Flirting in a Non-GLBT Space

EmJay · 02-09-2014, 08:23 PM

I find it soooo hard to meet butches and FTMs.

I live in a small town about an hour outside Vancouver. There is no LGBQT community here that I know of, so any cuties I see are in non-LGBQT areas like grocery stores or walking around the mall or something like that.

I am a femme and there are no indications that I am queer. There for highly unlikely I will be approached and I am wayyy too shy to approach someone else.

I like what someone posted about having a cute rainbow neclace. I think I will invest in one for myself. Great idea

HoneyB.. Highfive on the smile from a butch. I'm sad to hear it does not happen more often though! I've always had hope that if I made it out to Vancouver the gay community would be swarming and I'd be like.. These are my people! Lol

Sweet Bliss · 02-09-2014, 08:49 PM

Hummm.

Ya know, back in the olden days it was customary to hand some one a introduction card of sorts. Kinda like a business card only no business per se..

Maybe a card with a "we are family " kind of photo image or logo with contact info would be appropriate? I have blank biz cards with a fab image I take to art shows or fairs so I can hook up with other artists.

Maybe you artsy types could suggest interesting images?

just a random thought

imperfect_cupcake · 02-09-2014, 09:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by EmJay

I find it soooo hard to meet butches and FTMs.

I live in a small town about an hour outside Vancouver. There is no LGBQT community here that I know of, so any cuties I see are in non-LGBQT areas like grocery stores or walking around the mall or something like that.

I am a femme and there are no indications that I am queer. There for highly unlikely I will be approached and I am wayyy too shy to approach someone else.

I like what someone posted about having a cute rainbow neclace. I think I will invest in one for myself. Great idea

HoneyB.. Highfive on the smile from a butch. I'm sad to hear it does not happen more often though! I've always had hope that if I made it out to Vancouver the gay community would be swarming and I'd be like.. These are my people! Lol

there is actually a very large queer, dyke and genderqueer community here but over the age of 35 its very difficult to break into. I just threw myself at the feet of a very sweet leatherdyke daddy who has a mutual friend of mine and said "HELP"
which was agonizing for me to do, as I'm damn independent. she said "aw. I know it took me ten years (she was 50 when she moved), I'll help ya." you need an introduction and balls of steel. vancouverites are friendly on the street and in the train bit the queers are kinda beyond apathetic if it goes further than their mates. too much pot.
at one event I tried very warmly and finally gave up amd went and flirted with the huge Jamaican bouncer dude in the end cause no one would have a conversation longer than 90 seconds with me or introduceme to anyone. I think they are a little inept. the drag queens are great though. when lost I just go sit with a drag queens.

they are here though, oodles. The East end of vancouver has heaps. if you are under 35 you won't have a problem.

EmJay · 02-09-2014, 10:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by honeybarbara

there is actually a very large queer, dyke and genderqueer community here but over the age of 35 its very difficult to break into. I just threw myself at the feet of a very sweet leatherdyke daddy who has a mutual friend of mine and said "HELP"
which was agonizing for me to do, as I'm damn independent. she said "aw. I know it took me ten years (she was 50 when she moved), I'll help ya." you need an introduction and balls of steel. vancouverites are friendly on the street and in the train bit the queers are kinda beyond apathetic if it goes further than their mates. too much pot.
at one event I tried very warmly and finally gave up amd went and flirted with the huge Jamaican bouncer dude in the end cause no one would have a conversation longer than 90 seconds with me or introduceme to anyone. I think they are a little inept. the drag queens are great though. when lost I just go sit with a drag queens.
they are here though, oodles. The East end of vancouver has heaps. if you are under 35 you won't have a problem.

I am under 35, but rarely connect with those that are. When circumstances change in my life I think I will definitely move out that way and become more of a city girl. There's not much diversity out here and Vancouver is always fun. And on the beach. Can't complain there

I went to the pride parade out there 2 years ago and was so smitten with the butches, it was way more than anything I've ever experienced out here. But when the time is right I'm sure the right one will come along for us all!

imperfect_cupcake · 02-10-2014, 02:38 PM

Lol oh, I've had several right ones in my life time, thanks.

Go to Man Up. It's bursting at the seams. It's a drag king night at the cobalt. They are on face book. They do an amateur night on Sundays, lots of young cute little things in their 20s fluffing their boyish feathers.

Lots of butches here don't call themselves butches here. they use other nomers. Genderqueer is far more used than butch now. I think people have chaffed at what they saw as a restrictive ID. Or boi. Or a few other things... But generally butch as an ID in Vancouver seems to mean something Different and far more restricted than it used to, here. It seems to only pertain to very masculine old school types, rather than the rainbow I once knew it as. Just a heads up, lots of other names here mean the same thing (in my understand with the word I grew up with) as butch. And someone may look like a butch to you but they may tell you very firmly they are not. They are ______. Just nod.
Lol.

02-09-2014, 08:23 PM	#1
EmJay Member How Do You Identify?: femme Join Date: Nov 2012 Location: Canada Posts: 124 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 338 Thanked 447 Times in 96 Posts Rep Power: 3970856	I find it soooo hard to meet butches and FTMs. I live in a small town about an hour outside Vancouver. There is no LGBQT community here that I know of, so any cuties I see are in non-LGBQT areas like grocery stores or walking around the mall or something like that. I am a femme and there are no indications that I am queer. There for highly unlikely I will be approached and I am wayyy too shy to approach someone else. I like what someone posted about having a cute rainbow neclace. I think I will invest in one for myself. Great idea HoneyB.. Highfive on the smile from a butch. I'm sad to hear it does not happen more often though! I've always had hope that if I made it out to Vancouver the gay community would be swarming and I'd be like.. These are my people! Lol

02-09-2014, 08:49 PM	#2
Sweet Bliss Senior Member How Do You Identify?: I Am Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: solo Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: the Beach, Pacific side Posts: 4,160 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 5,354 Thanked 7,268 Times in 2,159 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	Hummm. Ya know, back in the olden days it was customary to hand some one a introduction card of sorts. Kinda like a business card only no business per se.. Maybe a card with a "we are family " kind of photo image or logo with contact info would be appropriate? I have blank biz cards with a fab image I take to art shows or fairs so I can hook up with other artists. Maybe you artsy types could suggest interesting images? just a random thought

02-10-2014, 02:38 PM	#5
imperfect_cupcake Senior Member How Do You Identify?: feminine dolly dyke Preferred Pronoun?: Your Grace Relationship Status: I put my own care first Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: In a gauze of mystery Posts: 1,776 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,426 Thanked 9,711 Times in 1,611 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	Lol oh, I've had several right ones in my life time, thanks. Go to Man Up. It's bursting at the seams. It's a drag king night at the cobalt. They are on face book. They do an amateur night on Sundays, lots of young cute little things in their 20s fluffing their boyish feathers. Lots of butches here don't call themselves butches here. they use other nomers. Genderqueer is far more used than butch now. I think people have chaffed at what they saw as a restrictive ID. Or boi. Or a few other things... But generally butch as an ID in Vancouver seems to mean something Different and far more restricted than it used to, here. It seems to only pertain to very masculine old school types, rather than the rainbow I once knew it as. Just a heads up, lots of other names here mean the same thing (in my understand with the word I grew up with) as butch. And someone may look like a butch to you but they may tell you very firmly they are not. They are ______. Just nod. Lol.