only another butch would understand

[Jess]

Personally, I think part of the "things only a butch would understand" is that knowing how to be "handy" and fix things, use tools, learn which tools to buy and which will make your life/ task easier... Does not come at birth!

Generally speaking, most of the butches/ women I know had at least one brother to whom their Dad's "taught" helpful junk to. Fixing cars/ toilets, etc. and as adults, we learned to hate that because we became reliant upon the service industry to do even the simplest repairs/ maintenance tasks.

What this butch understands is that even though my Dad didn't teach me and I spent years waiting and paying for repairs was that I could learn and it was actually pretty cool to do so. Some projects are fraught with frustration "while" I learn, but the end result of being able to do something "handy" for myself kicks ass! Burp! HOO RAH! ~scuse me~

The flip side of this process of tool discovery is the new category of superhero it places me into. I don't think of most butches I know as stereotypical anything. They are doctors, lawyers, chefs, teachers, mechanics, accountants who can or cannot burp , fart, or do floral arrangements with an uncanny grace that is neither masculine or feminine , it is moreover a reflection of confidence and care for the task at hand.

What I do feel pretty certain that all butches might understand is our own need to be exactly whom we are with all of the differences ( often from one another) that that may mean. I identify very strongly with my more masculine traits, however being born in this body and being seen and raised as a "girl" created a strong sense of seeking my own truths. It is just a guess on my part that many ( if not most) butches feel a very deep sense or need ( maybe urgency) to ID ourselves rather than have "any" stereotypes.

I do have an inner "pig" who loves to commandeer the remote, guzzle a brew, and make passionate armchair commentary while watching Hells' Kitchen. ( How many thought I was gonna say football? heh.. gotcha!) I also have a deep desire to make my girls home her sanctuary filling each back breaking chore with love.

I am very interested to see how conversations like this will go in this new space. I sincerely try not to be a shit stirrer and try to see things as an opportunity for me to perhaps expand the way I see the world and myself.

Thanks for some early morning brain candy.. to everyone who has shared!

I do have a things only butches would understand situation that I may get brave enough ( or stupid enough ) to share.. but I will give it a bit to see if this is the right place to do it... LOL!

Again, Thanks a heap folks!
Jess

[Darth Denkay]

Hi all!

I'm going to use this portion of Jess's post as a jumping off point...maybe I should ask first...nah, it's all good.

I absolutely agree with the statement that being a happy handyman does not come at birth. I'm going to take it a step farther and add that sometimes it never comes (not implying that you indicated that it did). I've got a small tool box with your basic set of tools. I can do minor repairs around the house but I'm not going to try anything that's too difficult. Usually if something needs to be fixed I look it up online, see if it looks do-able, and if not I'm calling the repair guy.

It does occur to me that as an adult I have generally always rented, meaning I don't have to pay for repairs. One of these days when I buy again, that might be motivation to try and pick up more skills. Then again, maybe it won't.

Same thing with my car - I can do the basic maintenance but I've got a great mechanic for anything beyond that.

Speaking of cars, I've noticed that my straight guy friends seem to go with the stereotype that I give a shit about cars. We'll be driving around and they're talking about models and years and such - I'm politely nodding my head but really couldn't care less. I can't identify a car until I'm close enough to see the model written on the back. It's just something I'm not interested in.

I was talking to a butch friend a while back and he was concerned because he felt as though because he's a butch he should be a happy handyman in order to take care of his partner. I pointed out that some partners are quite capable of taking care of home maintenance. Beyond that though, just because I may not do the repairs with my own hands doesn't mean I'm not taking care of my partner. I'm not good with my hands (well, at least in that way )but I know who to call when something comes up.

I've got a fairly unrelated question as to how butches prefer to be referred to (knowing that this is personal preference, there is no single answer. We know that within our butch ranks we have female-identified, male-identified, other-identified; those who prefer male pronouns, those who prefer female pronouns, and those who couldn't care less. One word I use frequently with butches is 'bro'. I'm assuming that male-identified would be fine with this, but does this term feel erasing to some? I'd love to hear your collective thoughts on this.

Originally Posted by SyrJess

Personally, I think part of the "things only a butch would understand" is that knowing how to be "handy" and fix things, use tools, learn which tools to buy and which will make your life/ task easier... Does not come at birth!

Generally speaking, most of the butches/ women I know had at least one brother to whom their Dad's "taught" helpful junk to. Fixing cars/ toilets, etc. and as adults, we learned to hate that because we became reliant upon the service industry to do even the simplest repairs/ maintenance tasks.

What this butch understands is that even though my Dad didn't teach me and I spent years waiting and paying for repairs was that I could learn and it was actually pretty cool to do so. Some projects are fraught with frustration "while" I learn, but the end result of being able to do something "handy" for myself kicks ass! Burp! HOO RAH! ~scuse me~


Jess