New sex partner=new toys? Your opinion

Anomaly · 04-04-2013, 02:54 PM

When my first serious girlfriend and I broke up, we were both really poor, and we had this $150 strap-on that we both used. While we were arguing about who would keep it, because obviously we'd never use it on anyone else anyways (yeah right) she stole it and kept it. Now, I don't even remember the last time I strapped on, it was so long ago. I don't even like doing that any more, but I'm still mad at that Lorenna Bobbit move. I don't know why "Helium Heels" thought she had any right to it in the first place, but her and her new girlfriend used it, and that made me crazy at the time. I guess because we had to save up and go in together on it. It was something I worked a lot of minimum wage hours to obtain, and the idea that this new girl was now enjoying it... Oof, that was pretty rough.
My most long term relationship was with a girl who was really casually FTM, like, she wouldn't mind these pronouns I'm using, never changed her girl name, never made a big deal of it, just threw on a binder and went to work, and when we met, she already had all her parts. They were hers like mine are mine, and it didn't feel like my business to tell her to throw her parts away and get new ones just for me. And when we broke up, she didn't leave any parts behind.
And more recently, I dated a girl off and on for about a year. Her ex had kept her stuff, so she was unprepared, and I ended up buying her a rig, nothing too fancy but perfect for what I wanted. Now we're not seeing each other, and I still have the stuff I bought. She asked me once not to let anyone else use hers on me, not ever. I don't know why I still have it. I guess because I kinda don't care what she wants at this point, and that thing is nice and exactly what I want, and if I throw it away, I won't have anything in the case that I start seeing another unprepared butch or if I ever feel top-ish. I kept it because I thought I'd probably sleep with her again, but that has become a really bad idea that's never going to happen, so now I'm wondering the same thing, if it can be used again or if I should just toss it. I don't want to be rude.

04-05-2013, 07:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Anomaly

When my first serious girlfriend and I broke up, we were both really poor, and we had this $150 strap-on that we both used. While we were arguing about who would keep it, because obviously we'd never use it on anyone else anyways (yeah right) she stole it and kept it. Now, I don't even remember the last time I strapped on, it was so long ago. I don't even like doing that any more, but I'm still mad at that Lorenna Bobbit move. I don't know why "Helium Heels" thought she had any right to it in the first place, but her and her new girlfriend used it, and that made me crazy at the time. I guess because we had to save up and go in together on it. It was something I worked a lot of minimum wage hours to obtain, and the idea that this new girl was now enjoying it... Oof, that was pretty rough.
My most long term relationship was with a girl who was really casually FTM, like, she wouldn't mind these pronouns I'm using, never changed her girl name, never made a big deal of it, just threw on a binder and went to work, and when we met, she already had all her parts. They were hers like mine are mine, and it didn't feel like my business to tell her to throw her parts away and get new ones just for me. And when we broke up, she didn't leave any parts behind.
And more recently, I dated a girl off and on for about a year. Her ex had kept her stuff, so she was unprepared, and I ended up buying her a rig, nothing too fancy but perfect for what I wanted. Now we're not seeing each other, and I still have the stuff I bought. She asked me once not to let anyone else use hers on me, not ever. I don't know why I still have it. I guess because I kinda don't care what she wants at this point, and that thing is nice and exactly what I want, and if I throw it away, I won't have anything in the case that I start seeing another unprepared butch or if I ever feel top-ish. I kept it because I thought I'd probably sleep with her again, but that has become a really bad idea that's never going to happen, so now I'm wondering the same thing, if it can be used again or if I should just toss it. I don't want to be rude.

Your dollars, a 'rig' that you like; you get to keep it and choose who gets to use it. Simples.

Boots13 · 04-05-2013, 09:07 AM

OK, since when are we owned by our cocks rather than the reverse?

My cock has no power or sway, unless I forfeit that to history. If my lover or I default to past memories staking claims on my cock or allow history to inhibit my/our performance then what exactly is it that’s so intricately attached to history? Why is the past MORE attached to my cock than how I am received by the woman I am with, TODAY ?

How can said cock wield disrespectful energy , devisive power, or passionate memories over me or her…how is it that it has the potential to create such conflict when beckoned for love, sex, play? Granted, history is significant, its the road we all took to get here, but is it more significant than the present, today, the fact that we're alive, breathing, wanting, needing, feeling ?

