Poly Relationships

[Ms. Meander]

I am curious to hear other people's points of view about kissing on the mouth in regards to polyamorous relationships. For some it is a safer sex issue, for others it is an intimacy issue, and for still others it seems to be no issue at all.

Under what circumstances is it okay or not okay for you and your partners, and why?

[Sachita]

Originally Posted by Ms. Meander

I am curious to hear other people's points of view about kissing on the mouth in regards to polyamorous relationships. For some it is a safer sex issue, for others it is an intimacy issue, and for still others it seems to be no issue at all.

Under what circumstances is it okay or not okay for you and your partners, and why?

I don't kiss on the mouth anyone but my primary lover. Kissing is a very intimate and sacred act for me. But I am told when I get drunk I want to kiss everyone! lol I don't get drunk that often and certainly not around a lot of people I think I might want to kiss!

[Sachita]

But I do think that if there are a few in a committed relationship that kissing would be ok. I know there are poly relationships where there is emotions but rules on physical, sexual contact. If I had a few slaves, which is the only way I'd be interested in poly, they would belong to me and have to keep to my rules. This would also mean when it came to any level of intimacy.

Ms Meander I can feel the excitement in your sexual liberation and I'm excited for you. I know how hard it is when your friends and family want to judge you or they don't understand why you want certain things. I would say the best solution is happiness and to live by example. When people see that you are happy they suddenly don't care. If anything they become curious.

[girl_dee]

Syr and i are only intimate with each other so kissing others is a non issue.

i am glad that Syr allows for an open forum in Her household. Yes She sets the tone, the rules, the bylaws and i appreciate that. You can ask just about anything, sometimes the answer is no, sometimes yes. If it's no and you proceed anyway, you've cut your own throat so to speak.

If there is something that needs fine tuning, we talk. She mostly just asks for us to be peaceful and figure things out as best we can. There are some things She etches in stone. Some things we can tweak to meet a happy medium. We are also partners so we have many levels here. We are in this for the long haul, and Syr wants me to be happy.

She also understands that if She were to say *My way or the highway* on every single issue, i would feel voiceless and shut down. i love that even as a slave i have a voice, i may not always get the answer i am seeking, and often get reality checks, but She leads from a place of love and respect. It's hard not to want to be the very best i can be and please Her with my submission.

[LoyalWolfsBlade]

Originally Posted by Ms. Meander

I am curious to hear other people's points of view about kissing on the mouth in regards to polyamorous relationships. For some it is a safer sex issue, for others it is an intimacy issue, and for still others it seems to be no issue at all.

Under what circumstances is it okay or not okay for you and your partners, and why?

This is the third attempt I have made to answer your question Ms. Meander..I seem to keep being pulled away each time I have sat down to answer it. I actually found it a rather interesting question and wanted to add how I handle and think about the topic.
First I consider kissing to be one of the most intimate things you can do with a person. I never kiss "play partners" it is just a non-issue and something I have lived by because of what the act of kissing means.
In the polyamorous relationships I have been in the past it was a non-issue because well simply because I made the rules and I was the only dominant involved. So yes I kissed the women I was in a relationship with. Then again we all lived under the same roof.
Now though I am finding myself in polyamorous relationships where we do not live under the same roof and I am starting to ask myself that very question. Where does kissing play a part in each relationship and how do I or should I handle such an intimate act/subject? Like everything else I think it should be discussed..openly and honestly. I also think it will depend on who the other people are, if I know them or not. It will also depend on how many are involved.
I will need to be able to kiss my primary partner. I need that level of intimacy. Yet, there will be other things to consider so it is not as simple or as easy to answer as I first thought it would be. When I sat down to answer how I felt about kissing in polyamorous relationships that involve me.

