Non-packing butches

girl_dee · 09-09-2012, 07:18 PM

i don't care what anyone else does in their pants, that's their beeswax, but for me i have learned along the way that i prefer not to simulate hetero sex. i always thought that's what B-F was, being with a *male* ID'd butch and having heteroish sex. Now i know different. We have an allotment of toys which are great fun, but without engaging in hetero-like sex. Not sure if that makes sense to anyone.

i am so happy that others are seeing they don't lose their butch card for not packing and not being a *he*.. and that a femme is still a femme no matter what her butch has in their pants, or doesn't have.

starryeyes · 09-09-2012, 07:33 PM

Everyone has their thing and as long as everyone is having safe, happy consensual fun, let the good time roll!

No one should be judged, looked down upon, treated differently, looked at sideways for their kink or their self expression! Especially here. We already get that out there! This is our place to embrace, love and cherish our community of packers, non-packers, hys, shes, butches, femmes, whoever you are. It is you and you should be proud.

It hurts that people in our community feel like they are not "butch enough" for not packing, or not in the "boys club". What is this? Since when is there a standard. I am confused. This reminds me of high school labels and it feels yucky.

Kobi · 09-09-2012, 08:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cajun_dee

i don't care what anyone else does in their pants, that's their beeswax, but for me i have learned along the way that i prefer not to simulate hetero sex. i always thought that's what B-F was, being with a *male* ID'd butch and having heteroish sex. Now i know different. We have an allotment of toys which are great fun, but without engaging in hetero-like sex. Not sure if that makes sense to anyone.

i am so happy that others are seeing they don't lose their butch card for not packing and not being a *he*.. and that a femme is still a femme no matter what her butch has in their pants, or doesn't have.

Thank you for sharing this.

As a butch lesbian, I have no desire to act out male-female dynamics or roles in or out of bed. So, this makes a lot of sense to me.

There are many ways of pleasuring ones partner and many toys to use if one chooses aside from phallic ones. I prefer those techniques and toys which accentuate and celebrate the unique interplay between two women who enjoy both enjoy the splendor and wonder of the female body.

I am not a boi or a boi, so I am not familiar with or interested in a club for such. I dont even understand butch-ftm bonding.

It is nice to know there are femmes who still appreciate phallic-less female butches.

BstlMyhart · 09-09-2012, 08:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cajun_dee

i don't care what anyone else does in their pants, that's their beeswax, but for me i have learned along the way that i prefer not to simulate hetero sex. i always thought that's what B-F was, being with a *male* ID'd butch and having heteroish sex. Now i know different. We have an allotment of toys which are great fun, but without engaging in hetero-like sex. Not sure if that makes sense to anyone.

i am so happy that others are seeing they don't lose their butch card for not packing and not being a *he*.. and that a femme is still a femme no matter what her butch has in their pants, or doesn't have.

Pffffttttt like anyone could ever take my butch card away <smirk>

bright_arrow · 05-09-2013, 11:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by girl_dee

i don't care what anyone else does in their pants, that's their beeswax, but for me i have learned along the way that i prefer not to simulate hetero sex. i always thought that's what B-F was, being with a *male* ID'd butch and having heteroish sex. Now i know different. We have an allotment of toys which are great fun, but without engaging in hetero-like sex. Not sure if that makes sense to anyone.

i am so happy that others are seeing they don't lose their butch card for not packing and not being a *he*.. and that a femme is still a femme no matter what her butch has in their pants, or doesn't have.

I never thought about it in those terms. I just figured if I liked it, what the hell?

Though I now understand why my girlfriend a few years back freaked out on me liking penetration and told me I "wasn't really a lesbian". Cause to some penetration = straight sex? Bah.

I don't care what you call it as long as I am getting laid!

ETA: I do not care if my butch decides to pack or not. It is [obviously] her choice, and she would if I requested I suppose, but it all comes down to her comfort! It does not make her [or you, or you, or you!] less of whatever ID you feel you fit. You are you, and you are awesome!

whale · 12-04-2013, 10:36 PM

I don't and no plans to.

Paradox · 12-30-2013, 08:38 PM

I don't pack or bind. I've thought about it but I like to be light as possible.
To each their own.