I identify with what is comfortable, what is received well, how she feels, and how I can drive her…with my butch cock…not my butch cock with history. My butch cock does not drive a barrier between us, unless one of us forfeits our power, our choice and our state of being.

Conversely, I have no qualms over using something that is comfortable and familiar to my lover…although I might stumble until I get the swing of it (nuk-nuk) , bring it…We’ll stumble together, hopefully laugh, enjoy the practice and then we’ll fuck like theres no tomorrow.

My point is, why are we giving cocks the power to respect or disrespect, the sway to hold past memories, the inability to release the past, or the mental torment of past action when it is not the thing that demonstrates those feelings and emotions, but rather the person wielding/receiving it. ???

Still trying to wrap my brains around this…please be kind in your response…because after reading every post and trying to identify with contrary opinions to my own really, I still don’t get it…new or used, tried and true or just ripped from the package (lol) isn’t it about honoring the present, about being in the moment with the one you’re with?

~ocean · 04-05-2013, 09:16 AM

ok wow boots u just said a lot ~~ in my own personal opinion ~ now I am the type of woman who never has and wont have casual sex ~ just not my thing ~ so speaking from an emotional aspect I was honored that hy bought new to be with me ~ if it is just casual sex then I can totally understand your reasoning ~ there is something very special about being new or experiencing something new w. the person you are in love with ~ I don't know the mind set of casual sex ,so I can't honestly comment . like I said this is MY own personal view . ~

Boots13 · 04-05-2013, 09:25 AM

Hey Ocean - I absolutely respect your feelings and thank you for your response. I dont have casual sex. There is much emotion in what I do or who I'm with for whatever length of time we are together. So for me I dont feel casual about my interaction.

But I'm reading that not buying a new harness, cock would make your interaction feel casual or less than?

I absolutely dont want to get into a donneybrooke over this...but this is what I cant wrap my head around

The_Lady_Snow · 04-05-2013, 09:33 AM

I'm going to be honest reading people use the words "honor", "respect", and any other adjetive used to describe cock intent I tend to mentally shut off.. I have a hard time wrapping My mind around the continuos insinuation that just because some folks aren't buying new With each fuck or because some folks sex isn' attached to love that those same romanticized adjectives aren't ingrained in the same fashion..

Cocks don't come with ethics, such things are not included in their packaging. Honor, respect, dignity, transparency and so on come attached to those wielding the cock...

Food for thought...

The_Lady_Snow · 04-05-2013, 11:15 AM

In a not so parallel universe, people who are exercising their sexual desires are being assigned this similar type of wording to their characters. An example is women who are sexually empowered. Their choice to fuck because it's their body and choice are basically given the same adjectives that are being used on the non new cock folks.. That's what is grating my nerve.. It's the assigned ick factor, the shaming, value and the hierarchy. I honestly think this form of ingrained sexism bleeds into queer relationships .

I'm hoping it makes sense cause I had a hard time wording what kept me going "say what??"

CherylNYC · 04-05-2013, 06:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The_Lady_Snow

...

Cocks don't come with ethics, such things are not included in their packaging. Honor, respect, dignity, transparency and so on come attached to those wielding the cock...

...

These two sentences are the perfect summation of my feelings on this subject. Brava!

princessbelle · 04-05-2013, 07:52 PM

I've never given this thought.

I have never asked "Hey, have you used that puppy with someone else before?"

That just blows my mind (tongue-in-cheek on that line)

I mean...IMO the cock is part of her/hym/him. Just like the nose, for example. Not an extension to be disposed of after a breakup. How callus, to me, that thought is.

I don't know bout ya'll, but i don't have a disposable vagaga. I don't have surgery to remove it and then surgery to get a new one, that's bright and shiny, when i change partners.

My personal private parts belong to me and me only. If i change partners, they stay mine. I see it the same way with cocks. No different. They are both real and are both part of who we are.

It is up to each person to decide when and if we should interchange pieces to ourselves. I would just never even think of a "new one". What is the point? Getting a facelift/boob job/cock replacement....these all under the same heading to me. Do what you want, it's your body.

That's my big ole idea anyway.

