Question to butches and how they deal with differences in dating

imperfect_cupcake · 01-18-2015, 04:49 PM

Princess belle - it was originally thread to ask about how butches deal with dating differences in the beginning of things. Some things can seem on the surface as insurmountable, but I know from experience that if I'm actually really interested in getting to know someone, I'm willing to *try* to work around some things if I can. I think some people are worth the effort.

It's turned into ask everyone how they deal with differences in dating at the beginning. Which is great.

Dapper had a hypothesis. Not sure how that's working out, but yet to be seen.

So far the differences that can throw people are:

When to be monogamous
When to be romantic
What is romantic
How/when to have discussions about the above
What does dating mean

princessbelle · 01-18-2015, 05:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by imperfect_cupcake

Princess belle - it was originally thread to ask about how butches deal with dating differences in the beginning of things. Some things can seem on the surface as insurmountable, but I know from experience that if I'm actually really interested in getting to know someone, I'm willing to *try* to work around some things if I can. I think some people are worth the effort.

It's turned into ask everyone how they deal with differences in dating at the beginning. Which is great.

Dapper had a hypothesis. Not sure how that's working out, but yet to be seen.

So far the differences that can throw people are:

When to be monogamous
When to be romantic
What is romantic
How/when to have discussions about the above
What does dating mean

Thank you for the clarification. I hope i was in line with my post.

And a note on the romantic.....i will NEVER get enough of that, personally. It's what ties my shoelaces into knots (in a good way). And, yeah i believe dating means different things to different people. Being online it's hard to start that walk and be in total agreement.

All of it boils down to communication, communication, communication.

MsTinkerbelly · 01-18-2015, 06:00 PM

53 year old married femme

I still remember what it feels like to date, even though we have been together since 2002, because i left my kasey back in 2005 for around a year and dated. I was as someone mentioned, still wired for monogamy and jumped from one "committed relationship" to another (approx 3) during that period of 1 year.

I was not ready to be monogamous again, and had i REALLY dated as had been my practice before i married, i probably would not have jumped back into my marriage. So, possibly that covers some butches and femmes alike, who date too quickly once broken up from long-term relationships? Maybe for some it is a desperate attempt to return to "normal"? To be part of an us?

Before i met kasey i had been out of my hetro-sexual marriage for 5 years, and dated several people at a time, getting to know them and seeing if we were compatible. Sometimes sex, sometimes not...but nothing committed unless we both felt ourselves moving in that direction.

I do know one thing after all of these years...if i am ever single again, i will take some me time first, before i ever consider dating anyone. I would want to do it whole, and ready to be a great partner someday.

I hope that makes sense?

01-18-2015, 04:49 PM	#1
imperfect_cupcake Senior Member How Do You Identify?: feminine dolly dyke Preferred Pronoun?: Your Grace Relationship Status: I put my own care first Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: In a gauze of mystery Posts: 1,776 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,426 Thanked 9,712 Times in 1,611 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	Princess belle - it was originally thread to ask about how butches deal with dating differences in the beginning of things. Some things can seem on the surface as insurmountable, but I know from experience that if I'm actually really interested in getting to know someone, I'm willing to try to work around some things if I can. I think some people are worth the effort. It's turned into ask everyone how they deal with differences in dating at the beginning. Which is great. Dapper had a hypothesis. Not sure how that's working out, but yet to be seen. So far the differences that can throw people are: When to be monogamous When to be romantic What is romantic How/when to have discussions about the above What does dating mean

01-18-2015, 06:00 PM	#3
MsTinkerbelly Timed Out - TOS Drama How Do You Identify?: ... Preferred Pronoun?: ... Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: ... Posts: 6,573 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 30,737 Thanked 22,901 Times in 5,017 Posts Rep Power: 0	53 year old married femme I still remember what it feels like to date, even though we have been together since 2002, because i left my kasey back in 2005 for around a year and dated. I was as someone mentioned, still wired for monogamy and jumped from one "committed relationship" to another (approx 3) during that period of 1 year. I was not ready to be monogamous again, and had i REALLY dated as had been my practice before i married, i probably would not have jumped back into my marriage. So, possibly that covers some butches and femmes alike, who date too quickly once broken up from long-term relationships? Maybe for some it is a desperate attempt to return to "normal"? To be part of an us? Before i met kasey i had been out of my hetro-sexual marriage for 5 years, and dated several people at a time, getting to know them and seeing if we were compatible. Sometimes sex, sometimes not...but nothing committed unless we both felt ourselves moving in that direction. I do know one thing after all of these years...if i am ever single again, i will take some me time first, before i ever consider dating anyone. I would want to do it whole, and ready to be a great partner someday. I hope that makes sense?