Butches and Body Image - Let's Talk About It

[StoneOne]

not to I guess when the courts change it and I dont answer they will get it..... but what do u call them when I'm called "IT"

[Morgan]

When I walk into a women's restroom, I find myself feeling very awkward....I get double takes and outright stares. Some kids will say "mommy is that a boy or a girl"? And the parents, embarased usually will tell their kids to "shhhhhh"...
At the gym it is even more awkward, as the showers and dressing area is open and women are in there changing. I avoid eye contact or looking over in that direction.
Is this just me or do other butches feel the same? I avoid public restrooms as much as possible and if I see a private family restroom I will use that instead.
Lately at the gym while lifting, usually more than most guys there....I get a few stares, today I got some comments and they started talking about their male genitilia. I actually was called a "freak" today....under there breath of course. Like I didn't know, makes me smirk even more and feel a little smug, jealousy....hmmmm, yep think so.

[Corkey]

Originally Posted by StoneOne

not to I guess when the courts change it and I dont answer they will get it..... but what do u call them when I'm called "IT"

Ignorant jackass would be my guess.

[Metro]

Thought I'd share a positive experience or two... by way of background, being called "Sir" is not an uncommon occurrence for me. I do not "pass" as straight and ID both as butch lesbian and female -- presenting a masculine style of dress, hair style and facial structure.

This morning, like many a Saturday, I took a trip to my neighborhood Homo Depot. Upon entering I sighted an employee, clad in the HD neon orange apron, and walked in his direction to ask a question. When I approached and got close enough to speak he immediately smiled and asked "May I help you, Sir?". I responded with an extended silent pause and a very big smile. A look of surprise flashed across his face as he recognized that I was not male -- almost simultaneously he corrected himself (with a quick apology) -- and was, in fact, quite helpful and pleasant throughout the remainder of our exchange.

In another recent situation... I was in an unfamiliar shopping/parking structure downtown one evening just before the shopping part of it was due to close for the night. Didn't know where to get my parking stub validated or what the minimum purchase would be to get the validation/discount (which can be substantial in downtown Chicago on a Saturday night). I found a coffee/bakery kiosk on the ground floor and walked up with a smile on my face, asked the dude working it how he was doing, then proceeded to ask what the minimum purchase was for parking validation. Without hesitation he said he was fine, thanks, and extended his hand offering me a parking validation pass, saying -- it was on him tonight. That was nice. And all I did was be courteous and smile.

Over the years I have learned not to underestimate the power of a simple smile, and at times, the addition of a hand shake when greeting a stranger. In my experience, these simple gestures set a tone that often engenders, at the very least, cooperation and respectful conversation.

[AlexHunter]

I've been meaning to come back around and reply to this thread.

I have been called "it" more times than I can count throughout my life. I find it very disrespectful to have my humanity discredited like that.

I noticed some of you mentioned insecurities about not being big enough. Count me in with that one. While I am somewhat tall (between 5'7" and 5'8"), I am also somewhat slim. I do have broad shoulders and a little bit of muscle, but most people just say I am small/skinny/etc. I don't like that. I don't want people assuming I am weak or believing I am in any way scrawny.

In my mind, I'm big (in the buff way) and hulked to hell. At the same time, I accept my body for what it is. I'm healthy, in shape, and actually quite strong. I think it is human nature to want what you do not have or to desire to be "better." I have attempted to gain muscle weight and been successful at it, but getting any further than where I've gotten requires an extent of dedication that I honestly don't have at this point.

At the same time, I feel I have no right to complain about this because I know too many people who would probably slaughter a small country to be "naturally thin."

With regards to smiling, yes, everyone likes a smile... and it took me awhile to like my own. My smile is very feminine and has "given me away" before. During more dysphoric periods of my life, I refused to smile in pictures entirely because I thought it made me look female.

My friends kept telling me what a nice smile I had and encouraged me to smile more. I eventually decided they were right.