Infidelity

Andrew, Jr. · 03-25-2010, 01:21 PM

Women cheat just like men do. It isn't just one sided, and that is the impression I am getting reading this thread.

Nobody knows what happens in a relationship between a couple. That is between them. Alot of debate can go on about how their passion has fizzled, both are working long hours, one bought a new car while so and so needs one, then the kids, and on and on. All this is - is an educated guess. That is all it is. The truth lies with the couple. Maybe they have decided to part ways. Who's business is it? Not mine. Not yours. That is gossip. And it's wrong imho.

I think of the saying, and forgive me I am not sure of how it actually reads, but it is something along the lines like "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned" aka it is payback time. That is not what life is about.

SuperFemme · 03-25-2010, 01:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Andrew, Jr.

Women cheat just like men do. It isn't just one sided, and that is the impression I am getting reading this thread.

Nobody knows what happens in a relationship between a couple. That is between them. Alot of debate can go on about how their passion has fizzled, both are working long hours, one bought a new car while so and so needs one, then the kids, and on and on. All this is - is an educated guess. That is all it is. The truth lies with the couple. Maybe they have decided to part ways. Who's business is it? Not mine. Not yours. That is gossip. And it's wrong imho.

I think of the saying, and forgive me I am not sure of how it actually reads, but it is something along the lines like "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned" aka it is payback time. That is not what life is about.

Ummm. I think you may be reading something I am not? Just a thought.

Gemme · 03-25-2010, 01:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Random

For me.. you hit it on the nail... It's the dishonesty, the lies.. It effects not only the pair bonding but your trust in yourself... How did I not see that this person was capible of this? How did I not see the signs.. Then there is the ever famous... *I know that xxxx loved me beyond words, I know that is true.. I would have bet my life that they would never lie to me.. Never willingly hurt me... If they could do this to me, being who they are, then how can I trust anyone ever to be honest with me again? How can I belive in a world where the only truth was a lie?*

It shifts your world view and changes who you are...

I know for me... It wasn't all bad.. It made me grow up and see the world as it is.. It made me aware, made me self reliant.. it turned me into someone who is mistress of her own house, her own heart... Lol.. It turned the princess into a Queen...

Exactly. The rose colored glasses come off and, for me, I haven't been the same. I've been made more aware like you, but haven't quite evolved to the point that I don't carry around that suspicion, though it is buried deep. And, it's not necessarily a 'he's going to cheat on me' thing. It's a general distrust of my partners, which of course, is not good in any situation.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Random

I don't think this is always the case..

If someone is a serial cheater, then that is one thing... But I think at times, people just don't know how to remove themselves from relationships.. You know the entire.. *I don't want to hurt her* but the silly thing is.. It's going to hurt either way... In my mind.. do it quickly, do it bluntly, do it clean...

...like a Bandaid.

I do, however, believe once someone has traveled a road once, then that path is much easier to follow in the future. This applies to all aspects of our sordid human nature, not just infidelity.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Linus

Agreed. I did have a partner who cheated on me and one who was already moving on before we broken up. That said, I believe that they are faithful to the partners they are with now and are happier. I had tried to resolve things with a partner who had cheated on me but I've found once it's done, it's hard to trust again. It is certainly my own issue (I'll admit to lingering trust and abandonment issues) but it's an issue nonetheless.

I find it frustrating in that if the person had spoken to me about whatever had caused them to stray we could have either resolved together to separate amicably or entered into a poly relationship (if all parties were inclined and opened for that).

Today, if it is happens, the existing relationship will be over and I'll be moving on. Given my previous experience and knowing myself I know it'll be better in the long run.

The cheating partner assumes they know the other so well that they make the decision of how things are going to progress for the couple. Maybe the other partner might have been open to an open relationship, with pro-safe sex parameters I'd hope, or polygamy. I really don't like it when my options or choices are taken away from me before I have been made aware of them.

Quote:

Originally Posted by I'mOneToo

hmm has there ever been a case of same-sex decisions that are similar?

Highly unlikely, given that we don't have the right to marry or share custody in many states. Interesting thought, though.

Quote:

Originally Posted by SuperFemme

I should have stuck to the only four words that matter to me regarding cheating: I'll cut a bitch.

I love you.

Apocalipstic · 03-25-2010, 01:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Andrew, Jr.

Women cheat just like men do. It isn't just one sided, and that is the impression I am getting reading this thread.

Nobody knows what happens in a relationship between a couple. That is between them. Alot of debate can go on about how their passion has fizzled, both are working long hours, one bought a new car while so and so needs one, then the kids, and on and on. All this is - is an educated guess. That is all it is. The truth lies with the couple. Maybe they have decided to part ways. Who's business is it? Not mine. Not yours. That is gossip. And it's wrong imho.

I think of the saying, and forgive me I am not sure of how it actually reads, but it is something along the lines like "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned" aka it is payback time. That is not what life is about.

Both sexes cheat. What I am saying is that it is more honorable to break up first...or to just be poly in the first place.

I know every single person I mentioned in my posts is a woman. Not one single man.

But we don't have to agree.

SuperFemme · 03-25-2010, 01:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by apocalipstic

Both sexes cheat. What I am saying is that it is more honorable to break up first...or to just be poly in the first place.

I know every single person I mentioned in my posts is a woman. Not one single man.

But we don't have to agree.

Butches cheat, Femmes cheat, in fact the only species that doesn't for sure I think is the goose. Shrug.

Apocalipstic · 03-25-2010, 01:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SuperFemme

Butches cheat, Femmes cheat, in fact the only species that doesn't for sure I think is the goose. Shrug.

