Too screwed up to be Loved?

[Electrocell]

Are you friends with any of your exes? Maybe you could ask them what they didn't like about you. Sometimes the hardest thing to do is to look in the mirror . Is it something I'm doing wrong or is it I'm getting with someone just for the companionship ? Just because you feel an attraction towards someone doesn't mean the two of you are good for each other. Been there done that. If they will point out to me where I am wrong about something in a nice way, I will go back and examine myself just to see if they are wrong or if I really do need to work or improve myself in that way. If I need to improve myself I really try too ----not always easy . We as humans hate having our bad habits pointed out to us. Just have to work on it. Good luck.

[CharmingButch25]

That's a very good idea thank you. I've asked a couple exes and they say my abandonment issues is what ruins things. I've been working on it for years I've switched therapist and im front with each person. They say they can handle it but everyone leaves or gives up. Im at a loss and just wondering if anyone else feels the same way

[Electrocell]

Originally Posted by CharmingButch25

That's a very good idea thank you. I've asked a couple exes and they say my abandonment issues is what ruins things. I've been working on it for years I've switched therapist and im front with each person. They say they can handle it but everyone leaves or gives up. Im at a loss and just wondering if anyone else feels the same way

So what you are saying is you are clingy? Guess trust comes into this also?

[The_Lady_Snow]

We all have issues some of us know how to keep them neatly in the overhead compartment area. If you're failing in the relationship area perhaps a long relationship break and work on your issues OR just casually date till your shit straightened up. Good luck finding what's going to be best for you.!

[BullDog]

I would start with getting rid of "Tired Of users and Liars" in your Relationship Status. That is negative thinking and won't help put you in a good space or attract a positive, healthy person into your life.

If I felt fucked up in some way, I personally would take a break and work on myself. The more healthy and confident you feel, the more likely you will attractive healthy, positive people into your life.

[CharmingButch25]

Thank you everyone for your feedback I appreciate it and will give some thoughts to your words.

[Novelafemme]

Just keep working on yourself, CharmingButch25. The more work you do, the more you'll have to offer when that special someone enters your life. But remember to do your work with your best interest in mind; not so you'll be perfect for someone else. That mentality will serve no other purpose then to backfire in your face.

And if you are only 25 then you have a lot of time. Or you could wait until your Saturn Return when your shit inevitably hits the fan whether you like it or not.

[Tcountry]

Somtimes it just takes a changing the way you think...Attitude
They didn't leave or give up ..they got right in there & gave it a fair shot. Sometimes things just don't match up.
What's meant to b will b & everything happens for a reason
Just make sure YOU are putting in the effort to be the best you that YOU can be.
The rest will stack up when it is time

*tip hat*

[CharmingButch25]

Thank you very much for everyone that has responed, Yes i have been commited to therapy, it has helped with some issues and problems, but when it comes to abandonment it seems as if I cant kick that one in the ass, Ive worked thru the trust issues,and the jealousy issues, its just the abandonement issues. I have thrown everything I have into relationships, I give everyone the benifit of the doubt, and maybe your right about not seeing it as they gave up and left,maybe most of them did try their best,

[CharmingButch25]

I think a lot of my issues stem from family also, no one can really handle them, but its family I cant exactly walk away from that, Ive had a string of bad relationships,but I am trying to work on myself right now so that when someone comes along I can offer them my full self, My therapist seems to think I need to walk away from my family but I cant

[Heavenleahangel]

Awww, {{{Charming}}}; Don't be so down on yourself. I think this is a very courageous question you are posting and for you to be asking for opinions/help. There are some very good responses here and while I was only a counselor for 6 years, I will say this: Don't give up! No one is perfect and while we all have our lil idiocyncrises (spelling?) we are all worthy of being loved.
I have always heard the definition of insanity was doing the same thing over and over again but expecting different outcomes. While no two potential partners are exactly the same and what works for one doesn't work for others, I feel the the key is communication and the willingness to be accountable for your own actions mixed with your own desire to allow yourself to be loved. Im sure there are many of us here (myself included) that won't mind lending an ear to allow you to vent and figure how to align your heart and mind.

[ruffryder]

Originally Posted by CharmingButch25

Sometimes its just not the right time for some I guess.

Originally Posted by CharmingButch25

I have gotten some great advice by posting this, and I do think that I have a lot of stuff to work on, so maybe its not that im too screwed up to be loved, its just I need some work before anyone could be ready to love me,

I think you got it! Lots of great advice here to help anyone. You are still young bro. Enjoy life. Make goals, be happy. Live for you! The right girl will come along when the time is right for you in your life and when you and her are both ready for that time. For now, date. You will figure out what works and what doesn't and what makes you happy. Run from red flags and embrace the great times and great people. In time ... You will get there and you will know. It won't feel like drama and work with no stress, worries, and doubts.

[CharmingButch25]

Yes I have truly gotten some amazing advice! I know I can be loved and I can love, my last relationship was just very damaging and has left me a wreck, I thought she was my soul mate and she probably is but we just aren't meant to work. She told me she loved me was in love with me than she took it back not once but twice, than she decided she was leaving me to go to Australia and would be gone a year, but I am realizing I can be loved when the time is right

[Toughy]

you can have more than one soul mate.....