Non-packing butches

[rustedrims]

Getting educated here.
I thought all Butches had to pack or strap on to be in "The Bois Club".
Hummm,maybe not.

[Leigh]

I know I spend alot of time in the butch c*ck thread, however that doesn't mean I have to be with someone who does - I accept my butch as they are, whether they pack or not

[Rockinonahigh]

When I first came out to the big world other than a fue friends I was told by nearly everyone that if I didnt pack or strap it on I would never really be any kind of a butch.With that in mind I bought whatever it took to fill the toy bag...I spent mucho deniro....wow that good stuff aint cheep.That's been a long time ago,and to tell the truth untill I became a bfp planiteer I never felt I could ever not have or need to strap or pack to intrest anyone in the community.It dosent bother me to do either one way or the other..there is another thing I got from being hear that is being called her isnt a black ball word,I can stull be a big old butch jaust the same.I learn something reading these post that its ok to relax and be me without haveing to fix in a box that i'm expexted to be in.

[BullDog]

Originally Posted by Rockinonahigh

When I first came out to the big world other than a fue friends I was told by nearly everyone that if I didnt pack or strap it on I would never really be any kind of a butch.With that in mind I bought whatever it took to fill the toy bag...I spent mucho deniro....wow that good stuff aint cheep.That's been a long time ago,and to tell the truth untill I became a bfp planiteer I never felt I could ever not have or need to strap or pack to intrest anyone in the community.It dosent bother me to do either one way or the other..there is another thing I got from being hear that is being called her isnt a black ball word,I can stull be a big old butch jaust the same.I learn something reading these post that its ok to relax and be me without haveing to fix in a box that i'm expexted to be in.

Yep just be yourself. How butch is presented online and how butches live out in the real world are often very different. Either way, there is no right or wrong way to be butch.

I pack very occasionally but never soft pack. I don't feel the need for it. My connection is always there whether I am packing or not.

[Rockinonahigh]

Originally Posted by June

Rockin' -- This right here that I bolded. Thank you for this. I hope others feel this way too now.

Being called her or she doesn't make anyone less than anyone else.

Thank you bunches June Finaly beleaveing this came late but better late than never.

[Mel C.]

Originally Posted by rustedrims

Getting educated here.
I thought all Butches had to pack or strap on to be in "The Bois Club".
Hummm,maybe not.

I have had the pleasure of spending time (in real life) with quite a few butches and only a few of them packed. It certainly wasn't an issue to them whether I packed or not, but the ones who did pack explained their rationale. I imagine more info is available from the packing thread.

I did pack for a few b-f gatherings, but never mainstream. I don't think I would pack again unless it was a turn-on for the femme. I don't mind packing, but it isn't something I need to do currently.

[lusciouskiwi]

I've never actually been with anyone who packs. My ex in San Diego used to think about it but never went shopping. And when I came out 20 years ago, I don't know that we knew much about it in New Zealand. Although, I'm sure there were plenty of butches who did think about it and tried doing it with socks etc.

[girl_dee]

Originally Posted by rustedrims

Getting educated here.
I thought all Butches had to pack or strap on to be in "The Bois Club".
Hummm,maybe not.

Definately NOT.

[girl_dee]

i don't care what anyone else does in their pants, that's their beeswax, but for me i have learned along the way that i prefer not to simulate hetero sex. i always thought that's what B-F was, being with a *male* ID'd butch and having heteroish sex. Now i know different. We have an allotment of toys which are great fun, but without engaging in hetero-like sex. Not sure if that makes sense to anyone.

i am so happy that others are seeing they don't lose their butch card for not packing and not being a *he*.. and that a femme is still a femme no matter what her butch has in their pants, or doesn't have.

[starryeyes]

Everyone has their thing and as long as everyone is having safe, happy consensual fun, let the good time roll!

No one should be judged, looked down upon, treated differently, looked at sideways for their kink or their self expression! Especially here. We already get that out there! This is our place to embrace, love and cherish our community of packers, non-packers, hys, shes, butches, femmes, whoever you are. It is you and you should be proud.

It hurts that people in our community feel like they are not "butch enough" for not packing, or not in the "boys club". What is this? Since when is there a standard. I am confused. This reminds me of high school labels and it feels yucky.

