now see, I'm a little different.

For me, I have that odd, cynical conspiracy theory mind. So when someone says to me that it bothers them that I'm invisible, it makes me wonder why they feel the need to monitor the activities of others.

"I don't like that I can't see you unless you post" for example.


I can understand if folks have legitimate concerns such as stalkers or whatnot, but in general? I see no harm or no issue with folks being invisible. Yeah, I donated and have that option. That was choice. For a long time, I didn't have that option. Did it bother me that others did? Not a bit.

[Ginger]

I don't see anything wrong with invisiblity being a perk for paid members. I think people should get rewarded for membership!

I didn't even know paid membership was an option here (I just joined). I must have missed it. Someone said they don't push it and there you go; I didn't even notice it, it's so un-pushed.

It did feel kind of funny when I realized every time I visited someone's profile, I left a calling card in the form of my screen name on their "who last visited" list. I felt sort of exposed.

But on the other hand, I like seeing who has visited my profile—I guess I can't have it both ways (unless I join).

Nice to have a choice...

I have no idea where I'm going with this, just commenting, taking it in.

[Apocalipstic]

Originally Posted by dixie

Now see, I'm a little different.

For me, I have that odd, cynical conspiracy theory mind. So when someone says to me that it bothers them that I'm invisible, it makes me wonder why they feel the need to monitor the activities of others.

"I don't like that I can't see you unless you post" for example.


I can understand if folks have legitimate concerns such as stalkers or whatnot, but in general? I see no harm or no issue with folks being invisible. Yeah, I donated and have that option. That was choice. For a long time, I didn't have that option. Did it bother me that others did? Not a bit.

I could care less who sees me actually, I just thought it was so freakin cool when I won the lifetime membership and had more options!!! I love options.

I am not and have never tried to sneak around on here lol, but have heard the invisible thing mentioned by several people several times...so some people give wayyyyyyy more thought than I ever have.

[Ginger]

Originally Posted by Apocalipstic

I could care less who sees me actually, I just thought it was so freakin cool when I won the lifetime membership and had more options!!! I love options.

I am not and have never tried to sneak around on here lol, but have heard the invisible thing mentioned by several people several times...so some people give wayyyyyyy more thought than I ever have.

So now everyone is making me wonder if I would participate differently on the site, if I were invisible. Is that what we used to call "lurking"? But "lurking" has negative connotations, and I think the invisibility we're talking about here, since condoned, and consensual in that everyone knows the deal, doesn't have any ethical problems associated with "lurking."

[LaneyDoll]

Originally Posted by IslandScout

So now everyone is making me wonder if I would participate differently on the site, if I were invisible. Is that what we used to call "lurking"? But "lurking" has negative connotations, and I think the invisibility we're talking about here, since condoned, and consensual in that everyone knows the deal, doesn't have any ethical problems associated with "lurking."

I know that I would be likely to. A lot of times, I will see that someone looked at my profile so I look at theirs. Or they have something interesting to say so I want to check them out further. But, knowing that they can see me look, makes me less willing to do so. I don't want there to be any assumptions about my intent since it is more curiousity than anything else.

[Corkey]

I don't care as to who visits my profile, the only one I do care about is my wife. Folks are gonna look folks up to post on their profile page so it automatically shows up, unless one is invisible. It's just an operating feature of the site.

[dixie]

Originally Posted by IslandScout

So now everyone is making me wonder if I would participate differently on the site, if I were invisible. Is that what we used to call "lurking"? But "lurking" has negative connotations, and I think the invisibility we're talking about here, since condoned, and consensual in that everyone knows the deal, doesn't have any ethical problems associated with "lurking."

Invisibility had no effect on my participation. I lurk whether I'm invisible or not (not in a bad way, I just like the term) lol

[Toughy]

Can a Sentinel (or above) member see who is invisible? If Apocalipstic is invisible, is she invisible to everyone or just invisible to those who don't have that capability?

I always took lurking to mean following a thread without posting in it.

And then there is 'threading stalking' a person. I thread stalk June because I like to read what she writes.....I have a long standing crush on the poodle and can't help myself....meaning I click on her name and click on the see more posts and then read everything she writes in every thread.

Going to the way back machine and seeing what Toughy posted 10 years ago is an eye opening experience...........laughin.....

[apretty]

yes but, do you pronounce it, 'prehvacee' or 'priiiiivacy'?

[girl_dee]

Sometimes i click a name somewhere along the line and end up on a profile by accident, and i figure that could be how they showed up on mine, i have never felt icky about anyone "being" on my page at all, what's to see anyway? Maybe i am just too boring!


i love the *who's online* function, i love that where we are lurking can be seen by anyone. i have made several posts and then sat viewing who's online and saw someone checking out all my posts, made me feel kinda special

i do follow some people because i find them interesting, or want to see what DaddiB is up to

[Soft*Silver]

I rather despise the fact that paid members can be invisible. It feels like I am not worthy of protection as an unpaid member. I know I am spied upon. There is a name that NEVER leaves my visitor list. But i also wonder who else watches me silently. It almost feels like how a set of dogs attacks..one from the rear, one in the front.

