Lack of understanding of genderqueer

imperfect_cupcake · 01-13-2015, 11:34 AM

No of course not. And I know it's used in many ways. That's also why I'd like to encourage those who do ID as genderqueer to explain how they use it.

I also know it's used as an umbrella term - for example there have been dyke, butch, femme, bear, transgender, Transexual, a-gendered, boi, and unnamed gender at bar nights at various times in London and those places, as a general term have been referred to as "genderqueer clubs"

Genderqueer just generally means outside the realm of single gendered woman or single gendered man.

I also know one gal who is a femme gender with masculine pronouns and IDs as a femme daddy. She calls herself genderqueer. It's pretty much anything out of a recognised binary.

But I'd love to hear more from those who do use it, and why.

01-13-2015, 02:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by imperfect_cupcake

*Snippety-snip*
...But I'd love to hear more from those who do use it and why.

I've only inhabited the genderqueer id for 12yrs so I'm still a baby!

I know more than one femme who ids as genderqueer femme. One in particular I'm thinking of who, goes by a chaps name all the time and challenges folks on so many fronts as well as gender presentation, pronouns and nomenclature.
I also know a handful of hetero blokes from the kink community who also own genderqueer as id for their own non-binary reasons

For me it means exactly what it says on the tin. My gender is rather queer, not the norm, outside the the box...and therefore a challenge to those who can only view the world in black&white.

The majority of genderqueer folks I know are female-bodied, on the masculine end of the spectrum and have come to genderqueer after many years of not fitting into the usual rather limited identity boxes provided by the hetero and homo communities.

Genderqueer and proud!

imperfect_cupcake · 01-13-2015, 10:46 PM

I can't edit, but pardon my mis type of my mate's pronoun. Even I screw up at times.

cathexis · 01-21-2017, 04:53 AM

Know this thread has been down awhile, but I need to bring it back up.

As you can see from my profile, I identify as genderqueer. Have always (45 years) been a kaiki (?sp). When I'm with a womon, I tend to go to the exact place that would equalize the genders. You know, if she's on the butch side of center, I'll unconsciously slide to femme of center and vice versa. Don't realize I've done it until someone mentions it months later.

Last week my doctor and I got into a discussion about testosterone injections. Okay, I brought it up. What can I expect? What changes? My Partner seems to think it will help me emotionally. Give me a sense of well being and confidence that I lack. Sounds like a good idea, but I only know what I've read in medical literature.

Anyone have any personal experiences they want to share?

Gemme · 01-21-2017, 06:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cathexis

Know this thread has been down awhile, but I need to bring it back up.

As you can see from my profile, I identify as genderqueer. Have always (45 years) been a kaiki (?sp). When I'm with a womon, I tend to go to the exact place that would equalize the genders. You know, if she's on the butch side of center, I'll unconsciously slide to femme of center and vice versa. Don't realize I've done it until someone mentions it months later.

Last week my doctor and I got into a discussion about testosterone injections. Okay, I brought it up. What can I expect? What changes? My Partner seems to think it will help me emotionally. Give me a sense of well being and confidence that I lack. Sounds like a good idea, but I only know what I've read in medical literature.

Anyone have any personal experiences they want to share?

I can't help you with that myself but there are a few threads on testosterone already that could be helpful for you.

ETA: If you have questions about T, you probably should go in threads where that is discussed, which is mainly Trans threads. Here are some examples:

Linus has two threads that might be helpful. One is the Braveheart thread and one is the Ask a Trans person thread. DapperButch has a Questions for Transguys thread. Sam has a FTMs and transitioning thread. Girl_on_Fire has a Transgender Disclosure in Dating thread, which might also be useful in a different way. lettertodaddy has a Loving a Transman thread and Zora77 has a Dating a Transperson isn't Easy thread, which could give you insight into the relationship dynamic part of it.

These were found in the first 5 pages I pulled in my search. There are many more, but I'm limited on time this morning.

Good luck!

cathexis · 01-21-2017, 03:03 PM

I can't help you with that myself but there are a few threads on testosterone already that could be helpful for you.

ETA: If you have questions about T, you probably should go in threads where that is discussed, which is mainly Trans threads. Here are some examples:

Linus has two threads that might be helpful. One is the Braveheart thread and one is the Ask a Trans person thread. DapperButch has a Questions for Transguys thread. Sam has a FTMs and transitioning thread. Girl_on_Fire has a Transgender Disclosure in Dating thread, which might also be useful in a different way. lettertodaddy has a Loving a Transman thread and Zora77 has a Dating a Transperson isn't Easy thread, which could give you insight into the relationship dynamic part of it.

These were found in the first 5 pages I pulled in my search. There are many more, but I'm limited on time this morning.

Good luck

Thank you for your quick response to my question. Really appreciated!!!
Will check out the threads suggested. Wasn't sure where to go.

ClintB · 04-08-2017, 08:50 PM

Gender queer is a term that I'm starting to explore for myself.

Honestly I'm always a little late to my own party. Every since I can remember I was misgendered. In high school I tried girly but I never cared about cloths and frequently bought men's cloths... just because I liked them. I embraced an andogenous look when I came out, but girlfriends who were more butch than I pressured me to try be more feminine. It didn't work and it only made me feel more ashamed that I was failing girl school all over again... and self destructive behavior.

I'm trying to stop all the bullshit. I struggle to find a "professional" look that I am comfortable in, but in my day to day life I've cut my hair how I want, and now strictly wear men's clothing. I have some chest dysphoria I'm trying to figure out.

