Important things I learned from past relationships - Page 4

yotlyolqualli · 06-11-2012, 01:37 AM

I've learned

...to never give my all to someone who only gives part of themself.
...to learn that the most important relationship I can have with a human being, is the one I have with myself.
...to let go and let God.
...that sometimes my all is not enough.
...that love, not returned, will slowly fade and die.
...that if I have to change who I am, in order to please the one I love, then I am not loving the right one.
...that if the person I love has to change herself to please me, then I am with the wrong one and so is she.
...that if I have to "tiptoe" through life in order to "not rock the boat" I am paddling a sinking canoe.
...that words can be empty and actions speak louder than words.
...that my lie detector is broke.
...that no one can make me happy besides myself and happiness is often fleeting.
...that giving your all to someone who only knows how to take, will drain you dry.

Finally, I've learned that each and every person who touches my life, no matter good or bad, changes who I am and influences who I will become. We never stop learning, never stop growing and there is always room for improvement. I am learning to always remember that I am worthy to be loved as deeply and as intensely as I love. I will never again, settle for anything less.

Girl Friday · 06-12-2012, 02:19 PM

I've learned that I'm still in love no matter what. No amount of hurt or betrayal can take it away. And that sometimes, no matter how hard you think you're trying, nothing you do will matter if you're not communicating.

thedivahrrrself · 06-12-2012, 02:30 PM

I've learned that RuPaul is right, you really do have to love yourself first.

Apocalipstic · 06-12-2012, 02:47 PM

I've learned that just because something looks good on paper, does not mean it will work in real life.

Kind of like Communism.

Bella~Vita · 06-12-2012, 02:48 PM

Not to get into one !

T D · 06-12-2012, 03:02 PM

The list is MUCH too long to even begin

Tommi · 06-12-2012, 03:03 PM

No matter how long ago, no matter how far apart, no matter how big the divide, there is something to be said about being kind to one another then and now.

Well, almost always.

christeymg · 06-25-2012, 07:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BullDog

That it is worth the risk leaving a comfortable, long term relationship to go after what you truly need and want (even if it does take more than 10 years to find it)

That it is far better to be single than to be in a bad relationship.

Spending that time being single gives you the opportunity to focus on yourself and gain confidence that you really are not desperate and you will wait for the right relationship to come along and if it doesn't you will be just fine.

That all the mistakes and stumbles along the way do help prepare you for the right relationship and helps you appreciate it even more.

I couldn't have said it any better. That's where I am right now except I'm still waiting to meet the one I need and want. Right now I'm happy to just be me and really figure out what and who that is.

Prudence · 06-25-2012, 09:21 PM

I have learned that apparently, I haven"t learned.

aldebaran · 06-25-2012, 09:29 PM

not to believe all i see on the surface. and not to believe anything that she says, forever after i will have to be shown.

Scuba · 06-25-2012, 10:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BullDog

That it is worth the risk leaving a comfortable, long term relationship to go after what you truly need and want (even if it does take more than 10 years to find it)

That it is far better to be single than to be in a bad relationship.

Spending that time being single gives you the opportunity to focus on yourself and gain confidence that you really are not desperate and you will wait for the right relationship to come along and if it doesn't you will be just fine.

That all the mistakes and stumbles along the way do help prepare you for the right relationship and helps you appreciate it even more.

WORD!! AND WORD!!

lilapache · 06-26-2012, 11:55 AM

if your gut tells you something ain't right.... turn around and walk away...

Sachita · 06-26-2012, 12:17 PM

wow I've learned a whole lot. The most important is I learned who I am and what I don't want in a relationship. My friends and family tell me to just go for it, go meet someone, etc etc. But I already know what I'm looking for and in 10 minutes of conversation I'll pick up on that.

I've learned to be good to myself and not expect others to give me what I need. It's been a hard road coming to terms with the ending of a relationship dream and the truth is I might not ever get over it.

I've learned that its pointless to enrage in a power struggle. If the connection doesnt flow naturally then its best to walk away.

Beloved · 06-26-2012, 12:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sachita

If the connection doesnt flow naturally then its best to walk away.

I struggle with this or some version of it. I try and try and try probably far longer than I should because relationships take work. I guess there needs to be some balance but I don't know exactly what that is.

SleepyButch · 06-26-2012, 12:37 PM

I've learned that you should not wait for her to break up with you.. it can take a very long time.

Dude · 06-26-2012, 12:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ruby_woo

Don't forget to remain your own person and still do your own thing. Don't get lost in somebody else, because you'll be really lost when it's over.

