Relationships - What things do you want & need?

[blush]

Originally Posted by evolveme

Cook. You must be able to cook.

e

Right? I'll put up with all kinds of tomfoolery if they can do more than boil water.

[blush]

I thought it was a boomerang.

[MizzSabra]

I wrote this letter to the Universe on Aug 10th.....Sept 9th I met mi amore. I wasn't going to settle again.



I want someone emotionally available, semi-sane, communicative (without over processing), some form of income (don't have to be rich, but able to pay own bills), plays hard, works hard and still can chill in the house or yard for the day. Not a heavy drinker or addicted. If you are in recovery, awesome, but please be in recovery for a minimum of 5 years. I'm not a heavy drinker (less than once a month), I do smoke pot (mostly for body pain and insomnia) and cigarettes (I am a polite smoker).

I don't necessarily want to live together, space is good. I want someone who I can talk to when I've had a great day or a shitty day and won't be "bothered" with all that. I want someone to share my life with and visa-versa. I want to love and be loved. I don't need another child, I already raised mine, so if you are looking for a Mommy, it's not me. Someone who can appreciate all my Virgo quirks. Someone who can appreciate all (or at least some) my different sides. Someone who loves the outdoors as much as I do (or somewhere close to how much I love the outdoors). Someone who loves animals, but not too much. I'm at my dyke limit of animals right now. Someone who isn't going to be intimidated by my large collection of power tools. Someone who isn't intimidated by my strength or my weaknesses. Someone who can show emotion. Someone who is kinky or semi-kinky. Someone who can take me in their arms and tell me that they love me. Someone who isn't intimidated by my height and the fact that I love to wear 3 inch heels when I got out. Someone who isn't intimidated by my butch/ftm friends/Unkles. Someone who isn't intimidated by my gayboy friends. Someone who wants to get their hands dirty in the garden with me (or at least pretend you like to get your hands dirty) and appreciate the fruits of our labor. Someone not already in a relationship!

This person is butch or FTM and a top. Switchy is ok too, but not all the time.

Are you this person or do you know someone like this and can handle a 6' tall blonde amazon?

[evolveme]

Originally Posted by blush

I thought it was a boomerang.

Whatever it is, it is SO freakin' cute!

[Gemme]

Originally Posted by evolveme

Whatever it is, it is SO freakin' cute!

It's. A. Sock.

<----sock

[Dragonfly]

In order of priority I NEED relationship-wise:

Time to really think about this list and come back to edit when I am actually ready to be looking for someone

Honesty~ not kidding I need like 98% or more sincerity even if negative

COMPASSIONATE~ I dont like meanies to anyone anywhere

Love Animals and Kids~ but not too much or in a gross way

Sense of Humor~ cause I am a nerdy dork

Emotionally balanced~ and in tune/ harmony w them

Romantic~ showing how well you know me occasionally not often

Sexually open mouthed~ as in wanting to talk about it not just willing

Conversational~ Starts up a convo with me about something, anything, they are interested in talking about


**Read to me and genuinely like music and art... they are a bonus that gets me to give out bonuses!



*** Everything else would fall into place cause I like to compromise, it makes me feel successful.

[T4Texas]

I would want someone who is honest and who can appreciate my brand of honesty which includes telling you things you may not want to hear. I feel if you are both on the same page, you should be able to do that without one or the other feeling offended. Loyalty is also high on the list. When I partner with someone, they are it, there is no other person or reasons for me to stray. If you feel the need to do those things, then finish up your business first and then you can feel free to play. *note this applies to monagamous relationships and I do realize there are many folks who prefer other types of relationships so thats up to them to decide what rules apply to them. Trust is paramount, because if you have no trust you basically have nothing.
Now with all the big important things said, I also would like someone who can cook at least a little bit. (having lived with someone before who couldn't and finding it was a royal pain, this altered my ideas about domesticity.) I also need someone who can have an intelligent conversation. You don't have to be Einstein, but I can converse on a wide range of subjects and like someone similar. My partner of choice is femme. There are no exceptions to that and she also has to be someone who can accept and appreciate my perversions. Last but not least, I have always had two rules of thumb for dating. You must have a job and a place to live. I know that might seem a bit much as not all people can meet that criteria, but to me it shows some attempt at being responsible if you can achieve those things. Its a short list and I believe you can work around most things that come up and find a happy medium most of the time if you care enough for the person. We all have to remember that relationships are a lot of work and both parties have to do the work, not just one.

