Single FTM's & Femme's

Leigh · 10-01-2012, 08:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hominid

I really had it in my head that I would have a snuggly and someone for whom to build a fire this fall/winter. I guess the snuggly remains the boxer and I'll build the fire for the parrot and save a tree at Christmas time. Ho hum and Bah Humbug.

Yeah I sometimes get that way around the holidays with not having anyone, but when its the right time someone will come into your life and it'll be amazing

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nadeest

Hang in there, Hominid. You never really know when that special person is going to come into your life.

Everyone has someone out there for them, and as hard as it can be to keep the faith (i know that too well), we just have to know someone is out there waiting for us too

Quote:

Originally Posted by Heavenleahangel

Hominid, I had the same thing rolling around in my head! Now it's fall, and I'm starting to adopt your way of thinking! Bah Humbug!!!

Aww I know ~ its so easy to adopt that way of thinking but with the holidays around the corner, I know atleast for me I can't stay in that mood too long!

Quote:

Originally Posted by morningstar55

Morning

Evening now morningstar, but I hope you had a good day

Quote:

Originally Posted by AlixKnight4All

Evening everyone...first day of the week and first day of the month...three months left in this year....anyone have Halloween plans...one of the times I wish I had children and the best memories I have of walking my nieces and nephews around...except is almost always rains here that night and is usually so cold by then that the kids have to wear coats over the costumes....I haven't decided if I am doing anything this year but I am sure I will do something...anyone else....I will at least hit the pumpkin and apples that are every where right now...

i still can't decide what i am gonna do but its too bad You didn't live closer Alix, You could help me to give out the candy cuz i will likely be giving the candy out alone this year booooooooooo lol

LoyalWolfsBlade · 10-01-2012, 08:08 PM

More like keep you from eating it you mean leigh....hey I know we can keep each other from eating it and you can make sure I don't give out handfuls of candy at a time instead of a couple

Hominid · 10-01-2012, 09:51 PM

At least I can work for other people who have their kids and families at home - my Christmas gift to my amazing peers.

My biggest problem in meeting people is my work schedule. And being an introvert. And living in such a queer-strong area -sort of. Grown up queers/FtM's, etc. are few - it's very traditionally crunchy at my age. I lean towards slightly younger women, and that generation (early 30's) is more butch-femme ... or bisexual women. Lots and lots of bisexual women. But it seems they are more interested in EITHER a born male or a woman ... dick or no dick seeming to be the focus. BUT ... in you're in your early 20's and FtM, you have it made. Very much known and femmes are very interested. I'm not sure how that will look at those cute boys become balding, hairy men ...

Anyway, it's really odd to be in such a queer friendly place and just disappear into the liberal masses as an apparent cis-male. When I flirt with "my type" - slightly andro women, strong straight women, or funky tattooed geeks, I am looked at like I'm nuts. I wonder if this at all parallels the experience of the "invisible femme". Then again, I just want to move in the world at large as male, even though I'm not sure how I would announce what is in my pants or how I was born.

More prattling ... trying to keep the board going more than whining ... no dead animals in 12 hours!

Leigh · 10-01-2012, 10:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AlixKnight4All

More like keep you from eating it you mean leigh....hey I know we can keep each other from eating it and you can make sure I don't give out handfuls of candy at a time instead of a couple

*giggles* yes Your so right Alix, i think if we were giving out candy together it would be quite interesting *grin*

Nadeest · 10-02-2012, 04:25 AM

It definitely gets 'interesting', Hominid, having to have that 'talk' with someone that you are interested in, when you tell them that you are ts, and what that implies. I've had to do it once, with a male, so far, and he completely lost interest at that point. A pity, but it is a lot better response then what could have happened.

ScandalAndy · 10-02-2012, 07:45 AM

well now i want a BFP halloween party with a bonfire!

stepfordfemme · 10-02-2012, 08:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hominid

At least I can work for other people who have their kids and families at home - my Christmas gift to my amazing peers.

My biggest problem in meeting people is my work schedule. And being an introvert. And living in such a queer-strong area -sort of. Grown up queers/FtM's, etc. are few - it's very traditionally crunchy at my age. I lean towards slightly younger women, and that generation (early 30's) is more butch-femme ... or bisexual women. Lots and lots of bisexual women. But it seems they are more interested in EITHER a born male or a woman ... dick or no dick seeming to be the focus. BUT ... in you're in your early 20's and FtM, you have it made. Very much known and femmes are very interested. I'm not sure how that will look at those cute boys become balding, hairy men ...

Anyway, it's really odd to be in such a queer friendly place and just disappear into the liberal masses as an apparent cis-male. When I flirt with "my type" - slightly andro women, strong straight women, or funky tattooed geeks, I am looked at like I'm nuts. I wonder if this at all parallels the experience of the "invisible femme". Then again, I just want to move in the world at large as male, even though I'm not sure how I would announce what is in my pants or how I was born.

More prattling ... trying to keep the board going more than whining ... no dead animals in 12 hours!