I love that you said this.
I have two sisters in long term marriages and I have to say I never
want a long term relationship of mine to resemble what they have.
They are both completely dependant on their husbands for everything.
The only thing they do "without" their husbands is go to work
or the store.
No outside friends , no outside activities ever feels so smothering to me.
A car ride to visit me "alone" (45 min drive) is way too scarey for either of them to even consider, let alone attempt.

It's like they have had their sense of adventure completely sucked out
of them. I really dont get it.

Ebon · 06-26-2012, 01:18 PM

Like Sachita said I've learned a lot and know more about what I don't want.

GreeneyedMe · 06-26-2012, 02:08 PM

I have learned NOT to trust the words I Love You. Don't SAY it, SHOW me.

~ocean · 06-26-2012, 03:11 PM

theres the upside of all this as well, u learn form what u liked and still do , u now know urself..better

~~ the great memories that u want and should hold on too !~~ funny thing about life ~ it;s for living

~~

Mike · 06-26-2012, 03:26 PM

when its over, its over move on

06-11-2012, 01:37 AM	#61
yotlyolqualli Member How Do You Identify?: submissive femme Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: moving forward and not looking back... anything is possible! Join Date: May 2012 Location: Pennsylvania Posts: 242 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,206 Thanked 1,272 Times in 184 Posts Rep Power: 21357560	I've learned ...to never give my all to someone who only gives part of themself. ...to learn that the most important relationship I can have with a human being, is the one I have with myself. ...to let go and let God. ...that sometimes my all is not enough. ...that love, not returned, will slowly fade and die. ...that if I have to change who I am, in order to please the one I love, then I am not loving the right one. ...that if the person I love has to change herself to please me, then I am with the wrong one and so is she. ...that if I have to "tiptoe" through life in order to "not rock the boat" I am paddling a sinking canoe. ...that words can be empty and actions speak louder than words. ...that my lie detector is broke. ...that no one can make me happy besides myself and happiness is often fleeting. ...that giving your all to someone who only knows how to take, will drain you dry. Finally, I've learned that each and every person who touches my life, no matter good or bad, changes who I am and influences who I will become. We never stop learning, never stop growing and there is always room for improvement. I am learning to always remember that I am worthy to be loved as deeply and as intensely as I love. I will never again, settle for anything less. __________________ ~Love is a verb~

06-12-2012, 02:30 PM	#63
thedivahrrrself Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Queer Sapiosexual Femme Relationship Status: Mrs. Grumpy Cat Tournaments Won: 4 Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: 8,660 feet high in the Andes Posts: 2,640 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 10,519 Thanked 11,658 Times in 2,292 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	I've learned that RuPaul is right, you really do have to love yourself first. __________________ Small business owners around the world use microfinance to help expand their businesses and provide for their families. You can help! Click here to learn about Kiva.

06-12-2012, 02:47 PM	#64
Apocalipstic Pink Confection How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She, Her, Ma'am Relationship Status: Dating Myself Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Nashville Posts: 4,266 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 17,195 Thanked 11,362 Times in 2,838 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	I've learned that just because something looks good on paper, does not mean it will work in real life. Kind of like Communism. __________________

06-12-2012, 02:48 PM	#65
Bella~Vita Member How Do You Identify?: femme Preferred Pronoun?: she Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: where salt is used for Margaritas not Snow Posts: 891 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,049 Thanked 1,322 Times in 443 Posts Rep Power: 7157596	Not to get into one ! __________________ ~ I believe that pleasing everyone is impossible..... but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake ~

06-12-2012, 03:02 PM	#66
T D Member How Do You Identify?: Person of the trans variety Preferred Pronoun?: He, Sir, Bro, TD, Stevin Relationship Status: On occasion Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: SF Bay Area Posts: 1,165 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,428 Thanked 1,125 Times in 311 Posts Rep Power: 3570339	The list is MUCH too long to even begin __________________ “Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.”

06-12-2012, 02:19 PM	#62
Girl Friday Member How Do You Identify?: Maryanne (with a little bit of The Professor and some Ginger thrown in) Preferred Pronoun?: she/her Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: Uncharted desert isle Posts: 227 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 766 Thanked 775 Times in 140 Posts Rep Power: 8696405	I've learned that I'm still in love no matter what. No amount of hurt or betrayal can take it away. And that sometimes, no matter how hard you think you're trying, nothing you do will matter if you're not communicating.

