Poly-friendly mingling/flirting thread - Page 3

sirenfemme · 05-27-2012, 05:35 PM

Poly also and have had long relationships of depth and quality.I'm looking around the east coast for options. For those of you who are poly how are you finding people who fit?

aishah · 06-02-2012, 07:46 PM

mostly by accident so far

i also like places like okcupid and fetlife, where i can state up front that i am polyamorous, but i haven't met many people successfully through there.

TenderKnight · 06-02-2012, 07:57 PM

yeah, I have mainly found people at random.. Thinking of stating that I'm poly on my profile here as well.. May cause less confusion. I find the hardest part about dating or talking with people that are new or ingnorant of poly is explaining how I can have feelings for someone and still have feelings for other people and it not take away from the fact that I have very real feelings for all involved.. Blah, lol

Have also been finding it a bit hard as of late because I am allowing myself to be vulnerable again and have been a bit "singed".. Not really burned, just testing the waters with someone and then having that feeling of , "OH! ouch.. yeah, this ain't going to work out.." lol Ah well

Such is love and life

The "singe" is better then not feeling or experiencing the other wonderfulness that intimate connection can bring.

That's another thing.. I can get sex pretty easy.. I am longing for intimacy, and that is the hardest thing to find sometimes..

OK, will shush now. Glad we have a poly thread, maybe some of you can relate

-Tony

PoeticWitch · 06-03-2012, 08:28 AM

*pops in* my last post would now be considered incorrect. I still consider myself a poly person but i am no longer involved. But I am still not looking. Time for me time, to heal my heavy heart. I see I am out of practice on the flirting. Going to have to brush up on my skills..

sirenfemme · 06-17-2012, 05:29 PM

[QUOTE=TenderKnight;596376]That's another thing.. I can get sex pretty easy.. I am longing for intimacy, and that is the hardest thing to find sometimes..

I completely agree with you. A willingness to have conversations of depth, eye contact and mutual curiosity. It is not always the easiest piece to find.

skeeter_01 · 06-17-2012, 07:30 PM

i'm a flirt!!...i can't help it...!! i have waiteresses wanting to cut my meat for me!

funny thing is...if anyone flirts with ME? oh dear GOD! i run around in circles like my gramma's little rat terrier "susie"...damn near piddling on the floor like she used to do....uhhhhh...susie...not gramma...

poly? not so much...but i TOTALLY understand it!

anyway!! LOVE to get my flirt on!!

skeet

LoyalWolfsBlade · 01-26-2013, 12:07 AM

So obviously I am NOT the only Poly member on this site and I know I am NOT the only flirt on this site but I was looking in the all the single threads and missing the ability to flirt and maybe start something up with like minded people.

*Shrugs* so I figured I would bump our thread and see if anyone is around....

SleepyButch · 07-21-2013, 09:17 PM

Hello... anyone home.... echo... echo... echo...

Just thought I'd write and see if anyone was around.

I'm in My first open relationship. It's been six months now and I've been learning a lot. She has a primary partner already so I'm open to other possibilities if they happen to come around. I have noticed though that not a lot of femmes want to date/talk to you if you are dating someone else, which I have to respect.

Anyway, I love to flirt so here I am.

WingsOnFire · 07-21-2013, 10:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SleepyButch

Hello... anyone home.... echo... echo... echo...

Just thought I'd write and see if anyone was around.

I'm in My first open relationship. It's been six months now and I've been learning a lot. She has a primary partner already so I'm open to other possibilities if they happen to come around. I have noticed though that not a lot of femmes want to date/talk to you if you are dating someone else, which I have to respect.

Anyway, I love to flirt so here I am.

Just stopped by to say yes we are still around lol... while I am currently on hiatis from flirting I definitely have gained a much better understanding of poly relationships over the past 4 years than I had ever before... They are definitely not for everyone.. but I also strongly believe it working on the current relationship before seeking another to add to it...

Just my personal opinion but it helps solidify the relationship. Glad to see the thread is still alive

QueenofSmirks · 07-21-2013, 11:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SleepyButch

Hello... anyone home.... echo... echo... echo...

Just thought I'd write and see if anyone was around.

I'm in My first open relationship. It's been six months now and I've been learning a lot. She has a primary partner already so I'm open to other possibilities if they happen to come around. I have noticed though that not a lot of femmes want to date/talk to you if you are dating someone else, which I have to respect.

Anyway, I love to flirt so here I am.

6 months is good... sounds like it's working out for you so far

I don't think the dilemma you're facing is a femme thing. Most people I've met don't want to date or talk to someone who is dating someone else, which makes a lot of sense since most of us have been socialized toward monogamy. Keep looking.... we're around, but we're definitely the minority

QueenofSmirks · 07-21-2013, 11:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WingsOnFire

Just stopped by to say yes we are still around lol... while I am currently on hiatis from flirting I definitely have gained a much better understanding of poly relationships over the past 4 years than I had ever before... They are definitely not for everyone.. but I also strongly believe it working on the current relationship before seeking another to add to it...

