What do YOU need to feel loved?

PearlsNLace · 04-22-2010, 10:29 AM

Affirmations really help. Praise/acknowledgement. Attention. I dont think I need bucket loads, but yes, daily attention I do find essential. Im like a plant, I need lots of light and water.

Random · 04-22-2010, 10:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PearlsNLace

Affirmations really help. Praise/acknowledgement. Attention. I dont think I need bucket loads, but yes, daily attention I do find essential. Im like a plant, I need lots of light and water.

Wow.. this is interesting...

I hadn't thought of people as plants... but we are like them arn't we?

You just have to have the right gardener...

BullDog · 04-22-2010, 10:47 AM

Respect and a true commitment to work through the tough as well as easy times.

SuperFemme · 04-22-2010, 11:30 AM

Love of self. Without that I tend to be numb to any other kind of love.

Ms. Meander · 04-22-2010, 11:34 AM

Hugs are helpful

Softhearted · 04-22-2010, 11:45 AM

To feel loved and secure I simply need someone who believes in me and who can give me moral support in what I'm doing career-wise.... (yup, I once had a girlfriend who basically denigrated almost everything I did or choose to do).

I need someone who can hold me and show me empathy if things doesn't work out the way I planned... (Don't want to hear the proverbial "I told you so" or "What were you thinking?").

Also, in my own opinion, mutual trust and mutual respect are 2 fundamental keys to a good relationship.

Oh, and some flowers once in a while

! ( I love to give them too! )

MrSunshine · 04-22-2010, 11:49 AM

the ability to communicate like an adult.

honesty, integrity, open to other ideas besides their own.

And for shit sakes don't try to run the fuck!

MsDemeanor · 04-22-2010, 02:33 PM

Puppy kisses.

(In my book, all dogs are puppies. Once a puppy, always a puppy.)

Ldyluck88 · 04-22-2010, 02:38 PM

I feel in order to be loved one has to love oneself. The more I love myself, the more I can love someone else. Expectations? Well, I think the more I love being in the company of someone who can be themselves, by sharing laughter, conversation, heartaches, etc., the more I feel I have found my "best friend" and this is a feeling no one can express in mere words. In essence, they show their love, and in return, I show them love back.

MrSunshine · 04-22-2010, 02:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by June

Oh. I was waiting for an opportunity to post another one of June's unpopular (and personal) opinions.

Rule #1 - Femmes Always Run The Fuck. Even when they're taking it from behind.

Judging from comments received I would have to say it's not such an unpopular opinion. But we would like to believe we are in charge of something other than holding your purses while you try on a new pair of shoes.

Apocalipstic · 04-22-2010, 02:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MrSunshine

Judging from comments received I would have to say it's not such an unpopular opinion. But we would like to believe we are in charge of something other than holding your purses while you try on a new pair of shoes.

I let my G/F work on the pumbing sometimes too...you know, on those rare occasions when holding my purse is not enough.

SuperFemme · 04-22-2010, 02:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MrSunshine

Judging from comments received I would have to say it's not such an unpopular opinion. But we would like to believe we are in charge of something other than holding your purses while you try on a new pair of shoes.

Fucking running shoes, right?

Random · 04-22-2010, 04:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MrSunshine

Judging from comments received I would have to say it's not such an unpopular opinion. But we would like to believe we are in charge of something other than holding your purses while you try on a new pair of shoes.

I let her carry everything (even though I am the stronger) and I try to remember to let her move the heavy furniture... Isn't that enought.. sheese..

Hehe

Queerasfck · 04-22-2010, 02:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by June

Oh. I was waiting for an opportunity to post another one of June's unpopular (and personal) opinions.

Rule #1 - Femmes Always Run The Fuck. Even when they're taking it from behind.

O June, June, June. I'll be first in line to buy your book of rules! I love a good laugh.

WickedFemme · 04-22-2010, 02:52 PM

Effort; when I communicate my needs, make an effort by listening and then making the appropriate changes. If there is anything I need to do differently, let me know and I'll make the changes. Effort means a lot to me.... I don't expect perfection but some effort and mutual give and take is lets me know that i'm loved, which I am feeling presently... I am feeling the 'love'

Queerasfck · 04-22-2010, 02:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by June

Here, honey, hold my football while I do the Touchdown Dance.

