Prince Charming? Pfft!

[fuzzypinkego]

Originally Posted by Hack

LOL

Fair enough. I think, though, you will reach a place in your life when you realize the plan is not grand nor important.

As I have aged, I have learned a few things, especially in the last few years. Life is, in general, an unpredictable mess, a journey during which sometimes your luggage is lost. Forgiveness is an art, and forgiving yourself is the hardest thing to do. The only thing I ever hope to walk away with -- from anything -- is my self-respect and maybe a lesson learned. And saying three little words -- "I am sorry" is a lot harder to say for most people than "I love you."

Ok, now it sounds like I am pontificating. I don't mean to. I am just speaking from the "me" place.

Jake

Well I appreciate your "me" place!

[Selenay]

I've kissed a few princes, and I've kissed a few frogs. . . From that, I've learned a few things.

First? Sometimes the princes aren't so charming. Sometimes they're crude and crass, sometimes they're frustrating and stubborn. Sometimes those princes start off charming and are just plain mean.

Sometimes the princes don't know any more about what that round thingy in the toilet is than I do, sometimes they can make a mean souffle. Sometimes those princes are royal pain in the asses.

Sometimes they can fix your car, sometimes they drive it into the mailbox a few times.

Sometimes that prince turns out to be a toad, and sometimes that toad you've been pouring your heart out to is the shiniest prince of them all.


But me?

I don't want the princes, 'cause I've found that the knights in rusty armor are more my speed.

[Allison W]

Originally Posted by Selenay

I don't want the princes, 'cause I've found that the knights in rusty armor are more my speed.

I had to un-lurk just to say that is a kinda hot mental image, but now, I have to ask what it means!

As far as my views on rescuers... There are, admittedly, a lot of times I wouldn't mind a rescuer, myself. (And I'm a bit of a fuck-up, so who knows--I might even end up keeping them interested.)

[Selenay]

Originally Posted by Allison W

I had to un-lurk just to say that is a kinda hot mental image, but now, I have to ask what it means!

It means that people with experience, the ones who have been through the battle and come out on the other side, with dented, rusty armor that I like. I don't like princes who sit up in their towers looking down, I like the people out there fighting the dragons, defending the whole kingdom.

Yes, they might come home a little singed, but if you don't swing your sword, you're never going to get the princess to kiss your boo-boos.

[fuzzypinkego]

Originally Posted by Selenay

It means that people with experience, the ones who have been through the battle and come out on the other side, with dented, rusty armor that I like. I don't like princes who sit up in their towers looking down, I like the people out there fighting the dragons, defending the whole kingdom.

Yes, they might come home a little singed, but if you don't swing your sword, you're never going to get the princess to kiss your boo-boos.

I love it!!

[Allison W]

Originally Posted by Selenay

It means that people with experience, the ones who have been through the battle and come out on the other side, with dented, rusty armor that I like. I don't like princes who sit up in their towers looking down, I like the people out there fighting the dragons, defending the whole kingdom.

Yes, they might come home a little singed, but if you don't swing your sword, you're never going to get the princess to kiss your boo-boos.

Ooh la la. Protectors excite me.

[Bit]

Fuzzy, why do you have to have the prince before you have the baby? If it seems like life is getting on without you--that's how that part of your post read to me--then maybe it would be worthwhile to explore whether you are okay being a single mom, and if you are, just going for it; because yanno, there is no guarantee that even your perfect partner will actually be able to stay in a relationship with you for the child's whole life. People come apart all the time, even those who believe they are soul-mates and those who believe they are perfect for each other.

I personally believe that making the decision to become a parent should be something a mother does by herself, for herself if she isn't already in a relationship... what I mean by that is that I believe a woman should only decide to get pregnant if she believes she is willing and capable of raising a child to adulthood by herself, of accepting sole responsibility for that child's life and financial support, and of acknowledging that anyone else who acts as a parent can never hold the ultimate responsibility--because when you come right down to it, she is the only one who can decide to get pregnant, yanno?

So what I believe is that it's your body and your life, and if a child belongs in it, if you are committed to being a mother, then why wait for a partner?

About finding someone who is compatible, it helps a lot to understand personality types. Once you learn to understand the different ways people process information and make decisions, you can also understand what goes wrong in so many relationships... it really IS communication more often than not.

http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/jtypes2.asp

[fuzzypinkego]

Originally Posted by Bit

Fuzzy, why do you have to have the prince before you have the baby? If it seems like life is getting on without you--that's how that part of your post read to me--then maybe it would be worthwhile to explore whether you are okay being a single mom, and if you are, just going for it; because yanno, there is no guarantee that even your perfect partner will actually be able to stay in a relationship with you for the child's whole life. People come apart all the time, even those who believe they are soul-mates and those who believe they are perfect for each other.