[Kobi]

Originally Posted by Cajun_dee

i don't care what anyone else does in their pants, that's their beeswax, but for me i have learned along the way that i prefer not to simulate hetero sex. i always thought that's what B-F was, being with a *male* ID'd butch and having heteroish sex. Now i know different. We have an allotment of toys which are great fun, but without engaging in hetero-like sex. Not sure if that makes sense to anyone.

i am so happy that others are seeing they don't lose their butch card for not packing and not being a *he*.. and that a femme is still a femme no matter what her butch has in their pants, or doesn't have.

Thank you for sharing this.

As a butch lesbian, I have no desire to act out male-female dynamics or roles in or out of bed. So, this makes a lot of sense to me.

There are many ways of pleasuring ones partner and many toys to use if one chooses aside from phallic ones. I prefer those techniques and toys which accentuate and celebrate the unique interplay between two women who enjoy both enjoy the splendor and wonder of the female body.

I am not a boi or a boi, so I am not familiar with or interested in a club for such. I dont even understand butch-ftm bonding.

It is nice to know there are femmes who still appreciate phallic-less female butches.

[BstlMyhart]

Originally Posted by Cajun_dee

i don't care what anyone else does in their pants, that's their beeswax, but for me i have learned along the way that i prefer not to simulate hetero sex. i always thought that's what B-F was, being with a *male* ID'd butch and having heteroish sex. Now i know different. We have an allotment of toys which are great fun, but without engaging in hetero-like sex. Not sure if that makes sense to anyone.

i am so happy that others are seeing they don't lose their butch card for not packing and not being a *he*.. and that a femme is still a femme no matter what her butch has in their pants, or doesn't have.

Pffffttttt like anyone could ever take my butch card away <smirk>

[bright_arrow]

Originally Posted by girl_dee

i don't care what anyone else does in their pants, that's their beeswax, but for me i have learned along the way that i prefer not to simulate hetero sex. i always thought that's what B-F was, being with a *male* ID'd butch and having heteroish sex. Now i know different. We have an allotment of toys which are great fun, but without engaging in hetero-like sex. Not sure if that makes sense to anyone.

i am so happy that others are seeing they don't lose their butch card for not packing and not being a *he*.. and that a femme is still a femme no matter what her butch has in their pants, or doesn't have.

I never thought about it in those terms. I just figured if I liked it, what the hell? Though I now understand why my girlfriend a few years back freaked out on me liking penetration and told me I "wasn't really a lesbian". Cause to some penetration = straight sex? Bah.

I don't care what you call it as long as I am getting laid!

ETA: I do not care if my butch decides to pack or not. It is [obviously] her choice, and she would if I requested I suppose, but it all comes down to her comfort! It does not make her [or you, or you, or you!] less of whatever ID you feel you fit. You are you, and you are awesome!

[whale]

I don't and no plans to.

[Paradox]

I don't pack or bind. I've thought about it but I like to be light as possible.
To each their own.

[Rockinonahigh]

Year's ago while I was in college I met a couple of queer ladies that I had classes with,one night we were having a poker party at their home,someone brought up packing and strap on sex.I herd about it but hadn't considered spending the cash for any of it cause simply it did nothing for me.Now as time rolls on I started to wonder about giving it a try,so I spent a bunch of $$$ to get the good stuff.I tried it,it was o.k. but didn't really fit,I didn't see the hoop la about it and still don't.Now the bag sits in the closet gathering dust.One thing that bugs me as well as puts me off is that it seems to be the first thing or nearly the first that I get ask about,"do you, " "why not","come on all butches do it" ect..ect.If packing make me butch or more so I could care less i'm fine with out doing so, besides if packing or strap on sex makes or breaks a relationship it wasn't men't to be.As for binding,yes I do wear a spandex t-shirt to keep them where they need to be.

[BstlMyhart]

Originally Posted by rustedrims

Getting educated here.
I thought all Butches had to pack or strap on to be in "The Bois Club".
Hummm,maybe not.

"Butch" is your essence....not a predetermined mold shaped by anyone. Anyone who tries to put anyone else in a mold of any kind needs to remember to look past the outside and see into the soul. As always, just stating my opinion. Whether I'm right or wrong <shrug> lol

[StrongButch]

I am a woman who is gay and butch and thats it And honestly im an older butch and all these labels are starting to confuse me It seems like everyday a new label is created at times I cant keep up (lol)