FTM place to vent and talk

Hominid · 10-30-2012, 10:50 PM

Now what?

We met on OKC, apparently she had been "looking" at me for several months - but has been moving, changing jobs, etc. and wasn't actively reaching out to anyone. She was one of my "mandatory" few that I send a message to a week. We met for breakfast - have talked on the phone a few times, and now we're going to the movies and dinner Saturday (not very original, but neither of us has been in a while and it's kind of retro).

Anyway, she is straight. Well, not really - well - she defines as straight but was with a few women over 8 years ago. She's never been with anyone trans, doesn't know anyone trans. She told me tonight she gets a little wobbly in the knees when we talk and has said nothing about my being trans or made no references to it ... which I admit is kind of nice.

That said, if we get that far (which won't be this week), how does one deal with sex? My ex and I had sex pretty much the same way after transition as before - and I was with a woman last year sexually who had been with butch lesbians so the "hardware" thing was just a given (hearkening to my comment about it being a little easier to date queer women). So, I mean, you're making out ... one thing leads to another ... then you excuse yourself? Do I talk about this very thing so when the time comes she's like "go upstairs honey, I'll be up in a minute" so I can be in bed already?

I plan to take my time, not rush into sex, but I'm curious about others' experiences with this delicate, embarrassing (to me) issue.

10-30-2012, 10:50 PM	#11
Hominid Member How Do You Identify?: Male with interesting historical perspective Relationship Status: Taking Applications Join Date: Jul 2012 Location: In perpetual Wonder. And Western Mass. Posts: 254 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 417 Thanked 753 Times in 187 Posts Rep Power: 11507408	Some sucker agreed to a date ... Now what? We met on OKC, apparently she had been "looking" at me for several months - but has been moving, changing jobs, etc. and wasn't actively reaching out to anyone. She was one of my "mandatory" few that I send a message to a week. We met for breakfast - have talked on the phone a few times, and now we're going to the movies and dinner Saturday (not very original, but neither of us has been in a while and it's kind of retro). Anyway, she is straight. Well, not really - well - she defines as straight but was with a few women over 8 years ago. She's never been with anyone trans, doesn't know anyone trans. She told me tonight she gets a little wobbly in the knees when we talk and has said nothing about my being trans or made no references to it ... which I admit is kind of nice. That said, if we get that far (which won't be this week), how does one deal with sex? My ex and I had sex pretty much the same way after transition as before - and I was with a woman last year sexually who had been with butch lesbians so the "hardware" thing was just a given (hearkening to my comment about it being a little easier to date queer women). So, I mean, you're making out ... one thing leads to another ... then you excuse yourself? Do I talk about this very thing so when the time comes she's like "go upstairs honey, I'll be up in a minute" so I can be in bed already? I plan to take my time, not rush into sex, but I'm curious about others' experiences with this delicate, embarrassing (to me) issue.