Too screwed up to be Loved?

[4everlonelyfemme]

Well, I am an ugly femme so you might not appreciate my opinion but...

Noone has ever so much as wanted to flirt with me in a bar or buy me a drink so...

I would take anything I can get, but that seems to be nothing and nobody. So it's not a matter of being screwed up, it's all about your standards etc...Like if you're superficial of course you're not going to find true love.

Really wheneever I see stuff like from guys or butch lesbians about oh am I ever going to find someone the only thing I can think of is, this person would reject MY love in 5 seconds so... Can't take it seriously.

[Anomaly]

Sometimes I know the feeling. I've had a couple serious realtionships go sour, and it seems to always leave me wondering what's wrong with me. It's only years later when I'm looking back, remembering the new terms I learned, like "emotional abuse," and "sexual discrepency," where I can have some peace and know that I'm not unlovable, it just wasn't the relationship for me. Like I'll look at my ex from 10 years ago, and she's a character and really funny with her goofy temper and all the off-the-wall stuff she says, but I can't believe I ever beat myself up over her opinions.
She cray.

[Ginger]

Originally Posted by 4everlonelyfemme

Well, I am an ugly femme so you might not appreciate my opinion but...

Noone has ever so much as wanted to flirt with me in a bar or buy me a drink so...

I would take anything I can get, but that seems to be nothing and nobody. So it's not a matter of being screwed up, it's all about your standards etc...Like if you're superficial of course you're not going to find true love.

Really wheneever I see stuff like from guys or butch lesbians about oh am I ever going to find someone the only thing I can think of is, this person would reject MY love in 5 seconds so... Can't take it seriously.

Hi, 4everlonelyfemme.

I was thinking about your post. I wanted to tell you, for what it's worth, that I've always noticed that people's level of attractiveness (based on whatever cultural standard you hold), seems to have no correlation at all to whether or not they're in a relationship, or in a good relationship, for that matter.

I look around at the people I know in couples, and some are movie-star gorgeous; others, more unique looking. I think it has more to do with their personalities, their access to a community, dumb luck, etc.

Just thought I would share that with you.

Scout

[Glenn]

Originally Posted by 4everlonelyfemme

d take anything I can get, but that seems to be nothing and nobody. So it's not a matter of being screwed up, it's all about your standards etc...Like if you're superficial of course you're not going to find true love.

Really wheneever I see stuff like from guys or butch lesbians about oh am I ever going to find someone the only thing I can think of is, this person would reject MY love in 5 seconds so... Can't take it seriously.

So when you see other couples together you feel like strangling them right? Lol. Don't be so selfish and spoiled, and blame them! It's not their fault if you don't get your way while looking in your " delusional ugly mirror." You really are not ugly you know. And do not settle for whatever you can get either!
When I was an 18 year old butch, and young like you, I was delusional too, thinking the opposite of ugly. I thought I was such a good-looking, white-knight, (but in reality, I was really conceited and co-dependent, who thought I knew everything.) So , when I met a damsel in distress like you, I tried to help her. (and deep down, we both felt unworthy, but tried to save each other anyway) so she'd love me forever and not be lonely anymore. And because of our co-dependency needs, we trauma bonded, and complained about the world together, and became crazy together and dysfunctionally in/compatible together. and on and on it went... Like that song by Eminem, Love The Way You Lie.- quote "you're the same as me."

[Sweet Bliss]

Originally Posted by 4everlonelyfemme

Well, I am an ugly femme so you might not appreciate my opinion but...

Noone has ever so much as wanted to flirt with me in a bar or buy me a drink so...

I would take anything I can get, but that seems to be nothing and nobody. So it's not a matter of being screwed up, it's all about your standards etc...Like if you're superficial of course you're not going to find true love.

Really wheneever I see stuff like from guys or butch lesbians about oh am I ever going to find someone the only thing I can think of is, this person would reject MY love in 5 seconds so... Can't take it seriously.

Your thoughts create your reality. So take a hard look at them. Being young and easily influenced by the media and your peers is going to be difficult to deal with if you don't develope a strong inner core.

I was a mess at your age. Now at 56 I know for a fact that I'm beautiful, funny, smart, quirky, loving, impossibly onery, cuter than hell, and irresistable. (except when i'm on my pity pot to my great embarrassment)

I am FEMME. Make no mistake, I love myself first because that's where love lives. (keep in mind this is a daily challange) Inside us. Love is not found outside of your self. (learned the hard way) Become the love you are looking for. Knowing love means you will recognize it when you come across it in others. (That's my belief)

Focus on giving to others, not receiving.

[Cid]

I used to think I was too screwed up to be loved and lost both a lover and really great friend. I didn't see what I had and kept her at arm's length.
One thing I learned was why I did that and what lesson I learned from that relationship.

1. It wasn't entirely my fault (best lesson to learn)
2. If you really care about someone, it's ok to put the walls down.
3. It's ok to be different, just make sure you fit in each other's world instead of
one trying to fit into the other's world.
4. Make sure the relationship is a two way street.
5. Self esteem is the most beautiful part of a woman.

[BstlMyhart]

Too screwed up to be loved? Yep! But that's ok...I love and respect myself

[Nadeest]

I don't think so, Bstl.

I always believed I was the 'original fucked up kid', however I've been loved by some really amazing women during in my life. Some of them are still there despite us no longer being together.

Ergo, ya can never be 'too' fucked up.

If you truly believe that you're 'too fucked up' can I suggest seeking counselling/therapy to work through this intensely negative mind set. Then you might be able to move forward and beyond your negative self-talk to allow others to love you.

[Talon]

No one...and I mean no one ...is too *screwed up* to be loved.

It is what we are designed for, as human beings.

[Ascot]

I think it can be really tough, starting to work on our stuff. If one is coming from a place of always focusing on it, whether from a "damn, I've got a lot of bad shit" or a "Oh, woe is me" position, it can no doubt seem insurmountable. Perhaps not on a conscious level, but I think there also exists a fear, or at least an awareness that if all of the crap goes away, it will, of a sort, create a void. That whole evil we know thing can be hard to release. If I don't have that on which to focus, what will I have? When something, even a grossly negative something, has been a touchstone for so long the letting go of it can be terrifying, particularly when it has become seemingly inextricable from one's sense of self. Of course the hope is that eventually the way will be cleared so light can reach the good. The psychic brambles will be mulched to provide ground cover, etc. and the healthy can begin to sprout.