New sex partner=new toys? Your opinion

[KCBUTCH]

I think its a personal choice
I mean what about prosthetic's which are far from toys and custom made at least $1500 minimum that are part of the persons identity, it's not a black and white question.
I often get new cocks, not always because of it being new or used but because I don't want to be reminded of the EX, I also got new sheets. But that was a personal choice.
If I were still playing the field as I did in my younger years no way I used what was there
I have had the same leather harness for upwards of 22 or so years and have modified it as I grew LOL My leather goods are custom made are will not be exchanged. So who knows...
For me certain things I don't care to share despite using protection every time.
I really think it cannot be answered as either you do or you don't no more than the spectrum of gender variances that the question may relate to.

[imadiva]

New toys please and thank you! I understand about the harness and anything that stays outside of the body but I feel that anything that enters the body or private areas of the body should totally be new. New toys ,new memories, new pleasures ! Out with the old ! Really for sanitary reasons bacteria and virus can live on surfaces and the materials are sometimes porous so no matter how clean it looks it could still harbor some yuck in and on it ! Sooooo be for me !

[chai~]

Originally Posted by imadiva

New toys please and thank you! I understand about the harness and anything that stays outside of the body but I feel that anything that enters the body or private areas of the body should totally be new. New toys ,new memories, new pleasures ! Out with the old ! Really for sanitary reasons bacteria and virus can live on surfaces and the materials are sometimes porous so no matter how clean it looks it could still harbor some yuck in and on it ! Sooooo be for me !

I agree with this, because a new one can be bought and broken in and christened and blessed by us both at the same time!!!
I wouldn't go so far as a new bed, but fresh bedding would be a fresh beginning, even just a fresh beginning to being newly and deliciously single.
I think if we did it on the furniture, coffee table, dining room table, I might switch that out too! Great opportunity to redecorate~

[FeminineAllure]

One thing I have had a problem with is size.
Every women is different. Yes I know it expands...but can we keep it real?
Some cocks just are not going to fit comfortably. So yes, a bio man may have a naturally enormous cock but we get a choice. That is a plus to me.

[Angeltoes]

I have not had a serious discussion w my lover to be but i must admit i live life on the edge...at least in my mind i have never made love to someone I didn't love.

[Bad_boi]

As for toys I prefer to replace them. Most the time people don't cover their toys for play. If it is something that is hers alone and I might tease her with it I don't think it has to be replaced but if she has something that has been used on people other than myself and her it needs to go.


As for my cock, it is my cock. A bio guy can't replace his so there is no real reason why I should replace mine. I don't expect my partners to buy a new vagina if they have slept with someone else. I use condoms and have sex responsibly. If this makes anyone uncomfortable then they have the right not to sleep with me. While I understand some people might say that being able to choose your size is a good thing (and I agree) however, it should be by choice not just because your partner wants it a certain way. It should mesh well with your body and make you feel comfortable and happy.

[Anomaly]

When my first serious girlfriend and I broke up, we were both really poor, and we had this $150 strap-on that we both used. While we were arguing about who would keep it, because obviously we'd never use it on anyone else anyways (yeah right) she stole it and kept it. Now, I don't even remember the last time I strapped on, it was so long ago. I don't even like doing that any more, but I'm still mad at that Lorenna Bobbit move. I don't know why "Helium Heels" thought she had any right to it in the first place, but her and her new girlfriend used it, and that made me crazy at the time. I guess because we had to save up and go in together on it. It was something I worked a lot of minimum wage hours to obtain, and the idea that this new girl was now enjoying it... Oof, that was pretty rough.
My most long term relationship was with a girl who was really casually FTM, like, she wouldn't mind these pronouns I'm using, never changed her girl name, never made a big deal of it, just threw on a binder and went to work, and when we met, she already had all her parts. They were hers like mine are mine, and it didn't feel like my business to tell her to throw her parts away and get new ones just for me. And when we broke up, she didn't leave any parts behind.
And more recently, I dated a girl off and on for about a year. Her ex had kept her stuff, so she was unprepared, and I ended up buying her a rig, nothing too fancy but perfect for what I wanted. Now we're not seeing each other, and I still have the stuff I bought. She asked me once not to let anyone else use hers on me, not ever. I don't know why I still have it. I guess because I kinda don't care what she wants at this point, and that thing is nice and exactly what I want, and if I throw it away, I won't have anything in the case that I start seeing another unprepared butch or if I ever feel top-ish. I kept it because I thought I'd probably sleep with her again, but that has become a really bad idea that's never going to happen, so now I'm wondering the same thing, if it can be used again or if I should just toss it. I don't want to be rude.

