Poly-friendly mingling/flirting thread

[LoyalWolfsBlade]

Originally Posted by MsBluem

Ideally Chicago/the suburbs for now, I promised my grandma I wouldn't move too far from her while she's living. Haha the perks of being the favoring grand kid.

I just moved from that vicinity last January and boy do I understand promises to a grandma....good luck on the move when it happens

[Sweet Bliss]

Okay, remember I've not finished my first cuppa joy.

I'm fantasy oriented , have you had that "I'm done" moment? But you really mean it? Or the "marginal living" moment, or a "no one wants a disabled lover " second? Or the can't make it through alone living?

It would be platonic ideally, no moving in lovers, this would be a sanctuary for single folks. Pets welcome of course. Mature folks who don't whine about housework, scrubbing toilets or washing dishes or cleaning litter boxes daily or picking up dog potty.

Communal meals, cleaning, financial contribution to groceries, cleaning supplies, toilet paper.

The flip side would be loving companionship, long conversations about topics you find meaningful or important. Funny shared moments. cooking together, sharing knowledge, jokes, boxes of chocolate.

Sisters and brothers living in relative harmony, sharing and caring with and for one another. Like Shakers,, or I don't know, convent or something. No weird uniforms.

Or being at Grandmother's house only you are the same age.

[The_Lady_Snow]

Originally Posted by Sweet Bliss

Okay, remember I've not finished my first cuppa joy.

I'm fantasy oriented , have you had that "I'm done" moment? But you really mean it? Or the "marginal living" moment, or a "no one wants a disabled lover " second? Or the can't make it through alone living?

It would be platonic ideally, no moving in lovers, this would be a sanctuary for single folks. Pets welcome of course. Mature folks who don't whine about housework, scrubbing toilets or washing dishes or cleaning litter boxes daily or picking up dog potty.

Communal meals, cleaning, financial contribution to groceries, cleaning supplies, toilet paper.

The flip side would be loving companionship, long conversations about topics you find meaningful or important. Funny shared moments. cooking together, sharing knowledge, jokes, boxes of chocolate.

Sisters and brothers living in relative harmony, sharing and caring with and for one another. Like Shakers,, or I don't know, convent or something. No weird uniforms.

Or being at Grandmother's house only you are the same age.

This particular kind of setting would not work for *me*, it's to intertwined for my liking.

I don't like sharing my box of chocolates!

Maybe with retirement you can invest in a big home and cater it towards that kind of communal living!

[PearlsNLace]

Ive discovered that I dont actually like communal living. I want my own kitchen and bathroom. I want to go to bed with no one still up playing stupid music when Im trying to sleep. I dont want to harrass anyone that its their time to buy the toilet paper, the soap, or to vacuum anymore.

Its great to have a household of lovers or friends until it is not.

Currently, while my partner is pregnant and dealing with hormones, and then probably for a while after the baby is born my life looks very strangely monogamous. And I am finding that I'm ok with that for the interim.
However, its awesome that all that crazy communal living Ive done in the past.. actually seemed to build community that lasted.
Im lucky. Im not alone.
But Im also glad to have a place like the planet- to reach out to others. Because community matters a lot to me- I think it may be my lithium, my prozac, and my valium.

[JustLovelyJenn]

My bio family sometimes jokes that we need to buy one piece of property and all build a house on it. I know that having everyone I consider family on a single piece of property is impractical, however, this is the type of feeling and enviornment I hope to someday create for my home. One where people feel comfortable and welcome, and involved, no matter if they are staying for dinner, or moving in.

I think its important to have both time together and time apart. Whether the people are intimately involved or not, I want a group that is comfortable in each others spaces, that can work together in a communial living environment, but still have the ability and right to spend time apart. I know that likely, it will not be an easy thing to accomplish, but its something to work towards.

Somehow, I feel like this thought is not complete... but, its where I am leaving it for now.

[nycfem]

Just wanted to let people know that we also have a butch femme compound thread, ya know, like forming a butch femme compound to go live on. Might be a better fit for some than the poly thread.

[Sweet Bliss]

Originally Posted by nycfem

Just wanted to let people know that we also have a butch femme compound thread, ya know, like forming a butch femme compound to go live on. Might be a better fit for some than the poly thread.

thanks, will go look for it.