06-12-2012, 03:03 PM	#67
Tommi Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Usually "Hello" Relationship Status: Married and Bound to Tommi's kaijira (Ts_kaijira ) Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Suthun.... California that is. Across the ridge from Laguna Beach. Posts: 8,151 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 13,621 Thanked 21,337 Times in 5,969 Posts Rep Power: 21474860	No matter how long ago, no matter how far apart, no matter how big the divide, there is something to be said about being kind to one another then and now. Well, almost always.

06-25-2012, 09:21 PM	#69
Prudence Member How Do You Identify?: "congratulations, it's a girl" Preferred Pronoun?: Woman Relationship Status: single Join Date: Nov 2011 Location: Second star to the right, and straight on till morning. Posts: 509 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,333 Thanked 1,178 Times in 363 Posts Rep Power: 9187054	I have learned that apparently, I haven"t learned.

06-25-2012, 09:29 PM	#70
aldebaran Junior Member How Do You Identify?: trans dude Preferred Pronoun?: he, him, uncle, brother, amigo, paisano Relationship Status: confirmed batchelor Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: Orlando Posts: 26 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 19 Thanked 18 Times in 10 Posts Rep Power: 530169	not to believe all i see on the surface. and not to believe anything that she says, forever after i will have to be shown. __________________ "I do not aim with my hand; he who aims with his hand has forgotten the face of his father. I aim with my eye." -Stephen King (Roland Deschain/The Gunslinger)

06-26-2012, 11:55 AM	#72
lilapache Member How Do You Identify?: DONE Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: forever away Posts: 1,374 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 5,015 Thanked 3,880 Times in 1,025 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	if your gut tells you something ain't right.... turn around and walk away... __________________ Don't get mad when a girl cares too much. Worry when they start to not give a fuck.

06-26-2012, 12:17 PM	#73
Sachita Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Alpha Femme Preferred Pronoun?: Goddess Relationship Status: Completely in love Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Southern Virginia Posts: 3,225 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,564 Thanked 8,993 Times in 2,247 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	wow I've learned a whole lot. The most important is I learned who I am and what I don't want in a relationship. My friends and family tell me to just go for it, go meet someone, etc etc. But I already know what I'm looking for and in 10 minutes of conversation I'll pick up on that. I've learned to be good to myself and not expect others to give me what I need. It's been a hard road coming to terms with the ending of a relationship dream and the truth is I might not ever get over it. I've learned that its pointless to enrage in a power struggle. If the connection doesnt flow naturally then its best to walk away. __________________ You either like me or you don't. It took me Twenty-something years to learn how to love myself, I don't have that kinda time to convince somebody else. ~ Daniel Franzese

06-26-2012, 12:37 PM	#75
SleepyButch Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Dude Preferred Pronoun?: He, Him Relationship Status: Taken Join Date: Jun 2012 Location: Hidden Valley Ranch Posts: 3,511 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 6,220 Thanked 11,248 Times in 2,754 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	I've learned that you should not wait for her to break up with you.. it can take a very long time.

06-26-2012, 01:18 PM	#77
Ebon Senior Member How Do You Identify?: With my souls eyes. Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: lol Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Here Posts: 3,476 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 10,524 Thanked 11,142 Times in 2,757 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	Like Sachita said I've learned a lot and know more about what I don't want. __________________ In Lak'ech Ala K'in I'm a Soul Rebel http://wannabereverend.wordpress.com/ Spirituality is not a belief system or ideology, it is the surrender of one's ego to the infinite wisdom and knowledge that is the universe.

06-26-2012, 02:08 PM	#78
GreeneyedMe Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: Sweet Femme ones Relationship Status: Peeking around the corner... Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: Rochester, NY Posts: 874 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 6,380 Thanked 4,375 Times in 804 Posts Rep Power: 21474850	I have learned NOT to trust the words I Love You. Don't SAY it, SHOW me. __________________ "I do not exist to impress the world. I exist to live my life in a way that will make me happy." ~Richard Bach

06-26-2012, 03:11 PM	#79
~ocean Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: femme blows a kiss off my finger tips * Preferred Pronoun?: ~ hey girl ~ Relationship Status: ~ single & content ~ Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Massachusetts ~coastal Posts: 7,905 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 22,958 Thanked 16,045 Times in 4,728 Posts Rep Power: 21474859	theres the upside of all this as well, u learn form what u liked and still do , u now know urself..better ~~ the great memories that u want and should hold on too !~~ funny thing about life ~ it;s for living ~~

06-26-2012, 03:26 PM	#80
Mike In Loving Memory and Many Thanks Relationship Status: connected, emotionally and physically Join Date: Jan 2010 Posts: 511 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,188 Thanked 2,454 Times in 416 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	when its over, its over move on __________________ Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself. Harvey Fierstein