Rockinonahigh · 12-30-2013, 11:09 PM

Year's ago while I was in college I met a couple of queer ladies that I had classes with,one night we were having a poker party at their home,someone brought up packing and strap on sex.I herd about it but hadn't considered spending the cash for any of it cause simply it did nothing for me.Now as time rolls on I started to wonder about giving it a try,so I spent a bunch of $$$ to get the good stuff.I tried it,it was o.k. but didn't really fit,I didn't see the hoop la about it and still don't.Now the bag sits in the closet gathering dust.One thing that bugs me as well as puts me off is that it seems to be the first thing or nearly the first that I get ask about,"do you, " "why not","come on all butches do it" ect..ect.If packing make me butch or more so I could care less i'm fine with out doing so, besides if packing or strap on sex makes or breaks a relationship it wasn't men't to be.As for binding,yes I do wear a spandex t-shirt to keep them where they need to be.

09-09-2012, 07:33 PM	#2
starryeyes Senior Member How Do You Identify?: a round peg in a square hole Preferred Pronoun?: Guess... Relationship Status: Seat taken Join Date: May 2011 Location: Rocky Mountain High Posts: 2,491 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,199 Thanked 10,052 Times in 2,076 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	Everyone has their thing and as long as everyone is having safe, happy consensual fun, let the good time roll! No one should be judged, looked down upon, treated differently, looked at sideways for their kink or their self expression! Especially here. We already get that out there! This is our place to embrace, love and cherish our community of packers, non-packers, hys, shes, butches, femmes, whoever you are. It is you and you should be proud. It hurts that people in our community feel like they are not "butch enough" for not packing, or not in the "boys club". What is this? Since when is there a standard. I am confused. This reminds me of high school labels and it feels yucky. __________________ "It's ok to make mistakes. It's ok to fall down. Get up! Look sickening....and make them eat it!" - Latrice Royale Starry

09-09-2012, 07:18 PM	#1
girl_dee Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: dee Relationship Status: Hitched up Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Livin’ the Dream Posts: 24,079 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 30,560 Thanked 54,833 Times in 13,908 Posts Rep Power: 21474873	i don't care what anyone else does in their pants, that's their beeswax, but for me i have learned along the way that i prefer not to simulate hetero sex. i always thought that's what B-F was, being with a male ID'd butch and having heteroish sex. Now i know different. We have an allotment of toys which are great fun, but without engaging in hetero-like sex. Not sure if that makes sense to anyone. i am so happy that others are seeing they don't lose their butch card for not packing and not being a he.. and that a femme is still a femme no matter what her butch has in their pants, or doesn't have.

12-04-2013, 10:36 PM	#6
whale Junior Member How Do You Identify?: Genderqueer Preferred Pronoun?: Male Relationship Status: Getting Over Someone Join Date: Sep 2013 Location: NY Posts: 5 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 0 Thanked 17 Times in 4 Posts Rep Power: 0	I don't and no plans to.

12-30-2013, 08:38 PM	#7
Paradox Junior Member How Do You Identify?: Constant Outsider - Humanist Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Dec 2013 Location: Toronto - Canada Posts: 59 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 57 Thanked 191 Times in 49 Posts Rep Power: 1217577	I don't pack or bind. I've thought about it but I like to be light as possible. To each their own.

12-30-2013, 11:09 PM	#8
Rockinonahigh Senior Member How Do You Identify?: stone butch Preferred Pronoun?: makes no diffrence,I know who I am. Relationship Status: single,maybe looking if the right person comes along. Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: shreveport,Louisiana Posts: 4,907 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,682 Thanked 14,933 Times in 3,938 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	Year's ago while I was in college I met a couple of queer ladies that I had classes with,one night we were having a poker party at their home,someone brought up packing and strap on sex.I herd about it but hadn't considered spending the cash for any of it cause simply it did nothing for me.Now as time rolls on I started to wonder about giving it a try,so I spent a bunch of $$$ to get the good stuff.I tried it,it was o.k. but didn't really fit,I didn't see the hoop la about it and still don't.Now the bag sits in the closet gathering dust.One thing that bugs me as well as puts me off is that it seems to be the first thing or nearly the first that I get ask about,"do you, " "why not","come on all butches do it" ect..ect.If packing make me butch or more so I could care less i'm fine with out doing so, besides if packing or strap on sex makes or breaks a relationship it wasn't men't to be.As for binding,yes I do wear a spandex t-shirt to keep them where they need to be.