Originally Posted by Anomaly

When my first serious girlfriend and I broke up, we were both really poor, and we had this $150 strap-on that we both used. While we were arguing about who would keep it, because obviously we'd never use it on anyone else anyways (yeah right) she stole it and kept it. Now, I don't even remember the last time I strapped on, it was so long ago. I don't even like doing that any more, but I'm still mad at that Lorenna Bobbit move. I don't know why "Helium Heels" thought she had any right to it in the first place, but her and her new girlfriend used it, and that made me crazy at the time. I guess because we had to save up and go in together on it. It was something I worked a lot of minimum wage hours to obtain, and the idea that this new girl was now enjoying it... Oof, that was pretty rough.
My most long term relationship was with a girl who was really casually FTM, like, she wouldn't mind these pronouns I'm using, never changed her girl name, never made a big deal of it, just threw on a binder and went to work, and when we met, she already had all her parts. They were hers like mine are mine, and it didn't feel like my business to tell her to throw her parts away and get new ones just for me. And when we broke up, she didn't leave any parts behind.
And more recently, I dated a girl off and on for about a year. Her ex had kept her stuff, so she was unprepared, and I ended up buying her a rig, nothing too fancy but perfect for what I wanted. Now we're not seeing each other, and I still have the stuff I bought. She asked me once not to let anyone else use hers on me, not ever. I don't know why I still have it. I guess because I kinda don't care what she wants at this point, and that thing is nice and exactly what I want, and if I throw it away, I won't have anything in the case that I start seeing another unprepared butch or if I ever feel top-ish. I kept it because I thought I'd probably sleep with her again, but that has become a really bad idea that's never going to happen, so now I'm wondering the same thing, if it can be used again or if I should just toss it. I don't want to be rude.

Your dollars, a 'rig' that you like; you get to keep it and choose who gets to use it. Simples.

[Boots13]

OK, since when are we owned by our cocks rather than the reverse?

My cock has no power or sway, unless I forfeit that to history. If my lover or I default to past memories staking claims on my cock or allow history to inhibit my/our performance then what exactly is it that’s so intricately attached to history? Why is the past MORE attached to my cock than how I am received by the woman I am with, TODAY ?

How can said cock wield disrespectful energy , devisive power, or passionate memories over me or her…how is it that it has the potential to create such conflict when beckoned for love, sex, play? Granted, history is significant, its the road we all took to get here, but is it more significant than the present, today, the fact that we're alive, breathing, wanting, needing, feeling ?

I identify with what is comfortable, what is received well, how she feels, and how I can drive her…with my butch cock…not my butch cock with history. My butch cock does not drive a barrier between us, unless one of us forfeits our power, our choice and our state of being.

Conversely, I have no qualms over using something that is comfortable and familiar to my lover…although I might stumble until I get the swing of it (nuk-nuk) , bring it…We’ll stumble together, hopefully laugh, enjoy the practice and then we’ll fuck like theres no tomorrow.

My point is, why are we giving cocks the power to respect or disrespect, the sway to hold past memories, the inability to release the past, or the mental torment of past action when it is not the thing that demonstrates those feelings and emotions, but rather the person wielding/receiving it. ???

Still trying to wrap my brains around this…please be kind in your response…because after reading every post and trying to identify with contrary opinions to my own really, I still don’t get it…new or used, tried and true or just ripped from the package (lol) isn’t it about honoring the present, about being in the moment with the one you’re with?

[~ocean]

ok wow boots u just said a lot ~~ in my own personal opinion ~ now I am the type of woman who never has and wont have casual sex ~ just not my thing ~ so speaking from an emotional aspect I was honored that hy bought new to be with me ~ if it is just casual sex then I can totally understand your reasoning ~ there is something very special about being new or experiencing something new w. the person you are in love with ~ I don't know the mind set of casual sex ,so I can't honestly comment . like I said this is MY own personal view . ~

[Boots13]

Hey Ocean - I absolutely respect your feelings and thank you for your response. I dont have casual sex. There is much emotion in what I do or who I'm with for whatever length of time we are together. So for me I dont feel casual about my interaction.

But I'm reading that not buying a new harness, cock would make your interaction feel casual or less than?

I absolutely dont want to get into a donneybrooke over this...but this is what I cant wrap my head around

[The_Lady_Snow]

I'm going to be honest reading people use the words "honor", "respect", and any other adjetive used to describe cock intent I tend to mentally shut off.. I have a hard time wrapping My mind around the continuos insinuation that just because some folks aren't buying new With each fuck or because some folks sex isn' attached to love that those same romanticized adjectives aren't ingrained in the same fashion..

Cocks don't come with ethics, such things are not included in their packaging. Honor, respect, dignity, transparency and so on come attached to those wielding the cock...

Food for thought...

[CherryBlonde]

New partner = New toys. No discussion. I want us to pick new toys out together. I think it's a bonding experience. Our toys should be "our" toys......

[DapperButch]

Originally Posted by CherryBlonde

New partner = New toys. No discussion. I want us to pick new toys out together. I think it's a bonding experience. Our toys should be "our" toys......

Yes, when they are "toys" to both participants, that makes sense.

For some of us, the cock we wear is not a "toy".

But sure, you want a different butt plug than the ones in my drawer? No problem, lets hit the sex store together.

[wahya]

I to agree new partner new toys.. and I like to let her choose what her "heart" desires. I'd like her to be able to say..Hey lets use the Wednesday one on Friday.. lol She can even call them anything she wants. Cause it is all about her (in my opinion.)Well..that is until we get in the bedroom. ;-)

[Redsunflower]

In my opinion, new partner, no need for new body parts.

Originally Posted by DapperButch

For some of us, the cock we wear is not a "toy".

And that's why.

:-)