FTM's and Transitioning

[Rufusboi]

I have been reading many of the discussions and see many people have questions about changing their gender markers. Every state is different. You must abide by the rules of the state you were born in for your birth certificate.

I changed all my gender markers 3 years ago without any problems at all. I had top surgery 7 years ago and had phalloplasty surgery January of this year.

If anyone has any questions about sexual reassignment markers or surgery I would be glad to answer any questions you may have. I am not an expert, I am just someone who has "been there and done that".

Here is the link for every state on changing your birth certificate. Each state is different.

http://www.lambdalegal.org/publicati...ority-to-amend

Here is the link for changing your Drivers License. Every state is different.

http://transequality.org/Resources/DL/DL_policies.html

Rufus

[DapperButch]

Hi, folks. I wasn't sure where else to put this, and I didn't think my transition warranted a new thread.

I wanted to share with my trans brothers that I am now socially transitioning and for all intents and purposes I will be "male" in our society.

I will share a bit of my journey with you all, in case some of you are interested.

I have identified as a transgender butch for quite a number of years (prior to this I identified as a female butch. I have never identified as a woman). Since I never felt "male" and didn't want some of the secondary sexual characteristics that came with testosterone, plus, the distress and difficulty it was cause in my professional life) I never transitioned. I have, however, struggled with social dysphoria for many years (discomfort with the public interacting with me as if I was female).

Over time, the secondary sexual characteristics have become something I have wanted and the social dysphoria has become so crippling, I decided to start taking testosterone and socially transition.

A huge turning point for me was realizing that I did not have to identify as "male" in order to take testosterone in order to get rid of both the physical and the social dysphoria. That is the key for me. I love this quote that I saw on another site. I don't even know the author, I just saw it in a post (I have it in my profile):

"I've come to the conclusion that transitioning isn't about "gender transition" anyway, it's about transitioning from someone with dysphoria to someone without dysphoria - and that may or may not involve crossing any perceived "gender boundaries".

My personal identity remains a TG Butch and a trans guy. How we are viewed in society is not always who we are. Non-binary FTM may also be a fit.

I am coming out at work early next week and will have my name change in the paper by the end of the week. My state requires that I announce my name change in the newspaper for 3 weeks in a row before I can go to court to legally change it. The process will take about 5-6 weeks. The legal name change itself isn't important to me, the issue is that being a healthcare professional, I sign my legal name many times a day in patient charts, so it will be hard for people to get used to my preferred name when they are reading my birth name over and over again.

I will go ahead and answer the OP's questions:

1)Where are you in your transition?

The definition of "transition" is different for everybody, so I can't answer this question.

2) How long have you been on T?

I started on low dose 9/9/14. I did low dose because I wanted to make sure that this was the right decision for me. Honestly, the indecision was getting to me so badly (I have been going back and forth for years), that I couldn't take "not knowing" anymore if T was right for my me. I needed to know if I was truly missing that chemical in my brain for my emotional health (not just physical changes).

I then decided it was right for me, so I increased my dose. Problem was my job shifted at work and I went into another department. I hadn't come out yet and thought I should go "in" as who I had been at my company for 9 years (female, albeit a very masculine one). I had to drop my dose as my voice was dropping. I lowered the dose dramatically for 4 weeks, so that my voice went back up. Needless to say, over the last 6 months my emotions have been all over the place. I have now come out to HR, and things are in motion. So, today was my third shot at my regular dose (maybe, I am still in the process of determining the right dose based on T levels).

3) How much T do you take on a bi weekly or monthly basis?


As of 3 weeks ago, I am taking .30ml (75mg), weekly, subcutaneous injections.

4) How does your body react to your shot intake?

Honestly, it is a crap shoot the first day as my body adjusts to this hormone. I can become agitated or emotional. It is something I try to pay attention to, but it is even hard for me to realize I am being that way.

5)Are you pre or post op top and or bottom?

Top Surgery - 10/10/13
Bottom Surgery - yet to be determined, if at all. I might get a metiodioplasty, I am not sure about urethra hook up, or not (there are so many complications, that one should expect to happen, sometimes requiring revision). I would go to Dr. Crane, who is going to have a new office in Austin, TX as of 10/2015. You have to be on testosterone for 2 years prior to meta. I am hoping that by then my employer will cover the surgery. Otherwise, it may never be an option for me. A meta with Crane run 20K-30K, based on what you get done. I don't have an interest in phalloplasty.

