Everything you wanted to know about dating...

[SleepyButch]

Originally Posted by *Anya*

Funny post Ciaran, made me laugh out loud. Thanks

I started this thread for us to share about our dating experiences, to exchange tips and ideas, as well as for support.

This morning, I am also thinking about the not-so-fun side of dating.

There are many reasons why I honestly do not like dating. I look at it as a necessary "evil" ( just coining a phrase here folks-of course it is not evil at all).

Since "the one" is not going to just walk up and knock on our door uninvited, there is time and energy that goes into dating.

My hours at my job are now long. I rarely get a lunchtime (eat @ my desk) and breaks are a thing of my past.

When I get home @ 6 or 7, honestly, I am pretty done in. Chats on the phone in the evening, during the week are difficult for me.

What is really the hardest for me, is letting someone that is, on the face of it, a potentially wonderful partner know that the chemistry is not happening for me.

I find myself in this position with one of the women that I have been dating. We have had 3-4 dates because I wanted to be sure.

I absolutely hate to tell her somehow, someway. I did not want to tell her in a text, email or on the phone. That does not feel right to me. As hard as it is, I need to tell her in person and I am dreading it.

I know it is the right thing to do. Looking into someone's face and telling them, as nicely as I know how, "I am sorry but I don't feel it for you" or " "I don't feel that we/I have sexual chemistry together"?

I frankly could never, ever picture myself having sex with her.

How do I tell her? What do I say? What is the best way to stop dating someone and to preserve their self-esteem at the same time?

I have no idea. I think you can tell how often I have been in this position. I truly can't remember when.

Ideas? Suggestions?

Help!

The only thing I can say is that honesty really is the best way to go about anything even if it may hurt a bit. It's just finding the right way to do it. You could always just tell her that you really enjoy her company, assuming that you do, but that you think you are better off being ... (yes here comes that dreaded word that people who are dating hate to hear)... friends. You don't really have to say that you are not physically attracted to her unless she asks you why???

Or while you are out.. you could say.. hey.. I really cherish you as my friend.. ty for that.. or you are a really good friend to me.. something like that...lol.

Or I really enjoy your friendship, let's not ruin what we have by making this about sex.

Really, who am I to give anyone advice. Being an introvert myself, I am not very good at any of this.

I guess if I was dating someone and they were not physically attracted to me, I would want to know as soon as possible so that I would not bring any further romantic feelings into what we had. Just tell me... but don't say.. hey you are butt ugly (I know it's not always about looks) and you just don't do it for me. Say.. hey Sleepy... I really like you as my friend and I would like to continue growing just a friendship with you if you are okay with that.

Just a few thoughts anyway..