Opinions

The_Lady_Snow · 05-14-2012, 11:16 AM

If you're not into "marriage" like some of us aren't it's going to feel unequal and people who are and have been coupled minus a piece of paper should still be able to get the same rights as their straight counter parts.

Lots of laws keep the LGBTQI peoples from having the same rights as heterinormative folks do from adoptions to estate taxes...

Until it's Federal and not just in the hands of the States we have a long fight, this time with some acknowledgement from The POTUS.

It's up to us to be visible, vote and not give up.

Medusa · 05-14-2012, 11:42 AM

I wrote a rant on Facebook a while back that really speaks loudly to how I feel about all of the chatter happening around Obama's "Gay is Ok" statements.

My facebook rant came on the heels of the Don't Ask, Don't Tell thing going away where Gays can now openly serve in the military. My first inclination when that was announced was to rejoice.
My Facebook friends feed so began filling up with other Queers posting about how they "could not celebrate because Gay soldiers were still agents of genocide" and other such statements that felt really discrediting to all of the celebratory posts that they were couched between.

Something very similar happened with this news story.

Here's the thing for me, I am going to celebrate the fact that our President said out loud that he thinks it's ok for us to marry.

I get that there are huge issues surrounding the WHY's and the timing of how he did it. I get that some of us Queers don't want to get Gay Married. I get that there are other people out there who want things and that this feels like a shitty alternative to their idea of a "true Utopian Society" where straight folks are buying the Gay spectrum a Coke and teaching them how to sing.

My irritation around the "but, but, but..." is probably highly privileged.
I'll own that fully before I go any further.

Nonetheless, here is my irritation: When are we as GLBTQ people going to stop "but, but, but-ing" and throwing ourselves on the equality sword every time we get a little something-something?

What I mean by this is, it is a HUGE deal to me that DADT was repealed. Sure, Gay soldiers are still agents of genocide but at least they aren't agents of their own erasure anymore. Can't we fucking celebrate that? Can't we stop stomping down our own joy over Gay marriage just for a split second and take in fully what it means for the POTUS to acknowledge us?

I want my Trans brothers and sisters to be acknowledged as well.
I want racism to end.
I want classism to end.
I want the world to be perfect and accepting and balanced for all of us.

I believe in my heart that the steps to get there are sometimes small and quiet and I am going to celebrate every one of them for just a moment before I start finger-waggling about how it "ain't good enough".

I believe that we sometimes have to look at ANY progress for one of us as SOME progress for all of us.

I realize that some small part of this for me is coming from that place of having been marginalized so long that I'll take any friggin' crumb that I'm thrown but I also come from a place of having been an activist for a long, LONG time. That means that my rage at the end of the day is no less there, just more measured.

In short, I am glad that Obama said what he said. I'll probably be pissed later when it boils down to a political ploy but he is the first sitting President to ever acknowledge us this way. I'll take that with gratitude.

What he said did not come without cost. To him or to us.

He will be fighting an uphill battle with some of his more conservative voters. We are going to be plunged into the spotlight in ways that we never have been before and will probably feel the heat of 1000 conservative tongues telling us to "get back in our closet".

Either way, President Obama made me proud. Even if only for a little bit.

BullDog · 05-14-2012, 05:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Medusa

Can't we fucking celebrate that? Can't we stop stomping down our own joy over Gay marriage just for a split second and take in fully what it means for the POTUS to acknowledge us?

Yes this and everything else Medusa said. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions and priorities on things, but to see President Obama get picked apart by queers everywhere (not just this site) really just makes me wonder when is anything every going to be good enough? I think more progress is made from rallying behind something than picking things apart.

I know the conservatives always vote and are a hell of a lot better at showing a united front. We can pick apart President Obama and usher in another conservative Republican president. Yeah that will really help our cause.

julieisafemme · 05-14-2012, 05:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BullDog

Yes this and everything else Medusa said. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions and priorities on things, but to see President Obama get picked apart by queers everywhere (not just this site) really just makes me wonder when is anything every going to be good enough? I think more progress is made from rallying behind something than picking things apart.

