FTM's and Transitioning

[The Oopster]

Originally Posted by atomiczombie

I need some support.

As many of you know, I suffer from PTSD and anxiety/panic disorder. I am fully clear and confident in my transmasculine/transgender male identity, mind you. I know who I am and who I am not.

That said, I am at a place in my life where it is now time to contact my doctor to start testosterone therapy and transition physically. Now that the moment of truth has arrived, it seems my anxiety has ratcheted up. I don't have doubts about who I am or whether this is really what I want, I swear! I am totally clear about who I am and have been for several years. I want to physically transition. I need to physically transition. I want to feel whole.

So why am I so anxious about making that call? I have no freakin' idea, and I wonder if any other guys have felt this way and how they have dealt with it. Any thoughts?

Thanks in advance,

Drew

I toatlly get the anxiety.

I'm at the point that it looks like I'll finally get my top surgery. I've been really anxious about it lately.

For me it's cause its change. Not only the physical change but the emotional mental change in that here is something I've been wanting for so long that just the process of wanting it and not knowing if and when it's going to happen has become a part of me.

Now it's a reality and that's just different. It's a new phase and it leaves this void of where my energy has been put because I'll no longer be able to think when is this going to happen and about how much I don't like my body. I'm sure i'll find something to replace it but it's scary not knowing what that is.

Also is means moving into new horizons that I can't even imagine at this point and that's sort of scary.

Hope that helps some

[atomiczombie]

hey guys, thanks for all the input, it really helps!

I did make that call, and saw my general practitioner. She referred me to an endo doc. I have an appointment on May 6th. I will need to bring a letter from my therapist, and that won't be a problem.

I think my freaking out did have a lot to do with that fear of being told no by my doctor. That didn't happen, so I am really excited about the next step now. I think any big change causes a spike in my anxiety because of the PTSD. The sign that I am healing from it is when it doesn't over-take me to the point where I am paralyzed and can't do anything. I moved through it this time and that is big progress for me.

[Jet]

Originally Posted by atomiczombie

...... my anxiety because of the PTSD. The sign that I am healing from it is when it doesn't over-take me to the point where I am paralyzed and can't do anything. I moved through it this time and that is big progress for me.

....................

[NikiNik]

Originally Posted by atomiczombie

hey guys, thanks for all the input, it really helps!

I did make that call, and saw my general practitioner. She referred me to an endo doc. I have an appointment on May 6th. I will need to bring a letter from my therapist, and that won't be a problem.

I think my freaking out did have a lot to do with that fear of being told no by my doctor. That didn't happen, so I am really excited about the next step now. I think any big change causes a spike in my anxiety because of the PTSD. The sign that I am healing from it is when it doesn't over-take me to the point where I am paralyzed and can't do anything. I moved through it this time and that is big progress for me.

I am so excited for you! You need to call your BFF!(best femme friend) I feel there is alot to catch up on! I miss you and love you very much!

[Leigh]

Well, I got to see a doctor on April 16th that is going to help Me to begin to start My transition. I have a couple more appointment scheduled for the end of May, to get blood work done and to talk to him about My past medical history. By the 4th or 5th appointment, he will have Me on T injections so I am very happy about that. He is also going to help Me with all of My future paperwork for things like future surgeries (hysto and top) as well as changing My marker on My birth certificate and changing My name legally ~ a very exciting time for Me

[Linus]

Originally Posted by Braedon

Well, I got to see a doctor on April 16th that is going to help Me to begin to start My transition. I have a couple more appointment scheduled for the end of May, to get blood work done and to talk to him about My past medical history. By the 4th or 5th appointment, he will have Me on T injections so I am very happy about that. He is also going to help Me with all of My future paperwork for things like future surgeries (hysto and top) as well as changing My marker on My birth certificate and changing My name legally ~ a very exciting time for Me

Congrats!!! You must be very excited about this. BTW, when you have the first shot, not a lot will happen afterward other than slight pain at the shot site

[Sam]

Originally Posted by Braedon

Well, I got to see a doctor on April 16th that is going to help Me to begin to start My transition. I have a couple more appointment scheduled for the end of May, to get blood work done and to talk to him about My past medical history. By the 4th or 5th appointment, he will have Me on T injections so I am very happy about that. He is also going to help Me with all of My future paperwork for things like future surgeries (hysto and top) as well as changing My marker on My birth certificate and changing My name legally ~ a very exciting time for Me

great news. good luck, you feel great after a few months.

[Liam]

Originally Posted by Braedon

Well, I got to see a doctor on April 16th that is going to help Me to begin to start My transition. I have a couple more appointment scheduled for the end of May, to get blood work done and to talk to him about My past medical history. By the 4th or 5th appointment, he will have Me on T injections so I am very happy about that. He is also going to help Me with all of My future paperwork for things like future surgeries (hysto and top) as well as changing My marker on My birth certificate and changing My name legally ~ a very exciting time for Me

Congratulations, Braedon!

[atomiczombie]

I started on Androgel today for the first time. Starting low at 2.5 g per day. In a month I check with my endo doc and see if she wants to take me up to 5g. This is it, the first day of the beginning of a new life, and I'm not scared at all.

[Jet]

Originally Posted by atomiczombie

I started on Androgel today for the first time. Starting low at 2.5 g per day. In a month I check with my endo doc and see if she wants to take me up to 5g. This is it, the first day of the beginning of a new life, and I'm not scared at all.

um *puzzled* why would you be scared?

[Leigh]

Originally Posted by Linus

Congrats!!! You must be very excited about this. BTW, when you have the first shot, not a lot will happen afterward other than slight pain at the shot site

Thanks bro, I'm very excited about finally being able to begin My transition

Originally Posted by Sam

great news. good luck, you feel great after a few months.

Thanks Sam, I appreciate it

Originally Posted by Liam

Congratulations, Braedon!

Thanks Liam

Originally Posted by atomiczombie

I started on Androgel today for the first time. Starting low at 2.5 g per day. In a month I check with my endo doc and see if she wants to take me up to 5g. This is it, the first day of the beginning of a new life, and I'm not scared at all.

Thats fantastic news bud, I'm glad your finally on the right path in life

[Logicaly]

Originally Posted by atomiczombie

I started on Androgel today for the first time. Starting low at 2.5 g per day. In a month I check with my endo doc and see if she wants to take me up to 5g. This is it, the first day of the beginning of a new life, and I'm not scared at all.

I had at one point considered the gel. I would be curious, if you don't mind sharing of course, what made you decide to go with the gel as opposed to another method?

I would also be curious to hear your experiences with it, since most people that document it, that I can find, are on shots rather then gel.