Are butches really a dying breed?

[LadyRieinAL]

nope, not from what I've been reading on these post - Butches - Stone - or otherwise, very much alive - um ummmmmm ummmmmmmm

[asphaltcowboi]

naw were all out here but we have been put on the friends list

[Duchess]

In my opinion, the only thing that's dying are all of the rules that were used to define a Butch's life.

• You have to be a top
• You have to be with a Femme
• You have to be head of household
• You can't bear children
• Etc.,etc.......

Makes me tired just thinking about it. Don't get me wrong. I'm not suggesting there's something wrong with the ideas I've listed nor am I suggesting that all Butches have felt the pressure to uphold a certain idea of what it means to be Butch. However, I have witnessed the torment in friends and a partner.

Cheers to living the life that truly makes you happy!!!

Duchess

[Sunny]

I am a Butch in a non-Femme area. I get double takes from women here all the time. They look at me thinking I am a guy. I am sure that if I encountered a Femme I would not know unless she flirted with me. Then again one is never really sure.
I had a woman come in to the store to pick out a watch and she kept asking me which one I liked. LOL She picked the one I said I liked and then told the cashier that I helped her pick out the watch. She had strong eye contact. I think she was just a straight woman liking my energy. Oh well, the life of a Butch.

[asphaltcowboi]

Originally Posted by Sunny

I am a Butch in a non-Femme area. I get double takes from women here all the time. They look at me thinking I am a guy. I am sure that if I encountered a Femme I would not know unless she flirted with me. Then again one is never really sure.
I had a woman come in to the store to pick out a watch and she kept asking me which one I liked. LOL She picked the one I said I liked and then told the cashier that I helped her pick out the watch. She had strong eye contact. I think she was just a straight woman liking my energy. Oh well, the life of a Butch.

i hear ya on that.. makes you wonder of shes a femme flirting with you, or if shes a strait woman mistaken you for a guy.. then you wonder maybe shes just a nice person to everyone? should you take the chance and ask her out? if shes a femme it might go well. if shes a straight woman thinking your a guy you get to spend the eve watchung her check out guys that come in and hope she doesnt try to feel you up! if she just a nice person to everyone youll prob have a nice date hearing about her high school sweet heart her mom her sis an that sort of thing.. hmm really want to take that chance? guess a dates a date!

[GraffitiBoi]

Originally Posted by asphaltcowboi

i hear ya on that.. makes you wonder of shes a femme flirting with you, or if shes a strait woman mistaken you for a guy.. then you wonder maybe shes just a nice person to everyone? should you take the chance and ask her out? if shes a femme it might go well. if shes a straight woman thinking your a guy you get to spend the eve watchung her check out guys that come in and hope she doesnt try to feel you up! if she just a nice person to everyone youll prob have a nice date hearing about her high school sweet heart her mom her sis an that sort of thing.. hmm really want to take that chance? guess a dates a date!

Been there. Done that. Sometimes it works out and sometimes it just becomes a story to share and laugh about with my brothers around the bonfire! LOL

[SelfMadeMan]

I have so many wonderful, amazing Butch friends that I adore, and I can assure you, they are NOT a dying breed!!! Butches have such a long, rich history, and are so important to the GLBT community, and I know I sure don't want to see that tossed by the wayside. I *hope* what's dying are the stereotypes and incorrect propaganda - that Butches all want to be FTM, and that all FTMs are ex-Butches... FTM and Butch are two different identities, and it makes me sad how much animosity there is between the two. So PLEASE, to all the Butches out there, don't feel like you aren't super important to this community, and don't feel unappreciated, because I KNOW I'm not the only one who loves and supports you!! (Plus Butches are hot)

[fever]

Originally Posted by asphaltcowboi

i hear ya on that.. makes you wonder of shes a femme flirting with you, or if shes a strait woman mistaken you for a guy.. then you wonder maybe shes just a nice person to everyone? should you take the chance and ask her out? if shes a femme it might go well. if shes a straight woman thinking your a guy you get to spend the eve watchung her check out guys that come in and hope she doesnt try to feel you up! if she just a nice person to everyone youll prob have a nice date hearing about her high school sweet heart her mom her sis an that sort of thing.. hmm really want to take that chance? guess a dates a date!

Well now, if a lovely femme smiles at you in Raleys or Trader Joes in N. Cal, it could be me!!!! So, please say hello. Lol

Candice the travelling femme

[Sun]

Just my .02 worth on this topic. I previously posted a longer comment on this issue.

