The Fat Positive Lounge

ruby_woo · 10-27-2012, 12:46 PM

I'm not sure if this belongs this in this thread, but I'm not sure where else to put it.

Do any of you have tips for when you're feeling not-so-positive?

This article pretty well sums up what it's like to be fat in a skinny, crunchy, yoga and snowboard loving town like Vancouver, and it gets really hard to remain positive at times. What do you do to be nice to yourself when you're feeling down?

NorCalStud · 10-27-2012, 02:52 PM

I love big femmes....so deeply beautiful. So gorgeous. Be happy and be healthy and know you are HOT HEAVEN.

princesskathie · 11-01-2012, 08:21 PM

I loooove being a big girl coz my fabulousness just won't fit into a small body, lolol!

princesskathie · 11-07-2012, 03:39 AM

So what are your favorite places to shop online for big girl clothes??

nycfem · 11-07-2012, 05:57 PM

I wanted to bump this question, ruby woo, because it is such an important one!

Let's see. When I'm feeling not-so-positive, here's some of what I do that helps me:

-exercise (gets me in touch with my body feeling strong and capable and the adrenalin rush feels good too)

-talk to or hang out with someone body positive (or go on body positive web sites)

-a few weeks ago i cried and told my partner my feelings on a bad day, and hy listened and reassured me genuinely that i had not done anything that was so bad

-let myself feel bad and realize it'll pass...

Quote:

Originally Posted by ruby_woo

I'm not sure if this belongs this in this thread, but I'm not sure where else to put it.

Do any of you have tips for when you're feeling not-so-positive?

This article pretty well sums up what it's like to be fat in a skinny, crunchy, yoga and snowboard loving town like Vancouver, and it gets really hard to remain positive at times. What do you do to be nice to yourself when you're feeling down?

falloutmk · 11-07-2012, 06:03 PM

As weird as it sounds I get made up pretty with makeup and get nude, I then look at myself and ask if I am really hideous on the outside... It's hard to say when you are wearing your favorite makeup combo for me at least no matter if I'm 180 pounds at that time in my life or 250lbs.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ruby_woo

I'm not sure if this belongs this in this thread, but I'm not sure where else to put it.

Do any of you have tips for when you're feeling not-so-positive?

This article pretty well sums up what it's like to be fat in a skinny, crunchy, yoga and snowboard loving town like Vancouver, and it gets really hard to remain positive at times. What do you do to be nice to yourself when you're feeling down?

Soft*Silver · 11-07-2012, 07:59 PM

actually thats a really good question! When i am not feeling good about my body, I do a meditation, where I focus on my breathing and in my focused breathing, I slide my thoughts over every part of my body until I feel myself "attach". I know when I am not feeling good about myself, I am so far removed from my body that I forget how important it is to me. So in meditation, I recommit to it. Breath in positive, breath out negative...each and every segment of my whole.

I also like someone else's idea of movement. I dont care if I am walking the dog, riding a horse, gardening, exercise, etc...if I move, I feel ME. The real me that exists in my flesh and blood and not in anyone's judgement, including my own.

I also love to do for me, when I need tenderness. I will lotion myself with my special oils or spray on that perfume i reserve for special occasions.

I also love to read, so I will read an inspirational biography. Someone I can relate to and who has relevance to whatever is getting in my way spiritually.

Speaking of, when we feel bad about ourselves, we sometimes are paying heed to lack of care. And spiritually, you cant do that for extended periods of time without spiritual repercussions. If you are feeling bad, you might need to figure out what you arent tending to for yourself and fix that.

Rarely does spending money fix my feelings. So shopping doesnt do it for me. It use to, but I fixed that gaping hole a long time ago...

Soft*Silver · 11-07-2012, 08:02 PM

where do i shop? Why at my store! One of the best things about my shop is that I carry all the lines for plus sizes...from Lane Bryant to Torrid to Catherines to....name it...

I have discovered I am a mix between Talbots and cowboy wear. With a bit of Torrid mixed in...

LeftWriteFemme · 12-06-2012, 11:18 AM

Hey, has anyone read this book?

[ame="http://www.amazon.com/Hot-Heavy-Fierce-Girls-Fashion/dp/1580054382"]Hot & Heavy: Fierce Fat Girls on Life, Love & Fashion: Virgie Tovar: 9781580054386: Amazon.com: Books[/ame]

Soft*Silver · 12-06-2012, 01:36 PM

I love that book, LeftWriteFemme! I am going to order a copy!