6) Where and Who did your surgeries?

Dr. Charles Garramone, Fort Lauderdale, FL.

I am hesitant to post this as it feels so exposing to me, but if my hearing my journey will help someone who is questioning if they should take testosterone and socially transition will make a difference, then it is worth it (and I truly mean that. I love and feel a huge bond to my butch sisters and brothers). I would have loved to have read how any masculine identified person decided to take testosterone and socially transition to male (regardless of their identity) when I was contemplating it.

[Logicaly]

Originally Posted by DapperButch

Hi, folks. I wasn't sure where else to put this, and I didn't think my transition warranted a new thread.

I wanted to share with my trans brothers that I am now socially transitioning and for all intents and purposes I will be "male" in our society.

I will share a bit of my journey with you all, in case some of you are interested.

I have identified as a transgender butch for quite a number of years (prior to this I identified as a female butch. I have never identified as a woman). Since I never felt "male" and didn't want some of the secondary sexual characteristics that came with testosterone, plus, the distress and difficulty it was cause in my professional life) I never transitioned. I have, however, struggled with social dysphoria for many years (discomfort with the public interacting with me as if I was female).

Over time, the secondary sexual characteristics have become something I have wanted and the social dysphoria has become so crippling, I decided to start taking testosterone and socially transition.

A huge turning point for me was realizing that I did not have to identify as "male" in order to take testosterone in order to get rid of both the physical and the social dysphoria. That is the key for me. I love this quote that I saw on another site. I don't even know the author, I just saw it in a post (I have it in my profile):

"I've come to the conclusion that transitioning isn't about "gender transition" anyway, it's about transitioning from someone with dysphoria to someone without dysphoria - and that may or may not involve crossing any perceived "gender boundaries".

My personal identity remains a TG Butch and a trans guy. How we are viewed in society is not always who we are. Non-binary FTM may also be a fit.

I am coming out at work early next week and will have my name change in the paper by the end of the week. My state requires that I announce my name change in the newspaper for 3 weeks in a row before I can go to court to legally change it. The process will take about 5-6 weeks. The legal name change itself isn't important to me, the issue is that being a healthcare professional, I sign my legal name many times a day in patient charts, so it will be hard for people to get used to my preferred name when they are reading my birth name over and over again.

I will go ahead and answer the OP's questions:

1)Where are you in your transition?

The definition of "transition" is different for everybody, so I can't answer this question.

2) How long have you been on T?

I started on low dose 9/9/14. I did low dose because I wanted to make sure that this was the right decision for me. Honestly, the indecision was getting to me so badly (I have been going back and forth for years), that I couldn't take "not knowing" anymore if T was right for my me. I needed to know if I was truly missing that chemical in my brain for my emotional health (not just physical changes).

I then decided it was right for me, so I increased my dose. Problem was my job shifted at work and I went into another department. I hadn't come out yet and thought I should go "in" as who I had been at my company for 9 years (female, albeit a very masculine one). I had to drop my dose as my voice was dropping. I lowered the dose dramatically for 4 weeks, so that my voice went back up. Needless to say, over the last 6 months my emotions have been all over the place. I have now come out to HR, and things are in motion. So, today was my third shot at my regular dose (maybe, I am still in the process of determining the right dose based on T levels).

3) How much T do you take on a bi weekly or monthly basis?


As of 3 weeks ago, I am taking .30ml (75mg), weekly, subcutaneous injections.

4) How does your body react to your shot intake?

Honestly, it is a crap shoot the first day as my body adjusts to this hormone. I can become agitated or emotional. It is something I try to pay attention to, but it is even hard for me to realize I am being that way.

5)Are you pre or post op top and or bottom?

Top Surgery - 10/10/13
Bottom Surgery - yet to be determined, if at all. I might get a metiodioplasty, I am not sure about urethra hook up, or not (there are so many complications, that one should expect to happen, sometimes requiring revision). I would go to Dr. Crane, who is going to have a new office in Austin, TX as of 10/2015. You have to be on testosterone for 2 years prior to meta. I am hoping that by then my employer will cover the surgery. Otherwise, it may never be an option for me. A meta with Crane run 20K-30K, based on what you get done. I don't have an interest in phalloplasty.

