Femme Invisibility?

BombsiteBoudicca · 03-09-2015, 05:52 PM

i know this sounds old skool, but i'm rarely 'seen' unless i'm with a butch partner/date/friend. This is simultaneously extremely frustrating *and yet* gives me a little frisson of excitement. It's the thrill of being recognized...a very powerful- and empowering- feeling for those of us who are often mistaken as straight.

princessbelle · 03-09-2015, 06:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BombsiteBoudicca

i know this sounds old skool, but i'm rarely 'seen' unless i'm with a butch partner/date/friend. This is simultaneously extremely frustrating *and yet* gives me a little frisson of excitement. It's the thrill of being recognized...a very powerful- and empowering- feeling for those of us who are often mistaken as straight.

I don't know how this is "old skool" but i completely agree with your post. It IS frustrating to not be seen when alone or with other femmes. However, when with my butch...wow, what a feeling. I walk tall and proud. I know i'm seen by both straight folk and most importantly by gay folk.

I remember not too long ago being with Durx8 at the mall and we passed a couple of butch folk and they smiled at us and nodded. Point is, if i had been alone, i would not have received that smile or nod or even noticed. It feels GOOD to be included in the community!!!!

I'm not sure what butches feel like when walking with femmes, but this femme feels SEEN. And PROUD.

MsTinkerbelly · 03-09-2015, 06:11 PM

Still invisable, looking more like a middle aged woman every day. Lol, whatever that really means!

I used to think femme meant dresses and heals, but i came out late in life (38) and had no role models other than finding the old B-F site and reading about what a femme SHOULD look like. I finally learned to just be me, and i am much happier.

I get visability when I'm with my love, and I am content with that.

Nat · 03-10-2015, 12:18 AM

One of the things I really have enjoyed about the reunions is the ability to be *understood* on sight by relative strangers, without necessarily having a date on my arm to queer me.

I've taken up the nod.

cutiefemme · 03-10-2015, 02:59 AM

I can't find an exciting butch. Once at a party two butches were debating if I was straight until I tried to dance with one of them but she already had a girlfriend. But sometimes I'm confident enough to turn my head and smile at a cute butch and then they notice me.

The_Lady_Snow · 03-10-2015, 06:37 AM

I lose my visibility at work, doesn't bother me till it does.

03-09-2015, 05:52 PM	#1
BombsiteBoudicca Junior Member How Do You Identify?: high femme/baby girl/girly girl/sometimes a femme daddy Preferred Pronoun?: Honey; darling; sexy Relationship Status: Daddy's girl Join Date: Feb 2015 Location: UK/USA Posts: 6 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 76 Thanked 27 Times in 5 Posts Rep Power: 0	two sides of the coin i know this sounds old skool, but i'm rarely 'seen' unless i'm with a butch partner/date/friend. This is simultaneously extremely frustrating and yet gives me a little frisson of excitement. It's the thrill of being recognized...a very powerful- and empowering- feeling for those of us who are often mistaken as straight. __________________ *Our visions begin with our desires - Audre Lorde*

03-10-2015, 12:18 AM	#4
Nat Senior Member How Do You Identify?: bigender (DID System) Preferred Pronoun?: he/him or alter-specific Relationship Status: Unavailable Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: Central TX Posts: 3,537 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 11,047 Thanked 13,968 Times in 2,589 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	One of the things I really have enjoyed about the reunions is the ability to be understood on sight by relative strangers, without necessarily having a date on my arm to queer me. I've taken up the nod. __________________ I'm a fountain of blood. In the shape of a girl. - Bjork What is to give light must endure burning. -Viktor Frankl

03-10-2015, 06:37 AM	#6
The_Lady_Snow MILLION $$$ PUSSY How Do You Identify?: Kinky, Raw, Perverted, Uber Queer Alpha Femme Preferred Pronoun?: Iconic Ms. Relationship Status: Keeper of 3, only one has the map to my freckles Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: La Reina del Sur Posts: 22,488 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 32,231 Thanked 80,077 Times in 15,670 Posts Rep Power: 21474874	Work I lose my visibility at work, doesn't bother me till it does. __________________ "If you’re going to play these dirty games of ours, then you might as well indulge completely. It’s all about turning back into an animal and that’s the beauty of it. Place your guilt on the sidewalk and take a blow torch to it (guilt is usually worthless anyway). Be perverted, be filthy, do things that mannered people shouldn’t do. If you’re going to be gross then go for it and don’t wimp out."---Master Aiden

03-09-2015, 06:11 PM	#3
MsTinkerbelly Timed Out - TOS Drama How Do You Identify?: ... Preferred Pronoun?: ... Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: ... Posts: 6,573 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 30,737 Thanked 22,906 Times in 5,017 Posts Rep Power: 0	Still invisable, looking more like a middle aged woman every day. Lol, whatever that really means! I used to think femme meant dresses and heals, but i came out late in life (38) and had no role models other than finding the old B-F site and reading about what a femme SHOULD look like. I finally learned to just be me, and i am much happier. I get visability when I'm with my love, and I am content with that.

03-10-2015, 02:59 AM	#5
cutiefemme Junior Member How Do You Identify?: stonefemme Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Feb 2015 Location: Australia Posts: 22 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 0 Thanked 66 Times in 21 Posts Rep Power: 15044	I can't find an exciting butch. Once at a party two butches were debating if I was straight until I tried to dance with one of them but she already had a girlfriend. But sometimes I'm confident enough to turn my head and smile at a cute butch and then they notice me.