I personally believe that making the decision to become a parent should be something a mother does by herself, for herself if she isn't already in a relationship... what I mean by that is that I believe a woman should only decide to get pregnant if she believes she is willing and capable of raising a child to adulthood by herself, of accepting sole responsibility for that child's life and financial support, and of acknowledging that anyone else who acts as a parent can never hold the ultimate responsibility--because when you come right down to it, she is the only one who can decide to get pregnant, yanno?

So what I believe is that it's your body and your life, and if a child belongs in it, if you are committed to being a mother, then why wait for a partner?

About finding someone who is compatible, it helps a lot to understand personality types. Once you learn to understand the different ways people process information and make decisions, you can also understand what goes wrong in so many relationships... it really IS communication more often than not.

http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/jtypes2.asp

I guess I'm a bit old fashioned but I really want to be married before I have a child. I want to be the semi-stay-at-home-mom. My mom raised me at home and I want to do the same for my children.

As far as the personalities go, I;m an ENFP, The Idealist Champion, rare and only found in 2-3% of the population.

[Allison W]

Originally Posted by Bit

About finding someone who is compatible, it helps a lot to understand personality types. Once you learn to understand the different ways people process information and make decisions, you can also understand what goes wrong in so many relationships... it really IS communication more often than not.

http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/jtypes2.asp

Hrm. According to the dating-and-mating guides, I have a problem. I'm attracted to physical power/protectiveness and courage (characteristic of Artisans), decisive judgment (apparently Artisans are not Js), a lack of strong displays of emotion (characteristic of Rationals), reliable authoritarianism in the relationship (potentially characteristic of Guardians and conspicuously not of Artisans or Rationals), and an appreciation of defined, divided roles (Guardians again).

Perhaps I need a Guardian (masculine manifestation) with an Artisan (masculine manifestation) multiclass.

[always2late]

Originally Posted by Bit

Fuzzy, why do you have to have the prince before you have the baby? If it seems like life is getting on without you--that's how that part of your post read to me--then maybe it would be worthwhile to explore whether you are okay being a single mom, and if you are, just going for it; because yanno, there is no guarantee that even your perfect partner will actually be able to stay in a relationship with you for the child's whole life. People come apart all the time, even those who believe they are soul-mates and those who believe they are perfect for each other.

I personally believe that making the decision to become a parent should be something a mother does by herself, for herself if she isn't already in a relationship... what I mean by that is that I believe a woman should only decide to get pregnant if she believes she is willing and capable of raising a child to adulthood by herself, of accepting sole responsibility for that child's life and financial support, and of acknowledging that anyone else who acts as a parent can never hold the ultimate responsibility--because when you come right down to it, she is the only one who can decide to get pregnant, yanno?

So what I believe is that it's your body and your life, and if a child belongs in it, if you are committed to being a mother, then why wait for a partner?

About finding someone who is compatible, it helps a lot to understand personality types. Once you learn to understand the different ways people process information and make decisions, you can also understand what goes wrong in so many relationships... it really IS communication more often than not.

http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/jtypes2.asp

While I agree that a child can be had by a single parent, and that the only real decision about bearing a child comes from the woman actually bearing it....once the bearing is done, it is so much easier to RAISE a child with a partner! I am a single mom, I work full time and go to school. I am thankful that my son's father will watch him for me so I can do those other things, but when I come home, and its just me alone....well...it gets hard sometimes (more so when my son was an infant). I'm not saying it can't be done...or that its not worth every second...its just easier when there are two parents.

[Liquefaction]

The most important thing I have learned is you can not make anything happen. The more you push/try to make something happen, the harder it is to achieve.

[Isadora]

Prince Charming of Disney vein does not exist, therefore it is impossible to find. Humans tend to be full of contradictions, inconsistencies and are highly changeable. We are complex beings.

Goals are wonderful. Without them I would never have gotten my education, my career and live somewhere I love. I hope you have an adventurous journey and amiyesiam has a point in that it is your journey. Everyone else involved with it are travel companions. Some more intimate than others.

Personally, I believe more and more in fate. I really have no other explanation of how life can ummm re-arrange our goals. It just happens. Mostly cause we have no control over the feelings, choices and actions of others. We can ruminate, extol the virtues of life planning but truly the only thing you control is your own choices. I set goals and completed them but in that process I learned that life dances us into amazing places. I went from convent to leather and corsets. I went from virgin to sexually adventureous. Who woulda known?

So never ever give up hope for what you seek. I have more than I ever dreamed of having in my life. I am sure you will have the same!