Caregivers and Stress

[Kelt]

Hey Tex, check your PM.

[TruTexan]

Hey Kelt, thanks.

Also, I'm glad you've gotten everything set up for your mom, it's been an ongoing process I'm sure. I hope she enjoys her stay there and finds a lot of new friends she can talk to , gather with, and play games, etc.
Here's to our back surgeries buddy. I wish you well in yours if you choose to do it. Me, I'm going through with mine, it's finalized for the 18th June, a day surgery if all goes well from what the nurse told me. I see the doc 15th June and he'll talk to me about it more then and explain it all to me.


I wish all the care givers stress free times to come.

[TruTexan]

It's going to be an ongoing emotional struggle for me to make final decisions about what to do about my mom. A part of me wants to completely walk away because she's toxic to me and the guilt lies in me for thinking about leaving her behind because she's my mom and the only parent I have left that's living, even though she treats me badly.
I hate being in this position, it's tearing me up inside.

[TruTexan]

My younger sister that lives in TN that financially takes care of my mom, finally got a hold of her via phone and she talked to mom about her behavior towards me. She told mom under no circumstances should she ever lay hands on me again. That if she's that angry, she needs to stop yelling and wait for a time when she's alone to do all that screaming and yelling, etc. And to stop pushing my buttons and that I wouldn't respond to her and feed into her bullshit.
She also told mom that she wouldn't have taken her to the doctor the next day either, after her behavior like that. That I had the right to say NO and not do it. That I had the right to tell her I wasn't going to help her anymore if she kept acting like this, that it's a bad relationship she's building with someone that is her child and that loves her enough to stay here near her and give up my life plans to take care of her when she needs my help. What a way to treat me like that. And that she was so wrong for acting and behaving like that and that she knows if the roles were that she was here that mom would act the same way towards her.
And told mom to call me and apologize because she was very wrong for doing things like that all the time and it needed to stop and she needed to go see someone because she's very bitter and angry about her life and that her children have to help her make it through every month.

Anyways, mom called and I made her wait to talk to me for 3 more days, after a full 7 days of not speaking to her already. She apologized and told me she called and got medicaid to help her get to her dr. appts. every time she needs to go and that it was free. I was relieved because she always has a habit of trapping me in the car while driving and starts yelling and screaming and then it turns into a full blown fight with words between us and my ptsd and anxiety runs amock when she does that, WHILE I'M DRIVING.
Thank goodness I don't have to drive her now. Whewww what a damn relief.

I'm still not sure if I'm going to move away or not and fully walk away. I need to talk to my therapist and my case manager to make sure I make sound decisions because I don't trust my own decision making process when I"m stressed the hell out like I've been this past week and ongoing.

Thanks for everyone's pm's and words of encouragement and support on my rep comments as well. I appreciate every one of them. It's nice to know I'm not alone in this mess and that there's people in the world that actually care about what I"m going through. So Thank you all again so much from the bottom of my heart.