FTM place to vent and talk

[Greyson]

weatherboi, I am unsure if domestic violence and anger management issues are on the rise or if it is much more openly talked about in the Queer community. Back in the 80s I went into a Lesbian Recovery Residential Program in Los Angeles. There was an assumption that "Butches" were most likely the offenders in regards to violence and I have heard similar reasoning in regards to FTMs being excessively aggressive as a result of taking T.

I don't want to get into the blame game. I do want to bring these topics out of the closet and discussed openly. I have observed some cultural differences in what one might consider violence. I am not talking about physical violence. I am talking about things like yelling verses talking. Face gestures, body language.

Domestic Violence does exist in the LGBTQ Community. How can we change it? I don't think it is as easy as shunning a person or persons of a specific gender or gender expression. Abusers do not deserve to be placated with no consequences.I think there should be restitution by the abuser and rehabilitation for some, not all.

I suspect there are members here that have hit, and emotionally abused their partners. I do not believe that is necessarily something they want to examine and come out with it. BTW, a few years back there was a couple in Texas. It was a Transman that was charged with the murder of his femme partner. I believe they were members with many of us over on the old site. Did anyone ever follow up on this? Did our community learn anything from this tragedy?

Originally Posted by weatherboi

It is funny you bring up anger management and domestic violence. I recently heard of an acquaintance that is struggling and after asking around about resources and talking to friends have realized the need for resources tackling these very problems you mention. I believe but have no statistics to back it up that these problems may be on the rise within our community. It is definitely something to examine.

[weatherboi]

Greyson, I am unsure to, this is why I stated that I was merely guessing. I think it is a combination of both rising populations within the trans community and people are talking about it more hence the experience I spoke about. I stopped long ago allowing myself to feed into the myth that T makes guys aggressive, I am pretty sure that the abusive nature was there long before the T. I think that all genders can be perpetrators of domestic violence but since I am FTM I am gonna stick to my gender. I am not sure what you mean by the blame game. I do not see anybody here blaming anybody for anything when it comes to domestic violence and let me be perfectly clear. I won't take this space and use it as a place to try and debunk myths or truths that people are too scared to tackle. If we wanna talk about DV then let's stick to our gender. Cultural differences I can deal with but speaking about other genders here pertaining to domestic violence not so much. I don't know if I am comfortable speaking of that couple. It is a sensitive topic for many and some people here were friends with her.

Originally Posted by Greyson

weatherboi, I am unsure if domestic violence and anger management issues are on the rise or if it is much more openly talked about in the Queer community. Back in the 80s I went into a Lesbian Recovery Residential Program in Los Angeles. There was an assumption that "Butches" were most likely the offenders in regards to violence and I have heard similar reasoning in regards to FTMs being excessively aggressive as a result of taking T.

I don't want to get into the blame game. I do want to bring these topics out of the closet and discussed openly. I have observed some cultural differences in what one might consider violence. I am not talking about physical violence. I am talking about things like yelling verses talking. Face gestures, body language.

Domestic Violence does exist in the LGBTQ Community. How can we change it? I don't think it is as easy as shunning a person or persons of a specific gender or gender expression. Abusers do not deserve to be placated with no consequences.I think there should be restitution by the abuser and rehabilitation for some, not all.

I suspect there are members here that have hit, and emotionally abused their partners. I do not believe that is necessarily something they want to examine and come out with it. BTW, a few years back there was a couple in Texas. It was a Transman that was charged with the murder of his femme partner. I believe they were members with many of us over on the old site. Did anyone ever follow up on this? Did our community learn anything from this tragedy?

[Greyson]

weatherboi, my apologies. I was not implying any of the posts were doing the blame game. I want to try and stay away from that slippery slope. I do know I still have bruised feelings about things that took place 20 - 30 years ago and if I allow it, I can get into the "blame game" myself. I don't think expressing my anger about such perceived injustices, snarks really adds much to the talking, analysis, unpacking that we do here as a community. Again, my apologies. I was not saying you or anyone is "blaming."


As for a sensitive topic, I understand. You do not need to comment. I did not give their online names or their "real time" names. My point is I really want others who are newer to all of this, to get it, cut to the chase. These things can and do happen. Many of our conversations here are not based in make believe.

Originally Posted by weatherboi

Greyson, I am unsure to, this is why I stated that I was merely guessing. I think it is a combination of both rising populations within the trans community and people are talking about it more hence the experience I spoke about. I stopped long ago allowing myself to feed into the myth that T makes guys aggressive, I am pretty sure that the abusive nature was there long before the T. I think that all genders can be perpetrators of domestic violence but since I am FTM I am gonna stick to my gender. I am not sure what you mean by the blame game. I do not see anybody here blaming anybody for anything when it comes to domestic violence and let me be perfectly clear. I won't take this space and use it as a place to try and debunk myths or truths that people are too scared to tackle. If we wanna talk about DV then let's stick to our gender. Cultural differences I can deal with but speaking about other genders here pertaining to domestic violence not so much. I don't know if I am comfortable speaking of that couple. It is a sensitive topic for many and some people here were friends with her.