Yet I remain present. And I do not stop saying anything I want to say. If people want to keep tabs on me, so be it. I just hate that they can use that feature to do so. If I had the means to pay for a membership, i would, so i wouldn't feel shadowed. But not being able to isnt enough to keep me away from a site that otherwise, i feel comfortable in.

I go in the butt and fist threads. Hahaha. I make sure my silent watchers get their monies worth....

[apretty]

I want to speak to your accusations and loaded words, here.

There's some really strong, fierce individuals on this site that 'protect' themselves and each other as needed, daily. If you were treated unfairly or badly in some real situation I and many others would readily come to your defense, despite your conclusion that as a result of a paid-user option, you live in fear of being strategically attacked by a pack of dogs.

This is to say nothing of the real and actual concern that the site administrators give every member on a daily basis. Meaning that your accusations are offensive, given the spirit of the site, and that the owners and the administrators are people I know to care about you and every other member, long after most people would lose interest or tolerance for each of our mini-dramas, our bad days, our exes and their exes, real and imagined, etc.

Those are a couple of things that you might consider, or not.

Originally Posted by Miss_Tia

I rather despise the fact that paid members can be invisible. It feels like I am not worthy of protection as an unpaid member. I know I am spied upon. There is a name that NEVER leaves my visitor list. But i also wonder who else watches me silently. It almost feels like how a set of dogs attacks..one from the rear, one in the front.

[Novelafemme]

Originally Posted by Miss_Tia

I rather despise the fact that paid members can be invisible. It feels like I am not worthy of protection as an unpaid member. I know I am spied upon. There is a name that NEVER leaves my visitor list. But i also wonder who else watches me silently. It almost feels like how a set of dogs attacks..one from the rear, one in the front.

Yet I remain present. And I do not stop saying anything I want to say. If people want to keep tabs on me, so be it. I just hate that they can use that feature to do so. If I had the means to pay for a membership, i would, so i wouldn't feel shadowed. But not being able to isnt enough to keep me away from a site that otherwise, i feel comfortable in.

I go in the butt and fist threads. Hahaha. I make sure my silent watchers get their monies worth....

I have to wonder why you feel so watched, Miss_Tia? And what about someone visiting your page is so threatening to you? I visit a gazillion pages a day (just because I'm nosey like that) and the few times someone has questioned my intent, I simply answer honestly and make a mental note to respect said person's privacy.

I'm not sure if I am still invisible, but for a while I very much appreciated being able to log in here and know not everyone could see which threads I was visiting and where I was on the site. It was a vulnerable time for me. Now I don't feel so sensitive and I don't mind being observed in such a manner.

It is tricky trying to navigate the same space your ex occupies, but it can be done. For me the process has been about learning not to read everything through a "me" lens. And then, of course, being respectful of their right to move forward as they see fit, and vs-vs.

No one here has ever resembled a pack of dogs to me. I'm sorry you feel that way.

[Toughy]

Originally Posted by Miss_Tia

I rather despise the fact that paid members can be invisible. It feels like I am not worthy of protection as an unpaid member. I know I am spied upon. There is a name that NEVER leaves my visitor list. But i also wonder who else watches me silently. It almost feels like how a set of dogs attacks..one from the rear, one in the front.

Yet I remain present. And I do not stop saying anything I want to say. If people want to keep tabs on me, so be it. I just hate that they can use that feature to do so. If I had the means to pay for a membership, i would, so i wouldn't feel shadowed. But not being able to isnt enough to keep me away from a site that otherwise, i feel comfortable in.

I go in the butt and fist threads. Hahaha. I make sure my silent watchers get their monies worth....

little paranoid darlin??

I am a paid member, but not at a level that allows me to be invisible.

Have you contacted that individual and asked why they 'NEVER leave your visitor list'? Have you reported your concerns about the individual that 'NEVER leaves your visitor list' to the site owners/moderators?

You do realize that your post makes me want to go to your profile page at least once every day and figure out who this 'NEVER leaves your visitor list' might be. Matter of fact, after I hit the reply button I will make a visit to your profile page......shaking my head....

[girl_dee]

Originally Posted by June

Sentinels and Lifetime members can see folks who are also Sentinels and Lifetime members, even if they choose to use the invisibility feature. They show up with a * behind their name on the member list to the left for me. The Mods and Admins can see everyone who's online at anytime, even if they're invisible.

dixie* <---like that.

We can also see what folks are doing in the "Who's Online". That's why sometimes you'll get a little note from one of us because we feel you're spending too much time searching the posts of your ex, or your exes new "friend" when we've asked you not to.

Who else wonders what Toughy wants?

*Friend* ? that's cute, my mom still uses that. Hehe