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View Poll Results: Gender and Friendships!? | |||
I am FEMME and I have lots of friends who I talk to regularly. |
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23 | 15.23% |
I am FEMME and I have a few close friends. |
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32 | 21.19% |
I am FEMME and I have a lot of friends but prefer to connect online or through text. |
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7 | 4.64% |
I am FEMME and I have 1 or 2 close friends. We speak often. |
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17 | 11.26% |
I am FEMME and I don't have many "close" friends but connect with people online regularly. |
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8 | 5.30% |
I am FEMME and have been close friends with several people for over 10 years. |
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33 | 21.85% |
I am FEMME and I HATE to talk on the phone. |
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26 | 17.22% |
I am FEMME and I often talk on the phone. |
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13 | 8.61% |
I am BUTCH and I have lots of friends who I talk to regularly. |
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7 | 4.64% |
I am BUTCH and I have a few close friends. |
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21 | 13.91% |
I am BUTCH and I have a lot of friends but prefer to connect online or through text. |
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1 | 0.66% |
I am BUTCH and I have 1 or 2 close friends. We speak often. |
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9 | 5.96% |
I am BUTCH and I don't have many "close" friends but connect with people online regularly. |
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2 | 1.32% |
I am BUTCH and have been close friends with several people for over 10 years. |
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18 | 11.92% |
I am BUTCH and I HATE to talk on the phone. |
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15 | 9.93% |
I am BUTCH and I often talk on the phone. |
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6 | 3.97% |
I am a Transperson and I have lots of friends who I talk to regularly. |
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6 | 3.97% |
I am a Transperson and I have a few close friends. |
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13 | 8.61% |
I am a Transperson and I have a lot of friends but prefer to connect online or through text. |
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3 | 1.99% |
I am a Transperson and I have 1 or 2 close friends. We speak often. |
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3 | 1.99% |
I am a Transperson and I don't have many "close" friends but connect with people online regularly. |
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3 | 1.99% |
I am a Transperson and have been close friends with several people for over 10 years. |
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8 | 5.30% |
I am a Transperson and I HATE to talk on the phone. |
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8 | 5.30% |
I am a Transperson and I often talk on the phone. |
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6 | 3.97% |
I think friendships are overrated. |
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3 | 1.99% |
I think that all genders create friendships in basically the same ways. |
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33 | 21.85% |
I think that people who have no friends are "unhealthy" in some way. |
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18 | 11.92% |
I think people who have lots of friends are "unhealthy" in some way. |
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5 | 3.31% |
I think it is healthy to build friendships from online interactions. |
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35 | 23.18% |
I think it is unhealthy to build friendships from online interactions. |
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2 | 1.32% |
Multiple Choice Poll. Voters: 151. You may not vote on this poll |
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#1 |
The Planet's Technical Bubba
How Do You Identify?:
FTM Preferred Pronoun?:
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For me friendship is one of those greatly desired things but often fleeting. I have a few friends from high school that I could meet up today and continue conversations we started ages ago. But we don't talk regularly (unless Facebook discussions count). I think our social interactions have changed a lot and phone conversations aren't the only common mechanism (at least not for me).
Part of this is probably from my lack of creating strong bonds with people as a teenager (I never had a friend, really, until I was 17 or thereabouts -- and those friends I still have today but talk via facebook and when I travel there). Also, I'd point out that transpersons come in a variety of flavours (much like Butch and Femme do) but know that the poll options are limited and we're just too varied a bunch to do the whole poll idea full justice.
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#2 | |
Mentally Delicious
How Do You Identify?:
Queer High Femme, thank you very much Preferred Pronoun?:
Mme. Relationship Status:
Married to JD. Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Atlanta
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Thanks: 5,995
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Agreed! I was trying to figure out a way to make space for all the various flavors of Butch, Femme, and Trans folks and it was becoming a mess. Hope folks will forgive the clunky poll!!
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#3 |
Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
Femme Preferred Pronoun?:
She, please Relationship Status:
Loved Up Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Western MA
Posts: 2,183
Thanks: 9,001
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As to friendships and gender identity...
I'm reluctant to make any generalizations about the ways in which Butches/Femmes/Transfolks value, build or maintain friendships because I believe our differences (as regards relationship building) fall less along gender lines and more along personality/character trait lines. But I'm really interested to read other peoples opinions and experiences. I'm a Femme and I have a lot of friends dotted all over the world and I have a small group of close friends with whom I bare my soul, also dotted all over the world. The level of closeness of my friendships is not a direct corollary to geographic nearness. A couple of my closest friends live far-far-away and a couple live right here in town. I tend to keep in touch with my people who are far away via social media, email and occasional video chats; with those people I know that even though we don't see each other very often, our connection is strong. I am indebted to the WWW for giving me the tools to stay close to those people. When I need to talk about something, or want to be social, I prefer to do it in person with my closest people and I'm fortunate enough to have close people who live locally, so it's easy to do that. But I HATE talking on the phone. hate-hate-hate it. I spend a lot of time talking on the phone and/or schmoozing people in my jobs, the last thing I want to do when I get home is talk on the phone or have to sustain a conversation with someone that I am not close to. Most of my closest people know that the best way to reach me is via text message or email. Text communications feel a little less demanding and invasive to me, they give me some space and time to reply. I can finish cooking dinner or watching a program or reading a chapter - before I reply. I can really take some time to think about how I feel, what I want or how I wish to reply - before I do. Time feels so precious and so fleeting some days that I'm relieved to put my phone on the charger in the other room and be unencumbered for a couple of hours. This feeling of time being fleeting has also changed the way I view my friendships. I have more delineated circles of relationships now...(than I used to) My core people (my partner, my siblings, my best friends) this is a pretty small group - 10 or less people. And then concentric circles that include friends, family members, colleagues that I feel more or less connected to. I choose to invest my time and love and support and energy in that core circle of people --- I still like a lot of other people and consider them friends but I don't invest as much in our relationships as I might have in the past.
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