Caregivers and Stress

[girl_dee]

i've never heard of people on SSI getting food stamps. How does this work?

[TruTexan]

If you are getting SSI and social security, you may qualify to get food stamps....New name is called SNAP, Supplimental Nutritional Assistance Program. Apply at your local office, make sure you give them a copy of your SSI benefit letter(if you don't have one call social security and ask them to mail you a copy of your benefit letter for SSI it's diff. than social security), and any other income you get. IT varies from state to state the amount you can recieve in SNAP food benefits. Also, if you qualify and receive SSI and social security, you can most likely qualify to get your state to pay for your medicare part B and D premiums (or most of them) and possibly even for getting medicaid. This depends on the amount of money you get each month and what your state allows. Please contact you local food stamp office to ask about snap and medicaid applications for paying for your medicare premiums. You can also contact social security to ask them about an application for EXTRA HELP for paying for your medications too. . Fill them out, you never know what you qualify for.

[TruTexan]

Dee, I sent you a couple pm's you might could use for info.
Justy.

[girl_dee]

Originally Posted by TruTexan

Dee, I sent you a couple pm's you might could use for info.
Justy.

i got them and thank you.



My stress with my mom is not so much on the finance end, although she would be in a home if she did not live with relatives.

My stress is frustration. Frustration with her enjoying being helpless, her being inconsiderate and unappreciative. i am also very much aware that i put myself in this situation again.

[Jar]

Originally Posted by girl_dee

i got them and thank you.



My stress with my mom is not so much on the finance end, although she would be in a home if she did not live with relatives.

My stress is frustration. Frustration with her enjoying being helpless, her being inconsiderate and unappreciative. i am also very much aware that i put myself in this situation again.

You're doing the best you can and you have a big heart like me. You're in a tough place and she yanks that guilt cord. If it's any consolation I would've done the same as you have .... Really sorry Dee

[girl_dee]

Originally Posted by Jar

You're doing the best you can and you have a big heart like me. You're in a tough place and she yanks that guilt cord. If it's any consolation I would've done the same as you have .... Really sorry Dee

Jar, you have no idea how much these words to me. Truly. i feel like no one gets me, and everyone thinks i am just stupid for doing this, again. Thank you.


i feel all i hear is *close your door, lock her out, tell her to go home, set her straight, don't do this don't do that, TELL her ... " especially from those who would never speak to her this way, like my sister.

and although all those things are the logical thing to do, they are not who i am.Maybe that's why i am in this situation. i feel i can do all those things and not in a way that makes things worse.

When i explore WHY i do this *thing* with her, and i do, i know its because of my upbringing, wanting that acceptance, but i am here now, i have to live with myself, and for me i have to figure out a way to make this work so i am not completely insane, and its one day at a time. New challenges everyday with her.

i came home today from work, and closed my door (signal for stay out!) and spent a while just being home and also sending a message that i am not available 24/7. The whole time i knew she was back there waiting for me to open the door. i am trying to train myself not to think about that and just *be*. THat is the part i am struggling with.

After two hours i texted her to tell her that she could come over and watch tv with me if she wanted to. No reply and she was in the door within 15 seconds.

i basically have to kick her out every single night to give myself time before bed. It feels like i am kicking her out, because going to her place is pretty much the worst punishment in the world.

Its hard to live this way, but i have faith that it will get better and we can get through this.

[TruTexan]

Dee, I do hear you and I do get you. I totally do. I get that she's driving you insane or making you feel that way. I get that you are doing this because of your upbringing.....same here with me and my mom. I DO understand that you have to put your foot down about your mom being over all the time, and I totallly get that ....totally. I Live in a seniors and disabled community and the neighbors around me are constantly knocking on my door and needing mo for something. I had to pretty much get ugly about it because trying to tell them in a nice way that they are too needy just wasn't getting anywhere, and all the complaining about themselves. MAJOR stress overload on me and my own shit ya know. Then I have to deal with my own mom and how she treats me at times. OMG talk about major fucking ptsd/anxiety/depression overload,, can you stay stick a fork in me I"M DONE !! Now that I've gotten the point across to most of my elderly neighbors that I"m not available at their beckon call, that part of my stress is reduced a little. BUT, I still have my own crap to handle and then stuff going on with my mom like the shit I am NOW dealing with. Somedays I just wanna move the fuck away and be done with this, but then that part of me that says NO she's your mom stupid, do what you gotta do ,,,, kicks in inside and I stay. I've given up having a relationship with anyone because I take care of mom even though I don't live with her, I still have too much on my plate to even date anyone. .......besides the fact that I live in BFE little town heehaw tx that doesn't have any gays around here. UGH just another thing I deal with. I miss Austin, I miss my few friends there, I miss my cousins and my other part of my family that I connect with, and someday I want to move back to Austin area or atleast near there. I love it there, but alas, I took on my due dilgence to take on my mom and be here for her and any and all issues that come up be it going to doc. appts or fixing something with the car, her house or anything else that goes haywire like paperwork and such. I do what I can on my end, and my younger sister that lives in TN, she takes care of the bitching at social security and paying some of mom's bills for her out of her own pocket cause mom can't afford things like car insurance, etc. If it weren't for my younger sister, my mom would be really in much worse shape than she is. SO, I get EXACTLY where your coming from. I'm just sorry your mom doesn't appreciate anything about you and what you're doing for her.
Atleast mine will apologize to me an then cry and tell me thank you for helping her after she's yelled and screamed at me about her frustrations and whatever is bothering her. I"m sure you're not even getting anything like a thank you at all or even apology for anything she's said or done in the wrong to you and for that ................I can understand your frustrations with your mom and family with what they tell you that you should do. It's not that easy is it ? I KNOW IT"S NOT....period.
Hang in there my friend. Hang in there.


OH and I don't deal with stress on any level anymore. I can't take it or handle it most of the time. My ptsd and anxiety disorder has trumped those coping tools.

[TruTexan]

Originally Posted by girl_dee

i've never heard of people on SSI getting food stamps. How does this work?

Dee, that special program for SSI....suplemental security income......recipients has to be done with the social security office by asking them to do a Manual Request for Certification for Medicaid in the computer system so SSI sends that information to the health and human services dept. so that they can get on the special program to recieve the highest benefits for food stamps, get their medicaid, and get on the Medicare savings program. IF you apply for food stamps seperately by online or filling out the application even though they are getting an SSI check, the food stamp amount will be lower. I dont' know why exactly, but This is what has happened to my mom today. I was in contact with the main office in Austin today that told me social security needed to send that manual request for medicaid certification in the computer system so they could restore the correct benefits and correct amounts she SHOULD receive via the SSI special program.
Just an FYI for you. oh, and SS is not the same thing as SSI they are two seperate checks/benefits.
SSI is ususually given to those that don't draw enough SS pay and there is a yearly allowance made to cover the difference by getting SSI benefit with SS.
IF you dont' understand any of what I'm saying, call me, I'll be glad to explain it to you, anytime.

PS..........
If you don't get SSI because you make too much SS then you must apply for food stamps via the regular application process.