"End Game" for butches : )

MsTinkerbelly · 10-17-2013, 05:09 PM

How very brave of you, thank you for the reminder!

These things came up when my kasey was in the hospital, and they probably come up when other butches face sickness and death. I advocated for my honey but what about others like Nat said who have families that don't get it?

Hmmmm i need to help my butch prepare in case i'm not around....

Be well

PoeticSilence · 10-17-2013, 05:30 PM

I was recently in the hospital, I don't know if it was a life and death situation, but it definitely was a "we might have to remove your legs" situation and it was serious and painful and tiring. I'd been in the hospital a few years before after a heart attack so I was a little more in control of myself ... but still, it wasn't the same.

I identify as Butch, but I don't identify as male. I should make that clear up front because maybe it makes a difference. I might wear mens clothing and legally changed my name to Ronnie from Ronda, but if you call me Sir on accident I'm not going to flip out, it's just not necessary. I'm a human being and that's enough recognition for me as to who I am. I'm a human being.

My hospital/doctors/nurses recognized my marriage to my wife and included her during conversations and kept her phone number on the pain board in case they needed her.
I wore boxer-briefs during my stay and it wasn't an issue for anyone.
The nurses had trouble wrapping my legs and allowed me to call my wife and then watched her after she drove up there (outside of visiting hours) while she did the wraps and decided she was better at it so they left that part of my care to her.
They never held her to visiting hours and even would have allowed her to stay overnight if she wanted.

I live in Nebraska, which is a very Republican state, and they don't recognize gay marriages still, but you never would have known it with the staff that worked with me. Even my follow-up doctors and therapists worked with my wife. I really feel they considered my dignity and writing this right now, I'm a little ashamed to confess that I haven't even thanked them properly for it, because I know it wasn't the "norm". My wife and I went to a lot of trouble to do what we could to cover our asses legally regarding our marriage, and so far my experience has been that outside of government workers that still have some ... red tape issues ... we are treated like any other couple in nearly every situation we have encountered.

So there is hope. I think you just have to be the one to work a little harder, because others in the past have paved the way.

10-17-2013, 05:09 PM	#1
MsTinkerbelly Timed Out - TOS Drama How Do You Identify?: ... Preferred Pronoun?: ... Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: ... Posts: 6,573 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 30,737 Thanked 22,908 Times in 5,019 Posts Rep Power: 0	How very brave of you, thank you for the reminder! These things came up when my kasey was in the hospital, and they probably come up when other butches face sickness and death. I advocated for my honey but what about others like Nat said who have families that don't get it? Hmmmm i need to help my butch prepare in case i'm not around.... Be well Last edited by MsTinkerbelly; 10-17-2013 at 05:12 PM.

10-17-2013, 05:30 PM	#2
PoeticSilence Member How Do You Identify?: dodges labels Relationship Status: Estranged Join Date: Jul 2013 Location: Midwest Posts: 454 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3 Thanked 918 Times in 277 Posts Rep Power: 10661584	I was recently in the hospital, I don't know if it was a life and death situation, but it definitely was a "we might have to remove your legs" situation and it was serious and painful and tiring. I'd been in the hospital a few years before after a heart attack so I was a little more in control of myself ... but still, it wasn't the same. I identify as Butch, but I don't identify as male. I should make that clear up front because maybe it makes a difference. I might wear mens clothing and legally changed my name to Ronnie from Ronda, but if you call me Sir on accident I'm not going to flip out, it's just not necessary. I'm a human being and that's enough recognition for me as to who I am. I'm a human being. My hospital/doctors/nurses recognized my marriage to my wife and included her during conversations and kept her phone number on the pain board in case they needed her. I wore boxer-briefs during my stay and it wasn't an issue for anyone. The nurses had trouble wrapping my legs and allowed me to call my wife and then watched her after she drove up there (outside of visiting hours) while she did the wraps and decided she was better at it so they left that part of my care to her. They never held her to visiting hours and even would have allowed her to stay overnight if she wanted. I live in Nebraska, which is a very Republican state, and they don't recognize gay marriages still, but you never would have known it with the staff that worked with me. Even my follow-up doctors and therapists worked with my wife. I really feel they considered my dignity and writing this right now, I'm a little ashamed to confess that I haven't even thanked them properly for it, because I know it wasn't the "norm". My wife and I went to a lot of trouble to do what we could to cover our asses legally regarding our marriage, and so far my experience has been that outside of government workers that still have some ... red tape issues ... we are treated like any other couple in nearly every situation we have encountered. So there is hope. I think you just have to be the one to work a little harder, because others in the past have paved the way. __________________ Love is all you need. Last edited by PoeticSilence; 10-17-2013 at 05:36 PM. Reason: Necessary disclaimer