Just my personal opinion but it helps solidify the relationship. Glad to see the thread is still alive

I thought this would be a good place to comment - not all poly relationships are based on one primary relationship plus "extras". Some are completely open - no primary relationships, some are triangular - three equal partners, some are closed - equal between all partners. There are a lot of variations. But I do agree about primary relationship models... if that relationship isn't strong, adding another person to it is likely not going to make it better.

LoyalWolfsBlade · 07-22-2013, 12:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by QueenofSmirks

6 months is good... sounds like it's working out for you so far

I don't think the dilemma you're facing is a femme thing. Most people I've met don't want to date or talk to someone who is dating someone else, which makes a lot of sense since most of us have been socialized toward monogamy. Keep looking.... we're around, but we're definitely the minority

First I agree. If the other person is not Poly or Open in some form they feel uncomfortable at the least to talk to those of us that are. I would also like to add that once you have claimed to be Poly it is very hard to get others to flirt or date you even when you are single...take it from someone that knows...

girl_dee · 07-22-2013, 04:51 AM

Mingling.....

there are so many misconceptions about Poly one must be careful when even thinking about entering into this sort of arrangement.

Some think it's a 24/7 multiple partner sex party

Some think it's a way for a Dominant to get their sex on with a bunch of submissives with no regard to their well being

Some think that all members of a poly family have sex....

Some think they can try it on for size and when there is an issue they can say *oh well forget it lets go back to our old life*... well once you go there life is forever changed.

Be ready. Be ready to be seen in public and run into friends with another and have your integrity tested. Be ready to not be the center of the universe with a partner at all times. Be ready to explain to your family what's going on to a certain degree or if you do explain it all, be ready to be judged.

Poly is a wonderful thing, i am all about family.. i am wired for it.. but i am also a believer that if there is ONE iota of a hidden agenda, ONE dishonest thought or action, anything less than 100% honesty and communication that there is a domino effect that happens and it rocks the whole family, and can tear you apart.

QueenofSmirks · 07-22-2013, 07:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ~KnightsBlade~

,,,I would also like to add that once you have claimed to be Poly it is very hard to get others to flirt or date you even when you are single...take it from someone that knows...

That makes sense to me. If I were monogamous, and wanted my partner to be monogamous, it wouldn't make sense to date someone who is poly, even if they aren't currently dating anyone.

The_Lady_Snow · 07-22-2013, 08:31 AM

If you (general) are monogamously wired, poly of ANY kind will fail. If that wiring is set, grounded and expected your (general) best bet is to steer clear of anyone who is poly, it's just not going to work for anyone.

WingsOnFire · 07-22-2013, 09:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by QueenofSmirks

I thought this would be a good place to comment - not all poly relationships are based on one primary relationship plus "extras". Some are completely open - no primary relationships, some are triangular - three equal partners, some are closed - equal between all partners. There are a lot of variations. But I do agree about primary relationship models... if that relationship isn't strong, adding another person to it is likely not going to make it better.

ahhh... Thank you so much for expounding on this... my brain is fried from my weekend... and I didnt really put thoughts together clearly when I posted... I do agree.. and they are all so beautiful no matter what the relationship looks like...

I love having indepth conversations here...

LoyalWolfsBlade · 07-22-2013, 01:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by QueenofSmirks

That makes sense to me. If I were monogamous, and wanted my partner to be monogamous, it wouldn't make sense to date someone who is poly, even if they aren't currently dating anyone.

Oh it makes sense to me also. However, I have talked to people new to the Poly lifestyle that wondered why they were having a problem meeting people after a relationship or when they were single. I just wanted Sleepy to know this might happen.

I also think it is a good thing because it is honesty. One of the most important thing in my opinion to make Poly work is honesty and that starts on day one.

I have had women that are wired for monogamy attempt to date me however they were aware that I am not wired for that type of relationship. It just never works for me to onlt be with one person.

Thank you Dee or your input as well. Because in my experience Poly is not any of those things. I have had many relationships that did not involve sex but the person was just as important to me. I also have had relationships that did not involve D/s while being with others that did.

Poly comes in many shades of the spectrum.

bright_arrow · 08-14-2013, 06:49 PM

When I was younger and still in the closet, I had a girlfriend but also a boyfriend, more for show, but a good friend of mine. Closest I have ever come to being poly! Don't think I could do it.. Hell, I like to be the center of someone's universe

.. but I respect those that do. And I have to second what someone said earlier, if I was single I do not think I would broach the topic of dating with someone who is poly, no matter how much I may like them - would recognize I couldn't be their everything, and that would be that.