[Ms. Meander]

Originally Posted by AlixKnight4All

This is the third attempt I have made to answer your question Ms. Meander..I seem to keep being pulled away each time I have sat down to answer it. I actually found it a rather interesting question and wanted to add how I handle and think about the topic.
First I consider kissing to be one of the most intimate things you can do with a person. I never kiss "play partners" it is just a non-issue and something I have lived by because of what the act of kissing means.
In the polyamorous relationships I have been in the past it was a non-issue because well simply because I made the rules and I was the only dominant involved. So yes I kissed the women I was in a relationship with. Then again we all lived under the same roof.
Now though I am finding myself in polyamorous relationships where we do not live under the same roof and I am starting to ask myself that very question. Where does kissing play a part in each relationship and how do I or should I handle such an intimate act/subject? Like everything else I think it should be discussed..openly and honestly. I also think it will depend on who the other people are, if I know them or not. It will also depend on how many are involved.
I will need to be able to kiss my primary partner. I need that level of intimacy. Yet, there will be other things to consider so it is not as simple or as easy to answer as I first thought it would be. When I sat down to answer how I felt about kissing in polyamorous relationships that involve me.

I agree that kissing is an act of intimacy. An act of intimacy that is important to me and I enjoy greatly. Most people I'm talking to agree that one does not kiss their play partners. Makes sense to me. But it seems to get more tricky when it comes to multiple intimate relationships, as you are noticing, yourself. If there are rules around kissing they often have to do with keeping that particular act between primaries. I understand this too.

When I'm thinking of myself in relation to this topic I have a lot of questions. First, I don't know what kind of relationship structure will ultimately work best for me. What if I decide not to pursue a primary relationship of my own and am content to be the second or third to others -- and then they all have agreements only to kiss their primaries? Who do I get to kiss? Obviously there are potential solutions to this but these are the sorts of questions that pop up.

I find it useful to hear other people's thoughts and experiences as I form my understandings and opinions on these topics. I thank you all for playing along!

[girl_dee]

Originally Posted by Ms. Meander

I agree that kissing is an act of intimacy. An act of intimacy that is important to me and I enjoy greatly. Most people I'm talking to agree that one does not kiss their play partners. Makes sense to me. But it seems to get more tricky when it comes to multiple intimate relationships, as you are noticing, yourself. If there are rules around kissing they often have to do with keeping that particular act between primaries. I understand this too.

When I'm thinking of myself in relation to this topic I have a lot of questions. First, I don't know what kind of relationship structure will ultimately work best for me. What if I decide not to pursue a primary relationship of my own and am content to be the second or third to others -- and then they all have agreements only to kiss their primaries? Who do I get to kiss? Obviously there are potential solutions to this but these are the sorts of questions that pop up.

I find it useful to hear other people's thoughts and experiences as I form my understandings and opinions on these topics. I thank you all for playing along!

i think it's great that people address these things BEFOREHAND. While one may think kissing is no big deal, someone else feels it's as intimate as sex.

[Martina]

Originally Posted by girl_dee

Syr and i are only intimate with each other so kissing others is a non issue.

You've said many times you had a spirit sister wife?

[Sachita]

Originally Posted by Martina

You've said many times you had a spirit sister wife?

I wondered the same thing.

[Medusa]

Originally Posted by Martina

You've said many times you had a spirit sister wife?

Martina-

You were instructed on November 17th during a moderation by June to put dee on ignore and not to engage with her any further.

This was not an optional request and we are not going to devote any more energy to keeping you from posting to her or after her when we've been clear of our expectations.

You are now on a 2-week time-out. During that time you are not to access the site or the Facebook pages of any of the Admins or Moderators.

Thanks,
Medusa

[LoyalWolfsBlade]

Originally Posted by Ms. Meander

I agree that kissing is an act of intimacy. An act of intimacy that is important to me and I enjoy greatly. Most people I'm talking to agree that one does not kiss their play partners. Makes sense to me. But it seems to get more tricky when it comes to multiple intimate relationships, as you are noticing, yourself. If there are rules around kissing they often have to do with keeping that particular act between primaries. I understand this too.

