Third or Other Gender Butch

Greyson · 03-18-2010, 01:50 PM

Met, for a few years now I have been reading many of your posts. I am always drawn in by your words and thoughts.

I too have struggled internally with very similar feelings and thoughts. The struggle really heated up when I made the decision to transition. I do feel more at peace now but I wince each time I correct people to call me "He." It's true, I do prefer He when given the only binary option of he or she. However, I am neither.

For me when I state I am a Transman or a Transmasculine Butch it more clearly says who I believe myself to be. Thanks for keeping this discussion going and doing it with authenticity, patience and vulnerability.

Toughy · 03-18-2010, 06:13 PM

Met my friend.........

fuck 'em ........

be who you are.....we all have many twists and turns as we walk in this world.......the good and the painful........I figure we learn from everything that happens......change really is not a bad thing........I would much rather be a person who is grows than a person who never grows.

alex k · 03-18-2010, 07:20 PM

Please forgive me if i shouldnt be in this thread and feel free to move me along. I am in the process of atarting transition because i feel i don.t totally belong in the female gender. That being said i'm not 100% sure i belong in the male either. I'm probably 70/30 but its just enough to feel uncomfortable as a female. Saying that all my clothes etc and outward display is male. Maybe if gender fluid or third gender was more accepted the way bi sexual has come to be then i wouldnt feel the need to choose. But right now i do. Maybe after transition the odds will be down to 90/10 but think i will always be a part of both. And i'm hoping my psych doesnt read this- there goes my chances of surgery!

DapperButch · 03-18-2010, 11:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by alex k

Please forgive me if i shouldnt be in this thread and feel free to move me along. I am in the process of atarting transition because i feel i don.t totally belong in the female gender. That being said i'm not 100% sure i belong in the male either. I'm probably 70/30 but its just enough to feel uncomfortable as a female. Saying that all my clothes etc and outward display is male. Maybe if gender fluid or third gender was more accepted the way bi sexual has come to be then i wouldnt feel the need to choose. But right now i do. Maybe after transition the odds will be down to 90/10 but think i will always be a part of both. And i'm hoping my psych doesnt read this- there goes my chances of surgery!

Hi, Alex K.

Welcome to the thread! If you want to be here to talk about the "third gendered" or "other gendered" butch, than you belong here!

There are lots of guys that transition in some way physically or take T and still don't define as male. Sometimes people just want their bodies to match their mind, but that doesn't mean male or female or man or woman, necessarily.

Jess · 03-19-2010, 05:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by alex k

Please forgive me if i shouldnt be in this thread and feel free to move me along. I am in the process of atarting transition because i feel i don.t totally belong in the female gender. That being said i'm not 100% sure i belong in the male either. I'm probably 70/30 but its just enough to feel uncomfortable as a female. Saying that all my clothes etc and outward display is male. Maybe if gender fluid or third gender was more accepted the way bi sexual has come to be then i wouldnt feel the need to choose. But right now i do. Maybe after transition the odds will be down to 90/10 but think i will always be a part of both. And i'm hoping my psych doesnt read this- there goes my chances of surgery!

Hey alex,

Perhaps you may want to try asking questions and discussing any concerns you may have with folks on the trans threads. This is not to say you are not welcome here because you are more than welcome, but it concerns me that you are talking about transitioning before you are really sure that is what you want to do.

It may be a big help for you to talk to some of the guys who have been through and are going through that huge process before just jumping into it because being a female doesn't feel quite right to you at this moment. If being a man doesn't feel right either, perhaps you want to discuss it more before taking drastic steps.

I hope this finds you doing well! Keep talking about it!

Sorry, I just realized I quoted Dapper instead of alex and I'm not sure how to fix that to show alex's post.

Jett · 03-19-2010, 10:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jess

....snip....

Sorry, I just realized I quoted Dapper instead of alex and I'm not sure how to fix that to show alex's post.

Fixed

Metro

Jett · 03-21-2010, 11:52 AM

Body... since it's been brought up.

I do have some comfort and discomfort areas relating to mind and body connection (I know people often do but I'm relating this in the context of GQ/TG/3rdG).

I bind, and pack (though the packing varies) to sync body and mind more. I'm pretty small chested so it doesn't take any more than a high impact sports "bra" to almost completely flatten me out.

For me I wouldn't consider any degree of transition, because honestly I have enough genetic male or masculine physical markers to a point where I feel my body naturally reflects my balance in genderqueer-ness in it's already male/female appearance. Even my bone structure (facial etc.) is "heavy" with mixture of male - having large brow ridges, temporal lines, blunt fingers, robust bones etc... and female- curvature at the hips, narrower jaw line etc.... but it's actually a balance that is good with me (I think I would be a real challenge for a forensic anthropologist (gawd forbid). I also have a pretty deep voice on that side of things too and I pass pretty easily if desired.

Something perhaps worth mention. I did gain some weight back in 08' after my mom died and unfortunately it was mostly on my hips and chest... I was amazed how much that changed the appearance of my body, really threw my body away from my minds eye of where I feel ok with it in terms of what I desire to present with how I feel as genderqueer. Fortunately I've lost that weight and am back where I feel more comfortable.

I've definitely had some mirror moments (aside from the weight gain), but I think it's been along the lines of my own baggage, in my own ingrained social teachings of what we're "expected" to look like in a binary world. As I said I seem to physically fall more toward "middle". Vast majority of days though I'm happy with what I see, actually grateful because out of line with the binary or not... my body is fairly in line with my personal internal genderqueer.