The bolded section may be your experience, but I just want to say there are femmes (including my young fine twentysomething femme self) that care a lot more about than c*ck/No c*ck.

I've been partnered with one of those young twentysomething (very hot) transguys, that you think may have it made. Please talk to these guys. Talk on this site. Just to see if their experiences validate your opinion.

We all have a tough road... femmes that feel invisible and trans men that don't pass. Men that deal with the exact issues you speak of. It might not change how you feel, but you might find some people to share your experiences with. Maybe they'll hook you up with a hottie tattoo'ed geek they know. As a trans-sensual femme, believe me the dating scene is no easier on us. I feel/have felt like I need a sign on my forehead.

Maybe you should try talking to some queer Id'ed or pansexual/sapiosexual/ whatever new beautiful word-- some of these ladies have. Gender identity for femmes/females is just as varied as with the trans community.

And, as a woman, I would hope that my love for my partner would surpass any barrier. I will someday not be my young fabulous self, and I would hope that my man would want me JUST the same. Love is all encompassing. Lust is just the physical.

Nice step off for some discussion!

LoyalWolfsBlade · 10-02-2012, 09:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hominid

At least I can work for other people who have their kids and families at home - my Christmas gift to my amazing peers.

My biggest problem in meeting people is my work schedule. And being an introvert. And living in such a queer-strong area -sort of. Grown up queers/FtM's, etc. are few - it's very traditionally crunchy at my age. I lean towards slightly younger women, and that generation (early 30's) is more butch-femme ... or bisexual women. Lots and lots of bisexual women. But it seems they are more interested in EITHER a born male or a woman ... dick or no dick seeming to be the focus. BUT ... in you're in your early 20's and FtM, you have it made. Very much known and femmes are very interested. I'm not sure how that will look at those cute boys become balding, hairy men ...

Anyway, it's really odd to be in such a queer friendly place and just disappear into the liberal masses as an apparent cis-male. When I flirt with "my type" - slightly andro women, strong straight women, or funky tattooed geeks, I am looked at like I'm nuts. I wonder if this at all parallels the experience of the "invisible femme". Then again, I just want to move in the world at large as male, even though I'm not sure how I would announce what is in my pants or how I was born.

More prattling ... trying to keep the board going more than whining ... no dead animals in 12 hours!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nadeest

It definitely gets 'interesting', Hominid, having to have that 'talk' with someone that you are interested in, when you tell them that you are ts, and what that implies. I've had to do it once, with a male, so far, and he completely lost interest at that point. A pity, but it is a lot better response then what could have happened.

Quote:

Originally Posted by stepfordfemme

The bolded section may be your experience, but I just want to say there are femmes (including my young fine twentysomething femme self) that care a lot more about than c*ck/No c*ck.

I've been partnered with one of those young twentysomething (very hot) transguys, that you think may have it made. Please talk to these guys. Talk on this site. Just to see if their experiences validate your opinion.

We all have a tough road... femmes that feel invisible and trans men that don't pass. Men that deal with the exact issues you speak of. It might not change how you feel, but you might find some people to share your experiences with. Maybe they'll hook you up with a hottie tattoo'ed geek they know. As a trans-sensual femme, believe me the dating scene is no easier on us. I feel/have felt like I need a sign on my forehead.

Maybe you should try talking to some queer Id'ed or pansexual/sapiosexual/ whatever new beautiful word-- some of these ladies have. Gender identity for femmes/females is just as varied as with the trans community.

And, as a woman, I would hope that my love for my partner would surpass any barrier. I will someday not be my young fabulous self, and I would hope that my man would want me JUST the same. Love is all encompassing. Lust is just the physical.

Nice step off for some discussion!

adding my voice and wondering again if I should have started a whole new thread instead of using one that already existed. As a 40 something trans guy not a FTM I have to agree that gender identity is very varied for both femmes and male id'd individuals. As one such femme on here pointed out when I asked where were the ladies that like guys like me...they are every where. Everywhere except where I live that is *laugh*

As a guy that does not always pass and as one that has had his face slapped when I did for being honest about my birth gender I can tell you it is not fun for me. Yet I do not give up and choose to not flirt with straight women because I want more then lust. I can find lust any where. I am discovering after finding this site that there is a wide range of gender identities out there and a wide range of experiences in those gender ids. I can tell you the discussion is just as hard for someone like me that is trans but chooses not to transition and tries everything possible to pass.
That I love women of different gender identified for who they are as a person. Yet I post in the single FTM thread because it is more honest then posting in the general singles thread though Id o post there too. Personally I think because you live in Mass. you have more options then most I know because I used to live in that state.

I know I am rambling...a little tired and not enough coffee yet
Guess I am trying to say I agree with Stepfordfemme maybe try talking to some of the other guys on this site and not limit it to the FTMs though talk to them also and you may find that all of feel invisible and you may just find the kind of person your interested in flirting with or having a relationship with. Maybe talk to some of the femmes too I know I learn a lot from them.

Anyone want or need coffee I know I do......