When I'm thinking of myself in relation to this topic I have a lot of questions. First, I don't know what kind of relationship structure will ultimately work best for me. What if I decide not to pursue a primary relationship of my own and am content to be the second or third to others -- and then they all have agreements only to kiss their primaries? Who do I get to kiss? Obviously there are potential solutions to this but these are the sorts of questions that pop up.

I find it useful to hear other people's thoughts and experiences as I form my understandings and opinions on these topics. I thank you all for playing along!

Actually Ms. Meander I think you are going about this the right way. I sure wish I had access to a site like this and others with different experiences when I first discovered Poly relationships.
At least you have questions and are trying to find answers to them for you and the type of relationship you may get into. I have found it is easier and better to have the answer to my questions before I get into the situation. As long as I keep in mind that each relationship is different and I may have over looked a possible answer. That is why communication, open and honest communication, is always key. Even with the who to kiss question...as my relationships change I continue the communication so that needs are being met or hopefully met.

I thank you for asking the questions...it helps me know where I stand today compared to years ago when I began this process.

[Ms. Meander]

Originally Posted by Sachita

Ms Meander I can feel the excitement in your sexual liberation and I'm excited for you. I know how hard it is when your friends and family want to judge you or they don't understand why you want certain things. I would say the best solution is happiness and to live by example. When people see that you are happy they suddenly don't care. If anything they become curious.

Thank you for sharing in my excitement! It is a sexual liberation of sorts. It is also, perhaps more so, a mental, emotional, and even spiritual liberation. For many years I have been trying to jam myself into boxes which did not fit me. And because I am now healthy, strong, grounded, and confident -- so much more is possible. Including the ability to explore different ways of having relationships that are healthy and meaningful.
I think you are right, anyone who observes me for a little while will come to see that whatever I am doing is working for me, and maybe even be happy for me whether they understand it or not.

[Sachita]

Originally Posted by Ms. Meander

Thank you for sharing in my excitement! It is a sexual liberation of sorts. It is also, perhaps more so, a mental, emotional, and even spiritual liberation. For many years I have been trying to jam myself into boxes which did not fit me. And because I am now healthy, strong, grounded, and confident -- so much more is possible. Including the ability to explore different ways of having relationships that are healthy and meaningful.
I think you are right, anyone who observes me for a little while will come to see that whatever I am doing is working for me, and maybe even be happy for me whether they understand it or not.

I've done the box cramming thing. It's hard when you don't fit into any. It's been a spiritual journey for me too. My sexual liberation and being ok with who I am even when people think I'm a freak.

My family and very close friends know just about everything about me. Including my mom. She use to have a bad habit of getting past the guard at the gate and letting herself in. One day she walked in on something she didn't want to see! lol It broke her of that habit. Being queer was something everyone accepted right away and I've always been queer but I kept adding layer on. But I must say they accept me and only want me to be happy. I couldn't imagine not sharing my adopted family with my real family.

[SFvince64]

Originally Posted by Ms. Meander

I am curious to hear other people's points of view about kissing on the mouth in regards to polyamorous relationships. For some it is a safer sex issue, for others it is an intimacy issue, and for still others it seems to be no issue at all.

Under what circumstances is it okay or not okay for you and your partners, and why?

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I've been in poly relationships in the past but I find that dynamic doesn't work too well for me. As a Daddy & Dominant, I prefer to be a priority and not an option.

When in a D/s relationship, my girl & I don't kiss others outside of our connection. It's intimate and special to me and not something I want to share outside of my romantic commitment.

However, when I'm single and playing with someone particularly hot who is likewise, unattached, I may ask for permission to kiss. I'm a good kisser and enjoy kissing, so sometimes it is an option when negotiating play with someone else who is single. I, of course, respect their boundaries and don't feel upset or slighted if no kissing is allowed.