[Random]

For me?


Honesty.. Blunt, Painful, No holding back for any reason... No half truths to save my feelings, or make you look better... Honestly, it's a reflex.. You lie to me or omit part of the truth, and part of my heart starts slamming doors..

In this.. I am the least judgmental person you will ever meet.. Did time? fine, sold drugs? ok, Was a junkie? Me TOO!! Walked the stroll? Ran a stable? Did you enjoy it or was it something to survive..

The only thing that's going to get the door completly slammed is a liking for 12 yr old girls/boys and a thrill when kicking puppies...

Confident in who you are... There is a strength that comes from knowing who you are and liking yourself.. Something that the world can't touch.. I find that someone who has this belive in themself doesn't feel like my reactions have anything to do with them.. lol.. until I tell them.. I like that.. a lot..

Has to be a communicater... I'm a gemini.. I really do want to hear about your crappy day, how you watched a dragonfly for 20 mins... why you liked that movie or book...why you feel the way you do... Honestly.. with me.. there is no such thing as over processing.. Well, until it starts going in a circle and is non productive.. but don't worry.. I will tell you when that starts happening...

Trust... Even when you know you are going to get hurt.. that more than likely, I am going to hurt you... A thick skin and a stout heart..

Submissive but not a doormat.. There is nothing sweeter than a strong confident butch looking me in the eyes and saying they are mine.. Someone who says *Yes, Dear* most of the time, but if they reach a hard line for them.. Then it's *No, Dear*... mmmmmm tasty....

A Poly Heart.. This is massivly important.. even if our relationship is a closed one... There has to be a possiblility of the relationship being open if desired..

Understand.. truely understand that I am a sadistic stone leaning switch... If I am in Top mode, then I have no desire to be touched and there is going to be pain invoved on your part... If I am in sub mode, then I have no desire to touch sexualy, no desire to cause pain.... Did I say that I was a gemini? Lol

[evolveme]

Originally Posted by blush

Right? I'll put up with all kinds of tomfoolery if they can do more than boil water.

No joke, sister.

I may even reconsider how much chit-chatting I will allow.

Maybe.


s do it best,

e

[MizzSabra]

Originally Posted by evolveme

<snippitysnip>

s do it best,

e

Yes we do.

Whoot! Rubber duckie for me!

[evolveme]

Originally Posted by MizzSabra

Yes we do.

Whoot! Rubber duckie for me!

I know I said it privately, but I wanted to say here to:

I love your love story.

[JustLovelyJenn]

You know, this list has changed a lot lately... I finally figured out how much I like being myself. How much I can do all on my own without anyone beside me. When I gained that self confidence... a lot of my desires about the people I involve in my life changed.

NOW...

I want someone who loves me unconditionally for exactly who I am.

Someone who is willing to support me in my endeavors and is willing to be supported in theirs.

Of course the love of my children is a must.

But also the love of children in general. In particular, a willingness to be involved in the lives of teenagers, since I intend to be a High School Choir teacher by the time I get where I'm going.

I want to be able to share moments of difference. Coming together to learn the things the other can teach. Its become more important to me that we are different then the same. There is always common ground if there is love in your heart. But I need someone who loves themselves and is passionate about their life, and lets me be the same way about mine.

I guess, most importantly... I need that tingling feeling, to quote one of my favorite movies (brownie points if you get this) I want the "foot poppin' kiss".