Just thoughts for the day...

Metro

Jett · 03-19-2010, 12:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Greyson

Met, for a few years now I have been reading many of your posts. I am always drawn in by your words and thoughts.

I too have struggled internally with very similar feelings and thoughts. The struggle really heated up when I made the decision to transition. I do feel more at peace now but I wince each time I correct people to call me "He." It's true, I do prefer He when given the only binary option of he or she. However, I am neither.

For me when I state I am a Transman or a Transmasculine Butch it more clearly says who I believe myself to be. Thanks for keeping this discussion going and doing it with authenticity, patience and vulnerability.

I can say the same thing reading your thoughts over the years Greyson, and I'm glad you chimed in here.

Definitely hear you on the pronouns too, I've used Hy Hys Hym online for many years trying to at least indicate that "middle" feeling, but really don't get worked up over other pronouns.

My lady always called me "she" when we first met, but now she alternates them though I've never requested her to use any in particular, seems they just pop out back and forth at random (at first she said she surprised herself in doing so). It doesn't bother me, somehow seems like a kind of odd subconscious acknowledgment that she does see that genderqueer-ness in me.

Metro

03-18-2010, 01:50 PM	#1
Greyson Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Transmasculine/Non-Binary Preferred Pronoun?: Hy (Pronounced He) Relationship Status: Married Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: SF Bay Area Posts: 6,589 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 21,132 Thanked 8,153 Times in 2,006 Posts Rep Power: 21474858	Met, for a few years now I have been reading many of your posts. I am always drawn in by your words and thoughts. I too have struggled internally with very similar feelings and thoughts. The struggle really heated up when I made the decision to transition. I do feel more at peace now but I wince each time I correct people to call me "He." It's true, I do prefer He when given the only binary option of he or she. However, I am neither. For me when I state I am a Transman or a Transmasculine Butch it more clearly says who I believe myself to be. Thanks for keeping this discussion going and doing it with authenticity, patience and vulnerability. __________________ Sometimes you don't realize your own strength until you come face to face with your greatest weakness. - Susan Gale

03-18-2010, 06:13 PM	#2
Toughy Senior Member How Do You Identify?: pervert butch feminist woman Preferred Pronoun?: see above Relationship Status: independent entity Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Oakland Posts: 1,826 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,068 Thanked 7,653 Times in 1,522 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	Met my friend......... fuck 'em ........ be who you are.....we all have many twists and turns as we walk in this world.......the good and the painful........I figure we learn from everything that happens......change really is not a bad thing........I would much rather be a person who is grows than a person who never grows. __________________ We are everywhere We are different I do not care if resistance is futile I will not assimilate www.butchfemmesocials.com/

03-21-2010, 11:52 AM	#7
Jett Member How Do You Identify?: Hardcore bullheaded grown-ass Tomboy Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: she loves my shaggy hair Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: The backroom of a night cafe plotting world domination Posts: 1,028 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,054 Thanked 3,299 Times in 568 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	Body... since it's been brought up. I do have some comfort and discomfort areas relating to mind and body connection (I know people often do but I'm relating this in the context of GQ/TG/3rdG). I bind, and pack (though the packing varies) to sync body and mind more. I'm pretty small chested so it doesn't take any more than a high impact sports "bra" to almost completely flatten me out. For me I wouldn't consider any degree of transition, because honestly I have enough genetic male or masculine physical markers to a point where I feel my body naturally reflects my balance in genderqueer-ness in it's already male/female appearance. Even my bone structure (facial etc.) is "heavy" with mixture of male - having large brow ridges, temporal lines, blunt fingers, robust bones etc... and female- curvature at the hips, narrower jaw line etc.... but it's actually a balance that is good with me (I think I would be a real challenge for a forensic anthropologist (gawd forbid). I also have a pretty deep voice on that side of things too and I pass pretty easily if desired. Something perhaps worth mention. I did gain some weight back in 08' after my mom died and unfortunately it was mostly on my hips and chest... I was amazed how much that changed the appearance of my body, really threw my body away from my minds eye of where I feel ok with it in terms of what I desire to present with how I feel as genderqueer. Fortunately I've lost that weight and am back where I feel more comfortable. I've definitely had some mirror moments (aside from the weight gain), but I think it's been along the lines of my own baggage, in my own ingrained social teachings of what we're "expected" to look like in a binary world. As I said I seem to physically fall more toward "middle". Vast majority of days though I'm happy with what I see, actually grateful because out of line with the binary or not... my body is fairly in line with my personal internal genderqueer. Just thoughts for the day... Metro __________________ .......... In the depth of winter I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer. ~Albert Camus Last edited by Jett; 03-21-2010 at 12:37 PM. Reason: clarification

03-18-2010, 07:20 PM	#3
alex k Junior Member How Do You Identify?: trans male Preferred Pronoun?: anything other than she Relationship Status: well and truly caught Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: uk Posts: 15 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 12 Thanked 17 Times in 9 Posts Rep Power: 16	Please forgive me if i shouldnt be in this thread and feel free to move me along. I am in the process of atarting transition because i feel i don.t totally belong in the female gender. That being said i'm not 100% sure i belong in the male either. I'm probably 70/30 but its just enough to feel uncomfortable as a female. Saying that all my clothes etc and outward display is male. Maybe if gender fluid or third gender was more accepted the way bi sexual has come to be then i wouldnt feel the need to choose. But right now i do. Maybe after transition the odds will be down to 90/10 but think i will always be a part of both. And i'm hoping my psych doesnt read this- there goes my chances of surgery!