Are you a donor???????????

DamonK · 10-08-2012, 05:14 PM

Most don't quite understand, unless they've seen us together....

Hypothetically, I'm in a coma. Decisions have to be made. MBE is to call Bear. He decides. She gets a vote of course. And I have faith they will do right by me and agree what to do.

My reasons are simple. My parents love me. My dad would hesitate to pull the cord. My mom probably wouldn't. I won't put that burden on her.

Furthermore, I worry if they're in charge, Bear and MBE won't get to have an opinion. Bear knows exactly what to do. So does MBE. I will protect her until the end and after. Bear will fight for their rights so maybe MBE will at least have one thing to not grieve over.

easygoingfemme · 10-08-2012, 05:16 PM

Yes, registered donor here.

girl_dee · 10-08-2012, 05:17 PM

Sometimes there isn't a cord to pull. Most of the head injury people i worked with were on feeding tubes, not life machines. Their brains and bodies were functioning but they were physically unable to swallow or feed themselves.

The feeding tube has to be pulled out, or someone has to stop feeding you so you can starve to death.

That's where it gets tricky.

DamonK · 10-08-2012, 05:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cajun_dee

Sometimes there isn't a cord. Most of the head injury people i worked with were on feeding tubes, not life machines. Their brains and bodies were functioning but they were physically unable to swallow or feed themselves.

The feeding tube has to be pulled out, or someone has to stop feeding you so you can starve to death.

That's where it gets tricky.

Yes. It does. I've had to watch those decisions be made as well.

The cord I mean is anything that connects me to life if I have no quality of life left.

LaneyDoll · 10-08-2012, 05:29 PM

Donor here. Take what can be used and cremate the rest. I do not want to be buried-for a variety of reasons.

DMW · 10-08-2012, 05:33 PM

Affirmative...for years...and then... i actually am a recipient...who knew.
Thank you donor

Bit · 10-08-2012, 05:37 PM

Yes, here. My family has known for a long time, but people do forget so this is a timely reminder to have that talk with them again. Thanks!

aishah · 10-08-2012, 05:43 PM

by the way - most states now i think allow advanced medical directives so you can make legally binding decisions about end-of-life (as well as psychiatric crises) instead of having to depend on others to make those decisions when the time comes. not that you can't trust people, but...in situations like that, i've seen people do complete 180s. so it's something i'd recommend looking into.

princessbelle · 10-08-2012, 06:15 PM

Good points. Get your wishes in paper out there. Copies to your doc, family etc.

Here's the thing to remember...

Say you are in a car wreck and it is decided that you are legally dead, breathing or not. In the hospital, it is Law in the state of Tennessee and i'm assuming it is close to the same all over the country, for the RN or Doc to notify the Donor Registry and tell them of the death or impending death. It is then by phone that the Donor Registry will contact the family and ask over the phone what they want to do. They don't know histories or who is suppose to be the one making the decision. All of that should be done way ahead of the need so everyone knows who to go to for the answer. Again, this is initiated over the phone. Make sure EVERYONE knows your wishes that may even be somewhat involved.

So, unless it is a long drawn out death, so to speak, where there is plenty of time to contact this one and that one and fight who has the legal rights, get all the paper work in order, etc, all of the decision comes down to who is next of kin to make the sometimes very fast decision.

Make sure everyone will know who is in charge in that situation because it is rare there is time to get through the legal mumbo jumbo.

Luv · 10-09-2012, 06:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LaneyDoll

Donor here. Take what can be used and cremate the rest. I do not want to be buried-for a variety of reasons.

Ditto.......

girl_dee · 10-08-2012, 05:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DamonK

Yes. It does. I've had to watch those decisions be made as well.

The cord I mean is anything that connects me to life if I have no quality of life left.

Exactly so be very specific in your wishes (to all) because pulling a feeding tube and pulling a plug are two totally different things in the eyes of the law.

Pulling the plug- the person usually drifts off like in the movies

pulling the feeding tube - the person starves to death after a week or so which is murder in the eyes of some law makers and not allowed.

So be very specific in your wishes because the pull the plug DNR wishes do not apply when someone is on a a feeding tube.

Corkey · 10-08-2012, 05:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DamonK

Most don't quite understand, unless they've seen us together....

Hypothetically, I'm in a coma. Decisions have to be made. MBE is to call Bear. He decides. She gets a vote of course. And I have faith they will do right by me and agree what to do.

My reasons are simple. My parents love me. My dad would hesitate to pull the cord. My mom probably wouldn't. I won't put that burden on her.

Furthermore, I worry if they're in charge, Bear and MBE won't get to have an opinion. Bear knows exactly what to do. So does MBE. I will protect her until the end and after. Bear will fight for their rights so maybe MBE will at least have one thing to not grieve over.

it is in writing and Ami has the originals. No one else gets a say.

