![]() |
|
![]() |
#1 | |
Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
Queer Femme Relationship Status:
Ethical Nonmonogamist Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: The Mountains
Posts: 1,520
Thanks: 4,706
Thanked 5,214 Times in 1,147 Posts
Rep Power: 21474852 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
![]() Quote:
When I'm thinking of myself in relation to this topic I have a lot of questions. First, I don't know what kind of relationship structure will ultimately work best for me. What if I decide not to pursue a primary relationship of my own and am content to be the second or third to others -- and then they all have agreements only to kiss their primaries? Who do I get to kiss? Obviously there are potential solutions to this but these are the sorts of questions that pop up. I find it useful to hear other people's thoughts and experiences as I form my understandings and opinions on these topics. I thank you all for playing along!
__________________
My wish for you is that you continue. Continue to be who and how you are, to astonish a mean world with your acts of kindness. Continue to allow humor to lighten the burden of your tender heart. - Maya Angelou |
|
![]() |
![]() |
The Following User Says Thank You to Ms. Meander For This Useful Post: |
![]() |
#2 | |
Practically Lives Here
How Do You Identify?:
Femme Preferred Pronoun?:
dee Relationship Status:
Hitched up Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Livin’ the Dream
Posts: 24,079
Thanks: 30,560
Thanked 54,833 Times in 13,908 Posts
Rep Power: 21474873 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
![]() Quote:
i think it's great that people address these things BEFOREHAND. While one may think kissing is no big deal, someone else feels it's as intimate as sex. |
|
![]() |
![]() |
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to girl_dee For This Useful Post: |
![]() |
#3 |
Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
. Preferred Pronoun?:
. Relationship Status:
. Join Date: May 2010
Location: .
Posts: 2,199
Thanks: 1,527
Thanked 7,762 Times in 1,881 Posts
Rep Power: 21474854 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
![]()
Kissing... Highly sensual, highly erotic.
I'd never deprive a partner the opportunity to kiss someone they're dating as long as all those affected are aware of it and okay with it. Fondling, sex... On the other hand, is different. You can come home and tell me, "hey, I grabbed .. and kissed them.". My response? Did you have fun....? You come home and tell me, "hey, I slept with.." and my response will be WTF?! Things happen. I get that. I'm very forgiving. Just communicate with me. Beforehand preferably. |
![]() |
![]() |
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to DamonK For This Useful Post: |
![]() |
#4 |
Member
How Do You Identify?:
queer stone femme shark baby girl Preferred Pronoun?:
she, her, little one Relationship Status:
dating myself. ![]() Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: dallas, tx
Posts: 1,495
Thanks: 13,823
Thanked 6,442 Times in 1,288 Posts
Rep Power: 21474851 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
![]()
for me, if i want to be with someone, then usually i want to be emotionally intimate with them as well as physically, and that can involve kissing. so we don't have rules or boundaries around that.
|
![]() |
![]() |
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to aishah For This Useful Post: |
![]() |
#5 |
Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
Queer Femme Relationship Status:
Ethical Nonmonogamist Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: The Mountains
Posts: 1,520
Thanks: 4,706
Thanked 5,214 Times in 1,147 Posts
Rep Power: 21474852 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
![]()
Wow, thank you all for the thoughtful responses. Even though I've had some experience with polyamory in the past, and have continuously had some poly people somewhere in my sphere, I am throwing everything I thought I knew out the window and starting from scratch. Because my former perceptions were based in different types of biases, which limited me.
I was apprehensive about sharing openly here and still am, a little - but mostly out of habit. I've never been one to share too deeply in the forums because I had a lot of wounds that needed protecting. Now that they are healed, I am finding my voice, my liberation. And I am very grateful to have a place to share and wonder. Thank you.
__________________
My wish for you is that you continue. Continue to be who and how you are, to astonish a mean world with your acts of kindness. Continue to allow humor to lighten the burden of your tender heart. - Maya Angelou |
![]() |
![]() |
The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to Ms. Meander For This Useful Post: |
![]() |
#6 | |
Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
Alpha Femme Preferred Pronoun?:
Goddess Relationship Status:
Completely in love Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Southern Virginia
Posts: 3,225
Thanks: 2,564
Thanked 8,994 Times in 2,247 Posts
Rep Power: 21474855 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
![]() Quote:
My journey for liberation wasn't about the type of sex I wanted to have, being queer or the many other things I engaged in. It was about being a woman and being whatever kind of woman I wanted to be. Not a mold from the society I was born into. It's a brave person who follows the beat of their own drum. Not an easy thing but the most fulfilling to your spirit.
__________________
You either like me or you don't. It took me Twenty-something years to learn how to love myself, I don't have that kinda time to convince somebody else.
~ Daniel Franzese |
|
![]() |
![]() |
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Sachita For This Useful Post: |
![]() |
#7 | |
Practically Lives Here
How Do You Identify?:
Femme Preferred Pronoun?:
dee Relationship Status:
Hitched up Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Livin’ the Dream
Posts: 24,079
Thanks: 30,560
Thanked 54,833 Times in 13,908 Posts
Rep Power: 21474873 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
![]() Quote:
Yes good for you. IMO ALL Poly relationships are unique. Ours certainly is! One size does not fit all so you either have to join a family that suits you or build one that suits you. Ours has had some shifts but our foundation is rock solid with Syr at the helm. My biggest gripe is that people assume that poly = free for all sex/play for everyone. The Head of the Household has sex with anyone, everyone, whenever they want. That could be true for some but not all. |
|
![]() |
![]() |
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to girl_dee For This Useful Post: |
![]() |
#8 |
Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
Queer Femme Relationship Status:
Ethical Nonmonogamist Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: The Mountains
Posts: 1,520
Thanks: 4,706
Thanked 5,214 Times in 1,147 Posts
Rep Power: 21474852 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
![]()
I am having some interesting and growth provoking experiences already in my journey into polyamory. Because this is all new and I started out single, I am mostly just dating. I could be called a solo polyamorist. What makes my situation different then just plain dating is that am open to multiple lovers and open to the possibilities of those relationships evolving into something deeper and long-lasting. The people I become involved with must understand and agree to these terms. I love the openness and clarity of it all. I am challenged to put my communication skills to work in ways that are still unfamiliar and a little uncomfortable at times, just because it is new. But the result is satisfying.
There have been a couple of bumps in the road already, that are being overcome. An ongoing lover who I believe to have longer-term potential is a very busy person and I got lost in the shuffle over the holidays, there was miscommunication when she thought we had spoken about something when in fact, I was left dangling. I didn't like it and I had to let her know. It was awkward for me but I did it and I'm glad I did. She's sorry and feels badly that the circumstances did not reflect my importance to her. I am valuable. My time is valuable. My relationships need to reflect that. It was also awkward for me to tell her that I'm about to go on a date with someone new. All of this openness is not second-nature. Society breeds it out of us and we have to work hard to re-learn it. So glad I'm making the effort.
__________________
My wish for you is that you continue. Continue to be who and how you are, to astonish a mean world with your acts of kindness. Continue to allow humor to lighten the burden of your tender heart. - Maya Angelou Last edited by Ms. Meander; 01-02-2013 at 05:50 AM. |
![]() |
![]() |
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Ms. Meander For This Useful Post: |
![]() |
|
|