6) Where and Who did your surgeries?

Dr. Charles Garramone, Fort Lauderdale, FL.

I am hesitant to post this as it feels so exposing to me, but if my hearing my journey will help someone who is questioning if they should take testosterone and socially transition will make a difference, then it is worth it (and I truly mean that. I love and feel a huge bond to my butch sisters and brothers). I would have loved to have read how any masculine identified person decided to take testosterone and socially transition to male (regardless of their identity) when I was contemplating it.

Thank you for sharing this with us! I always enjoy reading/hearing about someone elses journey in their transition. Dr. Crane is an excellent doctor and actually who I am hoping to go to here in San Francisco for my top surgery.

[DapperButch]

Originally Posted by Logicaly

Thank you for sharing this with us! I always enjoy reading/hearing about someone elses journey in their transition. Dr. Crane is an excellent doctor and actually who I am hoping to go to here in San Francisco for my top surgery.

Thanks, man. I'd love to hear your story as well!

Depending on when you are getting it done, he may be in Austin full time. I know that is when he is opening his satellite practice down there in October and I believe plans to move there.

It seems as though Satterwhite is doing all of his top surgeries. I saw a guy on youtube who had Crane do one side while Satterwhite did the other when he was training him. They were identical. I think that was insane of the youtube guy to agree to that, but whatever.

Anyway, I think Crane is pretty much doing only lower surgery now, but i am sure if you requested him and he is still in San Fran you could get him to do it.

Do you live close enough that you could stay at home during recovery?

When do you think you will get it done? CA requires all insurance companies to cover trans health, but of course they do the bare minimum in order to meet the requirements of the law.

I was out of pocket with Garramone.

[Logicaly]

Originally Posted by DapperButch

Thanks, man. I'd love to hear your story as well!

Depending on when you are getting it done, he may be in Austin full time. I know that is when he is opening his satellite practice down there in October and I believe plans to move there.

It seems as though Satterwhite is doing all of his top surgeries. I saw a guy on youtube who had Crane do one side while Satterwhite did the other when he was training him. They were identical. I think that was insane of the youtube guy to agree to that, but whatever.

Anyway, I think Crane is pretty much doing only lower surgery now, but i am sure if you requested him and he is still in San Fran you could get him to do it.

Do you live close enough that you could stay at home during recovery?

When do you think you will get it done? CA requires all insurance companies to cover trans health, but of course they do the bare minimum in order to meet the requirements of the law.

I was out of pocket with Garramone.

I am hoping to perhaps at the end of next year be ready to have my surgery. The only thing really holding me up is financials. My insurance doesn't cover it because it is out of network. I originally wanted Brownstein, but he obviously retired, and so I had my hopes on Crane, and well, it seems like I might miss out on that opportunity as well. I just want to make sure that I have the best results possible. I do live here in San Francisco, at least in a suburb of it, so it would be extremely close to home which is certainly a nice perk.

Do you happen to have the link for the surgery where they both did it handy? I have not seen any results from the other doctor, but I love that Crane doesn't use drains.

I have been on T for wow, maybe 6 years now. I will have to type up my story to share, its nothing amazing, but its been a great journey for me, and one that I have learned on and evolved through during the years.

[The Oopster]

Originally Posted by Logicaly

Do you happen to have the link for the surgery where they both did it handy? I have not seen any results from the other doctor, but I love that Crane doesn't use drains.

Finally .... I have debated people for a long time about drains. I believe there are times they need to be used but not always ... so glad to see more drs coming around to this. If the dr. I had, had used drains it would have been absurd because I didn't have much fluid build up. So again nice to see this!

[ahk]

Dr. Peter Raphael in Plano, TX doesn't use drains either.
This is where I want to go if still living in NM.

[DapperButch]

Originally Posted by Logicaly

I am hoping to perhaps at the end of next year be ready to have my surgery. The only thing really holding me up is financials. My insurance doesn't cover it because it is out of network. I originally wanted Brownstein, but he obviously retired, and so I had my hopes on Crane, and well, it seems like I might miss out on that opportunity as well. I just want to make sure that I have the best results possible. I do live here in San Francisco, at least in a suburb of it, so it would be extremely close to home which is certainly a nice perk.