The problem with butch is that it's such a heavy label. I've not known a butch community that doesn't get into strong arming each other into stereotypes. I am sorry if that's totally wrong... it's just been my experience. I don't want another title I have to defend using. Gender queer is not at title I've fully adopted. I am in a confused state for gender... I'm not sure if I never was truly of girl, or if I've finally given up after being kicked out of the girl club so many times. :/

And that's a huge reason why I've come to these boards.

01-21-2017, 04:53 AM	#4
cathexis Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Trotskyist, Anarcho-syndicalist Preferred Pronoun?: They, Them, Their, Sir Bitch Relationship Status: open Join Date: Sep 2016 Location: Great White North! Posts: 4,332 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 16,812 Thanked 4,706 Times in 1,604 Posts Rep Power: 21474849	bump/bump/bump Know this thread has been down awhile, but I need to bring it back up. As you can see from my profile, I identify as genderqueer. Have always (45 years) been a kaiki (?sp). When I'm with a womon, I tend to go to the exact place that would equalize the genders. You know, if she's on the butch side of center, I'll unconsciously slide to femme of center and vice versa. Don't realize I've done it until someone mentions it months later. Last week my doctor and I got into a discussion about testosterone injections. Okay, I brought it up. What can I expect? What changes? My Partner seems to think it will help me emotionally. Give me a sense of well being and confidence that I lack. Sounds like a good idea, but I only know what I've read in medical literature. Anyone have any personal experiences they want to share? __________________ Insurrection is an art, and like all arts has its own laws. -----Leon Trotsky

01-21-2017, 03:03 PM	#6
cathexis Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Trotskyist, Anarcho-syndicalist Preferred Pronoun?: They, Them, Their, Sir Bitch Relationship Status: open Join Date: Sep 2016 Location: Great White North! Posts: 4,332 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 16,812 Thanked 4,706 Times in 1,604 Posts Rep Power: 21474849	I can't help you with that myself but there are a few threads on testosterone already that could be helpful for you. ETA: If you have questions about T, you probably should go in threads where that is discussed, which is mainly Trans threads. Here are some examples: Linus has two threads that might be helpful. One is the Braveheart thread and one is the Ask a Trans person thread. DapperButch has a Questions for Transguys thread. Sam has a FTMs and transitioning thread. Girl_on_Fire has a Transgender Disclosure in Dating thread, which might also be useful in a different way. lettertodaddy has a Loving a Transman thread and Zora77 has a Dating a Transperson isn't Easy thread, which could give you insight into the relationship dynamic part of it. These were found in the first 5 pages I pulled in my search. There are many more, but I'm limited on time this morning. Good luck Thank you for your quick response to my question. Really appreciated!!! Will check out the threads suggested. Wasn't sure where to go. __________________ Insurrection is an art, and like all arts has its own laws. -----Leon Trotsky

01-13-2015, 11:34 AM	#1
imperfect_cupcake Senior Member How Do You Identify?: feminine dolly dyke Preferred Pronoun?: Your Grace Relationship Status: I put my own care first Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: In a gauze of mystery Posts: 1,776 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,426 Thanked 9,712 Times in 1,611 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	No of course not. And I know it's used in many ways. That's also why I'd like to encourage those who do ID as genderqueer to explain how they use it. I also know it's used as an umbrella term - for example there have been dyke, butch, femme, bear, transgender, Transexual, a-gendered, boi, and unnamed gender at bar nights at various times in London and those places, as a general term have been referred to as "genderqueer clubs" Genderqueer just generally means outside the realm of single gendered woman or single gendered man. I also know one gal who is a femme gender with masculine pronouns and IDs as a femme daddy. She calls herself genderqueer. It's pretty much anything out of a recognised binary. But I'd love to hear more from those who do use it, and why.

01-13-2015, 10:46 PM	#3
imperfect_cupcake Senior Member How Do You Identify?: feminine dolly dyke Preferred Pronoun?: Your Grace Relationship Status: I put my own care first Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: In a gauze of mystery Posts: 1,776 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,426 Thanked 9,712 Times in 1,611 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	I can't edit, but pardon my mis type of my mate's pronoun. Even I screw up at times.

04-08-2017, 08:50 PM	#7
ClintB Junior Member How Do You Identify?: Butch, questioning Preferred Pronoun?: Interested in your opinion Relationship Status: Downtrodden Join Date: Apr 2017 Location: Traveler Posts: 68 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 6 Thanked 255 Times in 65 Posts Rep Power: 2362244	Gender queer is a term that I'm starting to explore for myself. Honestly I'm always a little late to my own party. Every since I can remember I was misgendered. In high school I tried girly but I never cared about cloths and frequently bought men's cloths... just because I liked them. I embraced an andogenous look when I came out, but girlfriends who were more butch than I pressured me to try be more feminine. It didn't work and it only made me feel more ashamed that I was failing girl school all over again... and self destructive behavior. I'm trying to stop all the bullshit. I struggle to find a "professional" look that I am comfortable in, but in my day to day life I've cut my hair how I want, and now strictly wear men's clothing. I have some chest dysphoria I'm trying to figure out. The problem with butch is that it's such a heavy label. I've not known a butch community that doesn't get into strong arming each other into stereotypes. I am sorry if that's totally wrong... it's just been my experience. I don't want another title I have to defend using. Gender queer is not at title I've fully adopted. I am in a confused state for gender... I'm not sure if I never was truly of girl, or if I've finally given up after being kicked out of the girl club so many times. :/ And that's a huge reason why I've come to these boards.