04-04-2013, 02:54 PM	#1
Anomaly Junior Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She / Her Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Mar 2013 Location: Minnesota Posts: 17 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 37 Thanked 69 Times in 15 Posts Rep Power: 1638514	3 Scenarios in my life When my first serious girlfriend and I broke up, we were both really poor, and we had this $150 strap-on that we both used. While we were arguing about who would keep it, because obviously we'd never use it on anyone else anyways (yeah right) she stole it and kept it. Now, I don't even remember the last time I strapped on, it was so long ago. I don't even like doing that any more, but I'm still mad at that Lorenna Bobbit move. I don't know why "Helium Heels" thought she had any right to it in the first place, but her and her new girlfriend used it, and that made me crazy at the time. I guess because we had to save up and go in together on it. It was something I worked a lot of minimum wage hours to obtain, and the idea that this new girl was now enjoying it... Oof, that was pretty rough. My most long term relationship was with a girl who was really casually FTM, like, she wouldn't mind these pronouns I'm using, never changed her girl name, never made a big deal of it, just threw on a binder and went to work, and when we met, she already had all her parts. They were hers like mine are mine, and it didn't feel like my business to tell her to throw her parts away and get new ones just for me. And when we broke up, she didn't leave any parts behind. And more recently, I dated a girl off and on for about a year. Her ex had kept her stuff, so she was unprepared, and I ended up buying her a rig, nothing too fancy but perfect for what I wanted. Now we're not seeing each other, and I still have the stuff I bought. She asked me once not to let anyone else use hers on me, not ever. I don't know why I still have it. I guess because I kinda don't care what she wants at this point, and that thing is nice and exactly what I want, and if I throw it away, I won't have anything in the case that I start seeing another unprepared butch or if I ever feel top-ish. I kept it because I thought I'd probably sleep with her again, but that has become a really bad idea that's never going to happen, so now I'm wondering the same thing, if it can be used again or if I should just toss it. I don't want to be rude.

04-05-2013, 09:16 AM	#4
~ocean Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: femme blows a kiss off my finger tips * Preferred Pronoun?: ~ hey girl ~ Relationship Status: ~ single & content ~ Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Massachusetts ~coastal Posts: 7,905 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 22,958 Thanked 16,018 Times in 4,724 Posts Rep Power: 21474859	ok wow boots u just said a lot ~~ in my own personal opinion ~ now I am the type of woman who never has and wont have casual sex ~ just not my thing ~ so speaking from an emotional aspect I was honored that hy bought new to be with me ~ if it is just casual sex then I can totally understand your reasoning ~ there is something very special about being new or experiencing something new w. the person you are in love with ~ I don't know the mind set of casual sex ,so I can't honestly comment . like I said this is MY own personal view . ~ __________________ ~ Always, ocean

04-05-2013, 09:33 AM	#6
The_Lady_Snow MILLION $$$ PUSSY How Do You Identify?: Kinky, Raw, Perverted, Uber Queer Alpha Femme Preferred Pronoun?: Iconic Ms. Relationship Status: Keeper of 3, only one has the map to my freckles Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: La Reina del Sur Posts: 22,488 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 32,231 Thanked 80,077 Times in 15,670 Posts Rep Power: 21474874	Some thoughts I'm going to be honest reading people use the words "honor", "respect", and any other adjetive used to describe cock intent I tend to mentally shut off.. I have a hard time wrapping My mind around the continuos insinuation that just because some folks aren't buying new With each fuck or because some folks sex isn' attached to love that those same romanticized adjectives aren't ingrained in the same fashion.. Cocks don't come with ethics, such things are not included in their packaging. Honor, respect, dignity, transparency and so on come attached to those wielding the cock... Food for thought... __________________ "If you’re going to play these dirty games of ours, then you might as well indulge completely. It’s all about turning back into an animal and that’s the beauty of it. Place your guilt on the sidewalk and take a blow torch to it (guilt is usually worthless anyway). Be perverted, be filthy, do things that mannered people shouldn’t do. If you’re going to be gross then go for it and don’t wimp out."---Master Aiden

