What attracts you to Ftms ......

[aishah]

passionately in love with a transguy who identifies as straight in some ways and queer in others. and also identifies as butch.

i see my partner as male and i relate to him that way. when i look at him i don't think "female" at all. he does have a strong queer butch energy that i love...and he's comfortable identifying as butch. when we got together he was still at the beginning of his transition and he's still figuring out a lot of things himself. i think if he'd identified as straight to the point that i felt like he also expected me to id as straight or something it may not have worked...but he also has strong ties to the queer community, and he was attracted to me in large part because i'm a queer femme. he doesn't expect me to be any different than that. for me...it's never been a challenge to see him as a man. i cannot wrap my head around how people constantly misgender him. because when i look at him, i see a man. our relationship dynamics and our sex are queer and we like it that way. partly because he is a stone butch and i am a stone femme, our relationship does feel and look different than relationships i've had with cismen. but that doesn't change the fact that i relate to him as a man. one thing that attracted me to him, besides the physical and the fact that he is a hot butch (who is also intelligent, caring, fun to be around, considerate, etc.), is that he affirmed my identity and loved me for who i am (as a queer stone femme). he does not think he is very physically attractive, but i disagree wholeheartedly. he makes me melt. and i'm lucky.

i'm attracted to people of any gender. i tend to be especially attracted to people who id as butch (whether female, ftm, mtf, or other). but i'm also attracted to mtfs, people who identify as other genders, femmes, straight cisguys, etc.

[Quintease]

My hubbie's straight and 100% looks, sounds and smells a man. We had a few problems in the beginning. He resented me continuing to ID as a lesbian, while the heterosexuals in his life insisted I should call myself bisexual or straight in order to validate his gender *rolls eyes*

It was only when I pointed out how misogynistic that was, being expected to 'change' my sexual orientation in order to please my man, (it's not like changing your name or style of dress, but an integral part of me that I was born with), then he realised how ridiculous that was. A transguy is like everyone else, if he needs to change his partner in order to be happy, then he has problems and will probably never be happy.

[G Snap!]

(whew, it took me a little to read through this thread. And I didn't read the "expectations" thread either...)

I can't relate what attracts me to ftm's because I have been with just biomales until I started seeing @ and I never considered ftm until I met him. I never knew any until I met @ and I honestly don't know if I will date others as I am in this relationship for the long run.

You see, I love everything about him. The way he looks, smells, feels, tastes, and (did I get all the senses?) sounds (and his voice is a whole 'nuther story.)
I absolutely love love love living with him, he is everything I love about men without the "unpleasantries" (I am not listing those.) And he is as good of a cook as he is good looking. I am spoiled!

I don't think of him being any more sensitive, as I know a few butches who are outright d*cks (pardon my term) and are less sensitive than some bio males I know. Sensitivity comes with being a good communicator and listener and this is a learned skill, through upbringing or classes.
I (like to think) as a ftm progresses in their transformation and become settled in the body they once hated, they learn to love themselves and are a happier person and are more receptive to listen to others. They are (perhaps) better men because they try to be good men and are secure in/with their manhood. The only insult I ever find (to him) is anyone assuming I am a lesbian because I am with him, as it means they do not see him as a man.

I don't have any expectations of him because he was once female. I find having expectations just sets ones self up for disappointment. But he is forgiving during those times of the month when I feel like poo. Bio guys have no idea what it is like.

[Nadeest]

One of the chatrooms/forums that I hung out in, when I first started transitioning was primarily for transgendered people, especially for those that were considering transition. There I met an ftm that I later ended up dating. He was the first person that I had dated, since I had started transition.
He was so sweet and caring towards me, that I've had a soft spot for transmen since then. For one thing, I tend to feel a lot safer with them, then I do with cis-males. Also, they have some understanding of the stuff that I've tended to go through, during transition.
I would also date a transwoman for that same reason, if any asked me out.

[Kent]

Just a little bump...

[Ginger]

It's funny that I finally noticed this thread, while I'm watching Love Actually on cable.

It came out in 2003 and I was in love with a transguy then.

I spent the weekend with him before Christmas, and we went to this movie together.

Honestly, one thing I loved about dating him, I guess it makes me sound like a jerk, was the privilege it suddenly restored in my life.

I'm blond and smallish and he's tall and dark and we made a very striking couple. Het couples, especially attractive het couples—attractive according to the most conventional of standards—are treated very, very well in restaurants and bars.

We were always shown to a great table, and strangers told us how nice we looked as a couple.

Someday, I want the world to change, and I want butch-femme, butch-butch, femme-femme, old-young, black-white and non-conventionally attractive couples to be shown the best table in the house, and fawned over, and appreciated.

It's already happening, in some places. I've found some of those places. I want to find more of them.

[Tony]

Originally Posted by IslandScout

It's funny that I finally noticed this thread, while I'm watching Love Actually on cable.

It came out in 2003 and I was in love with a transguy then.

I spent the weekend with him before Christmas, and we went to this movie together.

Honestly, one thing I loved about dating him, I guess it makes me sound like a jerk, was the privilege it suddenly restored in my life.

I'm blond and smallish and he's tall and dark and we made a very striking couple. Het couples, especially attractive het couples—attractive according to the most conventional of standards—are treated very, very well in restaurants and bars.

We were always shown to a great table, and strangers told us how nice we looked as a couple.

Someday, I want the world to change, and I want butch-femme, butch-butch, femme-femme, old-young, black-white and non-conventionally attractive couples to be shown the best table in the house, and fawned over, and appreciated.

It's already happening, in some places. I've found some of those places. I want to find more of them.

Island, you do not sound like a jerk & you should never apologize for your feelings. They are truly the only things we own outright that can NEVER be taken from us. I've read thru a lot of the threads & ran into something talking about White Male Privelage. I almost hesitate to voice my opinion here, but it is what it is. I have lived & been accepted as a man for over 30 years. I'm dark haired (Sicilian) & have a serious addiction to blondes. Lol. I never knew what this WMP was as I've lived as a straight man & been with straight women. I also feel no guilt at whatever WMP has afforded me thruout my life. But I have to say, you ending comments about other couples; I never gave that much thought & now I too hope that EVERY couple can enjoy that privelage. Being called a striking couple. Best seat in the house. Treated as all humans should be treated.
Thank you, Island for this response. You promoted a thought process I hadn't had. I appreciate that.

[Quintease]

Originally Posted by IslandScout

Honestly, one thing I loved about dating him, I guess it makes me sound like a jerk, was the privilege it suddenly restored in my life.

I'm blond and smallish and he's tall and dark and we made a very striking couple. Het couples, especially attractive het couples—attractive according to the most conventional of standards—are treated very, very well in restaurants and bars.

We were always shown to a great table, and strangers told us how nice we looked as a couple.

Someday, I want the world to change, and I want butch-femme, butch-butch, femme-femme, old-young, black-white and non-conventionally attractive couples to be shown the best table in the house, and fawned over, and appreciated.

Yes, I can relate. My husband and I look really good together, everyone comments on it. Everywhere we go we get smiles and compliments.

In the beginning I hated it. I felt like society was rewarding me for doing the right thing and dating a man.

Then a few things happened. I suddenly discovered how awful and insidious transphobia can be. I realised how hard it is to keep your mouth shut when people, who see you as a straight couple, let you in on their homophobia. I realise how scary and fragile living 'stealth' can be.

A bit of perspective reminded me that we are indeed still part of the wider queer society and nothing will ever take that away. Nothing except equality for all.