Bad_boi · 09-19-2013, 06:44 AM

Once everything stops being hectic I'd like to join a polyfamily or make one. Then make a cuddle pile with kisses and sex.<3

girl_dee · 09-20-2013, 05:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bad_boi

Once everything stops being hectic I'd like to join a polyfamily or make one. Then make a cuddle pile with kisses and sex.<3

no offense but if you think that's all there is to poly, boy are you in for a surprise. You ain't seen what hectic can be, lol. It's also an amazing wonderful thing if it's taken seriously and all are honest.

Good luck

06-02-2012, 07:57 PM	#43
TenderKnight Member How Do You Identify?: Kinky Poly Transman Preferred Pronoun?: He Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: Monroe, NC Posts: 551 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 773 Thanked 822 Times in 256 Posts Rep Power: 2402408	yeah, I have mainly found people at random.. Thinking of stating that I'm poly on my profile here as well.. May cause less confusion. I find the hardest part about dating or talking with people that are new or ingnorant of poly is explaining how I can have feelings for someone and still have feelings for other people and it not take away from the fact that I have very real feelings for all involved.. Blah, lol Have also been finding it a bit hard as of late because I am allowing myself to be vulnerable again and have been a bit "singed".. Not really burned, just testing the waters with someone and then having that feeling of , "OH! ouch.. yeah, this ain't going to work out.." lol Ah well Such is love and life The "singe" is better then not feeling or experiencing the other wonderfulness that intimate connection can bring. That's another thing.. I can get sex pretty easy.. I am longing for intimacy, and that is the hardest thing to find sometimes.. OK, will shush now. Glad we have a poly thread, maybe some of you can relate -Tony __________________ The beatings shall continue.. until moral improves..

06-03-2012, 08:28 AM	#44
PoeticWitch Member How Do You Identify?: Queer... that is all you get Preferred Pronoun?: um... she.. I think... shrug call me anything that pleases ya Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Toledo, Ohio Posts: 562 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 172 Thanked 1,131 Times in 377 Posts Rep Power: 7056675	pops in my last post would now be considered incorrect. I still consider myself a poly person but i am no longer involved. But I am still not looking. Time for me time, to heal my heavy heart. I see I am out of practice on the flirting. Going to have to brush up on my skills.. __________________ Things happen, no rhyme or reason, either learn from it and grow. Or don't and fail this part of life.

06-17-2012, 05:29 PM	#45
sirenfemme Junior Member How Do You Identify?: high femme butches make me curvy Preferred Pronoun?: Beautiful, she and sweetheart Join Date: Apr 2012 Location: Eastern seaboard Posts: 6 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 8 Thanked 34 Times in 5 Posts Rep Power: 0	intimacy [QUOTE=TenderKnight;596376]That's another thing.. I can get sex pretty easy.. I am longing for intimacy, and that is the hardest thing to find sometimes.. I completely agree with you. A willingness to have conversations of depth, eye contact and mutual curiosity. It is not always the easiest piece to find. __________________ SirenFemme

06-17-2012, 07:30 PM	#46
skeeter_01 Member How Do You Identify?: stone butch Preferred Pronoun?: Hey you! Relationship Status: Sleeping single in a double bed.. Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: ann arbor, michigan Posts: 195 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 288 Thanked 477 Times in 130 Posts Rep Power: 3007277	i'm a flirt!!...i can't help it...!! i have waiteresses wanting to cut my meat for me! funny thing is...if anyone flirts with ME? oh dear GOD! i run around in circles like my gramma's little rat terrier "susie"...damn near piddling on the floor like she used to do....uhhhhh...susie...not gramma... poly? not so much...but i TOTALLY understand it! anyway!! LOVE to get my flirt on!! skeet __________________ Texting while driving is a real KILLER!!! ‎"It takes hundreds of nuts to hold a car together...but it takes only one nut to scatter them all over the highway..." Jeff PARAMEDIC

01-26-2013, 12:07 AM	#47
LoyalWolfsBlade Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Pre-Op FtM, Preferred Pronoun?: Masculine ones plz Relationship Status: Single but haven't given up on finding the One Join Date: Apr 2012 Location: I gaze upon the same moon as you do Posts: 3,827 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 13,214 Thanked 9,646 Times in 3,123 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	So obviously I am NOT the only Poly member on this site and I know I am NOT the only flirt on this site but I was looking in the all the single threads and missing the ability to flirt and maybe start something up with like minded people. Shrugs so I figured I would bump our thread and see if anyone is around.... __________________ Life should never be stagnant hence my quest for new knowledge will continue until my last breath. Wolf

05-27-2012, 05:35 PM	#41
sirenfemme Junior Member How Do You Identify?: high femme butches make me curvy Preferred Pronoun?: Beautiful, she and sweetheart Join Date: Apr 2012 Location: Eastern seaboard Posts: 6 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 8 Thanked 34 Times in 5 Posts Rep Power: 0	Poly also and have had long relationships of depth and quality.I'm looking around the east coast for options. For those of you who are poly how are you finding people who fit?

