Poly-friendly mingling/flirting thread

The_Lady_Snow · 01-05-2014, 12:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sweet Bliss

Okay, remember I've not finished my first cuppa joy.

I'm fantasy oriented , have you had that "I'm done" moment? But you really mean it? Or the "marginal living" moment, or a "no one wants a disabled lover " second? Or the can't make it through alone living?

It would be platonic ideally, no moving in lovers, this would be a sanctuary for single folks. Pets welcome of course. Mature folks who don't whine about housework, scrubbing toilets or washing dishes or cleaning litter boxes daily or picking up dog potty.

Communal meals, cleaning, financial contribution to groceries, cleaning supplies, toilet paper.

The flip side would be loving companionship, long conversations about topics you find meaningful or important. Funny shared moments. cooking together, sharing knowledge, jokes, boxes of chocolate.

Sisters and brothers living in relative harmony, sharing and caring with and for one another. Like Shakers,, or I don't know, convent or something. No weird uniforms.

Or being at Grandmother's house only you are the same age.

This particular kind of setting would not work for *me*, it's to intertwined for my liking.

I don't like sharing my box of chocolates!

Maybe with retirement you can invest in a big home and cater it towards that kind of communal living!

PearlsNLace · 01-05-2014, 05:00 PM

Ive discovered that I dont actually like communal living. I want my own kitchen and bathroom. I want to go to bed with no one still up playing stupid music when Im trying to sleep. I dont want to harrass anyone that its their time to buy the toilet paper, the soap, or to vacuum anymore.

Its great to have a household of lovers or friends until it is not.

Currently, while my partner is pregnant and dealing with hormones, and then probably for a while after the baby is born my life looks very strangely monogamous. And I am finding that I'm ok with that for the interim.
However, its awesome that all that crazy communal living Ive done in the past.. actually seemed to build community that lasted.
Im lucky. Im not alone.
But Im also glad to have a place like the planet- to reach out to others. Because community matters a lot to me- I think it may be my lithium, my prozac, and my valium.

JustLovelyJenn · 01-05-2014, 06:12 PM

My bio family sometimes jokes that we need to buy one piece of property and all build a house on it. I know that having everyone I consider family on a single piece of property is impractical, however, this is the type of feeling and enviornment I hope to someday create for my home. One where people feel comfortable and welcome, and involved, no matter if they are staying for dinner, or moving in.

I think its important to have both time together and time apart. Whether the people are intimately involved or not, I want a group that is comfortable in each others spaces, that can work together in a communial living environment, but still have the ability and right to spend time apart. I know that likely, it will not be an easy thing to accomplish, but its something to work towards.

Somehow, I feel like this thought is not complete... but, its where I am leaving it for now.

nycfem · 01-05-2014, 07:07 PM

Just wanted to let people know that we also have a butch femme compound thread, ya know, like forming a butch femme compound to go live on. Might be a better fit for some than the poly thread.

Sweet Bliss · 01-05-2014, 07:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nycfem

Just wanted to let people know that we also have a butch femme compound thread, ya know, like forming a butch femme compound to go live on. Might be a better fit for some than the poly thread.

thanks, will go look for it.

LoyalWolfsBlade · 01-05-2014, 07:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JustLovelyJenn

My bio family sometimes jokes that we need to buy one piece of property and all build a house on it. I know that having everyone I consider family on a single piece of property is impractical, however, this is the type of feeling and enviornment I hope to someday create for my home. One where people feel comfortable and welcome, and involved, no matter if they are staying for dinner, or moving in.

I think its important to have both time together and time apart. Whether the people are intimately involved or not, I want a group that is comfortable in each others spaces, that can work together in a communial living environment, but still have the ability and right to spend time apart. I know that likely, it will not be an easy thing to accomplish, but its something to work towards.

Somehow, I feel like this thought is not complete... but, its where I am leaving it for now.

Ok so I have a question for you and other femmes even other Alpha's no matter how they id. Whenever I have had a Poly House and many that I have heard of been around there has usually been one Alpha for the poly house. However, more and more I am meeting people that let's say wants me as a primary but also wants to see another Alpha. Since we are talking communal living and poly relationships then add to the fact that I prefer to have everyone I am seeing under one roof (in an idea setting of course).. My question is is it even possible to have more then one Alpha in a House or will our egos kill each other? Has anyone ever experienced it or seen it happen successfully?

I have once in a gay males poly house but there was still a hierarchy with a Master and a Sir and the submissives. I am just curious what others thoughts on the matter is,,,,

The_Lady_Snow · 01-05-2014, 07:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ~KnightsBlade~

Ok so I have a question for you and other femmes even other Alpha's no matter how they id. Whenever I have had a Poly House and many that I have heard of been around there has usually been one Alpha for the poly house. However, more and more I am meeting people that let's say wants me as a primary but also wants to see another Alpha. Since we are talking communal living and poly relationships then add to the fact that I prefer to have everyone I am seeing under one roof (in an idea setting of course).. My question is is it even possible to have more then one Alpha in a House or will our egos kill each other? Has anyone ever experienced it or seen it happen successfully?

I have once in a gay males poly house but there was still a hierarchy with a Master and a Sir and the submissives. I am just curious what others thoughts on the matter is,,,,

Are you talking a poly household or Leather Communal living?