[SouthernStud]

i would make a negotiation on the cooking part...ill be ya cookin daddy if u do the cleanin!!! Now it wouldnt be exactly fair for me to do all the work....and that includes ALL aspects...not just cookin and cleanin!!! Use ur brains for just a moment...ahhh it just dawned on u what i was saying. Thats right,i said it...if i can cook for my woman and occasionally clean,then u can save a horse and ride a cowboy...cuz thats just SEXY AS FUK!!!!!

[little_ms_sunshyne]

Hmmmm...Hadnt seen this thread...

Wants & Needs

~ A great sense of humor (although I am pretty easy to make laugh)

~ Optimisitc

~ A warm smile

~ Kind to others

~ Telling Eyes

~ A nice bottom lip that I can tug on when we kiss

~ Ambitious

~ Someone who is not afraid to take control...

~but can sit back and watch me when I decide to...

~ Gentleman

~Passionate, Lustful, and Loving (yes rolled up into one)

~ Someone I can drive nuts on a regular basis

Is this too much to ask for?? lol Oh and if they are my height or taller a plus Ok done...just saying..We can dream right?

[nicetgurl_30]

Let's see I'm older now so:

Honest
Family-centered
Sense of humor
Likes God
Playful "trying new things"
Has a job
Likes artsy things
And my obsessive need to practice tantric things
*stayin in bed on rainin days ( I have no tv in bedroom) u get the hint...
Communicate To Me

[Soft*Silver]

I have learned so much about myself this year!

I learned I need to be the Dominant in a relationship.

I learned I need to be in a female run relationship...meaning regardless of what gender I date, *I* am the one who leads in the dance

I learned I need to be the lead in bed too. And I need to be with someone I can reciprocate sex with. While I have enjoyed my time with Stone Butches, I know to be sexually satisfied, I need to be the one giving. And if *I* feel like it, he can give back.

I learned I need this to be a 24/7 in and out of bed

I learned I am not shy sexually and certainly not submissive. Assertive doesnt even begin to define what I am in this realm and trying to be anything different (a role I was taught to play from childhood) just wasnt working for me

I learned that I am still coming into myself and am single for this reason. I dont want to mull it over while engaging with the energy of another person.

[SouthernStud]

Originally Posted by little_ms_sunshyne

Hmmmm...Hadnt seen this thread...

Wants & Needs

~ A great sense of humor (although I am pretty easy to make laugh)

~ Optimisitc

~ A warm smile

~ Kind to others

~ Telling Eyes

~ A nice bottom lip that I can tug on when we kiss

~ Ambitious

~ Someone who is not afraid to take control...

~but can sit back and watch me when I decide to...

~ Gentleman

~Passionate, Lustful, and Loving (yes rolled up into one)

~ Someone I can drive nuts on a regular basis

Is this too much to ask for?? lol Oh and if they are my height or taller a plus Ok done...just saying..We can dream right?

Hmmmmm.... *thinks to self* ....ummmm how tall are u exactly???

[girl_dee]

at the risk of sounding needy I would rather say is that I do best with someone who is not afraid and can handle me! Someone who wants the same things in life as I do, someone who is not afraid to lock the chains to me...someone who is not afraid to cage me. Someone who is interested enough to see past the crap and to the next layer. Someone who is not afraid to give me what I really need especially when I need it. Someone who is real and lives and walks their own truth. Someone who is not afraid to tell me what they need and want. Someone who challenges me and puts me in my place when I push the line. Someone who is tender when it's needed and also throw me to my knees when it's time.. Someone who is not afraid to commit and capable of loving themselves enough to take care of themselves.. someone who takes responsibility seriously and acts accordingly. Someone who I can't live without. Someone willing to walk the walk... not just talk the talk.

and oh, must love dogs.

[BullDog]

Exactly what I have right now. She is kind, loving, honest, funny as hell, extremely smart, very beautiful and sexy, she puts a priority on Us, our values and outlook on life are very complimentary. I have everything I could ever want and need for the rest of my life.

[oboejive]

For me, it's really about the physical, emotional, and mental connection. If one of those is missing, it won't work.