10-08-2012, 05:29 PM	#5
LaneyDoll Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Girly girl femme Preferred Pronoun?: She; Ma'am; Miss ;) Relationship Status: Pitbull protected. Join Date: Apr 2011 Location: Birmingham, AL Posts: 2,204 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 6,892 Thanked 7,683 Times in 1,607 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	Donor here. Take what can be used and cremate the rest. I do not want to be buried-for a variety of reasons. __________________ There are beauties who stop traffic and then there are beauties who grow obsessively in the hearts of the susceptible.

10-08-2012, 06:15 PM	#9
princessbelle Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: femme Preferred Pronoun?: femme ones Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Tennessee Posts: 6,100 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 29,380 Thanked 30,496 Times in 5,198 Posts Rep Power: 21474858	Good points. Get your wishes in paper out there. Copies to your doc, family etc. Here's the thing to remember... Say you are in a car wreck and it is decided that you are legally dead, breathing or not. In the hospital, it is Law in the state of Tennessee and i'm assuming it is close to the same all over the country, for the RN or Doc to notify the Donor Registry and tell them of the death or impending death. It is then by phone that the Donor Registry will contact the family and ask over the phone what they want to do. They don't know histories or who is suppose to be the one making the decision. All of that should be done way ahead of the need so everyone knows who to go to for the answer. Again, this is initiated over the phone. Make sure EVERYONE knows your wishes that may even be somewhat involved. So, unless it is a long drawn out death, so to speak, where there is plenty of time to contact this one and that one and fight who has the legal rights, get all the paper work in order, etc, all of the decision comes down to who is next of kin to make the sometimes very fast decision. Make sure everyone will know who is in charge in that situation because it is rare there is time to get through the legal mumbo jumbo. __________________ ~ I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. ~ Maya Angelou

10-08-2012, 05:14 PM	#1
DamonK Senior Member How Do You Identify?: . Preferred Pronoun?: . Relationship Status: . Join Date: May 2010 Location: . Posts: 2,199 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,527 Thanked 7,762 Times in 1,881 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	Most don't quite understand, unless they've seen us together.... Hypothetically, I'm in a coma. Decisions have to be made. MBE is to call Bear. He decides. She gets a vote of course. And I have faith they will do right by me and agree what to do. My reasons are simple. My parents love me. My dad would hesitate to pull the cord. My mom probably wouldn't. I won't put that burden on her. Furthermore, I worry if they're in charge, Bear and MBE won't get to have an opinion. Bear knows exactly what to do. So does MBE. I will protect her until the end and after. Bear will fight for their rights so maybe MBE will at least have one thing to not grieve over.

10-08-2012, 05:16 PM	#2
easygoingfemme Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Lil' Miss Sassy Pants Preferred Pronoun?: She/her Join Date: Oct 2012 Location: My place by the river Posts: 3,692 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 7,023 Thanked 14,975 Times in 3,318 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	Yes, registered donor here.

10-08-2012, 05:17 PM	#3
girl_dee Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: dee Relationship Status: Hitched up Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Livin’ the Dream Posts: 24,079 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 30,560 Thanked 54,830 Times in 13,908 Posts Rep Power: 21474873	Sometimes there isn't a cord to pull. Most of the head injury people i worked with were on feeding tubes, not life machines. Their brains and bodies were functioning but they were physically unable to swallow or feed themselves. The feeding tube has to be pulled out, or someone has to stop feeding you so you can starve to death. That's where it gets tricky.

10-08-2012, 05:33 PM	#6
DMW Member How Do You Identify?: FTM/Male (Will 14) Relationship Status: Caught An Angel and she doesn't lie! Join Date: May 2012 Location: @ Posts: 784 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,256 Thanked 1,858 Times in 614 Posts Rep Power: 21474850	Affirmative...for years...and then... i actually am a recipient...who knew. Thank you donor

10-08-2012, 05:37 PM	#7
Bit Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Stonefemme Relationship Status: married to Gryph Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Wichita, KS Posts: 2,177 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,126 Thanked 3,770 Times in 1,264 Posts Rep Power: 10778870	Yes, here. My family has known for a long time, but people do forget so this is a timely reminder to have that talk with them again. Thanks!

10-08-2012, 05:43 PM	#8
aishah Member How Do You Identify?: queer stone femme shark baby girl Preferred Pronoun?: she, her, little one Relationship Status: dating myself. Join Date: Jan 2012 Location: dallas, tx Posts: 1,495 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 13,823 Thanked 6,441 Times in 1,288 Posts Rep Power: 21474851	by the way - most states now i think allow advanced medical directives so you can make legally binding decisions about end-of-life (as well as psychiatric crises) instead of having to depend on others to make those decisions when the time comes. not that you can't trust people, but...in situations like that, i've seen people do complete 180s. so it's something i'd recommend looking into.