Do you happen to have the link for the surgery where they both did it handy? I have not seen any results from the other doctor, but I love that Crane doesn't use drains.

I have been on T for wow, maybe 6 years now. I will have to type up my story to share, its nothing amazing, but its been a great journey for me, and one that I have learned on and evolved through during the years.

I understand the attraction to no drains. They didn't bother me though. I actually think I would feel creeped out at the idea of my body absorbing all that blood and stuff. But, that is just me.

Do you know why Crane isn't in network?

It would be great to hear your transition journey.

Here's the guy.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mpxjGytnlD8

[deb0670]

Our 18 yr old son (ftm)is really having a hard time right now. We are trying to find a therapist for him, but not having much luck. it hurts my heart so much to see him struggle. Ethan helps when He can, but, He came out many years ago and did not have the same road our son is travelling on..
Our son wants to take T, get top surgery, get a hysterectomy,.. but doesn't know how to begin.
He has such dysphoria, that when he has to take his shirt and binder off, he cries.
Any ideas?
He is 18, but, he is still in high school and we are still 100 % supporting him in everything

[bright_arrow]

I just wanted to mention that when Logic and I looked at Cranes site last night, it said his office in TX won't be opened until 2016. Not sure if it's a typo, but it offers some more hope if it is indeed in 2016 :-)

[DapperButch]

Originally Posted by bright_arrow

I just wanted to mention that when Logic and I looked at Cranes site last night, it said his office in TX won't be opened until 2016. Not sure if it's a typo, but it offers some more hope if it is indeed in 2016 :-)

Hey, thanks for the information. I had learned about the 10/2015 from word of mouth, he did not have that information on his site. I'm sure 2016 is correct.

Regardless, it says that he will be back "several times a quarter", so I wonder if it was planed well enough it could still work out that Logicaly could get it done when Crane is in town.

It really depends on how important that one surgeon is for you. I knew I didn't want anyone but Garramone and would have waited for as long as I had to to see him.

[Liam]

Originally Posted by deb0670

Our 18 yr old son (ftm)is really having a hard time right now. We are trying to find a therapist for him, but not having much luck. it hurts my heart so much to see him struggle. Ethan helps when He can, but, He came out many years ago and did not have the same road our son is travelling on..
Our son wants to take T, get top surgery, get a hysterectomy,.. but doesn't know how to begin.
He has such dysphoria, that when he has to take his shirt and binder off, he cries.
Any ideas?
He is 18, but, he is still in high school and we are still 100 % supporting him in everything

Here is a list of gender therapists who work in Georgia. Some of them work online and/or also use skype, and the telephone, in their practice. Its really important that he not wear his binder all of the time, for physical health reasons. A good therapist will assist all of you in implementing a plan that will help your son be comfortable in his own skin.

I do not know or have any experience with the individuals on this list. It was obtained from a website called Laura's Playground.

B.E. Budd, Ph.D.
699 B Piedmont Ave, NE
Atlanta, Ga. 30324
*
2nd office at :
*
1216 Mars Hill Road, #C,
Watkinsville, GA. 30677
Phone : (404) 873-5517
Email : bebudd@bebuddphd.com
Website : http://www.bebuddphd.com/
Online Therapy Info : http://www.bebuddphd.com/contact.html
Online Therapy via Skype Web Cam and in office therapy.
"I am a clinical psychologist in private practice in Atlanta, Ga. I’ve been in practice since 1981. I am currently trying to make my services available to the trans community in my area. My primary office is in Atlanta, but I am in my new Watkinsville office one day per week. The same phone is used for both offices."

Joel Bagby
7193 Douglas Blvd, Suite 205
Douglasville, GA. 30135
Phone : (404) 920-0551
Very professional. In his office in Douglasville on Mondays.

Montgomery Medical & Psychological Institute, Inc.
Montgomery Institute
P.O. Box 33311
Decatur, GA. 30033
Contact: Jerry or Lynn Montgomery.
Phone : (404) 603-9426
TS support group and professional services. Information distribution center for the southeast region. Monthly meetings, free professional referrals, speakers, training seminars, hot line, and an annual TS convention. Screening required of clients. Local professionals working with our members are screened.
Publishes: Monthly newsletter and Insight, a quarterly magazine for and about TSs.

