Attraction = physical, mental, emotional...

Fatale · 09-16-2012, 07:59 AM

Regardless of how scathingly brilliant, handsome and witty you might be, if you light up a cigarette I am immediately turned off. Just can't do it.

thedivahrrrself · 09-16-2012, 12:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fatale

Regardless of how scathingly brilliant, handsome and witty you might be, if you light up a cigarette I am immediately turned off. Just can't do it.

<---- with Fatale here.

I know some couples who make the one non-, one smoker thing work, but I have not had any success with that.

bcelly1894 · 09-17-2012, 02:42 AM

I hope that no one is offended by my last comments of being attracted to a femmes long hair.

I should have added all of this in my last post.

A femme can have beautiful long hair and be an evil person inside.

I am very attracted to a femme more physically if she keeps long hair.
But there are other physical features that turn me on about femmes too.

Mentally, I am attracted to femmes with an Inner Humanitarian type spirit,
When she actually helps others especially children in need.
Im attracted to femmes who have a love of God.
Im attracted to femmes who try their best to live a "green" sustainable life,
I dont mean a complete vegatable diet, because I eat meat.
I mean trying her best to live organic, from our foods, to the materials that we use in our home,
and the types of clothing that our family wears.

Emotionally, I am attracted to femmes who can understand me
and handle me and my inner most self within our romantic relationship.

Im attracted to a femme that can blend in harmony with me, Yet we dont cancel each other out,
Or blend with each other so much, That our individuality is erased or blurred.
Instead we compliment each other harmoniously, And can grow past any problems together.

Beloved · 09-17-2012, 03:48 AM

I like nerds. Intelligence is sexy.

yotlyolqualli · 09-17-2012, 07:44 AM

Physical appearance for me has never been all that important. There are certain traits that I am attracted to, however. Female IDd butch women..... someone who loves being a woman as much as I love them being a woman lol. Polite way of saying that I enjoy the sexual aspect of being with a woman, and so wouldnt care to be with someone who does not want touched.

But... I can't know that just from an initial "glance". That WOULD be a deal breaker for me, however.

Physical attributes that catch my eye...
I love long hair on a woman. I just do. No matter how they wear it. I generally prefer that she be taller than me (not difficult because I am only 5'2" in the mornings before gravity takes over) She definitely has to have a male energy and presence... counter balanced with a feminine softness. She has to be dominant.. not necessarily in a BDSM sort of way, but definitely in a way that she can be the "head" of the relationship. That energy, when it's there, is almost always immediately recognizable. She should be physically strong. I don't necessarily want her to be "cut" lol, but able to wrestle with me is a given LOL I am attracted to strength. Strength of will, of character, of body and of mind. Those things create an aura that is also easily recognizable. It will capture my attention and make my heart jump, each and every time.

I am femme. Not ultra femme, or high maintenance... but femme. Whether it's just a natural energy, or my upbringing brought it about.. I am definitely the "girl or wife" and while I am positive about my "label" I don't care if the woman I am with labels herself or not... as long as she has the(non physical) attributes that can capture and hold my attention.

The physical attributes are only initial attractions. If she opens her mouth and shows herself to be...vain, stupid, arrogant... or... like others have said... tries to tell me how I feel, what I think or how I SHOULD feel or what I SHOULD think... she could look like Xena (sighing) and I would lose interest in a snap!

The physical attributes are not essential for me, they are merely preferences, but they would definitely catch my eye.

The next thing she would have to do, however, is attract my mind, because for me.... appearance is only skin deep.. there also has to be substance.

Angeltoes · 09-17-2012, 08:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by yotlyolqualli

Physical appearance for me has never been all that important. There are certain traits that I am attracted to, however. Female IDd butch women..... someone who loves being a woman as much as I love them being a woman lol. Polite way of saying that I enjoy the sexual aspect of being with a woman, and so wouldnt care to be with someone who does not want touched.

But... I can't know that just from an initial "glance". That WOULD be a deal breaker for me, however.

Physical attributes that catch my eye...
I love long hair on a woman. I just do. No matter how they wear it. I generally prefer that she be taller than me (not difficult because I am only 5'2" in the mornings before gravity takes over) She definitely has to have a male energy and presence... counter balanced with a feminine softness. She has to be dominant.. not necessarily in a BDSM sort of way, but definitely in a way that she can be the "head" of the relationship. That energy, when it's there, is almost always immediately recognizable. She should be physically strong. I don't necessarily want her to be "cut" lol, but able to wrestle with me is a given LOL I am attracted to strength. Strength of will, of character, of body and of mind. Those things create an aura that is also easily recognizable. It will capture my attention and make my heart jump, each and every time.

I am femme. Not ultra femme, or high maintenance... but femme. Whether it's just a natural energy, or my upbringing brought it about.. I am definitely the "girl or wife" and while I am positive about my "label" I don't care if the woman I am with labels herself or not... as long as she has the(non physical) attributes that can capture and hold my attention.