Leigh · 10-02-2012, 10:30 AM

Just talk to a different variety of people, learn what you can about each individual person because we are all different, and know that us gals who love each and every one of you are out there waiting to be found

Hominid · 10-02-2012, 10:13 PM

Alix, Leigh - Thanks both. I'm not sure I suggested I don't talk to lots of femmes/butches/FtM's - but to keep my reply succinct (not very good at this) - I talk to all sorts of people, and glean my opinion/experience of this area from that in particular, which is why I have thoughts about the experiences of some of the different gender presentations and identities and what they experience compared to myself. I know far fewer FtM's - my friends are on different parts of the queer spectrum, from butch lesbian bottoms to femme tops.
As you pointed out in bold, this is my experience, a generalization of the gender politics and identities and how different generations move within the continuum and relate where I live.

10-01-2012, 08:08 PM	#2
LoyalWolfsBlade Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Pre-Op FtM, Preferred Pronoun?: Masculine ones plz Relationship Status: Single but haven't given up on finding the One Join Date: Apr 2012 Location: I gaze upon the same moon as you do Posts: 3,827 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 13,214 Thanked 9,646 Times in 3,123 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	More like keep you from eating it you mean leigh....hey I know we can keep each other from eating it and you can make sure I don't give out handfuls of candy at a time instead of a couple __________________ Life should never be stagnant hence my quest for new knowledge will continue until my last breath. Wolf

10-02-2012, 07:45 AM	#6
ScandalAndy Member How Do You Identify?: human femme spitfire Preferred Pronoun?: she/her Relationship Status: it's official! Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: east coast USA Posts: 1,167 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,758 Thanked 3,217 Times in 753 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	well now i want a BFP halloween party with a bonfire! __________________ The joy of discovery is certainly the liveliest that the mind of man can ever feel. - Claude Bernard (1813-78)

10-02-2012, 10:30 AM	#9
Leigh Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She, Her, etc Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Canada Posts: 7,767 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,029 Thanked 13,024 Times in 4,784 Posts Rep Power: 21474859	Just talk to a different variety of people, learn what you can about each individual person because we are all different, and know that us gals who love each and every one of you are out there waiting to be found __________________ "When you fall off the wagon ... clutch the sides of it until you get a better grip!"

10-01-2012, 09:51 PM	#3
Hominid Member How Do You Identify?: Male with interesting historical perspective Relationship Status: Taking Applications Join Date: Jul 2012 Location: In perpetual Wonder. And Western Mass. Posts: 254 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 417 Thanked 753 Times in 187 Posts Rep Power: 11507408	At least I can work for other people who have their kids and families at home - my Christmas gift to my amazing peers. My biggest problem in meeting people is my work schedule. And being an introvert. And living in such a queer-strong area -sort of. Grown up queers/FtM's, etc. are few - it's very traditionally crunchy at my age. I lean towards slightly younger women, and that generation (early 30's) is more butch-femme ... or bisexual women. Lots and lots of bisexual women. But it seems they are more interested in EITHER a born male or a woman ... dick or no dick seeming to be the focus. BUT ... in you're in your early 20's and FtM, you have it made. Very much known and femmes are very interested. I'm not sure how that will look at those cute boys become balding, hairy men ... Anyway, it's really odd to be in such a queer friendly place and just disappear into the liberal masses as an apparent cis-male. When I flirt with "my type" - slightly andro women, strong straight women, or funky tattooed geeks, I am looked at like I'm nuts. I wonder if this at all parallels the experience of the "invisible femme". Then again, I just want to move in the world at large as male, even though I'm not sure how I would announce what is in my pants or how I was born. More prattling ... trying to keep the board going more than whining ... no dead animals in 12 hours!

10-02-2012, 04:25 AM	#5
Nadeest Member How Do You Identify?: as myself Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Sep 2011 Location: Leesburg, FL Posts: 595 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,876 Thanked 2,118 Times in 501 Posts Rep Power: 17077997	It definitely gets 'interesting', Hominid, having to have that 'talk' with someone that you are interested in, when you tell them that you are ts, and what that implies. I've had to do it once, with a male, so far, and he completely lost interest at that point. A pity, but it is a lot better response then what could have happened.

10-02-2012, 10:13 PM	#10
Hominid Member How Do You Identify?: Male with interesting historical perspective Relationship Status: Taking Applications Join Date: Jul 2012 Location: In perpetual Wonder. And Western Mass. Posts: 254 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 417 Thanked 753 Times in 187 Posts Rep Power: 11507408	Alix, Leigh - Thanks both. I'm not sure I suggested I don't talk to lots of femmes/butches/FtM's - but to keep my reply succinct (not very good at this) - I talk to all sorts of people, and glean my opinion/experience of this area from that in particular, which is why I have thoughts about the experiences of some of the different gender presentations and identities and what they experience compared to myself. I know far fewer FtM's - my friends are on different parts of the queer spectrum, from butch lesbian bottoms to femme tops. As you pointed out in bold, this is my experience, a generalization of the gender politics and identities and how different generations move within the continuum and relate where I live.