Poly Relationships

[QueenofSmirks]

Originally Posted by Ms. Meander

Is anyone interested in picking up the discussion? I have been making some changes in how I approach intimate relationships and dating, and feel I could use some support and/or just a place to talk it out.

After some unsuccessful poly dabbling in my youth I gave it up for years of serial monogamy. The draw toward polyamory has never left me, though. And as I get older and grow wiser in so many other areas of my life, it seems more and more possible, no - necessary, for me to explore further. I feel entirely confident of my own ability to handle it well. I have a lot of self awareness, good communication skills, the ability to self-care, and I play well with others.

One thing is for certain: that I will be very selective about who I decide to become involved with. I need to be certain that others are meeting me on the same level, that we truly have something healthy to offer each other. I have lived and grown through too much bullshit to allow myself to get sucked into anyone else's emotional immaturity.

All of that said --- the adventure has already begun as I have recently begun to date someone who has a full poly lifestyle, with a primary, secondary, and play partners. It remains to be seen where I will fit in, if anywhere, but right now I am really enjoying her company and the overall experience. I am having my first opportunities to experience myself in relation to sharing and division of time. So far, it feels pretty good. I personally require so much time to myself that it is a relief not to feel pressured to be available all the time. And I know when I do see her I will cherish it all the more for the effort made to carve out special time just for us.

So, I think I've made a good start! I welcome any input.

Ms Meander, first of all, congratulations on your new journey I can truly relate to the first part of the sentence I highlighted in your post - it's one of the things I recognized about myself at some point, and is a fundamental component of why I am poly. However, I find at times I have to reassert those boundaries so that I *can* have time to myself.

I have more to say, but I have to be out the door in 30 minutes, so will continue later!