The physical attributes are only initial attractions. If she opens her mouth and shows herself to be...vain, stupid, arrogant... or... like others have said... tries to tell me how I feel, what I think or how I SHOULD feel or what I SHOULD think... she could look like Xena (sighing) and I would lose interest in a snap!

The physical attributes are not essential for me, they are merely preferences, but they would definitely catch my eye.

The next thing she would have to do, however, is attract my mind, because for me.... appearance is only skin deep.. there also has to be substance.

You captured it almost exactly how I feel and what I want except for hair length. I prefer short hair but either way isn't a deal breaker. I do like the sense that my partner could lead in the relationship but not in a controlling sort of way.

Nomad · 09-17-2012, 02:51 PM

i'm learning more and more about myself this year than i have in possibly the last decade. being on the road alone with a huge and largely uninterrupted amount of time to process has made me realize that i crave someone who can handle me. someone strong, patient, dominant, loving and demanding; someone insightful enough to know me, "see" me, understand me and keep me safe.

i'm not a cake walk. not even close. i'm hard to get close to and i have some wicked effective defenses built up around me (a fact which is cleverly disguised by my brilliant sense of humor and my obvious charm). in short, i have baggage. and all the evidence points to the fact that it's permanent baggage at that. but i wouldnt refuse guidance to an interested party if they were hardy enough to stand their ground while we got to know one another. maybe i need to post a sign that says "The feint of heart need not apply"? translation: i'm too old to suffer wimps. handle me or move on.

everyone has baggage. some of us have managed to limit that baggage to the carry on variety and some of us have full monogrammed sets. we just need to go through it once in a while in order to understand what it represents. something that occurs to me as i type is that we also need to change our approach to that baggage. im beginning to think we need to treat it with respect rather than the more typical contempt or wariness response. no one volunteers for emotional turbulance (without a reason anyway - which is baggage in and of itself). maybe we need to start cutting ourselves and other people some slack or looking at the emotional baggage issue with a little more humility. after all, sometimes when you can examine the hard things with someone who truly cares for you it becomes possible to let some of it go.

behind my defenses is a girl who sincerely wants to be open and vulnerable and exposed to the gaze of someone who loves and respects what they find there and who will help safeguard it, but there's some climbing to be done to get that close. after years of taking flak and even beating myself up for erecting such intricate defenses i've come to realize that i'm more normal than i understood. more importantly, the people who dont want to make the climb or cant afford the effort wouldnt be a good fit for me anyway, nor i for them.

my baggage has its foundation in childhood. like most people with those kinds of emotional mementos i've created an adult version that dictates a certain pattern to the way i move through the world. today's version of me (which is different than yesterday and will be different tomorrow) knows that i can sometimes choose how much or how little influence that baggage has on what i do, say and think but i'm never going to be without it. the people that i have been sincerely attracted to throughout my life were those who took the time to understand how i became who i am. i did the same with regard to them. that kind of intimate knowlege is what makes it possible for us to "handle" one another. i would run -not walk- from someone who said they wouldnt consider a relationship with someone who has baggage. not only do i think that sort of talk/mindset is incredibly othering, it would also make me think that their self image had taken on a holy tone. personally, i'm not into perfection, giving or receiving.

09-17-2012, 07:44 AM	#5
yotlyolqualli Member How Do You Identify?: submissive femme Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: moving forward and not looking back... anything is possible! Join Date: May 2012 Location: Pennsylvania Posts: 242 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,206 Thanked 1,272 Times in 184 Posts Rep Power: 21357560	Physical appearance for me has never been all that important. There are certain traits that I am attracted to, however. Female IDd butch women..... someone who loves being a woman as much as I love them being a woman lol. Polite way of saying that I enjoy the sexual aspect of being with a woman, and so wouldnt care to be with someone who does not want touched. But... I can't know that just from an initial "glance". That WOULD be a deal breaker for me, however. Physical attributes that catch my eye... I love long hair on a woman. I just do. No matter how they wear it. I generally prefer that she be taller than me (not difficult because I am only 5'2" in the mornings before gravity takes over) She definitely has to have a male energy and presence... counter balanced with a feminine softness. She has to be dominant.. not necessarily in a BDSM sort of way, but definitely in a way that she can be the "head" of the relationship. That energy, when it's there, is almost always immediately recognizable. She should be physically strong. I don't necessarily want her to be "cut" lol, but able to wrestle with me is a given LOL I am attracted to strength. Strength of will, of character, of body and of mind. Those things create an aura that is also easily recognizable. It will capture my attention and make my heart jump, each and every time. I am femme. Not ultra femme, or high maintenance... but femme. Whether it's just a natural energy, or my upbringing brought it about.. I am definitely the "girl or wife" and while I am positive about my "label" I don't care if the woman I am with labels herself or not... as long as she has the(non physical) attributes that can capture and hold my attention. The physical attributes are only initial attractions. If she opens her mouth and shows herself to be...vain, stupid, arrogant... or... like others have said... tries to tell me how I feel, what I think or how I SHOULD feel or what I SHOULD think... she could look like Xena (sighing) and I would lose interest in a snap! The physical attributes are not essential for me, they are merely preferences, but they would definitely catch my eye. The next thing she would have to do, however, is attract my mind, because for me.... appearance is only skin deep.. there also has to be substance. __________________ ~Love is a verb~

09-16-2012, 07:59 AM	#1
Fatale Member How Do You Identify?: Not your average babe in the woods. Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: Singular Join Date: Aug 2012 Location: The edge Posts: 210 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 22 Thanked 896 Times in 166 Posts Rep Power: 12150547	Regardless of how scathingly brilliant, handsome and witty you might be, if you light up a cigarette I am immediately turned off. Just can't do it.

