11-15-2009, 12:16 PM | #41 | |
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Right. I probably could have worded that a little better, and I appreciate your post all around. By bonding element I meant something more in the manner of what I said toward the end of my post, that "masculinity" doesn't belong solely to one group of masculine people and, further, that there is no "hierarchy" of masculinity with which to segregate (I hate that shit). I, too, have seen incidents where female and woman identified butches have been "erased" or treated as "less than," which I find absurd and harmful. I no more want someone policing my identity, my "butchness" than I want to do so to another. And it does go both ways, which you've no doubt seen, wherein the male identity is criticized as not being what butch is, or not belonging in queer space. You've been around, you know the drill. Regardless, I personally try to honor, and am thankful for the long history of butch. I may be male identified, but butch is meaningful to me, and most evocative (to me), of who I am. "Being butch" isn't something with which I automatically bond with others either, but the experiences that come of being butch - maybe. Real bonding comes from more than simply sharing a common thread.
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11-15-2009, 02:39 PM | #42 |
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jess, can I give your phone number to the 6 diva's? you can be there super hero...at the fixing plunging stuff you look better in the blue tights!.
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11-15-2009, 07:07 PM | #43 |
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Howdy guys
Hey hows it going yall? Jet, where you been man? Nice to see you here. A friend sent me here so gonna check it out.
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11-15-2009, 07:43 PM | #44 | |
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It strikes me that people who pull this trick (finding weak spots and exploiting them in a fight) are not limited to any gender, sexuality, or identity. They're simply assholes. To say "our women" do this or that is gets my hackles up. It implies femmes and this type of asshole behavior go hand-in-hand. They don't.
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11-15-2009, 08:20 PM | #45 |
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This is so true Tommi - such a great gesture.
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11-15-2009, 08:26 PM | #46 |
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11-15-2009, 08:31 PM | #47 |
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hmmmm, so maybe you really weren't really a virgin when we met
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11-15-2009, 08:43 PM | #48 |
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11-15-2009, 08:57 PM | #49 | |
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Hi all!
I'm going to use this portion of Jess's post as a jumping off point...maybe I should ask first...nah, it's all good. I absolutely agree with the statement that being a happy handyman does not come at birth. I'm going to take it a step farther and add that sometimes it never comes (not implying that you indicated that it did). I've got a small tool box with your basic set of tools. I can do minor repairs around the house but I'm not going to try anything that's too difficult. Usually if something needs to be fixed I look it up online, see if it looks do-able, and if not I'm calling the repair guy. It does occur to me that as an adult I have generally always rented, meaning I don't have to pay for repairs. One of these days when I buy again, that might be motivation to try and pick up more skills. Then again, maybe it won't. Same thing with my car - I can do the basic maintenance but I've got a great mechanic for anything beyond that. Speaking of cars, I've noticed that my straight guy friends seem to go with the stereotype that I give a shit about cars. We'll be driving around and they're talking about models and years and such - I'm politely nodding my head but really couldn't care less. I can't identify a car until I'm close enough to see the model written on the back. It's just something I'm not interested in. I was talking to a butch friend a while back and he was concerned because he felt as though because he's a butch he should be a happy handyman in order to take care of his partner. I pointed out that some partners are quite capable of taking care of home maintenance. Beyond that though, just because I may not do the repairs with my own hands doesn't mean I'm not taking care of my partner. I'm not good with my hands (well, at least in that way )but I know who to call when something comes up. I've got a fairly unrelated question as to how butches prefer to be referred to (knowing that this is personal preference, there is no single answer. We know that within our butch ranks we have female-identified, male-identified, other-identified; those who prefer male pronouns, those who prefer female pronouns, and those who couldn't care less. One word I use frequently with butches is 'bro'. I'm assuming that male-identified would be fine with this, but does this term feel erasing to some? I'd love to hear your collective thoughts on this. Quote:
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11-15-2009, 10:08 PM | #50 |
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11-15-2009, 10:46 PM | #51 |
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Who said what when
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11-15-2009, 11:14 PM | #52 |
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11-16-2009, 08:51 AM | #53 | |
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So I guess I acknowledged it, said it (the word) about myself internally after it being said to me at as a teenager (like 19 I think)... Ok I think that's right around 10 words...
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Last edited by Jett; 11-16-2009 at 08:54 AM. |
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11-16-2009, 09:17 AM | #54 | |
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Like Metro, it was said "about " me first.. in the second grade, by my babysitter's niece... "here comes my little butch" .. I went home and asked momma what it meant. She said it meant that babysitters niece was mean. I don't think I truly embraced the term until I was around 35 and began seeking out folks who were also embracing it. Sorry... that wasn't ten words or less... my girl says I practice "butch math" which means more bigger better harder faster.. LOL! |
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11-16-2009, 09:20 AM | #55 | ||
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Hey did you get my post at the other site about Colorado? My kin are in Boulder, Ft. Collins, Greeley, Sterling, Telluride, and Denver, Windsor..we have a lot in common as Colorado is my home state. Keep in touch dude. |
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11-16-2009, 11:07 AM | #56 |
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I just ran across a thread with a link to a video that I hadn't seen before, so I thought I would post the link in case others hadn't seen it as well. It looks like the video is about an hour long, and I haven't had time to watch it yet, but I believe it is a very important topic. Here is the link:
Tough Guise I feel that unexamined masculinity is a big problem in our current day queer and butch femme cultures. |
11-16-2009, 10:11 PM | #57 | |
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I have not had much time the past few days to peruse and hang out in cyber land. I've had a pretty hard day in the "real world" and reading this made me smile. Thanks. |
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11-16-2009, 10:16 PM | #58 | |
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Good to see you again. Bye for now. |
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11-16-2009, 11:04 PM | #59 |
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Thanks Greyson, it's good to see you and I look forward to your thoughts. I haven't gotten much of any response at all so far, and I have posted this here as well as 2 very large butch groups on Facebook. Thank you very much.
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11-17-2009, 01:30 PM | #60 |
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Bully....
give me a little time to take a look at the video.....then I'm sure I'll have some comments..... unexamined masculinity.....interesting idea.......... |
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