"You're Not A Lesbian......" So Annoying!

[Martina]

i have to say that butches are some of the worst offenders re making me aware of my invisibility as a lesbian. They have been so stared at for so long that some of them are pretty prickly. So when a straight looking woman looks at them, they often return some pretty nasty looks.

Not fun to be given that look by someone you are admiring. i don't know what it is like to be harrassed all your life for being a dyke. i know it's much worse than what i am complaining about. For one thing it includes the potential for violence.

But i sometimes wish butches were a little more gracious when a straight looking woman gives them they eye. So many just assume we're STARING at the lesbian. Well i may be staring, but it's not cause i am appalled that yer a dyke. ANyway, high end problem i know. But when i get those looks, i get pissed. i actually YELLED at some baby butch who gave me a withering look for noticing her, "I was a dyke before you were BORN, sister." Sorta ashamed to admit that. But i had just had my fill of that shit.

[Quintease]

Originally Posted by Martina

"I was a dyke before you were BORN, sister." Sorta ashamed to admit that.

Ha ha, I have been tempted .. Kudos to you.

[Nadeest]

@ Martina How did she react, when you told her that?

[Martina]

Originally Posted by Nadeest

@ Martina How did she react, when you told her that?

i guess a little chagrinned but then kinda scared that she got yelled at.

[Midnight]

Originally Posted by Martina

i have to say that butches are some of the worst offenders re making me aware of my invisibility as a lesbian. They have been so stared at for so long that some of them are pretty prickly. So when a straight looking woman looks at them, they often return some pretty nasty looks.

Not fun to be given that look by someone you are admiring. i don't know what it is like to be harrassed all your life for being a dyke. i know it's much worse than what i am complaining about. For one thing it includes the potential for violence.

But i sometimes wish butches were a little more gracious when a straight looking woman gives them they eye. So many just assume we're STARING at the lesbian. Well i may be staring, but it's not cause i am appalled that yer a dyke. ANyway, high end problem i know. But when i get those looks, i get pissed. i actually YELLED at some baby butch who gave me a withering look for noticing her, "I was a dyke before you were BORN, sister." Sorta ashamed to admit that. But i had just had my fill of that shit.

I'm surprised at this attitude by other butches. When a woman is checking me over, straight or not, sneering look or not, I'll always smile at them and be polite.

[Quintease]

I too know someone, who upon being caught perving on a young butch, was very hurt when the girl not only assumed my friend was straight, but rudely told her so.

[Midnight]

That's terrible! It seems that it's the young ones that are giving us a bad name. Older butches know to assume everyone is gay unless told otherwise

[Midnight]

Just wanted to add that I'm sorry for stepping into femme space. I was just appalled at the actions of those butches.

[Quintease]

Originally Posted by Midnight

That's terrible! It seems that it's the young ones that are giving us a bad name. Older butches know to assume everyone is gay unless told otherwise

I don't think its just the butches, I think femme visibility is also weighted towards the young. How many people do you know who complain that being recognised is almost impossible as you get older, or come out as an older woman, or even just have kids! It seems lesbians are just as susceptible to falling prey to stereotypes as straight people.