Why'd you have to take it there June? Now I need a cold shower.

Lillie · 04-22-2010, 05:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by June

Oh. I was waiting for an opportunity to post another one of June's unpopular (and personal) opinions.

Rule #1 - Femmes Always Run The Fuck. Even when they're taking it from behind.

I LOL each and every time I see this posted..something so simple as "run the fuck" gets me each time ..ahahaha..

ok anyyyyyyyway lol..

I have no one way to feel love..I think each person loves differently..and each person recieves love differently..I remember the first time my first (ex) told me she loved me..she kept staring at me over dinner..and of course I asked what? and she said I need to show you..so she took my hand and traced the words I love you on it..it was a moment I know I will never forget..because without words she showed me..it was what our relationship was all about..showing!..it was in the "doing' of something not the "saying" of it..

Now fast forward 20+ years and its in all ways..I love to be romanced..I love to have notes left in places like my lunch box or car door..just saying..hello beautiful..it takes my breath for that moment..that is very powerful for me..I love to hear it as well..but..to me loving a partner must encompass what the word Partner truely means to you..it means everything to me..we share everything..im your rock you are mine..I do not feel the need to be reassured 24/7 of your love for me..but when we are together It will be known, felt..in a touch a certain look..the tone of voice in the conversation we are having. Im a queen and treat hym like a king..and I reap the rewards from that..it is unspoken yet it is the loudest I have ever heard it!..

Lillie

Mister Bent · 04-22-2010, 07:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by June

Oh. I was waiting for an opportunity to post another one of June's unpopular (and personal) opinions.

Rule #1 - Femmes Always Run The Fuck. Even when they're taking it from behind.

It scares me when I agree with you.

This may or may not be one of those times.

Lynn · 04-22-2010, 07:40 PM

I was thinking about this tonight, as I drove into the driveway after dinner out with some old work friends. After five years together, I still feel so loved and so loving. The two go hand in hand. I'm so appreciative of the "little things" she does and gives me every day which all amount to support, validation, and kindness. Contrasted with my past marriage, which seemed to be all about changing me, "helping me" overcome my weaknesses, and expecting me to meet his needs as a prerequisite to meeting my own. I felt like shit all the time. I've never been younger, sexier, prettier, smarter, more important, and more worthy of respect and adoration. Imagine that. So, to feel loved I need to be truly...loved. For me, that means support, validation, and kindness. It's so easy for me to return in kind when I feel so good.

blush · 04-22-2010, 10:03 PM

but
Goof.

That's all I need to feel loved.

04-22-2010, 10:47 AM	#3
BullDog Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Dominant Stone Butch Daddy Preferred Pronoun?: She Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: In A Healing Place Posts: 5,371 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 18,160 Thanked 22,665 Times in 4,464 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	Respect and a true commitment to work through the tough as well as easy times. __________________ Love consists in this, that two solitudes protect and touch and greet each other. - Rainer Maria Rilke

04-22-2010, 11:34 AM	#5
Ms. Meander Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Queer Femme Relationship Status: Ethical Nonmonogamist Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: The Mountains Posts: 1,520 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,706 Thanked 5,214 Times in 1,147 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	*Hugs are helpful* __________________ My wish for you is that you continue. Continue to be who and how you are, to astonish a mean world with your acts of kindness. Continue to allow humor to lighten the burden of your tender heart. - Maya Angelou

04-22-2010, 02:33 PM	#8
MsDemeanor Member How Do You Identify?: queer stone femme Relationship Status: Happily married to MisterMeanor, the man of my dreams Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: SF Bay Area Posts: 703 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 165 Thanked 1,852 Times in 511 Posts Rep Power: 2698180	Puppy kisses. (In my book, all dogs are puppies. Once a puppy, always a puppy.) __________________ artisan jewelry jewelry gallery