I know the conservatives always vote and are a hell of a lot better at showing a united front. We can pick apart President Obama and usher in another conservative Republican president. Yeah that will really help our cause.

Maybe nothing will ever be good enough. I sure hope not! What is wrong with striving and continuing to work? Hey the civil rights act was passed and everything is good now! Hey the first wave of feminism fixed it all up and everything is good now! Woo hoo a post racism, post sexism and very soon post homophobic world!

I fail to see how discussing things makes me some big party pooper.

I voted for Obama last time and I will this time and would have even if he had not said publicly his view on gay marriage. He said it before he was President. I get that it is more meaningful now. I still am bummed though that he left it to the states. Maybe he will change that view.

BullDog · 05-14-2012, 05:59 PM

I prefer to build on victories. Momentum in a positive direction has the ability to change things.

julieisafemme · 05-14-2012, 06:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BullDog

I prefer to build on victories. Momentum in a positive direction has the ability to change things.

So how is talking about what needs to be done in the future not building on victories? What does that mean to you? I am not being snarky with the question. Are you upset because there is not a longer period of celebration? To me Obama speaking out publicly is not a victory. Signed legislation is a victory. Court cases that set precedents are victories. I am very pleased to hear the President say clearly that he supports the right of same sex couples to marry.

julieisafemme · 05-14-2012, 11:44 AM

Do not shut up or bow out of this conversation! It is so important for our community for all voices to be heard!!! Lady Snow is exactly right that until this is a Federal law it really is meaningless. I do not see this as a state's right issue nor will I be satisfied by the President saying it is. Immigration is controlled on the federal level. State approval of gay marriage does not change that.

aishah · 05-14-2012, 11:54 AM

in my experience in other movements (especially feminism and disability rights), "trickle-down" equality very rarely actually trickles down. that's made me somewhat jaded and bitter. for that i apologize.

Medusa · 05-14-2012, 11:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by aishah

in my experience in other movements (especially feminism and disability rights), "trickle-down" equality very rarely actually trickles down. that's made me somewhat jaded and bitter. for that i apologize.

Don't apologize! You speak the truth.

It's fucking HARD to find that balance internally between being thankful for the acknowledgment and still raging about all the ways we have to do better. I struggle.

05-14-2012, 11:16 AM	#1
The_Lady_Snow MILLION $$$ PUSSY How Do You Identify?: Kinky, Raw, Perverted, Uber Queer Alpha Femme Preferred Pronoun?: Iconic Ms. Relationship Status: Keeper of 3, only one has the map to my freckles Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: La Reina del Sur Posts: 22,488 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 32,231 Thanked 80,077 Times in 15,670 Posts Rep Power: 21474874	Thinkin' If you're not into "marriage" like some of us aren't it's going to feel unequal and people who are and have been coupled minus a piece of paper should still be able to get the same rights as their straight counter parts. Lots of laws keep the LGBTQI peoples from having the same rights as heterinormative folks do from adoptions to estate taxes... Until it's Federal and not just in the hands of the States we have a long fight, this time with some acknowledgement from The POTUS. It's up to us to be visible, vote and not give up. __________________ "If you’re going to play these dirty games of ours, then you might as well indulge completely. It’s all about turning back into an animal and that’s the beauty of it. Place your guilt on the sidewalk and take a blow torch to it (guilt is usually worthless anyway). Be perverted, be filthy, do things that mannered people shouldn’t do. If you’re going to be gross then go for it and don’t wimp out."---Master Aiden