James L. Powell, Ph.D.
Accord Psychological Associates
2333 Windy Hill Road
Marietta, GA. 30067
Phone : (770) 980-9323

Relationship Enrichment Center
1640 Powers Faeery Road
Building 28, Suite 350
Marietta, GA. 30067
Also run by Joel Bagby (see reference above).
Phone : (404) 955-7715
Fax : (404) 956-9325

Erin K. Swenson, Th.M., Ph.D.
Brookwood Exchange Building
1708 Peachtree Street, NW., Suite 505
Atlanta, GA. 30309
Phone : (404) 312-5677
Email : erin@erinswen.com
Website : http://www.erinswen.com/
Dr. Swenson is a licensed therapist, ordained minister, and transgendered woman who will counsel face-to-face or via phone. Also offers periodic day-long workshops. Erin works with couples in severe crisis, persons and families with physical and mental disabilities, individuals and couples with gender identity / sexuality issues, as well as spiritual issues in personal life. With her own transgender experience, Erin is especially capable of assisting with gender identity issues. She has extensive experience with gender transitions, couples and families with gender identity issues, and faith issues around the topic of gender identity.

Rebecca H. Wood, Ph.D.
Wood's Psychological Services, Inc.
2470 Windy Hill Road, Suite 217
Marietta, GA. 30067
Phone : (770) 952-4503
Fax : (770) 951-8930
Email : RHolcombeW@aol.com
Licensed psychologist. Short-term therapy / evaluation. Works with adults & adolescents covering gay issues, gender issues, and survival of sexual abuse.

Alan Yorker, M.A.
1708 Peachtree St.
Atlanta, GA. 30309
Phone : (404) 874-1708

Michael S. McGarry, Ph.D, P.C.
Ridgeview Institute, Professional Building South, Suite 1
4015 South Cobb Drive
Smyrna, GA. 30080
Phone : (770) 435-5453
Website : http://www.atlantatherapist.com

AnnaLisa Derenthal, LPC, NCC
EMDR for Trauma, Grief & Loss, Mood & Anxiety Disorders, LGBTQI & Transitioning
11285 Elkins Road, Suite D-4
Roswell, GA. 30076
Phone : (678) 431-3901
Fax : (770) 521-0512
Email : annalisaderenthal@gmail.com
Website : http://www.annalisaderenthal.com
"I have two primary specialties: one is trauma and the other is gender identity issues. I also provide a weekly support group and love working with clients in the larger LGBTQI community."

Renelle "Ren" Massey, Ph.D.
1244 Clairmont Road, Suite 101
Decatur, GA. 30030
Phone : (404) 292-3400
Email : drrenelle@comcast.net
Website : http://www.drrenelle.com
"I'm a licensed psychologist practicing over 20 years in the Atlanta area. I work with mtfs, ftms, genderqueer, crossdressers, and other clients in exploring gender issues. I'm a WPATH member and have presented at Southern Comfort several times."

Tana Hall, M.Ed., LPC
204 Church Sreet
Decatur, GA. 30030
Phone : (404) 496-8262
Website : http://www.tanahall.com

H. William Martin, Jr., M.D.
5605 Glenridge Drive, Suite 605
Atlanta, GA. 30342
Phone : (404) 252-3001
Fax : (404) 303-8008

Jayson Peterson, MEd, MFT
2215 Cheshire Bridge Road NE
Atlanta, GA. 30324
Phone : (404) 816-7171, extension 14
Email : jayson.peterson@ccccp.org

Diane Solursh, Ph.D.
Augusta, GA
Phone : (706) 733-7029

Ana Adelstein, Ph.D.
Licensed Clinical Psychologist
The Highland Psych Collaborative
675 Seminole Avenue NE, Suite 307
Atlanta, GA. 30307
Phone : (678) 701-9559 x 101
Email : aadelstein@secure.highlandcollaborative.com
Website : http://www.anaadelstein.com
"I'm a Canadian transplant living in Atlanta whose been in practice almost 20 years. I'm a professional member of WPATH and have worked with TransYouth and Family Allies (TYFA). I specialize in helping people imagine and create richer, more fulfilling lives, and deeper, more satisfying relationships. If we team up, I will work with you flexibly and even playfully, incorporating techniques and approaches that have proven effective. I will encourage you to couple your insight with action so you can work out creative solutions. I will respect your right to decide what is good for you, based on your truths. I work with trans-identified/gender non-conforming youth (I've worked with kids as young as 3) as well as adults. I am available to work with clients remotely by using a HIPAA-compliant video service, But current Georgia psychology licensing laws restrict me to working only with individuals living in Georgia where I am licensed. Find answers I've penned relating to gender identity, among other things, online at HeathTap (http://www.healthtap.com). Also, please find me on Twitter @DrAnaATL"

[Corkey]

And while he isn't wearing his binder, he might throw on a Frog Bra for support, internal as well as external.