04-22-2010, 07:40 PM	#19
Lynn Member How Do You Identify?: Unabashed Feminine Lesbian Preferred Pronoun?: Her, She Relationship Status: Married! Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Upstate NY Posts: 689 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,499 Thanked 2,413 Times in 504 Posts Rep Power: 9668975	I was thinking about this tonight, as I drove into the driveway after dinner out with some old work friends. After five years together, I still feel so loved and so loving. The two go hand in hand. I'm so appreciative of the "little things" she does and gives me every day which all amount to *support, validation, and kindness.* Contrasted with my past marriage, which seemed to be all about changing me, "helping me" overcome my weaknesses, and expecting me to meet his needs as a prerequisite to meeting my own. I felt like shit all the time. I've never been younger, sexier, prettier, smarter, more important, and more worthy of respect and adoration. Imagine that. So, to feel loved I need to be truly...loved. For me, that means support, validation, and kindness. It's so easy for me to return in kind when I feel so good. __________________ In the flush of love's light we dare be brave And suddenly we see that love costs all we are and will ever be. Yet it is only love which sets us free. Maya Angelou Wedding Photos: https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?...1&l=22b092b98c

04-22-2010, 10:03 PM	#20
blush Member How Do You Identify?: femme Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: I'm with goofy. Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Texas Posts: 911 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 962 Thanked 2,375 Times in 616 Posts Rep Power: 15632317	Sappy, I know but Goof. That's all I need to feel loved. __________________ "We never forget those who make us blush." Jean-Francois de la Harpe

04-22-2010, 10:29 AM	#1
PearlsNLace Member How Do You Identify?: queer Preferred Pronoun?: They/Them & her/she Relationship Status: Lucky, very lucky Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Portlandia, Oregon Posts: 427 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 875 Thanked 1,286 Times in 315 Posts Rep Power: 6505517	Affirmations really help. Praise/acknowledgement. Attention. I dont think I need bucket loads, but yes, daily attention I do find essential. Im like a plant, I need lots of light and water.

04-22-2010, 11:30 AM	#4
SuperFemme Timed Out How Do You Identify?: Permanently Banned 10/24/2010 Preferred Pronoun?: She. Relationship Status: Married (one of 18,000) Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Atascadero, CA Posts: 4,933 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,309 Thanked 7,108 Times in 2,327 Posts Rep Power: 0	Love of self. Without that I tend to be numb to any other kind of love.

04-22-2010, 11:45 AM	#6
Softhearted Member How Do You Identify?: --- Preferred Pronoun?: ---- Relationship Status: --- Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: --- Posts: 298 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 454 Thanked 285 Times in 109 Posts Rep Power: 1556234	To feel loved and secure I simply need someone who believes in me and who can give me moral support in what I'm doing career-wise.... (yup, I once had a girlfriend who basically denigrated almost everything I did or choose to do). I need someone who can hold me and show me empathy if things doesn't work out the way I planned... (Don't want to hear the proverbial "I told you so" or "What were you thinking?"). Also, in my own opinion, mutual trust and mutual respect are 2 fundamental keys to a good relationship. Oh, and some flowers once in a while ! ( I love to give them too! )

04-22-2010, 11:49 AM	#7
MrSunshine Senior Member How Do You Identify?: The Gardner Preferred Pronoun?: Ummmm Relationship Status: Nah Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Sunshine State, State of Sunshine Posts: 2,616 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,577 Thanked 3,891 Times in 1,155 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	the ability to communicate like an adult. honesty, integrity, open to other ideas besides their own. And for shit sakes don't try to run the fuck!

04-22-2010, 02:38 PM	#9
Ldyluck88 Member How Do You Identify?: Me Relationship Status: not here Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: somewhere Posts: 175 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 161 Thanked 117 Times in 67 Posts Rep Power: 23	I feel in order to be loved one has to love oneself. The more I love myself, the more I can love someone else. Expectations? Well, I think the more I love being in the company of someone who can be themselves, by sharing laughter, conversation, heartaches, etc., the more I feel I have found my "best friend" and this is a feeling no one can express in mere words. In essence, they show their love, and in return, I show them love back.

04-22-2010, 02:52 PM	#15
WickedFemme Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: Very Happily Married to Bobbi46 Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: where I want to be Posts: 313 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 355 Thanked 994 Times in 221 Posts Rep Power: 7014692	Effort; when I communicate my needs, make an effort by listening and then making the appropriate changes. If there is anything I need to do differently, let me know and I'll make the changes. Effort means a lot to me.... I don't expect perfection but some effort and mutual give and take is lets me know that i'm loved, which I am feeling presently... I am feeling the 'love'