06-02-2012, 07:46 PM	#42
aishah Member How Do You Identify?: queer stone femme shark baby girl Preferred Pronoun?: she, her, little one Relationship Status: dating myself. Join Date: Jan 2012 Location: dallas, tx Posts: 1,495 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 13,823 Thanked 6,442 Times in 1,288 Posts Rep Power: 21474851	mostly by accident so far i also like places like okcupid and fetlife, where i can state up front that i am polyamorous, but i haven't met many people successfully through there.

07-21-2013, 09:17 PM	#48
SleepyButch Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Dude Preferred Pronoun?: He, Him Relationship Status: Taken Join Date: Jun 2012 Location: Hidden Valley Ranch Posts: 3,511 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 6,220 Thanked 11,248 Times in 2,754 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	Hello... anyone home.... echo... echo... echo... Just thought I'd write and see if anyone was around. I'm in My first open relationship. It's been six months now and I've been learning a lot. She has a primary partner already so I'm open to other possibilities if they happen to come around. I have noticed though that not a lot of femmes want to date/talk to you if you are dating someone else, which I have to respect. Anyway, I love to flirt so here I am. __________________ . You cannot embrace those things that will not embrace you back.

07-22-2013, 04:51 AM	#53
girl_dee Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: dee Relationship Status: Hitched up Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Livin’ the Dream Posts: 24,079 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 30,560 Thanked 54,833 Times in 13,908 Posts Rep Power: 21474873	Mingling..... there are so many misconceptions about Poly one must be careful when even thinking about entering into this sort of arrangement. Some think it's a 24/7 multiple partner sex party Some think it's a way for a Dominant to get their sex on with a bunch of submissives with no regard to their well being Some think that all members of a poly family have sex.... Some think they can try it on for size and when there is an issue they can say oh well forget it lets go back to our old life... well once you go there life is forever changed. Be ready. Be ready to be seen in public and run into friends with another and have your integrity tested. Be ready to not be the center of the universe with a partner at all times. Be ready to explain to your family what's going on to a certain degree or if you do explain it all, be ready to be judged. Poly is a wonderful thing, i am all about family.. i am wired for it.. but i am also a believer that if there is ONE iota of a hidden agenda, ONE dishonest thought or action, anything less than 100% honesty and communication that there is a domino effect that happens and it rocks the whole family, and can tear you apart.

07-22-2013, 08:31 AM	#55
The_Lady_Snow MILLION $$$ PUSSY How Do You Identify?: Kinky, Raw, Perverted, Uber Queer Alpha Femme Preferred Pronoun?: Iconic Ms. Relationship Status: Keeper of 3, only one has the map to my freckles Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: La Reina del Sur Posts: 22,488 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 32,231 Thanked 80,081 Times in 15,669 Posts Rep Power: 21474874	Wiring If you (general) are monogamously wired, poly of ANY kind will fail. If that wiring is set, grounded and expected your (general) best bet is to steer clear of anyone who is poly, it's just not going to work for anyone. __________________ "If you’re going to play these dirty games of ours, then you might as well indulge completely. It’s all about turning back into an animal and that’s the beauty of it. Place your guilt on the sidewalk and take a blow torch to it (guilt is usually worthless anyway). Be perverted, be filthy, do things that mannered people shouldn’t do. If you’re going to be gross then go for it and don’t wimp out."---Master Aiden

08-14-2013, 06:49 PM	#58
bright_arrow ☆ the stars are aligned ☆ How Do You Identify?: one queer mama Preferred Pronoun?: she/her Relationship Status: married to my Boo Daddy <3 Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: nor cal Posts: 2,910 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,644 Thanked 9,363 Times in 2,296 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	When I was younger and still in the closet, I had a girlfriend but also a boyfriend, more for show, but a good friend of mine. Closest I have ever come to being poly! Don't think I could do it.. Hell, I like to be the center of someone's universe .. but I respect those that do. And I have to second what someone said earlier, if I was single I do not think I would broach the topic of dating with someone who is poly, no matter how much I may like them - would recognize I couldn't be their everything, and that would be that.

09-19-2013, 06:44 AM	#59
Bad_boi Member How Do You Identify?: Transman (male) Preferred Pronoun?: He, Him, His ect. Relationship Status: Handsome bastard. Tournaments Won: 1 Join Date: May 2010 Location: Seattle Posts: 727 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 122 Thanked 1,824 Times in 499 Posts Rep Power: 0	Once everything stops being hectic I'd like to join a polyfamily or make one. Then make a cuddle pile with kisses and sex.<3