Too screwed up to be Loved?

[puddin']

i've had a love-hate relationship wit' therapy fo' mos' o' mah adult life. yet, it's been mah savin' grace.

i now realize i'm fucked up enough to try! yes, i did jus' say dat. as i used to think i was too fucked up to even give it a go.

i have found i'm lovable despite my fuckedupedness.

and dat is a relief beyond b'lief....

[Leigh]

Originally Posted by Strappie

Hi CB,

I've been taught that; Negativity brings bad things and Positive things bring good. So by saying you are fucked up and will never get past it. Then in my eyes you will never get out of it till you think positive.

You say that nobody gives YOU and chance.. perhaps it's you that needs to give yourself a chance? Living in fear of the future is something that a lot of people do, I have done it. It's never easy saying that you are the one that brings things on yourself. It's always easier to say it's the other person, specially if it always happens. That's called a pattern, a pattern you must break to move forward to find that person you will spend the rest of your life with.

If you think negative you will have negative things happen. This is proven. If people are positive, positive things happen. It's time to dig deep and deal with your past to move to the future!

I need to listen to this advice also; thanks for posting it Strappieeeeeeeeeeeeee

Originally Posted by Bard

I was in the place where you are just a few years ago.. I have learned that you have to like who you are before you can really love I had to respect who I was not be willing to change to become what someone else wanted me to be.. to realize that there was a woman who loved me for me and she was real and gave me a love that is real and forever she is my diamond not some cheap imitation.. she loved me for me not how I looked or what I could give her she stuck by me as I delt with my baggage and my scars she stayed even when the ghost of relationship past haunted me and made me feel I was not worth her .. you know what I am worth her love .. you have to love you and see that YOU ARE worth it

Wow do I EVER know how you feel there bro; I was in that place even just a few months ago. Its taken me, literally, years of trying to get over being bullied during high school and being put down by my father to get to a place where I know I am worthy of being loved as opposed to believing I could never be loved. I still have a long way to go, but I know now that I am closer than ever before to having the exact same mindset ~ staying positive is having good effects, so I keep plugging forward and its worth it in the long run!

Originally Posted by Bleu

If you want a blessed life, it is paramount to bless yourself with the positivity you deserve within each moment.

I just wanted to quote this part of your post Bleu because its very true; if we want good things to happen in our lives we have to remain positive no matter how difficult it seems.

Originally Posted by pamcat

I have to agree that a positive mind and outlook is the key to making things happen, with you in control. After my a huge upset in my now defunct relationship, I beat myself up pretty badly and allowed myself to be cloaked in negativity and black thoughts - I blamed myself for allowing things to happen. I eventually took advice and saw someone who has helped me redefine the circumstances, and shake off the self-doubt and to identify the type of personality I was drawn to. I'm aware now that I tended to 'save' people, to meet my own needs, but this was only ever going to be destructive. I like who I have become, and I'm positive about my ability and what I can bring to a relationship and friendship. Life is good, and I'm good to myself. It's not easy at first, but to think positively leads you in a whole new direction and to new openings.

“You are Braver than you Believe, Smarter than you Seem, and Stronger than you Think.”
Winnie the Pooh -

This is just a wonderful overall post pam, and extra points for the quote cuz I love Winnie the Pooh

Originally Posted by puddin'

i've had a love-hate relationship wit' therapy fo' mos' o' mah adult life. yet, it's been mah savin' grace.

i now realize i'm fucked up enough to try! yes, i did jus' say dat. as i used to think i was too fucked up to even give it a go.

i have found i'm lovable despite my fuckedupedness.

and dat is a relief beyond b'lief....

For a lack of a better way to put this, i think we are all "fucked up" in our own way; we all have baggage that we carry and alot of the time we think it makes us unloveable or undesireable. That's of course not the case at all, but I've noticed that often it is engraved into our minds by others around us (friends, family etc) that because of our past or said baggage we will never find someone to love us but that's not true.

I'm glad this thread is here

[WintergreenGem]

For a lack of a better way to put this, i think we are all "fucked up" in our own way; we all have baggage that we carry and alot of the time we think it makes us unloveable or undesireable. That's of course not the case at all, but I've noticed that often it is engraved into our minds by others around us (friends, family etc) that because of our past or said baggage we will never find someone to love us but that's not true.

I'm glad this thread is here

I agree with this. I have learned that it is how we handle or let our baggage control us that makes the difference.

[CharmingButch25]

I am glad that by me posting this thread about something I honestly felt that it has been helping others, I do belive that we all have some form of fuck upness and baggage, but when the time is right there will be a person come along and I truly belive everything will just fall into place, The past few days have been really hard on me, dealing with a lot of personal bs but my friends here at the planet have really kept me going with positive thoughts, thanks everyone for being you and thank you to everyone responding to this thread, it really does help

[Leigh]

Originally Posted by GrahamsGirl

I agree with this. I have learned that it is how we handle or let our baggage control us that makes the difference.

Exactly, I agree with you 100%

Originally Posted by CharmingButch25

I am glad that by me posting this thread about something I honestly felt that it has been helping others, I do belive that we all have some form of fuck upness and baggage, but when the time is right there will be a person come along and I truly belive everything will just fall into place, The past few days have been really hard on me, dealing with a lot of personal bs but my friends here at the planet have really kept me going with positive thoughts, thanks everyone for being you and thank you to everyone responding to this thread, it really does help

I can see how this thread is helping alot of people, and it certainly has helped me as I've said before so thank you for creating this CB *hugs*

[QueenofSmirks]

Originally Posted by Leigh

For a lack of a better way to put this, i think we are all "fucked up" in our own way; we all have baggage that we carry and alot of the time we think it makes us unloveable or undesireable. That's of course not the case at all, but I've noticed that often it is engraved into our minds by others around us (friends, family etc) that because of our past or said baggage we will never find someone to love us but that's not true.

I don't think it's true that we can't find someone to love us because of our baggage. I think people fall in love all the time, unaware of the other person's baggage. I do not, however, think we should expect others to put up with bullshit caused by our baggage. It's ours to own, deal with, and control. This isn't to say that we should be perfect, but loving someone doesn't equate to putting up with destructive behaviors. If someone's baggage is so much that it's affected every relationship they've ever been in, then they should take time out of relationships and work on their issues until they can function in a relationship that isn't controlled by those issues. In my opinion, it's irresponsible to do otherwise.

[CharmingButch25]

Thank you all very much again I cant say it enough, all of your words and thoughts have really helped, life kind if took a rough turn and I had a very bad day when I wrote this. They also had me on a medicine for my health called prednisone and its also known to mess with someone's mind. I now realize that it was silly to think that I or anyone is too screwed up to love. I know I just like everyone else with baggage is not unloveable. I've had bad stuff happen but who hadnt there are people a lot worse than me. Yes I am sick and who knows what the future holds but I know that no matter what I can and am capable of loving and being loved, lately I have come across a few beautiful women but they just like me have baggage and one in particular accused me of being depressed just so didn't have to talk to me she created and made up stuff because of her own issues, but I just keep being friends with anyone and I myself know that no matter how crazy or screwed up someone is I won't give up on them. Thanks again to everyone who read and responded and I am always around just send me a pm if you nerd a friend