What are your three non-negotiables (in a relationship)?

[chefhmboyrd]

1: pet the puppy nice

2: keep the puppy clean

3: give the puppy lots of love

[chefhmboyrd]

Originally Posted by chefhmboyrd

1: pet the puppy nice

2: keep the puppy clean

3: give the puppy lots of love

and uh....

4: take the puppy to the beach

[bcelly1894]

I was glad to read over all of the posts and see the variety of responces. That no one was put down or avoided on this site because of something that they felt comfortable sharing. I just like the fact that I can be Unapologetic about what I like and dont like for my life, And feel secure in expressing that here on this site. I have no problem stating that Im a lesbian that never want any pets in my life. And that this is a non-negotiable in a relationship for me. Alot because I have allergies, and the other reason is that I just dont like certain pets, Or Im afraid of certain pets, like spiders and snakes-EEEEK! thats when you will see me running away like a little girl.

[bigbutchmistie]

Someone I can connect emotionally with (share deepest darkest secrets, talk to about anything, laugh, etc)

Someone who has morals and values. (like, honesty, integrity, loyalty, knows how to communicate)

Someone that I can connect with physically (someone who like me is extremely affectionate, and passionate.....)

[Greyson]

1. narcism
2. arrogance
3. Too cutsey

Things I find incompatible for a romantic relationship.

[Nomad]

the buzz kills:

- double standards

- using affection as a weapon (removing it when angry, dangling it like a carrot in order to encourage a particular behavior, using it as a reward)

- insults/name calling when angry


(and yes, you could call me out if i do this stuff. i'm human, not perfect.)


the must haves:

- be over your your mistakes and your losses. i'm a right here-right now kind of girl

- cut the apron strings. love the family. visit the family. involve the family in some of our comings and goings. but unless you're related to someone who can order the removal of my pinkie for missing a family reunion i'd prefer that you didnt spend valuable relationship time worshipping your family.

- talk. talktalktalktalktalktalktalktalktalktalktalktalkta lktalktalktalktalktalktalk


the addenda:

- handle your health. i like you. i want to drive you batsh*t crazy for a long time.

- dont treat me like i'm fragile. i'm a tough little bitch. i might cry. i might struggle with the reality of my mistakes or the enormity of the clusterf*ck i created because of those mistakes but i want full metal jacket honesty. i can handle your anger, i just need time to breathe sometimes. i'll sit still and listen while you get things off your chest, i just need a minimum of yelling and "tone". but if you think i cant handle your truth i promise you that you're kidding yourself. f*ck that. i'm still standing arent i? that's right. you can suck my dick if you think i'm fragile.

- i'm a femme and i'm a girl and i'm queer. deal. i'm not a lesbian and i'm not gay, i'm not bisexual and i'm not straight. i have no issue with the ways that other people identify or the words other people use to define themselves. i dont care if someone wants to call themselves a skittles eating squid, these are my words. dont ask me to pretend i'm someone i'm not. if you're not out of the closet i will make room for that because i dont live your life and i dont feel the need to tell you how to take up space or how to structure your world. but i am queer and i will say so when people ask.

- indulgence and patience. you'll need both. i'm a handful.

[bcelly1894]

Originally Posted by June

Because little boys never run away from anything? We don't care for sexist euphamisms here. Everybody gets scared sometimes. I am afraid of snakes and right now I'm in Copper Head Country. I am sure there is one behind me now. But there probably isn't.

Glad to see you posting and reading, just be careful that your verbiage is respectful of women, and everyone else

With all due respect June, I have only been a member on this website for 5 days. Some of your words to me seem down right Bullyish. I thought that this was an open forum where we can feel safe around what we say. I love women and I also respect women. I think that you could have sent me a private message about the sexist euphamisms, So, that I can turn around and act accordingly. I have said nothing in this whole forum, to show any disrespect or attack or harm to anyone. I have no ill will or Trolling intentions for any part of this site as you may think is a potential on my part without just cause. This site is beautiful and very informative to me. I may not be as progressed as you are but there is no need for your so called "kind correction" to me in the open. I refuse to be a part of a network that is suppose to be a loving and progressive environment. And yet feel attacked and singled out by your Bullying.

[Vivacious1]

Respect
Honesty
Faithfullness

[Jesse]

Here's three to get started...

1. Honor yourself and our relationship.

2. Have things that you have powerful belief in...starting with yourself.

3. Do not abuse yourself, me, or my dog.

[bcelly1894]

Originally Posted by June

bcelly --

What you said WAS sexist. Alluding that girls are weak and run away. On this forum, we call isms out in public so we can discuss them, and ALSO because if someone says something like that, and no one responds to them, they might think it's okay. The next thing you know, we have a forum that's rife with blatant isms. So, you can expect that in the future should you choose to use sexist language like that, you will be called on it publicly.

Your poor choice of the words "Bully" and "Bullied" because I deigned, as a Lesbian Femme to take exception to your sexist language and responded to you as a member of this forum, and not a moderator, letting you know how we do things here, and do not do them, was clearly designed to try to shame and silence me, did not work. Let's do that better too, shall we?

With regards to the private exchange we had yesterday, where I let you know that the Admin team wanted you to slow down, read and get to know us before starting a bunch of threads clearly irritated you and has carried over to the post below. You are at this point, very close to a timeout per Jackhammer.

June (Moderator)

June, wow how much of a Bully you really are. My comments were directly totally and completely at you and no one else who owns or runs this website. I was approached by an administrator before you, With no problems what so ever. Then as you see, approached by you, with no problems what so ever, Until your comments became those of a bully. So, dont come on this forum trying to include any one else who runs this site or owns it, in your Bully behaviour. And maybe you should check the record, You can not be discredited by me or anyone else on this website unless it is by the owner or another administrator, not by me. So, get off of your high horse. I dont just want a time out, what are we five? I want to get banned from this website only because of your Bully behaviour June. I do not plan on signing back into this website so if this is the only way to do it, then that is fantastic.

[Gentle Tiger]

Originally Posted by bcelly1894

June, wow how much of a Bully you really are. My comments were directly totally and completely at you and no one else who owns or runs this website. I was approached by an administrator before you, With no problems what so ever. Then as you see, approached by you, with no problems what so ever, Until your comments became those of a bully. So, dont come on this forum trying to include any one else who runs this site or owns it, in your Bully behaviour. And maybe you should check the record, You can not be discredited by me or anyone else on this website unless it is by the owner or another administrator, not by me. So, get off of your high horse. I dont just want a time out, what are we five? I want to get banned from this website only because of your Bully behaviour June. I do not plan on signing back into this website so if this is the only way to do it, then that is fantastic.

bcelly1894, I am not sure what is going on with you right now. But you have clearly shown that you do not wish to be a member of this community. So your wish will be granted. You have been rude and disrespectful since your arrival. You have been spoken to privately. And yet you feel the need to show your hind parts publicly. Therefore you will be banned from the site.

I am asking that no one respond to any of bcelly's posts. Let's not continue to keep this type of behavior in the spotlight.

Thank you,

Malcolm (Moderator)