What Cracked You Up Today?

TheMerryFairy · 02-25-2013, 07:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Degotoga

*Laughs* I don't think they could have done this any better.

PaPa · 02-25-2013, 08:27 PM

A wife goes out for a night on the town with the girls, telling her husband she’ll be home around midnight.

Midnight passes by, drinks are flowing, the girls are laughing and having a great time. At around 2:45 in the morning, drunk as hell, she finally gets a cab and makes her way back home.

She gets to the front door and ever-so-gently nudges it open, not making a sound. She takes her shoes off, again not making a sound. Knowing her husband will give her hell for coming home so late and drunk, she’s quite proud of herself for being so stealthy.

Just then, the cuckoo clock in the hallway goes off, cuckooing 3 times signalling the late hour. Realizing he might wake up, she decides to cuckoo another 9 times. She smiles to herself, proud that she’d come up with such a clever solution on the spot. He’d never know the difference!

That next morning during breakfast the husband looked at his wife, who was obviously hungover, and asked, “So… what time did you get in last night?”

“Oh, right around midnight, just like I said,” she replied. The husband didn’t seem disturbed at all. Her plan had worked!

“Well,” he said, “I think we need a new cuckoo clock.”

“Why do you say that?” she asked.

“Because last night the one we have cuckooed 3 times, then said ‘oh shit,’ cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another 3 times, giggled, then tripped over the coffee table and farted.”

Degotoga · 02-26-2013, 01:26 PM

Gemme · 02-26-2013, 02:19 PM

WingsOnFire · 02-28-2013, 08:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gemme

Oh my Gemme.... I am not so sure but I think I want those 2 minutes back.. lol.. I did crack up though

DMW · 03-03-2013, 12:30 AM

My new name for the store that I refuse to go to.

Fall apart = wall mart or wall mart is fall apart

02-26-2013, 01:26 PM	#3
Degotoga Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Stone Butch Preferred Pronoun?: Respectful and situational appropriate ones Relationship Status: Enjoying butchelorhood Join Date: Feb 2013 Location: Texas Posts: 3,301 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 7,390 Thanked 4,380 Times in 1,233 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	__________________ Don't try to explain yourself to stupid people. You're not the jackass whisperer.

02-26-2013, 02:19 PM	#4
Gemme Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Queer Stone Femme Girl of the Unicorn Variety Preferred Pronoun?: She, as in 'She's a GEM' Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: The roads are narrow here Posts: 36,631 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 182,498 Thanked 107,926 Times in 25,667 Posts Rep Power: 21474887	__________________ Gemme's Journal I'm misunderestimated.

02-25-2013, 08:27 PM	#2
PaPa Senior Member How Do You Identify?: GQ Butch Daddy Relationship Status: A Very Protective BIG Daddy... Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: Pennsylvania Posts: 2,657 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 7,597 Thanked 5,871 Times in 1,530 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	A wife goes out for a night on the town with the girls, telling her husband she’ll be home around midnight. Midnight passes by, drinks are flowing, the girls are laughing and having a great time. At around 2:45 in the morning, drunk as hell, she finally gets a cab and makes her way back home. She gets to the front door and ever-so-gently nudges it open, not making a sound. She takes her shoes off, again not making a sound. Knowing her husband will give her hell for coming home so late and drunk, she’s quite proud of herself for being so stealthy. Just then, the cuckoo clock in the hallway goes off, cuckooing 3 times signalling the late hour. Realizing he might wake up, she decides to cuckoo another 9 times. She smiles to herself, proud that she’d come up with such a clever solution on the spot. He’d never know the difference! That next morning during breakfast the husband looked at his wife, who was obviously hungover, and asked, “So… what time did you get in last night?” “Oh, right around midnight, just like I said,” she replied. The husband didn’t seem disturbed at all. Her plan had worked! “Well,” he said, “I think we need a new cuckoo clock.” “Why do you say that?” she asked. “Because last night the one we have cuckooed 3 times, then said ‘oh shit,’ cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another 3 times, giggled, then tripped over the coffee table and farted.”

03-03-2013, 12:30 AM	#6
DMW Member How Do You Identify?: FTM/Male (Will 14) Relationship Status: Caught An Angel and she doesn't lie! Join Date: May 2012 Location: @ Posts: 784 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,256 Thanked 1,858 Times in 614 Posts Rep Power: 21474850	My new name for the store that I refuse to go to. Fall apart = wall mart or wall mart is fall apart