[DapperButch]

Hey, folks, I wanted to share that things went really, really well today coming out at work. I had two groups to share with and my supervisor also had two groups to meet with. I now work in two departments, so lots of people to tell. I needed them all told at the same time so that people didn't hear it from others. I do have two coworkers that weren't there today that I will tell myself in the morning.

I had no negative responses. Who knows what people are thinking deep down but at least where I work it is politically incorrect to bash trans people. , so I won't have to hear the comments.

Tomorrow my preferred name will be my email address and throughout most of our system.

I feel very fortunate to have the support at work, you all here, and of course tantalizingfemme.

Thanks, all.

[bright_arrow]

Originally Posted by DapperButch

Hey, folks, I wanted to share that things went really, really well today coming out at work. I had two groups to share with and my supervisor also had two groups to meet with. I now work in two departments, so lots of people to tell. I needed them all told at the same time so that people didn't hear it from others. I do have two coworkers that weren't there today that I will tell myself in the morning.

I had no negative responses. Who knows what people are thinking deep down but at least where I work it is politically incorrect to bash trans people. , so I won't have to hear the comments.

Tomorrow my preferred name will be my email address and throughout most of our system.

I feel very fortunate to have the support at work, you all here, and of course tantalizingfemme.

Thanks, all.

Congratulations, I'm very excited for you!

[JDeere]

Originally Posted by DapperButch

Hey, folks, I wanted to share that things went really, really well today coming out at work. I had two groups to share with and my supervisor also had two groups to meet with. I now work in two departments, so lots of people to tell. I needed them all told at the same time so that people didn't hear it from others. I do have two coworkers that weren't there today that I will tell myself in the morning.

I had no negative responses. Who knows what people are thinking deep down but at least where I work it is politically incorrect to bash trans people. , so I won't have to hear the comments.

Tomorrow my preferred name will be my email address and throughout most of our system.

I feel very fortunate to have the support at work, you all here, and of course tantalizingfemme.

Thanks, all.

Major Congrats, Dapper!

[Logicaly]

Originally Posted by DapperButch

Hey, folks, I wanted to share that things went really, really well today coming out at work. I had two groups to share with and my supervisor also had two groups to meet with. I now work in two departments, so lots of people to tell. I needed them all told at the same time so that people didn't hear it from others. I do have two coworkers that weren't there today that I will tell myself in the morning.

I had no negative responses. Who knows what people are thinking deep down but at least where I work it is politically incorrect to bash trans people. , so I won't have to hear the comments.

Tomorrow my preferred name will be my email address and throughout most of our system.

I feel very fortunate to have the support at work, you all here, and of course tantalizingfemme.

Thanks, all.

I am super glad to hear that you had no negative responses from work. I know what a great feeling it is to come out at work and to have it go well. I have had to do it at a few different companies now. So I am super happy for you.

Our 18 yr old son (ftm)is really having a hard time right now. We are trying to find a therapist for him, but not having much luck. it hurts my heart so much to see him struggle. Ethan helps when He can, but, He came out many years ago and did not have the same road our son is travelling on..
Our son wants to take T, get top surgery, get a hysterectomy,.. but doesn't know how to begin.
He has such dysphoria, that when he has to take his shirt and binder off, he cries.
Any ideas?
He is 18, but, he is still in high school and we are still 100 % supporting him in everything

I am sorry to hear that your son is having such a hard time. I totally understand. I can't express enough how much help it was to finally start taking T. So the sooner he can get that going the better. I would start with the therapist, after one or two sessions, I would say he can easily get a letter from them to give to a physician. The therapist might even be able to suggest a local doctor that can work with him. I see that Liam gave you a most awesome list of people to start with. I wish him the best, I understand how rough it can be, I hate seeing myself in the mirror with a shirt off. I am finally just now getting to a point that I feel comfortable looking in the mirror even with clothes on.