[Sweet Bliss]

Well, depending on who would be interested it might evolve into a more fluid arrangement or more structured depending on needs of the group.

Ya I would say it's more like co housing... being greedy and selfish and not playing well with others prevents me from going poly..... for example I would never want to share my Honey with ANYONE.

Am thinking it would be more folks who don't want to live alone, or might need minimal assistance or would improve standard of living.

My fantasy would be being "den mother" for an established poly group. I enjoy lots of physical contact, so would be nice to cuddle on couch with group members, share back rubs, foot massage etc. Like I said, fantasy ..... with that right?

My fantasy group would be Wolfyone, Katniss, Scotsontherocks, Huge-smile, Daktari and me. All funny, neat/orderly , artistic, worldly, great cooks etc. And never a dull moment.

Well, anyway..... that's all. Thanks for reading.

[CherylNYC]

Originally Posted by Sweet Bliss

Okay, remember I've not finished my first cuppa joy.

I'm fantasy oriented , have you had that "I'm done" moment? But you really mean it? Or the "marginal living" moment, or a "no one wants a disabled lover " second? Or the can't make it through alone living?

It would be platonic ideally, no moving in lovers, this would be a sanctuary for single folks….

...Or being at Grandmother's house only you are the same age.

But what would happen once a resident of Grandma's House For Responsible Adults found a partner? Would they have to move out? What about sleep-overs?

And then there would be the inevitable secret pairing-up of GHFRA residents. I have visions of Responsible Adult residents sneaking furtively through the halls in their shearling slippers and flannel nightgowns, looking both ways as they hope the hinges don't squeak while letting themselves into their illicit lover's bedroom. And then getting busted trying to sneak back to their own room at dawn. It reminds me of walking smack into my father in his bathrobe as I snuck back into my upstairs bedroom window a little later than usual when I was a teenager.

Funny, but he never said a word to me about that time.

[The_Lady_Snow]

I have thought about this more, so I have a bit more thought on this...

Your thoughts about a communal household the way you have put them in words, does not fit my definition of polyamory.

It's just communal living, once my sexual, social, personal space is having to have the acceptance, ok, or green flag from 7 other people it becomes way to oppressive for *me*..

It would be like moving in my parents, or sibling, or any other kind of person who is going to have the expectation I show up for supper.

That would make me *cry*, *scream*, *run away* etc etc..

Some people don't like onions and mushrooms, I would be all shades of upset if my palate is not satisfied let alone all my other compartments...

[CherylNYC]

Originally Posted by The_Lady_Snow

I have thought about this more, so I have a bit more thought on this...

Your thoughts about a communal household the way you have put them in words, does not fit my definition of polyamory.

It's just communal living, once my sexual, social, personal space is having to have the acceptance, ok, or green flag from 7 other people it becomes way to oppressive for *me*..

It would be like moving in my parents, or sibling, or any other kind of person who is going to have the expectation I show up for supper.

That would make me *cry*, *scream*, *run away* etc etc..

Some people don't like onions and mushrooms, I would be all shades of upset if my palate is not satisfied let alone all my other compartments...

There's a movement in Europe called co-housing. It provides a bit more personal autonomy than straight-up communal living. SweetBliss's ideal living situation sounds more like co-housing to me.

Either way, you're right that it doesn't have much to do with polyamory since it doesn't involve matters of the heart or the gonads.

[DapperButch]

Originally Posted by CherylNYC

But what would happen once a resident of Grandma's House For Responsible Adults found a partner? Would they have to move out? What about sleep-overs?

And then there would be the inevitable secret pairing-up of GHFRA residents. I have visions of Responsible Adult residents sneaking furtively through the halls in their shearling slippers and flannel nightgowns, looking both ways as they hope the hinges don't squeak while letting themselves into their illicit lover's bedroom. And then getting busted trying to sneak back to their own room at dawn. It reminds me of walking smack into my father in his bathrobe as I snuck back into my upstairs bedroom window a little later than usual when I was a teenager.

Funny, but he never said a word to me about that time.

Sounds like the complaint of nursing homes after Viagra came out on the market (true)!