05-14-2012, 11:42 AM	#2
Medusa Mentally Delicious How Do You Identify?: Queer High Femme, thank you very much Preferred Pronoun?: Mme. Relationship Status: Married to JD. Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Atlanta Posts: 10,446 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 5,995 Thanked 42,686 Times in 7,831 Posts Rep Power: 10000025	I wrote a rant on Facebook a while back that really speaks loudly to how I feel about all of the chatter happening around Obama's "Gay is Ok" statements. My facebook rant came on the heels of the Don't Ask, Don't Tell thing going away where Gays can now openly serve in the military. My first inclination when that was announced was to rejoice. My Facebook friends feed so began filling up with other Queers posting about how they "could not celebrate because Gay soldiers were still agents of genocide" and other such statements that felt really discrediting to all of the celebratory posts that they were couched between. Something very similar happened with this news story. Here's the thing for me, I am going to celebrate the fact that our President said out loud that he thinks it's ok for us to marry. I get that there are huge issues surrounding the WHY's and the timing of how he did it. I get that some of us Queers don't want to get Gay Married. I get that there are other people out there who want things and that this feels like a shitty alternative to their idea of a "true Utopian Society" where straight folks are buying the Gay spectrum a Coke and teaching them how to sing. My irritation around the "but, but, but..." is probably highly privileged. I'll own that fully before I go any further. Nonetheless, here is my irritation: When are we as GLBTQ people going to stop "but, but, but-ing" and throwing ourselves on the equality sword every time we get a little something-something? What I mean by this is, it is a HUGE deal to me that DADT was repealed. Sure, Gay soldiers are still agents of genocide but at least they aren't agents of their own erasure anymore. Can't we fucking celebrate that? Can't we stop stomping down our own joy over Gay marriage just for a split second and take in fully what it means for the POTUS to acknowledge us? I want my Trans brothers and sisters to be acknowledged as well. I want racism to end. I want classism to end. I want the world to be perfect and accepting and balanced for all of us. I believe in my heart that the steps to get there are sometimes small and quiet and I am going to celebrate every one of them for just a moment before I start finger-waggling about how it "ain't good enough". I believe that we sometimes have to look at ANY progress for one of us as SOME progress for all of us. I realize that some small part of this for me is coming from that place of having been marginalized so long that I'll take any friggin' crumb that I'm thrown but I also come from a place of having been an activist for a long, LONG time. That means that my rage at the end of the day is no less there, just more measured. In short, I am glad that Obama said what he said. I'll probably be pissed later when it boils down to a political ploy but he is the first sitting President to ever acknowledge us this way. I'll take that with gratitude. What he said did not come without cost. To him or to us. He will be fighting an uphill battle with some of his more conservative voters. We are going to be plunged into the spotlight in ways that we never have been before and will probably feel the heat of 1000 conservative tongues telling us to "get back in our closet". Either way, President Obama made me proud. Even if only for a little bit. __________________ . . . Buy ButchFemmePlanet Merch Here: https://teespring.com/stores/butchfemmeplanetcom-merch Last edited by Medusa; 05-14-2012 at 11:45 AM.

05-14-2012, 05:59 PM	#5
BullDog Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Dominant Stone Butch Daddy Preferred Pronoun?: She Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: In A Healing Place Posts: 5,371 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 18,160 Thanked 22,640 Times in 4,463 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	I prefer to build on victories. Momentum in a positive direction has the ability to change things. __________________ Love consists in this, that two solitudes protect and touch and greet each other. - Rainer Maria Rilke

05-14-2012, 11:44 AM	#7
julieisafemme Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Woman Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: Married to Greyson Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: In the present Posts: 828 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,156 Thanked 3,434 Times in 660 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	Do not shut up or bow out of this conversation! It is so important for our community for all voices to be heard!!! Lady Snow is exactly right that until this is a Federal law it really is meaningless. I do not see this as a state's right issue nor will I be satisfied by the President saying it is. Immigration is controlled on the federal level. State approval of gay marriage does not change that.

05-14-2012, 11:54 AM	#8
aishah Member How Do You Identify?: queer stone femme shark baby girl Preferred Pronoun?: she, her, little one Relationship Status: dating myself. Join Date: Jan 2012 Location: dallas, tx Posts: 1,495 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 13,823 Thanked 6,440 Times in 1,288 Posts Rep Power: 21474851	in my experience in other movements (especially feminism and disability rights), "trickle-down" equality very rarely actually trickles down. that's made me somewhat jaded and bitter. for that i apologize.