09-17-2012, 02:42 AM	#3
bcelly1894 Timed Out How Do You Identify?: sb Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Sep 2012 Location: the earth Posts: 36 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 32 Thanked 78 Times in 26 Posts Rep Power: 0	I hope that no one is offended by my last comments of being attracted to a femmes long hair. I should have added all of this in my last post. A femme can have beautiful long hair and be an evil person inside. I am very attracted to a femme more physically if she keeps long hair. But there are other physical features that turn me on about femmes too. Mentally, I am attracted to femmes with an Inner Humanitarian type spirit, When she actually helps others especially children in need. Im attracted to femmes who have a love of God. Im attracted to femmes who try their best to live a "green" sustainable life, I dont mean a complete vegatable diet, because I eat meat. I mean trying her best to live organic, from our foods, to the materials that we use in our home, and the types of clothing that our family wears. Emotionally, I am attracted to femmes who can understand me and handle me and my inner most self within our romantic relationship. Im attracted to a femme that can blend in harmony with me, Yet we dont cancel each other out, Or blend with each other so much, That our individuality is erased or blurred. Instead we compliment each other harmoniously, And can grow past any problems together.

09-17-2012, 03:48 AM	#4
Beloved Member How Do You Identify?: alive Preferred Pronoun?: um Relationship Status: married Join Date: Sep 2011 Location: on the stars Posts: 460 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,415 Thanked 1,653 Times in 298 Posts Rep Power: 19348703	I like nerds. Intelligence is sexy.

09-17-2012, 02:51 PM	#7
Nomad Timed Out How Do You Identify?: stone femme Daddy's girl Preferred Pronoun?: she/her Relationship Status: disinterested Join Date: Jun 2012 Location: in my head Posts: 991 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 5,848 Thanked 3,745 Times in 734 Posts Rep Power: 0	i'm learning more and more about myself this year than i have in possibly the last decade. being on the road alone with a huge and largely uninterrupted amount of time to process has made me realize that i crave someone who can handle me. someone strong, patient, dominant, loving and demanding; someone insightful enough to know me, "see" me, understand me and keep me safe. i'm not a cake walk. not even close. i'm hard to get close to and i have some wicked effective defenses built up around me (a fact which is cleverly disguised by my brilliant sense of humor and my obvious charm). in short, i have baggage. and all the evidence points to the fact that it's permanent baggage at that. but i wouldnt refuse guidance to an interested party if they were hardy enough to stand their ground while we got to know one another. maybe i need to post a sign that says "The feint of heart need not apply"? translation: i'm too old to suffer wimps. handle me or move on. everyone has baggage. some of us have managed to limit that baggage to the carry on variety and some of us have full monogrammed sets. we just need to go through it once in a while in order to understand what it represents. something that occurs to me as i type is that we also need to change our approach to that baggage. im beginning to think we need to treat it with respect rather than the more typical contempt or wariness response. no one volunteers for emotional turbulance (without a reason anyway - which is baggage in and of itself). maybe we need to start cutting ourselves and other people some slack or looking at the emotional baggage issue with a little more humility. after all, sometimes when you can examine the hard things with someone who truly cares for you it becomes possible to let some of it go. behind my defenses is a girl who sincerely wants to be open and vulnerable and exposed to the gaze of someone who loves and respects what they find there and who will help safeguard it, but there's some climbing to be done to get that close. after years of taking flak and even beating myself up for erecting such intricate defenses i've come to realize that i'm more normal than i understood. more importantly, the people who dont want to make the climb or cant afford the effort wouldnt be a good fit for me anyway, nor i for them. my baggage has its foundation in childhood. like most people with those kinds of emotional mementos i've created an adult version that dictates a certain pattern to the way i move through the world. today's version of me (which is different than yesterday and will be different tomorrow) knows that i can sometimes choose how much or how little influence that baggage has on what i do, say and think but i'm never going to be without it. the people that i have been sincerely attracted to throughout my life were those who took the time to understand how i became who i am. i did the same with regard to them. that kind of intimate knowlege is what makes it possible for us to "handle" one another. i would run -not walk- from someone who said they wouldnt consider a relationship with someone who has baggage. not only do i think that sort of talk/mindset is incredibly othering, it would also make me think that their self image had taken on a holy tone. personally, i'm not into perfection, giving or receiving.