Attraction = physical, mental, emotional...

[key]

Originally Posted by softness

oh...and ears. I absolutely need to find their ears appealing. No, I am not kidding...

[Soft*Silver]

oh my pantalooms! NO!!!!! One: She is FEMME Two: Elf ears? NO! Three: they arent real...I need REAL ears...

omg...you made me laugh..I will be laughing in my sleep!

Originally Posted by key

[AtLast]

Originally Posted by key

Yanno... this makes sense to me! I happen to like feet a lot.... Ummm, toe cleavage, to be exact...

Got legs?

[Sachita]

Originally Posted by AtLastHome

Yanno... this makes sense to me! I happen to like feet a lot.... Ummm, toe cleavage, to be exact...

Got legs?

lol- I thought I was the only one that said toe cleavage. I have a serious foot fetish but it only really counts when someone is into it. Touching my feet sends me places... swoon

[Gemme]

Originally Posted by softness

there always has to be that spiritual connection..but it needs to be grounded in earthly things too. I cant be always living in the heavens. I am an earth girl as well. I need the balance between them. I like my partner to have a deep appreciation for himself...so that he doesnt need bolstered by me to feel good about himself. Thats not my job. I can be supportive...but I wont be the crutch.

I have alot of physical types I am attracted to. Best to define what I am not attracted to..and that is femininity.I do like masculinized energy in a partner. And while there was a time when I felt I would only be attracted to male IDd butches and transmen, I am really learning alot via the the threads here and it has opened my eyes in how I regard butches in general. So thank you to all the great posters over on those threads...

mentally I need someone who can have a good conversation with, but I dont need to feel like I am on the witness stand nor am I wanting to feel like I am a student of the "all knowing" or being silenced by overriding opinions. I want someone to listen and discuss...have sensitivity to my words, disagree when necessary and have a pleasant conversation even when we dont agree or see eye to eye. It can be done.

I also need humour in someone I date. I need to see them smile. I dont want someone who finds glee in pestering others, abusing their intelligence by making others feel less than and then reveling in it, and certainly no one who makes off color jokes..none of that will ever fly with me. I just want to read some good political comics together and enjoy a good laugh...or crack up over the noises a baby makes...

emotionally they need to be available and not shut down. Or divorced from their feelings. I am not chasing the stone cold Clint Eastwood cowboy anymore. I like-um with a warm heart and hands that reach out and heart that would hold mine next to it. I need a grown up love, one not so dependent on another that it cant function without a relationship. I am SO ok being single. I have been SO alone IN a relationship. I would rather be alone than lonely.

What makes my head turn to look twice at someone? Caring words spoken. Wisdom. Compassion. Intelligence. Self confidence. Pride without vanity. Open. As in, not closed off. Sensible. Adventurous. A smile with a wink.

the biggest turn on for me? Is someone who is Present to her/himself long before they think to be Present with me.

I relate very much to a lot of what you've said here and share your views.

Originally Posted by friskyfemme

I m a sucker for blonde hair blue-eyed, masculine stone butches. He needs to be a really good kisser. I judge going further with hime based on his kiss. I love the old fashion traditional manners. I love to discuss everything- from the day, world affairs, and the unknown. I need to have conversation not just nods of agreement or frowns of diagreement. I love to engage on opposing views as long as it remains friendly. I am very Spiritual and practice my belief system in my daily life. Sharing and respecting are manditory with me. My guy has to be 100% into me. I want him to do little things without prodding as I do for him. He needs to be patient, kind, and love me.

Is that too much to ask for?

It's not too much, I think.

I put a lot of emphasis on my partner's ability to please me with his kissing as well. To me, how a person kisses tells a LOT about how they make love/fuck/have sex/do the nasty/whatever you want to do.

I also relate to most of what you've said here. I prefer butches or transguys with darker hair though. *impish grin*

[Mister Bent]

Without a brilliant, engaging, provocative mind, there is nothing for me.

The rest would be irrelevant.

[moxie]

Originally Posted by Mister Bent

Without a brilliant, engaging, provocative mind, there is nothing for me.

The rest would be irrelevant.

I agree. If someone cannot stimulate me intellectually then it is pointless for me.

Looks are important and I have aspects I am attracted to like butch/FtM, smells good, wears great shoes...but it's "everything else" about the person tends to make them more attractive to me. It can also make someone less attractive. If you don't have similar values like kindness, politeness, respect, honesty and the all-important traits like a witty, somewhat dry sense of humour, knows how government works (odd I know), cares about what is going on in their neighborhood and all over the world, and treats others how they would expect to be treated then it won't work.

I have met some really gorgeous people on the outside that aren't so pleasant on the inside and it ruins everything.

[Soft*Silver]

I really thought more on this and I think that something that is very attractive to me is if someone really knows how to date. I dont mean fall in love and sweep me off my feet. If they tried that at this point in my life I would run in the opposite direction! But I mean, the build up, the carry through, the Presence of Self or Thought. I have given so much of that to others...I really want someone who can give it back to me, without coaxing or teaching. I am past needing to be a teacher. I want a learned Soul who can dance the slowest sweetest longest dance of the evening with me....that moment of warmth and musk, of tenderness and heat, of a soft brush of their face on mine, their hand right "there" in the curve of my back that responds and yet he has never ....

yes...someone who engages fully in the dance...with me...

that the kind of dating I am looking for....(and yes you can so do that long distance...)

[Soft*Silver]

[QUOTE=puregrrl;70895.

I have met some really gorgeous people on the outside that aren't so pleasant on the inside and it ruins everything.[/QUOTE]

I have dated some incredibly handsome people. Some were just as beautiful inside as they were outside. Some werent. Some were just hurting and it darkened their insides. I also dated plain folks too who were so luminisce inwardly...they lit up when they smiled, which was often. Looks last, with me, a millisecond. I want to stand energy to energy and see if we can feel the connection...