I am confused, cause the polyamory thread is now mixed in with communal living

Thank you in advance for clarifying

JustLovelyJenn · 01-05-2014, 07:54 PM

I don't think I have ever considered having more then one "alpha" in a house. I am trying to think back over past situations, and even considerations, and I can't see that for me as a possibility. I do like the idea of having everyone together, that is deffinently in my "dream come true" file, however, the higherarchy needs to exist... I don't like the potential for my partners to be competing with one another, that doesnt sound like a peaceful family life to me.

Sweet Bliss · 01-05-2014, 07:10 PM

Well, depending on who would be interested it might evolve into a more fluid arrangement or more structured depending on needs of the group.

Ya I would say it's more like co housing... being greedy and selfish and not playing well with others prevents me from going poly..... for example I would never want to share my Honey with ANYONE.

Am thinking it would be more folks who don't want to live alone, or might need minimal assistance or would improve standard of living.

My fantasy would be being "den mother" for an established poly group. I enjoy lots of physical contact, so would be nice to cuddle on couch with group members, share back rubs, foot massage etc. Like I said, fantasy .....

with that right?

My fantasy group would be Wolfyone, Katniss, Scotsontherocks, Huge-smile, Daktari and me. All funny, neat/orderly , artistic, worldly, great cooks etc. And never a dull moment.

Well, anyway..... that's all. Thanks for reading.

01-05-2014, 05:00 PM	#2
PearlsNLace Member How Do You Identify?: queer Preferred Pronoun?: They/Them & her/she Relationship Status: Lucky, very lucky Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Portlandia, Oregon Posts: 427 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 875 Thanked 1,284 Times in 315 Posts Rep Power: 6505517	Ive discovered that I dont actually like communal living. I want my own kitchen and bathroom. I want to go to bed with no one still up playing stupid music when Im trying to sleep. I dont want to harrass anyone that its their time to buy the toilet paper, the soap, or to vacuum anymore. Its great to have a household of lovers or friends until it is not. Currently, while my partner is pregnant and dealing with hormones, and then probably for a while after the baby is born my life looks very strangely monogamous. And I am finding that I'm ok with that for the interim. However, its awesome that all that crazy communal living Ive done in the past.. actually seemed to build community that lasted. Im lucky. Im not alone. But Im also glad to have a place like the planet- to reach out to others. Because community matters a lot to me- I think it may be my lithium, my prozac, and my valium. __________________ YOU are Unique and Unrepeatable AND your not alone. thetrevorproject.org

01-05-2014, 06:12 PM	#3
JustLovelyJenn Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She/her Relationship Status: That's Need to Know Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Aberdeen, WA Posts: 4,478 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 12,464 Thanked 13,992 Times in 3,684 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	My bio family sometimes jokes that we need to buy one piece of property and all build a house on it. I know that having everyone I consider family on a single piece of property is impractical, however, this is the type of feeling and enviornment I hope to someday create for my home. One where people feel comfortable and welcome, and involved, no matter if they are staying for dinner, or moving in. I think its important to have both time together and time apart. Whether the people are intimately involved or not, I want a group that is comfortable in each others spaces, that can work together in a communial living environment, but still have the ability and right to spend time apart. I know that likely, it will not be an easy thing to accomplish, but its something to work towards. Somehow, I feel like this thought is not complete... but, its where I am leaving it for now. __________________ --Jenn

01-05-2014, 07:07 PM	#4
nycfem Moderator How Do You Identify?: femme sub Preferred Pronoun?: Baby Grrl Relationship Status: Attached Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: NYC Posts: 6,794 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 52,987 Thanked 21,427 Times in 5,101 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	Just wanted to let people know that we also have a butch femme compound thread, ya know, like forming a butch femme compound to go live on. Might be a better fit for some than the poly thread. __________________ *** How do I... ?** Check out the Members Helping Members thread: http://www.butchfemmeplanet.com/foru...embers+Helping

01-05-2014, 07:54 PM	#8
JustLovelyJenn Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She/her Relationship Status: That's Need to Know Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Aberdeen, WA Posts: 4,478 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 12,464 Thanked 13,992 Times in 3,684 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	I don't think I have ever considered having more then one "alpha" in a house. I am trying to think back over past situations, and even considerations, and I can't see that for me as a possibility. I do like the idea of having everyone together, that is deffinently in my "dream come true" file, however, the higherarchy needs to exist... I don't like the potential for my partners to be competing with one another, that doesnt sound like a peaceful family life to me. __________________ --Jenn

01-05-2014, 07:10 PM	#9
Sweet Bliss Senior Member How Do You Identify?: I Am Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: solo Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: the Beach, Pacific side Posts: 4,160 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 5,354 Thanked 7,268 Times in 2,159 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	Well, depending on who would be interested it might evolve into a more fluid arrangement or more structured depending on needs of the group. Ya I would say it's more like co housing... being greedy and selfish and not playing well with others prevents me from going poly..... for example I would never want to share my Honey with ANYONE. Am thinking it would be more folks who don't want to live alone, or might need minimal assistance or would improve standard of living. My fantasy would be being "den mother" for an established poly group. I enjoy lots of physical contact, so would be nice to cuddle on couch with group members, share back rubs, foot massage etc. Like I said, fantasy ..... with that right? My fantasy group would be Wolfyone, Katniss, Scotsontherocks, Huge-smile, Daktari and me. All funny, neat/orderly , artistic, worldly, great cooks etc. And never a dull moment. Well, anyway..... that's all. Thanks for reading.