04-05-2013, 11:15 AM	#7
The_Lady_Snow MILLION $$$ PUSSY How Do You Identify?: Kinky, Raw, Perverted, Uber Queer Alpha Femme Preferred Pronoun?: Iconic Ms. Relationship Status: Keeper of 3, only one has the map to my freckles Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: La Reina del Sur Posts: 22,488 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 32,231 Thanked 80,077 Times in 15,670 Posts Rep Power: 21474874	Bingo! In a not so parallel universe, people who are exercising their sexual desires are being assigned this similar type of wording to their characters. An example is women who are sexually empowered. Their choice to fuck because it's their body and choice are basically given the same adjectives that are being used on the non new cock folks.. That's what is grating my nerve.. It's the assigned ick factor, the shaming, value and the hierarchy. I honestly think this form of ingrained sexism bleeds into queer relationships . I'm hoping it makes sense cause I had a hard time wording what kept me going "say what??" __________________ "If you’re going to play these dirty games of ours, then you might as well indulge completely. It’s all about turning back into an animal and that’s the beauty of it. Place your guilt on the sidewalk and take a blow torch to it (guilt is usually worthless anyway). Be perverted, be filthy, do things that mannered people shouldn’t do. If you’re going to be gross then go for it and don’t wimp out."---Master Aiden Last edited by The_Lady_Snow; 04-05-2013 at 11:24 AM. Reason: More thoughts!

04-05-2013, 09:07 AM	#3
Boots13 Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: No Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: PNW Posts: 823 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,387 Thanked 2,313 Times in 428 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	OK, since when are we owned by our cocks rather than the reverse? My cock has no power or sway, unless I forfeit that to history. If my lover or I default to past memories staking claims on my cock or allow history to inhibit my/our performance then what exactly is it that’s so intricately attached to history? Why is the past MORE attached to my cock than how I am received by the woman I am with, TODAY ? How can said cock wield disrespectful energy , devisive power, or passionate memories over me or her…how is it that it has the potential to create such conflict when beckoned for love, sex, play? Granted, history is significant, its the road we all took to get here, but is it more significant than the present, today, the fact that we're alive, breathing, wanting, needing, feeling ? I identify with what is comfortable, what is received well, how she feels, and how I can drive her…with my butch cock…not my butch cock with history. My butch cock does not drive a barrier between us, unless one of us forfeits our power, our choice and our state of being. Conversely, I have no qualms over using something that is comfortable and familiar to my lover…although I might stumble until I get the swing of it (nuk-nuk) , bring it…We’ll stumble together, hopefully laugh, enjoy the practice and then we’ll fuck like theres no tomorrow. My point is, why are we giving cocks the power to respect or disrespect, the sway to hold past memories, the inability to release the past, or the mental torment of past action when it is not the thing that demonstrates those feelings and emotions, but rather the person wielding/receiving it. ??? Still trying to wrap my brains around this…please be kind in your response…because after reading every post and trying to identify with contrary opinions to my own really, I still don’t get it…new or used, tried and true or just ripped from the package (lol) isn’t it about honoring the present, about being in the moment with the one you’re with?

04-05-2013, 09:25 AM	#5
Boots13 Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: No Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: PNW Posts: 823 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,387 Thanked 2,313 Times in 428 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	Hey Ocean - I absolutely respect your feelings and thank you for your response. I dont have casual sex. There is much emotion in what I do or who I'm with for whatever length of time we are together. So for me I dont feel casual about my interaction. But I'm reading that not buying a new harness, cock would make your interaction feel casual or less than? I absolutely dont want to get into a donneybrooke over this...but this is what I cant wrap my head around

04-05-2013, 07:52 PM	#9
princessbelle Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: femme Preferred Pronoun?: femme ones Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Tennessee Posts: 6,100 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 29,380 Thanked 30,496 Times in 5,198 Posts Rep Power: 21474858	I've never given this thought. I have never asked "Hey, have you used that puppy with someone else before?" That just blows my mind (tongue-in-cheek on that line) I mean...IMO the cock is part of her/hym/him. Just like the nose, for example. Not an extension to be disposed of after a breakup. How callus, to me, that thought is. I don't know bout ya'll, but i don't have a disposable vagaga. I don't have surgery to remove it and then surgery to get a new one, that's bright and shiny, when i change partners. My personal private parts belong to me and me only. If i change partners, they stay mine. I see it the same way with cocks. No different. They are both real and are both part of who we are. It is up to each person to decide when and if we should interchange pieces to ourselves. I would just never even think of a "new one". What is the point? Getting a facelift/boob job/cock replacement....these all under the same heading to me. Do what you want, it's your body. That's my big ole idea anyway.