[Logicaly]

Since we are starting to share our stories, and I know how some times sharing stories and experiences can be beneficial to others, here is my story...

It all started on a dark and stormy night....well not really.

It probably started way back in Kindergarten, and I just never realized it. I never wanted to wear the dresses that my parents wanted me to. I never wanted to be on the girls teams for any games of tag, and I certainly never wanted to play with barbies, I wanted the GI Joes. On the rare days I did have to wear a dress, like school picture days, I would cry, and cry...it just felt so wrong. Then when puberty started...I hated myself, and I hated life for being so cruel to me and I didn't understand why it had to happen and be the way that it was. I just wanted it to end. I used to fantasize about being a guy, as early as 2nd grade, it just felt more natural to me. I felt like a freak, all through elementary school, like something was wrong with me, and I was carrying this dirty secret.

It wasn't until high school that I started exploring things more. I started coming out to very close friends as bi-sexual, letting a few very close female friends know that I was into them, and having them be into me, helped make that feel even better. Also, in high school I started going online and pretending to be a boy. I know that wasn't the most honest thing to do, but as a teenager, struggling with figuring out who they are, and feeling like a freak of nature, it was all I could do. I had a few girlfriends, while pretending to be this guy online and being seen as a guy, never felt more right. At the same time, the fact that it felt right, just made me feel more like something was wrong with me, after all, what kind of person wants to be a gender other than the one they are, right?

It wasn't until just after college, that I met a woman who was in the process of her own transition, that showed me that it was okay to be the person I felt that I was. She allowed me to publicly be the man that I always felt I was. It was at that point I started exploring it more in my personal life, although it was still a few years until I was able to tell my family. I was terrified to tell my Dad. We always worry about the things we shouldn't though. My Dad, and my family have all been amazingly supportive of me.

So I started hormone therapy about 5, maybe 6 years ago now. I started on a very low dose injection and have worked my way up to 1.5mL. I am terrified of needles, so I don't do my own injections. I have an amazingly supportive partner who does them for me, and she is so great that I don't even feel them generally. There was a time there where I didn't stay on schedule as much as I should, so my levels have fluctuated a bit, but now that my current partner is doing them for me, we are staying on schedule and things are moving along again.

I have been living publicly as a male, both at work, and in every aspect of my life for 5 years now as well. I have had my name legally changed, both first and middle. I took my grandfathers first name as my middle name, in honor of him after he passed. My drivers license was also changed to male as well. So now I am currently working on saving for top surgery. My insurance is Kaiser, and they would cover it, if I went with a surgeon in their network...but I want the best, so I am willing to pay out of pocket for it. We have worked out a plan to hopefully be ready to pay for it, by March of 2016. At this time, I have no desire to have any other surgeries. I do not like the end result looks of the genital surgeries, so unless I see some advancements on that, that likely won't happen for me, and I am okay with that.

As I mentioned before, I am really blessed to have such a supportive partner. She supports me in every aspect of it, and takes an active role in my transition. My family is also very amazing, I can't explain how good it feels to hear my Dad call me his son, my sister her brother and my nephew his uncle.

[DapperButch]

Originally Posted by Logicaly

My insurance is Kaiser, and they would cover it, if I went with a surgeon in their network...but I want the best, so I am willing to pay out of pocket for it.

Makes sense. So, when are you scheduled with Garramone?

We all have our favorites, my man.

I thought that Crane took Kaiser? I just looked now on his site and didn't see anything on insurance companies, but I could have sworn I read somewhere that he took Kaiser.

1.5ml every two weeks IM?

If IM, have you ever considered Sub-q?

http://transguys.com/ref/research/su...ous-injections

Thanks for sharing your story!!

[deb0670]

I have good news. Our son has an appointment in June for his first physical and consultation. A week to a week and a half after that, he will be getting his first prescription for T.
He is going to see a therapist to get a letter for top surgery, and the place he is going to will take care all of the pre and post stuff. Also.. Very very likely due to medical issues.. He will most likely be able to have a hysterectomy sooner rather than later.
Best part about all this.. Everything is super affordable!!
To be able to share this news with him when he came home from school the other day and see the look on his face... Did this Momma worlds of good.