Building a Culture of Empathy

[NorCalStud]

The idea that if we were to all express the emotions we feel at the time we feel them or as soon as we can at least acknowledge them...That we are ready and clear to feel empathy and create empathetic environments. We are born cooperative. We get hurt. We are not always supported to deal with pain. We walk through life with this pain. I think as we clear our own trauma; we become available.

[Metro]

Originally Posted by NCS

The idea that if we were to all express the emotions we feel at the time we feel them or as soon as we can at least acknowledge them...That we are ready and clear to feel empathy and create empathetic environments. We are born cooperative. We get hurt. We are not always supported to deal with pain. We walk through life with this pain. I think as we clear our own trauma; we become available.

NCS -- This is an interesting concept, and may I go out on a limb and guess that you pose it as an ideal?

It is my own experience that each individual processes feelings in their own unique way. For some there is a need or inclination to talk through emotions with another person as a way to come to their own understanding. Others have a need to process emotions in their own head first before expressing or speaking about their emotions (and a spectrum of communication styles in between).

As you say, people get hurt. For some this may influence their communication style and ability to process and communicate their feelings in the moment.

Well, that's my experience anyway.

[mariamma]

Originally Posted by Metro

NCS -- This is an interesting concept, and may I go out on a limb and guess that you pose it as an ideal?

It is my own experience that each individual processes feelings in their own unique way. For some there is a need or inclination to talk through emotions with another person as a way to come to their own understanding. Others have a need to process emotions in their own head first before expressing or speaking about their emotions (and a spectrum of communication styles in between).

As you say, people get hurt. For some this may influence their communication style and ability to process and communicate their feelings in the moment.

Well, that's my experience anyway.

Thanks for sharing Metro. I like what you said about processing emotions. It's my experience as well but I believe you wrote it better than I could have.

[NorCalStud]

Yes interesting words from you. It is idealistic. I am an idealist and am currently correcting how I live my ideals....for instance....living without judging myself and others.

We DO process our feelings differently. Here are three ideal ways we can clear our pain efficiently and with love :
I call it hang out therapy...any place or person where and with whom you feel safe and feel is a safe place to express emotion you know you have buried. That someone agrees to pay complete attention with loving regard for your anger, laughter, tears whatever....They hear you and decide not to get into their own stuff at that time. Being heard lovingly goes a long way ...
I believe if we make every lil thing we do a ceremony that that is another way to live life and that in that contradiction of oh say, capitalism and patriarchy for instance ,we resist the pain and in that resistance we survive from that "way" and in surviving we Create and in creating ...we Heal.

Another way is about a certain type of hypnotherapy I took as a class at Heartwood College...dealing with inner child work etc where it uses transformative and agreed upon guidance to....take this pain and turn it to gold...Alchemical Hypnotherapy.

Ultimately I am way way anti One wayism. I believe in the concept of Widening the Circle...never leaving anyone and their ideals outside...unleaa they are evil. I stand open and ready to receive knowledge and love and I am humbled with what I have learned.

[mariamma]

The hang out therapy....it's mostly what I do with shades of people who are trying to pass over. It is a most powerful healing. It's why many 'confess' to me and many others in the world. To be heard and understood. Many do not get it in life.

It does take empathic communication. A deep listening with all the senses and not really replying. The worst thing one can do in moments like that is derail the story with questions at the wrong place. Listening with love is probably the most important aspect.

Thanks for sharing your experience NCS

Originally Posted by NCS

Yes interesting words from you. It is idealistic. I am an idealist and am currently correcting how I live my ideals....for instance....living without judging myself and others.

We DO process our feelings differently. Here are three ideal ways we can clear our pain efficiently and with love :
I call it hang out therapy...any place or person where and with whom you feel safe and feel is a safe place to express emotion you know you have buried. That someone agrees to pay complete attention with loving regard for your anger, laughter, tears whatever....They hear you and decide not to get into their own stuff at that time. Being heard lovingly goes a long way ...
I believe if we make every lil thing we do a ceremony that that is another way to live life and that in that contradiction of oh say, capitalism and patriarchy for instance ,we resist the pain and in that resistance we survive from that "way" and in surviving we Create and in creating ...we Heal.

Another way is about a certain type of hypnotherapy I took as a class at Heartwood College...dealing with inner child work etc where it uses transformative and agreed upon guidance to....take this pain and turn it to gold...Alchemical Hypnotherapy.

Ultimately I am way way anti One wayism. I believe in the concept of Widening the Circle...never leaving anyone and their ideals outside...unleaa they are evil. I stand open and ready to receive knowledge and love and I am humbled with what I have learned.

[mariamma]

[nomedia="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CcbHRhgO8yg&feature=em-uploademail"]Stanley Coren & Edwin Rutsch: How to Build a Culture of Empathy with Dogs - YouTube[/nomedia]
The catalyst for this thread is this foundation Building a Culture of Empathy. Dogs are beings with high amounts of oxytocin and often sense things many humans ignore. I am a bitch at heart and love the beautiful connection one can have with dogs.

[mariamma]

Another article discussing the effects of listening.
http://www.sciencewa.net.au/topics/h...older-patients

[mariamma]

A quote from a nice article that discusses oxytocin in a society or nation.

One issue that began Zak’s work in this new field was research in the late 1990s that found an unexplored connection between trust and national prosperity. Data showed that high trust exists in countries that are, by and large, rich or fast growing. Countries in which trust is high have effective governments, says Zak: "They have very tight social structures, people interact very nicely with each other, they don’t have a lot of divisions." A 2007 study by the Pew Research Center found 45% of Americans said they trust each other—a large percentage compared to many other countries, which hover in the single percentage points.

Linking the data to the discovery of how oxytocin-led trust cycles can harness or hurt economic transactions toward prosperity, Zak shows how trust becomes the "great summary measure of a society in which things are working well." However, as he notes, lack of trust is also a measure of to what degree things are broken.

[mariamma]

Originally Posted by NCS

The idea that if we were to all express the emotions we feel at the time we feel them or as soon as we can at least acknowledge them...That we are ready and clear to feel empathy and create empathetic environments. We are born cooperative. We get hurt. We are not always supported to deal with pain. We walk through life with this pain. I think as we clear our own trauma; we become available.

I'm not understanding what you mean. Can you please clarify?
As Nomad inferred, we CAN express an emotion but just because we have a feeling, we don't have to act upon it. It's much harder with emotions that are born of dopamine (ask a schizophrenic or addict) but it's possible.