Good to know. If soemthing ever happens with Cynthia, I will keep transpecies dating in mind.

little man · 03-25-2010, 01:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SuperFemme

Butches cheat, Femmes cheat, in fact the only species that doesn't for sure I think is the goose. Shrug.

and maybe penguins?

Gemme · 03-25-2010, 01:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by little man

and maybe penguins?

Wolves mate for life. I think dolphins do too.

Apocalipstic · 03-25-2010, 01:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gemme

Wolves mate for life. I think dolphins do too.

Pondering which is cuter, in case I ever am single again.

Gemme · 03-25-2010, 01:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by apocalipstic

Pondering which is cuter, in case I ever am single again.

Pigs and dolphins have sex for pleasure. Wolves do it like they do on the Discovery Channel.

*grin*

SuperFemme · 03-25-2010, 01:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by little man

and maybe penguins?

Penguins are monogamous for only one mating season.

Andrew, Jr. · 03-25-2010, 01:49 PM

Tonya,

You are so right! I forgot about those gals.

little man · 03-25-2010, 02:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SuperFemme

Penguins are monogamous for only one mating season.

obviously, i do not watch enough animal planet. although, i have to wonder if they're not onto something there. that would certainly broaden the gene pool, wouldn't it? (which has nothing to do with the topic at hand...sorry for the diversion)

SuperFemme · 03-25-2010, 02:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by little man

obviously, i do not watch enough animal planet. although, i have to wonder if they're not onto something there. that would certainly broaden the gene pool, wouldn't it? (which has nothing to do with the topic at hand...sorry for the diversion)

How hard is it to me monogamous when all your potential mates look EXACTLY THE SAME.

Andrew, Jr. · 03-25-2010, 01:37 PM

It's funny you ladies both spoke up. From a guys pov, I really thought this was about a guy cheating. I think in society you see more of men cheating than women. And if women stray...it goes un-noticed or isn't focused upon.

Apocalipstic · 03-25-2010, 01:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Andrew, Jr.

It's funny you ladies both spoke up. From a guys pov, I really thought this was about a guy cheating. I think in society you see more of men cheating than women. And if women stray...it goes un-noticed or isn't focused upon.

Yes, I agree that is a stereotype of men

But every person I mentioned...women!

People are just people.

SuperFemme · 03-25-2010, 01:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Andrew, Jr.

It's funny you ladies both spoke up. From a guys pov, I really thought this was about a guy cheating. I think in society you see more of men cheating than women. And if women stray...it goes un-noticed or isn't focused upon.

Monica Lewinsky?
Princess Di? (they certainly focused on her more than Camilla Parker)
Recently Leanne Rhymes....

Martina · 03-30-2010, 05:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Andrew, Jr.

It's funny you ladies both spoke up. From a guys pov, I really thought this was about a guy cheating. I think in society you see more of men cheating than women. And if women stray...it goes un-noticed or isn't focused upon.

You're kidding, right? Let's have a seance and discuss this with all the women killed by their boyfriends or husbands who found out they were cheating or who thought they were.

sweetcali · 03-30-2010, 07:58 PM

plain??????????????? ~~~~~ splain lucy

real man???????? ~~~~~ splain lucy

This seriously befuddles me.

sweetcali

Martina · 03-31-2010, 10:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Andrew, Jr.

It's funny you ladies both spoke up. From a guys pov, I really thought this was about a guy cheating. I think in society you see more of men cheating than women. And if women stray...it goes un-noticed or isn't focused upon.

i am still fuming about this. i mean, do we share the same planet? i don't get it. How many women are killed a YEAR, i wonder, based on accusations of infidelity? i still can't get over it, that i even saw this on this site. It's damaging to ME to hear things like this expressed, things that i thought most people knew better than to say.

03-25-2010, 01:21 PM	#1
Andrew, Jr. Timed Out How Do You Identify?: Me Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: Unavailable Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Over the Rainbow in a House Posts: 5,072 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 16,004 Thanked 5,249 Times in 2,216 Posts Rep Power: 0	Women cheat just like men do. It isn't just one sided, and that is the impression I am getting reading this thread. Nobody knows what happens in a relationship between a couple. That is between them. Alot of debate can go on about how their passion has fizzled, both are working long hours, one bought a new car while so and so needs one, then the kids, and on and on. All this is - is an educated guess. That is all it is. The truth lies with the couple. Maybe they have decided to part ways. Who's business is it? Not mine. Not yours. That is gossip. And it's wrong imho. I think of the saying, and forgive me I am not sure of how it actually reads, but it is something along the lines like "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned" aka it is payback time. That is not what life is about.

03-25-2010, 01:49 PM	#12
Andrew, Jr. Timed Out How Do You Identify?: Me Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: Unavailable Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Over the Rainbow in a House Posts: 5,072 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 16,004 Thanked 5,249 Times in 2,216 Posts Rep Power: 0	Tonya, You are so right! I forgot about those gals.

03-25-2010, 01:37 PM	#15
Andrew, Jr. Timed Out How Do You Identify?: Me Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: Unavailable Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Over the Rainbow in a House Posts: 5,072 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 16,004 Thanked 5,249 Times in 2,216 Posts Rep Power: 0	It's funny you ladies both spoke up. From a guys pov, I really thought this was about a guy cheating. I think in society you see more of men cheating than women. And if women stray...it goes un-noticed or isn't focused upon.

03-30-2010, 07:58 PM	#19
sweetcali BFP Angel How Do You Identify?: Femme Relationship Status: Yes I have a status. Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: I ride a cowboy in Rodeo in the communist nation of the isle of cali. Posts: 334 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 310 Thanked 246 Times in 98 Posts Rep Power: 3700738	plain??????????????? ~~~~~ splain lucy real man???????? ~~~~~ splain lucy This seriously befuddles me. sweetcali