I have been so busy at the store! Manic-y almost! I took some of my customers to 11 different consignment stores in my area for a shop hop. We loaded up two separate cars and drove from 10am to 8PM! I am still hurting 3 days later! But, it was so worth it! Some were clothing stores, some furniture stores and some were knick knack stores. They bought alot of Christmas presents. And all were amazed at how few clothing consignment stores had our sizes..one half of one long rack in their big stores...made my store full of plus sizes even more special!

I am tired already and December just started. But to see people come in and be overjoyed finding pretty outfits for the holidays is amazing to me! They have such joy in their eyes when the right outfit is found! I can last thru this busy season!

My customers have started calling themselves The Pretties! I LOVE IT! Its not just one or two of them either! Its most of them! They are so proud of themselves now, and are finding such support for their esteems within the range of the shop!

Sometimes I am so happy I feel like I could split apart.

SaltyButch · 12-09-2012, 11:58 AM

This is in response to Ruby woo's question.....what do you do when you're not feeling so positive.....a great question. On any given day I could choose not to feel so good about myself, and some days it is a struggle. I have struggled with my weight my whole life, I don't see that it is going to change anytime soon....the difference is that I don't really care what others think now. Those days that aren't so positive, I will actually put on something that I feel good in and go out.....I walk with my head held high and strut my stuff...at the end of the day my body may not have changed but my attitude has been adjusted and I focus on things that are far more important.

10-27-2012, 02:52 PM	#2
NorCalStud Member How Do You Identify?: gaea's Daddy and Fiance Preferred Pronoun?: Ours Relationship Status: Engaged with gaea:-) Join Date: Sep 2010 Location: Island Mountain Posts: 440 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,630 Thanked 1,465 Times in 359 Posts Rep Power: 18918589	I must post that... I love big femmes....so deeply beautiful. So gorgeous. Be happy and be healthy and know you are HOT HEAVEN. __________________ "Love the questions" ...Rainier Marie Rilke...Letters to a young poet Che

11-01-2012, 08:21 PM	#3
princesskathie Junior Member How Do You Identify?: Sparkle Femme Preferred Pronoun?: she, babydoll, cutiepie, and angelpop all work just fine! Relationship Status: All kinds of twitterpated! Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: Raleigh, NC Posts: 29 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 86 Thanked 98 Times in 25 Posts Rep Power: 662889	I loooove being a big girl coz my fabulousness just won't fit into a small body, lolol! __________________ Princess Kathie Why try to fit in when you were born to stand out? If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve to have me at my best.

11-07-2012, 03:39 AM	#4
princesskathie Junior Member How Do You Identify?: Sparkle Femme Preferred Pronoun?: she, babydoll, cutiepie, and angelpop all work just fine! Relationship Status: All kinds of twitterpated! Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: Raleigh, NC Posts: 29 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 86 Thanked 98 Times in 25 Posts Rep Power: 662889	So what are your favorite places to shop online for big girl clothes?? __________________ Princess Kathie Why try to fit in when you were born to stand out? If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve to have me at my best.

11-07-2012, 07:59 PM	#7
SoftSilver Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: femme Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: Married Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: rose cottage Posts: 5,592 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 8,948 Thanked 15,895 Times in 4,062 Posts Rep Power*: 21474857	actually thats a really good question! When i am not feeling good about my body, I do a meditation, where I focus on my breathing and in my focused breathing, I slide my thoughts over every part of my body until I feel myself "attach". I know when I am not feeling good about myself, I am so far removed from my body that I forget how important it is to me. So in meditation, I recommit to it. Breath in positive, breath out negative...each and every segment of my whole. I also like someone else's idea of movement. I dont care if I am walking the dog, riding a horse, gardening, exercise, etc...if I move, I feel ME. The real me that exists in my flesh and blood and not in anyone's judgement, including my own. I also love to do for me, when I need tenderness. I will lotion myself with my special oils or spray on that perfume i reserve for special occasions. I also love to read, so I will read an inspirational biography. Someone I can relate to and who has relevance to whatever is getting in my way spiritually. Speaking of, when we feel bad about ourselves, we sometimes are paying heed to lack of care. And spiritually, you cant do that for extended periods of time without spiritual repercussions. If you are feeling bad, you might need to figure out what you arent tending to for yourself and fix that. Rarely does spending money fix my feelings. So shopping doesnt do it for me. It use to, but I fixed that gaping hole a long time ago... __________________ Pole bachit, a lis chuye. The field sees, the forest hears