The words "dying" and "Butch" in the same sentence make me uncomfortable first of all. I love my Butch friends dearly. Lots of women are interested in Butch folks. Trust me on this, I hear it all the time.

My experience is that there is no way to tell if a woman identifies as Femme, bi, lesbian..whatever and who knows if she is married, single, poly, looking..you know what? We over process this stuff. If a woman is making eye contact with you she is interested in something. Take a chance and talk to her. Reach out. It could be the best choice that you ever make.

[Kobi]

Originally Posted by Duchess

In my opinion, the only thing that's dying are all of the rules that were used to define a Butch's life.

• You have to be a top
• You have to be with a Femme
• You have to be head of household
• You can't bear children
• Etc.,etc.......

Makes me tired just thinking about it. Don't get me wrong. I'm not suggesting there's something wrong with the ideas I've listed nor am I suggesting that all Butches have felt the pressure to uphold a certain idea of what it means to be Butch. However, I have witnessed the torment in friends and a partner.

Cheers to living the life that truly makes you happy!!!

Duchess

Thank you for saying this.

Sometimes it feels we are a dying breed when, in reality, we are just morphing into ourselves, not adhering to preconceived notions or expectations, and doing experimenting of our own.

Defining oneself rather than being defined is very liberating and satisfying. Albeit, a bit confusing to some.

[WolfyOne]

We are truly not a dying breed
We come in different sizes, shapes, colors, but we are out there

I may not want to work on cars anymore at my age, but I will work a garden and mow a lawn for a partner, of course, I may want something in return, like an ice cold beer or iced tea or bottled water.

What I think is that with all the stereotyping, I'll use me, with my long hair, may or may not be seen as butch by some, others may embrace it. Seems for some reason some femmes can't see the butch and some butches cannot recognize the femme.

Wolfy, who would enjoy someone that sees me as I am

[Tommi]

Originally Posted by WolfyOne

We are truly not a dying breed
We come in different sizes, shapes, colors, but we are out there

I may not want to work on cars anymore at my age, but I will work a garden and mow a lawn for a partner, of course, I may want something in return, like an ice cold beer or iced tea or bottled water.

What I think is that with all the stereotyping, I'll use me, with my long hair, may or may not be seen as butch by some, others may embrace it. Seems for some reason some femmes can't see the butch and some butches cannot recognize the femme.

Wolfy, who would enjoy someone that sees me as I am

I love your long hair. I love you..., and when the right femme comes along, I'll screen her for my Brudder, a Butch who is comfortable in being just who you are. WolfyOne, No pretenses, just a strong moral character, and ...a what character at that.



You promised to do the same for me..

[WolfyOne]

Originally Posted by Tommi

I love your long hair. I love you..., and when the right femme comes along, I'll screen her for my Brudder, a Butch who is comfortable in being just who you are. WolfyOne, No pretenses, just a strong moral character, and ...a what character at that.



You promised to do the same for me..

My biggest bromance and advocate is you...my bestest brudder in the world.
Thank you for such kind words about me as you know, I love you back.

There is nothing in this world I would not do for you, short of killing anyone.

Sitting here, missing my bestie

[Angeltoes]

Based on what I've read, 12% of the population is gay..maybe that's wrong, but based on that say half of that is lesbian and we're talking about 6% of population. How much of that percentage even ascribes to the butch/femme dynamic...? Even if you say half, that's 3%, half femme and half butch, so 1.5% of the population is butch...in America? How many of those butches live in Boise, Idaho?

*crickets* Not very many.

Maybe the lesbian population is larger than that, but it seems to me that most women are looking for someone to join them and their man in a threeway. On this site we have lots of dreamy people, but in Boise I don't see butches looking for femmes for romance and commitment.

[Sun]

Originally Posted by Angeltoes

Based on what I've read, 12% of the population is gay..maybe that's wrong, but based on that say half of that is lesbian and we're talking about 6% of population. How much of that percentage even ascribes to the butch/femme dynamic...? Even if you say half, that's 3%, half femme and half butch, so 1.5% of the population is butch...in America? How many of those butches live in Boise, Idaho?

*crickets* Not very many.

Maybe the lesbian population is larger than that, but it seems to me that most women are looking for someone to join them and their man in a threeway. On this site we have lots of dreamy people, but in Boise I don't see butches looking for femmes for romance and commitment.