11-07-2012, 08:02 PM	#8
SoftSilver Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: femme Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: Married Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: rose cottage Posts: 5,592 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 8,948 Thanked 15,895 Times in 4,062 Posts Rep Power*: 21474857	where do i shop? Why at my store! One of the best things about my shop is that I carry all the lines for plus sizes...from Lane Bryant to Torrid to Catherines to....name it... I have discovered I am a mix between Talbots and cowboy wear. With a bit of Torrid mixed in... __________________ Pole bachit, a lis chuye. The field sees, the forest hears

10-27-2012, 12:46 PM	#1
ruby_woo Member How Do You Identify?: queer femme Preferred Pronoun?: her/she Relationship Status: single Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Vancouver, BC Posts: 427 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,848 Thanked 1,939 Times in 376 Posts Rep Power: 17615392	I'm not sure if this belongs this in this thread, but I'm not sure where else to put it. Do any of you have tips for when you're feeling not-so-positive? This article pretty well sums up what it's like to be fat in a skinny, crunchy, yoga and snowboard loving town like Vancouver, and it gets really hard to remain positive at times. What do you do to be nice to yourself when you're feeling down?

12-06-2012, 11:18 AM	#9
LeftWriteFemme Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Daddy's good girl Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Jersey Posts: 16,642 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,529 Thanked 12,285 Times in 5,184 Posts Rep Power: 21474868	Hey, has anyone read this book? [ame="http://www.amazon.com/Hot-Heavy-Fierce-Girls-Fashion/dp/1580054382"]Hot & Heavy: Fierce Fat Girls on Life, Love & Fashion: Virgie Tovar: 9781580054386: Amazon.com: Books[/ame] __________________ Clicking on these dragon eggs will take you to my new erotic novella: Dragon Bait .........Hope you enjoy it! ________________________________________________ Please take a look at my work Click on flashing smilie to see my website To look at my Daddy/girl erotica book Click on pompom girl to see Elbows on the Table, Palms Flat

12-06-2012, 01:36 PM	#10
SoftSilver Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: femme Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: Married Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: rose cottage Posts: 5,592 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 8,948 Thanked 15,895 Times in 4,062 Posts Rep Power*: 21474857	I love that book, LeftWriteFemme! I am going to order a copy! I have been so busy at the store! Manic-y almost! I took some of my customers to 11 different consignment stores in my area for a shop hop. We loaded up two separate cars and drove from 10am to 8PM! I am still hurting 3 days later! But, it was so worth it! Some were clothing stores, some furniture stores and some were knick knack stores. They bought alot of Christmas presents. And all were amazed at how few clothing consignment stores had our sizes..one half of one long rack in their big stores...made my store full of plus sizes even more special! I am tired already and December just started. But to see people come in and be overjoyed finding pretty outfits for the holidays is amazing to me! They have such joy in their eyes when the right outfit is found! I can last thru this busy season! My customers have started calling themselves The Pretties! I LOVE IT! Its not just one or two of them either! Its most of them! They are so proud of themselves now, and are finding such support for their esteems within the range of the shop! Sometimes I am so happy I feel like I could split apart. __________________ Pole bachit, a lis chuye. The field sees, the forest hears

12-09-2012, 11:58 AM	#11
SaltyButch Member How Do You Identify?: Old School Butch Preferred Pronoun?: he/she/hey you..... Relationship Status: open to the possibilities Tournaments Won: 5 Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: mississauga ontario canada Posts: 345 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 432 Thanked 1,633 Times in 301 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	This is in response to Ruby woo's question.....what do you do when you're not feeling so positive.....a great question. On any given day I could choose not to feel so good about myself, and some days it is a struggle. I have struggled with my weight my whole life, I don't see that it is going to change anytime soon....the difference is that I don't really care what others think now. Those days that aren't so positive, I will actually put on something that I feel good in and go out.....I walk with my head held high and strut my stuff...at the end of the day my body may not have changed but my attitude has been adjusted and I focus on things that are far more important.