You are right, the Butch Femme world can appear to be very small. Even in some urban area's the number of people who "get" the dynamic can be few and far between.

I want to speak to your comment on people looking for romance and a commitment. My experience is that the "right" person can be anywhere. You will hear me tell friends to stay open to meeting someone who they have a spark with and not to let location stand in the way. Sure, some people think that is just crazy but if someone is serious, and really wants to get to know you, they will move heaven and earth to do so.

There are many people that have done just that. Some folks are not tied to location and can relocate to pursue a relationship if it seems like the right thing to do. Life is short and we do not always get the chance to meet someone wonderful in our backyard. Sometimes it requires moving 3,000 miles away and starting over. That is what risk is all about and in matters of romance and commitment, risk is a given.

So please do not lose hope that someone is out there for you. The wonderful thing about this community is, as you say, there are dreamy people here who have already taken a risk just by being here and letting us see a little bit of who they are.

The numbers are just numbers. You have a lot more than numbers all around you.

[Allison W]

Originally Posted by Angeltoes

Based on what I've read, 12% of the population is gay..maybe that's wrong, but based on that say half of that is lesbian and we're talking about 6% of population. How much of that percentage even ascribes to the butch/femme dynamic...? Even if you say half, that's 3%, half femme and half butch, so 1.5% of the population is butch...in America? How many of those butches live in Boise, Idaho?

*crickets* Not very many.

Maybe the lesbian population is larger than that, but it seems to me that most women are looking for someone to join them and their man in a threeway. On this site we have lots of dreamy people, but in Boise I don't see butches looking for femmes for romance and commitment.

Really? I thought it was actually less than 10%, but perhaps I'm the one who's wrong--I've been wrong before. (If straight/bi butch women count--big "if"--then your final result might increase a tiny little bit, but something tells me they aren't super-common either and are also not the ones looking for a third for a three-way.)

[Duchess]

I Wrote A Good Omelet


I wrote a good omelet...and ate
a hot poem... after loving you

Buttoned my car...and drove my
coat home...in the rain...
after loving you


I goed on red...and stopped on
green...floating somewhere in between...
being here and being there...
after loving you


I rolled my bed...turned down
my hair...slightly
confused but...I don't care...


Laid out my teeth...and gargled my
gown...then I stood
...and laid me down...


To sleep...
after loving you

Written by Nikki Giovanni

[Allison W]

...also in response to Angeltoes' post (sorry I didn't notice this in time to include it in my last reply):

http://www.butchfemmeplanet.com/foru...10&postcount=1

Props to Kobi for that post there.

[Sachita]

Originally Posted by Angeltoes

Based on what I've read, 12% of the population is gay..maybe that's wrong, but based on that say half of that is lesbian and we're talking about 6% of population. How much of that percentage even ascribes to the butch/femme dynamic...? Even if you say half, that's 3%, half femme and half butch, so 1.5% of the population is butch...in America? How many of those butches live in Boise, Idaho?

*crickets* Not very many.

Maybe the lesbian population is larger than that, but it seems to me that most women are looking for someone to join them and their man in a threeway. On this site we have lots of dreamy people, but in Boise I don't see butches looking for femmes for romance and commitment.

Thats 12% accounted for.

[*Anya*]

Originally Posted by Angeltoes

Based on what I've read, 12% of the population is gay..maybe that's wrong, but based on that say half of that is lesbian and we're talking about 6% of population. How much of that percentage even ascribes to the butch/femme dynamic...? Even if you say half, that's 3%, half femme and half butch, so 1.5% of the population is butch...in America? How many of those butches live in Boise, Idaho?

*crickets* Not very many.


Maybe the lesbian population is larger than that, but it seems to me that most women are looking for someone to join them and their man in a threeway.

On this site we have lots of dreamy people, but in Boise I don't see butches looking for femmes for romance and commitment.

Before I jump to any conclusions, I will give you the benefit of the doubt: did you just pack a couple of thoughts in one sentence?

I am referring to: "Maybe the lesbian population is larger than that, but it seems to me that most women are looking for someone to join them and their man in a threeway".

I am figuring you didn't mean lesbians were looking to join a straight couple in a three-way?

In regards to the scarcity of butches, I think that we need to get more creative in finding each other, since they don't generally knock on your door ( unless you invite them over).

Butches will never be a dying breed and neither will femmes; we are the other half of each other in this yin/yang dynamic that our souls need!